Married Life: Of Wordplay And Lettuce

In case you were thinking I was just another blogging floozy, let me share with you, my gentle readers, the following conversation in which my wordsmith-y skills came in pretty darned handy.  Score one point for Team Wife.

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HUSBAND, aka chubby hubby, getting up off sofa, declaring loudly on his way to bed: BE A SHARK, NEVER STOP MOVING.

ME, laughing: You look nothing like a shark.  There’s no sharkness about you.  I think you should say…

HUSBAND, trying to look stern: DON’T YOU DARE SAY IT.

ME, coyly: Say what?

HUSBAND, grumpy: Beached whale.  Don’t tell me I look like a BEACHED WHALE.  Or Santa Claus.

ME, sincerely: That’s not what I was going to say.  You don’t look anything like Santa, you don’t have a white beard… yet.

HUSBAND, irritated, but curious: What were you going to say?

ME, smiling: I was going to say: BE A MANATEE, NEVER STOP GROOVING.

HUSBAND, sighing: Huh?  I don’t want to be a manatee.

ME, cheerful: Why?  They’re cute.  And groovy.

HUSBAND, defeated: Because all they eat is lettuce.  I DON’T WANNA ALWAYS EAT LETTUCE.  Forever.

ME, attempting to be empathetic but failing miserably due to a fit of giggles: Yes, I can see that’s true already.

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Our conversation, more or less about lettuce, reminded me of this, my favorite Simpsons quote, which seems like the perfect way to end this rather ridiculous blog post about, of all things, lettuce.

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Ally Bean

Observant. Creative. Humorous. Adaptable. Happy enough. Looking for the crumb of truth in the cookie of life.

23 thoughts on “Married Life: Of Wordplay And Lettuce”

  1. Your conversations are always so different…….in a good way! You go together like two peas in a pod:) And by the way, I love the snow coming down on your blog!

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  2. “BE A MANATEE, NEVER STOP GROOVING.”—Should be a new slogan for sure! Loved the video clip. No wonder my kids won’t eat salad. They must’ve seen that Simpson’s episode.

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    1. Carrie, yes, yes, yes! Manatees are groovy, but Z-D sure didn’t seem to think so– fixated as he was on their diet of lettuce. Honestly, sometimes it seems that my zany sense of humor is lost on him!

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    1. Margaret, I’m sorry those conversations have been taken away from you. They are part and parcel of my life, our life together. This conversation was no weirder than the rest, but seemed insightful/interesting in its own wacky way… so I shared it here.

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    1. Zen-Den, I think what you’re trying to say is: Bon Hiver which is French for Good Winter, or something like that. Is it snowing where you are? Are you trying to deflect the conversation away from manatees, cuteness of said? Hmmm?

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