Positivity Got You Down? Let Me Suggest Something

October 3, 2023October 3, 2023 / Ally Bean / 273 Comments

Not everyone grooves on uplifting thoughts all the time.

I understand this.

In fact when I was in college there were no Gratitude Journals, that wasn’t a thing like it is today.

Instead we kept what we called Bitch Books. They were nothing special to look at, just spiral notebooks with a theme, however it sounded better to refer to them as Bitch Books.

So we did.

To clarify, we called them this not because we thought of ourselves as bitches, even if we might have been, but because we needed a place to write about our issues, all the wrongs that we felt we’d suffered.

Oy vey!

Granted we also discussed our issues in lengthy conversations with a few people who would now be called your negativity friends [HERE], but often there were hurts that could only be expressed adequately, with the proper amount of collegiate drama, by writing about them ad nauseam in our Bitch Books.

We hid our books from our nosy roommates and unenlightened boyfriends because they could never know what we were really thinking. Heaven forbid there’d be open authentic communication.

We knew that our profs would never see the crap we’d written about them, so many pages of my book were filled with deets of professorial incompetence, stupidity, and hypocrisy. No surprise, huh?

I’d not thought about Bitch Books in decades, and probably wouldn’t have thought about them again, if it weren’t for an advertisement that shows up, unsolicited, on my Instagram feed*.

This intrusive ad confirms that everything old is new again. To wit, let me share a link to today’s version of a Bitch Book.

It’s stylish, something that’s now called a Grievance Journal [HERE], described by Boardwalk Gifts, the purveyor of it, as a “the perfect repository for all your existential angst and daily gripes!”

Which no doubt it is.

And here’s the dealio, which is really where I’m going with this post. For a mere $28.00 you, my ~~little bitches~~ gentle readers, can purchase your very own Grievance Journal in which you, if you feel the need, can write about all the crap that happens to you.

OR, and this is just a thought, you could replicate what we did back in the day and write your angsty unhappiness in an 1 Subject College Ruled Spiral Notebook [HERE] currently available for $3.39 at Target.

It’s your money and your life, of course.

Obviously I don’t know how much bitching you need to do, so please, I encourage you, do what you feel suits you best.

* I’m on Instagram as thespectacledbean [HERE]

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever heard of an old-school Bitch Book or a new-fangled Grievance Journal?

Have you written one? Why or why not?

Did you once have, or do you now have, negativity friends?

• 💚 •

The One About Phonies And Alter Egos And Solving Problems, Maybe

May 23, 2023 / Ally Bean / 241 Comments

I AM A REALIST. I am who I am regardless of where I am.

As such, being a naturally inquisitive person, I find people who are phonies, that is people who pretend to be someone they’re not, endlessly interesting.

Thought-provoking, in fact.

[E.g., Elizabeth Holmes or George Santos or Rachel Dolezal.]

They are my opposites and tweak my curiosity about the line between reality and fantasy, between harmless daydreaming and unhealthy delusion.

Allow me to explain.

Thinking back over my years of blogging I’m reminded of one blogger in particular who wrote her blog as if she wasn’t who she was. This wasn’t flash fiction nor was it catfishing, mind you, but saying upfront this is a fantasy of who I wish I was, a different personality, so I’ll write all my posts as this alternate version of me.

She lived in a small midwestern town but pretended she was living in a large southern city. She thought of herself as a resident of that large city and she’d describe her days doing the same things she did now [working, shopping, dining] AS IF she lived there.

The thing was that for me after reading her posts I couldn’t decide if this phony persona was just kind of a fun thing, a light-hearted goof; OR if there was something seriously wrong in her life that prompted her to become someone else, albeit briefly.

In truth I was never sure how to comment on what she wrote, so I politely wandered away from her blog and I cannot even tell you if she’s still around.

I doubt it, though.

• • •

SO WHY AM I talking about this topic today?

Not because I idealize or hold any animosity toward this former blogger, but because of something I read a few months ago and have pondered on since. This something got me thinking and wondering– and reminded me of her.

Believe it or not.

What I read was advice written by someone who claimed to be a mental health therapist. This seemingly legit advice was about how to solve what may appear to you to be an intractable problem.

The advice suggested that you create an alter ego of yourself [not a super hero] that you use to contemplate your problem; an alter ego was defined simply as a different version of you. The advice said that by mentally running the details of your problem through your mind as your alter ego, you’d gain clarity.

Now I have problems, who doesn’t? And I do try to solve them, but never have I ever thought about creating an alter ego of myself, for any reason. I may be too pragmatic, or unimaginative, for such.

Or snarky. Perhaps I’m too snarky.

But I digress.

So tell me, kids, does the idea of creating an alter ego of yourself, something I’d describe as a phony version of yourself, seem like a way to gain real insight into your problems? Have you ever done this? And if so, how’d it go for you?

I’m curious to know what you think about this approach to solving problems. Do you feel it is sound or is it wackadoodle?

Please discuss below.

The End Of The World? I Asked ChatGPT To Tell Me A Story (And I Feel Fine)

April 18, 2023May 5, 2025 / Ally Bean / 263 Comments

INTRODUCTION

Pride goeth before the fall, as my mother used to say.

To see what would happen I asked ChatGPT to tell me a story about a starfish, a kohlrabi, and a dragon. It did so quickly crafting a 338 word story. Then I went to pixabay to look for suitable free photos/images to enhance the story.

This little adventure in putting together a blog post took me [maybe] 15 minutes. In truth I spent most of that time searching through pixabay pictures and not waiting for AI to compose a story.

Admittedly as someone who writes a personal blog I’ve always known that I was optional, but I do take pride in doing my best here. Nonetheless with ChatGPT and its ilk creating good stories, maybe even better ones than what I write, I wonder if my optionality is just the first step to insignificance.

