Thinking About

The One About An Empathetic Chatbot, A Crazy Quilt Garden, & An August Blogging Break

/ Ally Bean / 230 Comments
A REMINDER THAT COMMUNICATION CAN BE TRICKY

Thanks to Marie I learned about a TV series called Astrid. It’s a drama about a woman [Astrid] with Asperger’s syndrome who works for the police in their library. She loves puzzles, remembers everything, and helps the police solve crimes.

The series does a good job of presenting Astrid and all her quirks in a thoughtful way. She’s socially awkward but not mean-spirited. She is neurodivergent, not always catching onto the subtext of conversations or situations.

Social cues escape her, strict habits keep her sane.

It’s fascinating to watch her and has made me more aware of the communication divide between neurotypes.

To wit, the other day I came across an article in Reuters, ‘It’s the most empathetic voice in my life’: How AI is transforming the lives of neurodivergent people. The gist of the article is that AI-powered chatbots, such as NeuroTranslator, can help neurodivergent people communicate more clearly, reducing misunderstandings.

All one has to do is ask AI about your quandary, then it’ll explain what’s happening from a neurotypical point of view.

Below is a screenshot of a conversation in which Micheal who is neurodivergent asks AI to help him understand why his wife, Jennifer who is neurotypical, took offense at his comment about her shirt. The chatbot tells him that “Neurotypicals often expect more positive feedback…” than his direct comment, thus she was peeved.

Welp, here’s the thing: With all due respect to the chatbot, I don’t see anything wrong with what Micheal said to Jennifer.

So does this mean I’m neurodivergent and don’t know it? I could envision me saying something like what Micheal said, direct & to the point. No harm, no foul.

Or thinking about it in a different way, I wonder about Jennifer’s state of mind. She seems a little neurotic to me, maybe insecure.

Granted I don’t take much of anything personally and I know to consider the source, but if Micheal told me his honest assessment of my shirt, unlike Jennifer I’d have smiled and said “thanks.”

No big deal.

~ • ~
A LOOK AT MY CRAZY QUILT GARDEN, A WORK IN PROGRESS

I’m calling my latest attempt at creating a butterfly garden as a Crazy Quilt Garden.

Crazy quilts were popular in the late 1800s. Victorian women created them using a patchwork of irregularly-shaped fabric piece sewn together then embellished with embroidery, ribbon, beads, and lace. The resulting quilts were idiosyncratic works of art with no repeating motifs like you see in Amish quilts.

Because I  wasn’t happy with our rigidly organized flower garden with its repeating motifs, last fall I pulled out most of the perennials with the intention of creating a less organized ‘country-style’ garden for the butterflies and bees. I wanted a purposely mixed-up garden like a crazy quilt.

I left the roses, salvia, Russian sage, and milkweed because they were/are thriving and make a good backbone for this little area. Then this past spring I planted some new perennials [bee balm, daisies, Pentas, and rudbeckia] plus a few herbs [basil, thyme, mint, dill, and rosemary] that I knew were popular with butterflies and bees.

I also tossed in some marigolds, an annual, to add dots of color. Plus scattered some zinnia seeds for fun. So far everything has grown [except the dill] and is looking a little wild and raggedy like I’d hoped it would. But there’ve been no butterflies only bees which is good, but not cool like having butterflies around.

Still I am hopeful.

~ • ~
A PLAN TO NOT BE HERE IN AUGUST

If you’ve followed The Spectacled Bean for a while you know that I often take a blogging break in August. I don’t like August. The heat & humidity + the pollen makes me itchy, twitchy, and bitchy.

While I admit that being bitchy can be a great catalyst for interesting blog posts, the itchy and twitchy part requires that I get cozy with the girls— Pat, Vertie, and Flo. I’m talking about Pataday eye drops, Alavert antihistamine pills, and Flonase nasal spray.

Meds for seasonal allergies, ‘ya know.

And the thing is that the girls make me tired so that writing seems like a chore instead of a joy. And I won’t let blogging become a chore. That would never do.

Soooo I’m ducking out of blogland for the month of August. I hope to return in September after allergy season is history for me.

Later, kids!

~ • ~
QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Are you fascinated by the ways in which people communicate? Are you aware of anyone in your life who is neurodivergent?

Do you have a flower garden? And if so, Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, how does your garden grow? Do you have butterflies and bees?

Does anyone have fun plans for August? Just because I dislike the month doesn’t mean I expect anyone else to feel the same way. 

