M Is For Me

Clothes Shopping: Doing What I Don’t Like To Do And Telling You All About It

/ Ally Bean / 15 Comments

The Facts.  I went clothes shopping yesterday afternoon.  I dislike shopping for clothes.  Yet I forced myself to get out there and buy something to wear this fall.

I wore: Josef Seibel sandals (from Dillard’s), Diane Von Furstenberg capris (from Kohl’s), Lands End t-shirt (from Sears) + simple jewelry (from Tiffany’s*).  I was carrying a Baggallini cloth purse (purchased online) which is lightweight and expandable.  For me, this is a typical shopping for clothes outfit;  I wear clothes that I can get in & out of easily.  But in this case I didn’t have on even one piece of clothing from the stores I was going to.  This was probably an oversight on my part.

I went to a lifestyle center where I could park my car in one spot, then walk along outside to these four women’s clothing stores that are almost side-by-side.

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•  First I went to Talbots.  This is not my most favorite store, but I admit that they do have clothes that are well-made and age-appropriate in decent colors.  Usually.

A sales woman dressed in black [isn’t that out of fashion?] greeted me when I walked into the store.  She then took one look at me, turned around and went to the back of the store.  After I picked up a few items to try on a young guy came over to me and offered to put my items in a dressing room.  I never saw him again.

After trying on a number of clothes, I decided to buy a few things.  So I folded what I wanted, took my purchases to the cash register counter and waited for the one employee at the register to ring up all the customers standing in line.  During my wait the first woman appeared, looked at all of us waiting to buy items, turned around and went back to wherever she was hiding.

It was a disappointing shopping experience.  I give Talbots a C-.

•  Next I went to Ann Taylor.  I love the style of clothes in this store.

A sales woman working behind the cash register counter enthusiastically greeted me when I walked into the store.  She explained the deals to me & smiled at me.  I looked around the store, but saw nothing that I needed now.  This made me sad because I wanted to buy something there.  So I said “thank you” and went on my way.  The sales woman said “good-bye” and told me to stop back again.  She was still smiling.

It was a lovely shopping experience.  I give Ann Taylor a B+.

•  Next I went to Chico’s.  I have a love-hate relationship with this store.  My style is not glittery and flow-y, but the clothes are well-made & the accessories are great. So I go in there when I’m near one just to see what they’ve got going on.

A  sales woman greeted me immediately as I entered the store.  She told me about the deals.  After I began to collect items to try on a different sales woman came over, took my items to a dressing room and then checked back as I was trying on clothes to see what I might need to resize.  She was helpful.

When I went to buy some items I did not wait in line because three employees were running cash registers.  The store was hopping and the vibe was fun which made me happy.

It was a wonderful shopping experience.  I give Chico’s an A.

•  Last I went to Coldwater Creek.  This store is popular around here and I like some of their clothes, some of the time, when the colors are not muddied and the textures are not too nubbly.

No one said a word to me when I walked into the store.  I wandered around, collecting items to try on– while carrying two large shopping bags from other stores.  No one offered to take my clothes to a dressing room for me.  No one offered to grab a blouse off the higher rack for me.  No one noticed that I existed.

I found myself a dressing room, tried on some clothes, re-dressed myself, went back out onto the sales floor carrying my two large shopping bags from other stores, found what I needed, returned to the same dressing room, and tried on some more clothes.  I then decided to buy a few items which I took to the cash register desk.

Here I found two employees at the cash registers ringing up customers while both employees carried on an involved [grandma one-upmanship] conversation with three other women who were [supposedly] shopping in the store.  I felt like an intruder within their [60-something] clique, but I have to admit that as the employee handed me my purchases she did manage to say “thank you.”  So there’s that.

It was a frustrating shopping experience.  I give Coldwater Creek a D+.

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The Conclusion.  I really have no insightful conclusion to this story.  Yes, I got some clothes.  Yes, I had a tolerable time clothes shopping.  I guess.

But what could have been one of the best afternoons of fall– filled with lots of new clothes & warm memories– was, as usual, a trial.  A struggle to find something that fit.  A struggle to find a sales employee who was attentive.  A struggle.

And I just don’t think that is how clothes shopping should be.  But it is.

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* Upon hearing this story, Zen-Den took it personally that my jewelry from Tiffany’s did not help me get noticed or good service in two of these stores.  From his POV, this shopping trip did not offer the predicted ROI that he was expecting from sinking his monies into platinum & diamonds!  He’s so sweet.

[Well hello there FTC!  It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?  But today, because I’m talking about specific stores, I want to let you know that I was in no way compensated for my opinions about what happened to me when I went clothes shopping.  We’re good, FTC.  Right?]

The “Ray Of Sunshine” Meme

/ Ally Bean / 8 Comments

Last week Polly of caughtwriting tagged me with a lighthearted award known as The Sunshine Award.  It’s a fun little award/meme that lets me tell you, my gentle readers, a bit more about myself.

The rules are as follows: 1.  Thank the person who gave me this award;  2.  Answer the questions below – its all about favourite things;  3.  Pass on the award to other sunshine-y bloggers and tell them about it.

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1.  The Thank You.

Thank you Polly for thinking of me.  It’s always fun to find out what other bloggers have to say about the same topics.  I think that’s why I like memes so much.  They are a pleasant little peek into someone else’s life.

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2.  The Questions.

Favourite colour

Today it is aqua + cyan + teal.  Turquoise jewelry.  Ocean waves.  Soothing and relaxing colors that seem to call to me as the heat of summer is upon us.