However, be that as it may or may not be, I invite you to read the following story and decide for yourself if there’s anything for me, for any blogger, for any writer, to worry about.

THE TALE OF THE OCEAN HEROES

Once upon a time, in a mythical land, there lived a starfish named Stella. Stella was a special starfish as she had the power to talk and communicate with other creatures in the sea. She loved to explore and make new friends.

Stella the starfish

One day, while she was exploring the seabed, she stumbled upon a strange-looking vegetable called kohlrabi. It was not something she had seen before, and she was curious to know more about it. Suddenly, she heard a loud roar, and when she looked up, she saw a dragon flying above her.

The dragon was not like any other dragon. It was small and cute, and its scales were a mix of pink and purple. The dragon landed on the seabed and introduced herself as Daisy. Stella and Daisy became instant friends and decided to explore the sea together.

Daisy the dragon

As they were swimming, they saw a group of fish swimming frantically, and they decided to investigate. The fish were caught in a fishing net, and they needed help. Stella and Daisy knew they had to act fast. They called out to all the sea creatures nearby, including kohlrabi, to help them rescue the fish.

With the kohlrabi’s sharp edges, they cut the fishing net and freed the fish. The sea creatures cheered, and they became friends. Stella, Daisy, and the kohlrabi decided to form a team to help other sea creatures in need. They called themselves “The Ocean Heroes.”

the kohlrabi

From that day on, Stella the starfish, Daisy the dragon, and the kohlrabi went on many adventures together, helping other sea creatures in need. They even helped a lost turtle find its way back home. The Ocean Heroes became well known and loved in the sea, and their friendship and courage inspired many other sea creatures.

And so, Stella the starfish, Daisy the dragon, and the kohlrabi formed an unbreakable bond of friendship, proving that no matter how different we may seem, we can achieve great things when we work together.

MY OPINION & REVIEW OF THE STORY

As you can see ChatGPT wrote a sweet short story. It made me smile and gave me all the warm feels. I suspect that was the point. Even as an adult I recognize that I want to be Stella the starfish. She’s curious, friendly, proactive, and courageous.

A definite role model.

And Daisy the dragon? Beyond being cute she’s a confident bff who helps solve problems. I like her, too.

My only qualm with this story is why didn’t ChatGPT give the kohlrabi a name, like Kenneth the kohlrabi? That seems short-sighted to me.

It’s as if ChatGPT is lacking in understanding about human relationships, unaware that humans tend to name every *person* in a story so that humans might more easily intuitively grasp the message of the story.

But then, what do I know?

I’m just a human.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

What do you think of the story? Do you want to be Stella the starfish when you grow up?

Could you write a better story? And if so, how long would it take you to write and edit it? Then create artwork for it?

Are you concerned about Artificial Intelligence creeping into the world of writers and displacing humans?

• + • + •

Pondering A Quandary: Is The Goal Of Setting Goals A Good Goal?

March 21, 2023March 21, 2023 / Ally Bean / 243 Comments

from Gretchen Rubin

Welcome to my quandary of the month.

I took Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies Quiz [HERE] to learn what my personality tendency is. I am a QUESTIONER.

As much as I enjoy irony and want to say I question that result, I don’t. It sounds right to me. And it explains, at least to me, why lately I’ve been having a difficult time deciding what to write about here.

Does this happen to you, too?

It’s not like I’m not writing, totally bereft of words, wondering where Muse is hiding. Nope, I’m writing oodles but I’m never satisfied with what I write. I have an idea, write a post, edit it into perfection, then question whether I want, or need, to talk about whatever I wrote.

Thus I delete many a post and try writing another one, hoping I’ll stumble on a different idea or point of view that seems worthy of publishing here.

Blogging has become one big old game of Ally Try Again.

And the thing is that after all these years of writing a personal blog my hesitation seems odd to me. I’m a free spirit [read my tagline] so wouldn’t it follow that I should just know | intuit | reason what to write about?

In the past that’s been the case.

However lately, much to my consternation, I’ve been floundering confounded by a strange tension in my mind about what to do next. And I don’t like feeling like this, it doesn’t seem like proactive me, yet here we are.

from Witchy Moms

So in an attempt to make sense of my behavior I decided to explore the concept of setting goals. Perhaps I need some? Could that be my issue?

I do tend to fly by the seat of my pants here.

Have you noticed?

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary a GOAL is: “the end toward which effort is directed : AIM.” Going a bit further, the dictionary suggests synonyms include but are not limited to: objective, intent, purpose.

In addition to the basic dictionary definition there’s always that business dude, Peter Drucker, and his old chestnut S.M.A.R.T. This acronym stands for: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time bound.

It’s trite, but utilizing it could help me reverse my recent descent into indecision, I guess.

The thing is that the goals I’m contemplating, ones that’d resonate with me, wouldn’t be based on numbers because that’d be silly. I don’t need to focus on word count or publishing deadlines or reader engagement stats to feel like I have it going on here.

Instead I’m thinking about goals based on a personal sense of purpose. Something like a manifesto, but not so intense. It’d be a declaration of my raison d’être stated in the simplest way possible, perhaps embodied in a few NUDGE WORDS, maybe from the Growth or Adventure categories as explained HERE?

My mythical set of goals would be something I could use as motivation, a kind of thesis statement meant to keep me on the right track so that I’d not waste time pussyfooting around in my mind trying to decide what to write about.

Or maybe I’m overthinking this? That’s a possibility too. Following that line of reasoning I have to wonder if I should get over myself and simply show up, then write something, anything even.

Perhaps THAT is the goal after all– and I already know it.

Thoughts, anyone?