~ ~ • ~ ~

Welcome: A Few Meandering Thoughts About Being Gladly Received

/ Ally Bean / 205 Comments

I take my blog prompts where I find them…

Years ago I remember reading an article about how to connect with people, online and in real life. The gist of the article was about ways to make sure you’ll be gladly received, appreciated even by the people you meet.

In retrospect I realize that the article touched on ideas you might find in Norman Vincent Peale’s ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ but that’s not what the article was about. It was a modern take.

According to the article the formula for being included was simple. Initially you establish yourself as memorable, then you apply yourself to being likable. A leads to B, familiarity with your uniqueness leads to people feeling comfortable around you. Then as long as you are consistent, you will be welcomed.

I’ve never definitively decided what I think about this advice, however it’s stuck with me— maybe to be shared and discussed in this very moment.

🔹 Playing the part of devil’s advocate here, first off it seems to me that being memorable can be a slippery slope. It’s great if you’re remembered for doing something ostensibly positive, but how many times do you remember someone because of the less positive thing that they did?

[QUICK: elementary school – who threw up in class? high school – who was stoned more often than not? college – who got caught cheating on an exam?]*

🔹 Then of course there’s also the issue of the definition of likable. Without using a dictionary, mine would be something along the lines of:

  • friendly, warm, non-judgmental
  • assertive but not aggressive
  • truthfulness wrapped in kindness

How would you define a likable person? Are you one? Is this something you aim to be?

🔹 And as for consistent, something I think of as being conscientious, but of course could also mean consistently not being conscientious, I’d suggest that most people don’t pay close enough attention to what other people do to really notice if someone is consistent.

Thus I will conclude by saying that the foregoing, my gentle readers and kind lurkers, is nothing more than my addled brain’s meanderings, unfiltered and with no hidden agenda, after seeing the word WELCOME on a wooden container holding a few tulip bulbs.

This is what I thought about.

Any remarks, regrets, reconsiderations you’d like to add?

* In fourth grade – Janie who was shy and scared to stand up in front of the class, threw up in front of the class while giving her report on how to play her flute. Vomit went everywhere, including inside her flute. She didn’t return to class for a few days.

In high school – Doug who was a kid who lived down the street from me on the swankier end of the street, had a ready supply of weed. He enhanced his social standing by putting vodka dyed dark green into an empty Chloraseptic sore throat spray bottle that he carried around, happy to spray some into your mouth.

In college – Susan who was smart but lived in fear of not being perfect, was caught sneaking around in the library cheating on a take home honor system exam. She cried her way into being allowed to take it a second time. She got an A+ of course.

Discussing The Impact Of An Audience + Sharing My Summer Blogging Schedule

/ Ally Bean / 184 Comments

The Impact Of An Audience

a jigsaw puzzle with a few pieces missing

AFTER I READ WHAT I read, I couldn’t stop thinking about the advice that many people found inspirational. Considering I had worked in a world where “know your audience” was the mantra, what I read seemed off-base.

Yet being open-minded I got thinking about it. Oddly enough it seemed like good advice and bad advice in one paradoxical statement. So in an attempt to get to the heart of what this advice meant I talked with a few friends about it.

We couldn’t agree about what to make of it.

So what, you might be asking yourself, did I read that lead to pondering and *perhaps* profundity? I read this brief article entitled: Amanda, There Is No Audience.

The title IS the simple advice that may or may not make sense to you depending on your personality and/or your idea of community. You might like or not like the advice depending on the context and/or who is saying it to you.

There are variables.

As best I can figure, and I’m sure you will tell me if I am wrong, the advice is saying that in order to not second-guess yourself, which is a positive thing, you have to not care about what other people think about you and your choices.

There’s a truth to that.

Don’t give your power away to just anyone or anything.

But how you use your own power seems to divide people in a philosophical way that reveals how you think about the people around you and any influence they may, or may not, have on you.

Anyhoo the issue, simplified, comes down to how the advice resonates with you:

• Do you, like Amanda, find this advice inspiring because by denying you have an audience you’re free from judgment and this allows you to do what you want to do unhindered? You are alone.

OR

• Do you find this advice unrealistic because to think no one is watching you is delusional, but in spite of that by ignoring what the audience suggests you are productive? You are indifferent.

Thoughts, anyone?

My Summer Blogging Schedule 

image via pagesbyleanne

LIGHT is my guiding word this year.

Thus in order to allow more light into my life, The Spectacled Bean will be on SPRING/SUMMER HOURS until further notice.

I’ll post here every couple of weeks, reply to comments, and check-in with you on your blogs every so often because I try to keep up with you, my bloggy friends.

