A Study In Arrogance: When Coleus Becomes Political

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Trying to rid myself of the RNC’s frenetic vibes this week, I turned my attention to doing something productive.

I researched COLEUS.

I wanted to find out the names of the three varieties that are growing profusely in pots on our deck.

At the beginning of the summer I planted six different types of coleus in pots, but three died within weeks of planting.  So I thought that next year I’d plant more of the ones that grew, if I could figure out/remember the name of each type.

But, of course, in the process of my research I found more information about coleus than I’d anticipated.  Coleus has a long history.

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For instance, did you know:

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DSCN7638But my research, inspired by a desire to rise above politics, ended when I discovered the most ridiculously depressing fact about coleus.  You see, in the language of flowers coleus means: “How dare you address me that way?!”

That is, the plant means ARROGANCE.

And it was upon learning this that I found myself circling back to my thoughts about the Tangerine Tornado + the Nattering Nabobs of Negativity.  I couldn’t believe that I was researching a plant whose meaning embodied all that The Donald represents, when my goal was to avoid thinking or hearing on the news about his nonsense.

DSCN7639Yet here I was doing something good, trying to make the world a better place through learning, only to find myself tripped up by arrogance.

Now how defeating, and oddly metaphorical, is that?

A Look At Archetypes: Who Are Your Friends?

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Laverne & Shirley: Back in the day one friend was all you needed! { Source }

This is something fun to think about.

I was listening to Sorta Awesome, a podcast I enjoy.  The conversation topic of Episode 54 was how every woman needs a variety of friends in her life because each friend serves a different, but necessary, role in your life.

They were talking about archetypes, not specific names of people. This wasn’t gossip.

As the show went on I started thinking about who I need in my life. The women on the program believed they needed 10 friends, but I decided that at this point in my life I need 5 friends.

Call me a minimalist.  Or an introvert.

Below you’ll find my list of the five friends who I need to keep me grateful, connected, grounded, hopeful, and happy.

[A digression.  Yesterday in The Guardian I read an article: “Why don’t I have any friends?”

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The Biographer is the friend who knows all the nuances + details of your life, meaning that any problem you take to her needs no background story because she knows it, she knows you, and she knows what you need to do.

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The Oprah Fan is the friend who knows what’s on-trend, whether it be spiritual or sartorial, funny or frowned-upon, healthy or home-y, and she is willing to share her knowledge so you’ll be on-trend, too.

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The Loyal Opposition is the friend who, like you, pays attention to the events in the world, but often comes to a different conclusion about what’s going on and why it is happening.

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The Cheerleader is the friend who is on your side, without any need for you to explain or justify, in-depth, what you are up to;  she’s your own personal pep squad.

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The Snarkologist is the friend who makes me laugh out loud because she is unfiltered, truthful, and willing to skewer, in a most wonderful way, anything or anyone who deserves to be taken down a peg.

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How about you, my gentle readers?  Who are your friends?

Links I Love: Use Your Words

… because information is FASCINATING & FUN dammit.

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  • BE COOL ON FLEEK AGAIN.

Learn the latest slang, and feel old because you don’t know it, here.

  • HELP SAVE THE WORDS!

Become aware of some perfectly good English words, destined for extinction, here.

  • MEMORIZE THEM ALL.

Review some of Nancy Drew’s most delightfully cutting quotes here.

  • THEORETICALLY ABSURDLY FASCINATING.

Ruminate on the Snunkoople Effect, a made-up Seussian-style word for a mathematical explanation of why something is funny, here.

  • SNARK MUCH?

Find out how to express yourself like a true-born and bred Southerner here.

  • WE’LL NOT SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN.

Remind yourself about the Noodle Incident, and how much you loved Calvin and Hobbes, here.

  • JUST BECAUSE YOU NEED TO KNOW.

Determine which character you are in Downton Abbey here 

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Married Life: Of Wordplay And Lettuce

In case you were thinking I was just another blogging floozy, let me share with you, my gentle readers, the following conversation in which my wordsmith-y skills came in pretty darned handy.  Score one point for Team Wife.

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HUSBAND, aka chubby hubby, getting up off sofa, declaring loudly on his way to bed: BE A SHARK, NEVER STOP MOVING.

ME, laughing: You look nothing like a shark.  There’s no sharkness about you.  I think you should say…

HUSBAND, trying to look stern: DON’T YOU DARE SAY IT.

ME, coyly: Say what?

HUSBAND, grumpy: Beached whale.  Don’t tell me I look like a BEACHED WHALE.  Or Santa Claus.

ME, sincerely: That’s not what I was going to say.  You don’t look anything like Santa, you don’t have a white beard… yet.

HUSBAND, irritated, but curious: What were you going to say?

ME, smiling: I was going to say: BE A MANATEE, NEVER STOP GROOVING.

HUSBAND, sighing: Huh?  I don’t want to be a manatee.

ME, cheerful: Why?  They’re cute.  And groovy.

HUSBAND, defeated: Because all they eat is lettuce.  I DON’T WANNA ALWAYS EAT LETTUCE.  Forever.

ME, attempting to be empathetic but failing miserably due to a fit of giggles: Yes, I can see that’s true already.

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Our conversation, more or less about lettuce, reminded me of this, my favorite Simpsons quote, which seems like the perfect way to end this rather ridiculous blog post about, of all things, lettuce.