Favourite animal

Cats.  First of all I think that cats are very handsome animals.  Then, of course, I  like how a cat with one disparaging glance can put anyone or anything in its place.  Good looks + attitude.  What’s not to admire?

Favourite number

Eight.  What I think is really cool about eight is that if you write it numerically, then lay it on its side, you will have the symbol for infinity.  Such versatility charms me.

Favourite drink

Vodka.  Preferably Grey Goose on the rocks with a twist of lemon.  It’s a simple and straightforward drink– easy to make, nice to sip, pretty to look when served in a cut crystal tumbler.

Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter, definitely.   I find it more informative than FB.  I like how Twitter’s 140 character limit forces everyone to get to the point.  And it just seems more fun to me.  In the moment.  A little wacky.

Your passion…

Interior design.  Over the years I’ve gotten more interested in knowing about design principles & color combos & furniture styles.  Then using what I’ve learned I’ve been slowly redecorating our home so the it is more inviting + cheerful + livable.  When I’m not stressed out about all the expensive choices I’m making, I rather enjoy being an active amateur interior designer.

Giving or receiving presents?

I find the idea of giving or receiving presents problematic.  I don’t enjoy shopping for anything, ever– nor do I feel like anyone needs to give me a present for anything, ever.  All of which means that I’m uncomfortable with both the giving and receiving of presents.  Truthfully, I’d rather spend time with the people who I love than spend time messing around with presents for them.            

Favourite day

Tuesday.  Don’t know why.  I just like it.

Favourite flower

Lately I’ve been on a daisy and zinnia kick.  The former because they seem to grow anywhere– and the latter because I’m determined to get them to grow somewhere.

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3.  The Award Ceremony.

As for passing the award along to other sunshine-y bloggers, here’s what I’m going to do.

If you are a self-described ray of sunshine [or you’re looking for something to do on your blog], then by all means do this meme.  It’s fun.  It’s light.  It’s a perfect sort of meme that puts all other memes to shame.  YES, gentle readers, this is the meme for you.

And with that, I have fulfilled my obligation regarding Rule #3.  See you later, meme-a-gators.  It’s beautiful outside today– and this little ray of sunshine wants to be out in the garden.

Answering The Quaker Questions

/ Ally Bean / 14 Comments

FYI, THE 2019 UPDATE TO THIS POST IS HERE: Revisiting The Quaker Questions: Say What? Naked Who?

[Please note: I updated this post August 2015 to include additional links that did not show up on my original Google search when I wrote the post in June 2012.]

•  Once upon a time Zen-Den and I joined a Presbyterian Church.  At one of the New Members Meetings we answered The Quaker Questions.  Here are the three questions:

  1. Where were you born?
  2. When you were 7 years old how did your family heat your home?
  3. What person in your real life growing up influenced you in a way that makes you who you are today?

•  Curious as always, I did a Google search on The Quaker Questions.  I figured that they were probably rather standard;  but I was wrong.  I found the following links– none of which duplicate what I’d call The Quaker Questions.

•  As you probably know I’m a firm believer in the idea that: if something works, stick with it.  Therefore I’ll be answering THE [PRESBYTERIAN-ESQUE] QUAKER QUESTIONS that were asked of me years ago.  So without further nattering, I give you my answers:

1.  Ohio

2.  Our home was an old house that consisted of two apartments, with a modern addition at the back of it.  We lived in the upstairs apartment.  The original part of the house was 100 years old and heated by a huge old clunky gas furnace in the basement that sent warmth to large hissy radiators in the rooms upstairs.

The newer part of the house, at the back of the building, had a coal-burning fireplace with a gas starter [that used a really cute little metal key that my 7 y.o. self adored & wanted for her very own.]

3.  My 10th grade English teacher had a big influence on who I am today.  She believed that everyone could write well.  She was a cheerful soul who gave me the courage to express myself on paper;  she taught me how to enjoy whatever life had to offer, knowing that later I could write it down to share with other people.

•  Care to play along?  Do so in the comments below OR on your own blog.

Musings On Being A Good Listener

/ Ally Bean / 11 Comments

It’s not unusual for someone— who might be a close friend or a brand new acquaintance– to lean in close to me and then tell me something private about himself or herself.  I’m THAT sort of person.

Everyone tells me everything.  Always have.  Always will, I suppose.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that if someone feels threatened by me, then I know that person has mental health problems.  Because no well-balanced person ever thinks of me as a threat.

They think of me as a confidante, a mother confessor, a problem solver, but never as someone to be wary of.

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When I was in college I asked a prof in the Communications department why she thought people treated me like this.  I was taking her course in listening at the time and had excelled at all the classroom auditory tests.

Her observations were that I was an active listener [H/T to my parents on that one] and that I appear to pay attention to what is going on around me.  So, because I tune into people, they are comfortable around me and want me to know things about them.

At the time I thought that was as good of an explanation as any– and I still do.

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I don’t really mind my role as listener, but do find AT TIMES people say some pretty wacko things to me.  I’m not a Judgey McJudgerton, so I let most things roll off me.  I figure that I’m not here to change people, I’m here to help whoever find his or her own way by allowing him or her to talk openly about– well, whatever.

To wit, it’s rare for me to tell someone he or she is doing something stupid, childish, immoral, unethical.  In fact, if by chance I ever tell you that you need to behave differently, then you can be assured that you’ve crossed some sort of line.

And that it’s time for you to re-think how & why you do what you do.

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Anyone else find him or herself in the same sort of role as I do– that is, people telling you things for no apparent reason?  And if so, how do you handle it?  With grace or with annoyance?  With zipped lips or with your finger on speed dial to immediately pass the info along?

Just curious.  No reason, really.