Take it easy, everyone. Let the light shine on you.

Do good. Play nice. Be happy.

• • 😎 • •

Because You Asked: Threads Is, Among Other Things, A Conundrum

/ Ally Bean / 224 Comments

• • •

Boom! Yep, that’s my number.

• • •

WHY ARE YOU ON THREADS, THEY ASK

A few people irl and online have asked me about my experiences on Threads so I’ll answer here. In case you’re unfamiliar with it, Threads is Facebook/Meta’s version of Twitter/X.

I was there on Day One clocking in at 20,708,590 out of over 100 million people who joined worldwide on that day, July 6, 2023. Find me on Threads by clicking HERE.

And yes I know many friends and gentle readers think I’m loony, question my sanity, to have even joined in a new social media… but hear me out. I have my reasons.

I’m a curious person, a social scientist at heart, who saw an opportunity to be part of a social media from the beginning. Even though I’ve been on many social media over the decades* I’ve never had this option before so I jumped in.

Also, not to put too fine a point on it, I’m on Threads so you don’t have to be. Yes, I’m living the experience for all of us here in this little corner of blogland. You may thank me in the comments below!

• • •

Social media active users indicating the most popular places to be †

• • •

WHO IS THERE WITH YOU ON THREADS, THEY WONDER

This, of course, is a good question that I’ll field by first saying the following brief summary: a bunch of nice enough people**.

Then I’ll break down some specifics because that is what I believe people want to know. For me, after 7 months of checking in every few days and posting something when I am there as well as leaving wordy comments for others, I have a whopping 281 followers.

✅ One follower I know in real life.

✅ Six followers are current bloggers who like me are attempting to utilize Threads by showing up every so often and joining in. Click on the name to go to their Threads account, on their blog name to visit their blog:

✅ Some of my followers are current bloggers who are there in name only. OR, in a total surprise, a few former bloggers I knew a decade ago showed up, one even saying: “so you’re still here.” I do not know how to take that.

✅ Many, maybe most, of my followers are people who I’ve connected with on Instagram.

✅ I also have followers who are new-to-me and THAT makes me happy, giving me some hope for Threads.

• • •

Information is my love language, but I my not be the norm †

• • •

What Is The Purpose of Threads As You See It, They Inquire

Yes, again a good question that I will succinctly answer with my take and then add a famous quote that summarizes lyrically how I think about Threads.

My Take – Threads serves no discernible purpose beyond being a pleasant pretty distraction.

A Famous Quote – From John Lennon’s song Nobody Told Me: “There’s always something cooking and nothing in the pot.” 

• • •

On Twitter by creating my own personal lists as seen here I was able to keep track of people, something I cannot do on Threads.

• • •

And Finally Why Is Threads A Conundrum, Please Explain

I have three reasons why I believe Threads is a conundrum, a word that can mean a riddle, or a puzzle, or a poser even.

1) The thing about Threads is there is no center to it to draw people to a communal “What’s Happening” section or a Writing Prompt or a Weekly Topical Challenge. It’s all random all the time.

Hence, a riddle.

2) When you show up and look at your “Following” tab the algorithm shows you who it wants you to see and because, unlike Twitter, Threads doesn’t allow you create lists of who you follow, you cannot efficiently follow anyone. Thus the algorithm impedes connections.

Hence, a puzzle.

3) Threads is the only social media wherein I’ve seen so many people, so often, not reply even with a LIKE, to wordy comments left for them. Is Threads not notifying them that someone paid attention to them? That’s the only kind explanation*** I can think of which makes me question if Threads is really meant to be a viable social media at all.

Hence, a poser. 

~ THE END ~

* Since the late 1990s I’ve been involved in Geocities, Myspace, Facebook, Pinterest, Flickr, Twitter, 43 Things, Tumblr, Mastodon, and now Threads. I’ve seen things, kids… oh yes I have. 😣

** The only sort of rude behavior I’ve encountered was a man who tried to start a fight with me because I said something to the effect of, and try not to be offended, that adults should behave like grown-ups when interacting with other adults rather than behaving like they were in a child/adult relationship. He took umbrage with that idea… perhaps forever wanting to be a child? 🤷‍♀️

*** A less kind explanation would be that I’m not wanted so I’ve been intentionally ignored in the hope that I’ll go away. Which could happen. 🤔

† Source: “As Facebook turns 20, politics is out; impersonal video feeds are in” via The Economist [probably not behind a paywall, but I can’t tell for sure]