THERE IS A PLACE BETWEEN TRASH AND TREASURE WHEREIN ONE CAN FIND STUFF
STUFF being defined as interesting things, unique things, obscure things that are worthy of conversation but not much more.
In this case the STUFF is from a box I inherited that contains my grandmother’s handwritten cookbook, a couple of printed cookbooks, and other bits of information about food and drink.
Thus I give you Think & Do.
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THINK & DO
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Frankfurter Roast with Prune Stuffing is from 100 Selected DRIED FRUIT RECIPES chosen by 100,000 HOMEMAKERS at GOLDEN GATE INTERNATIONAL EXPOSITION, published by CALIFORNIA DRIED FRUIT RESEARCH INSTITUTE, 1939
Cottage Cheese Salad Dressing is from THIS IS MY BOOK OF MAGIC RECIPES by The Borden Company, 1942
Chicken [or Ham or Salmon or Tuna] Mousse is from Joys of Jell-O by GENERAL FOODS CORPORATION, 1963
1. Find two puzzles with the same number of pieces that were cut using the same machine. Just because two puzzles are from the same company and have the same number of pieces doesn’t mean they have the same shape pieces. Lesson learned hard way on this point.
2. Put together one of the puzzles then put together the other puzzle beside the first puzzle. Stare at the puzzles until your eyes cross you see an interesting way to mix the images in each puzzle. This takes imagination, but you can do it; time is your friend.
3. Carefully begin the process of extracting the pieces that form one image in the first puzzle, setting these pieces aside on a flat surface like a baking sheet, then extract the same area from the second puzzle. This requires patience and a steady hand.
4.Put pieces from the first puzzle into the empty space created in the second puzzle. Continue this mixing of the pieces until you’ve created your own unique puzzle that makes you smile. If you’re not smiling at this point you’re doing this wrong.
5. Photograph your masterpieces, pat yourself on the back, then deconstruct your puzzles, keeping track of which pieces belong in each box. Congratulations, you’re officially a jigsaw puzzle artist nonpareil.
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Your turn. Whatcha been doing for snorts & giggles? What else should we be doing with all this free time? Please share your ideas in the comments below.
It’s probably not nice to torment a friend who happens to groove on numbers, but you know what? I’m not always nice.
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I WAS TALKING WITH a longtime friend about a cocktail called The Pink Drink. Years ago I found the recipe in a magazine and over time we’ve modified the recipe to please us.
It’s one of those simple three-ingredient “trio” cocktails that when made ahead and stashed in the freezer for a few hours, can be slushy or just darned cold. The viscosity of it varies depending on how much alcohol you put it in when you make the drink.
If you want it slushy [our preference] use less alcohol. If you want it just darned cold [original recipe] use lots of alcohol.
Both are good. The choice is yours.
It is that simple.
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HOWEVER MY FRIEND, a numbers freak who prefers all things quantified, is one to want precise measurements for any recipe. She snorted derisively when I told her the recipe for The Pink Drink is more conceptual than measurable.
Friend wasn’t happy with that explanation. She wanted specific details, demanding that I tell her how I make this drink.
So I did. But being the creative ornery wordsmith that I am, my explanation about how I make the drink sounded more like my philosophy on how to live my life than an actual recipe. I said:
“For me it’s all about the good taste, not the buzz.”
Friend was not amused, but I was.
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THE PINK DRINK
pink grapefruit juice
measure the above ingredients relying on any proportions that make sense to you.
[original recipe was 30-30-30 one-third each ingredient, but we go for 60-30-10 now]
introduce ingredients inside a pitcher. encourage them to mix it up. place pitcher in freezer for a few hours, allowing them to chill together.
serve drink up in a martini glass with a twist of orange, if’n that’s something you like to do. or serve in a highball glass over ice.
[remember this is a concept, think of it as improv, not a precisely-scripted Tennessee Williams play, ‘k?]
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QUESTIONS OF THE DAY
Are you always nice? Or do you stray into ornery on occasion?
I’m checking in here to see how everyone is doing.
I don’t have anything in particular that I need to tell you, my gentle readers.
Sure, I could go on about my understanding of the novel coronavirus and how much of this mayhem could have been avoided if sensible preventive measures had been taken earlier, but to what end? It has been discussed ad nauseam, so why be redundant?
Nope, all I have to add to the blogosphere today is two pithy little images that summarize my current approach to living healthy in these difficult times.
The first image, that I created all by myself, is something that floated into my mind over the weekend; I’ve no specific source for the saying. My guess is that when I was a wee little bean I learned it in Presbyterian Sunday School wherein the emphasis on cleanliness was up there on a par with all things Biblical.
The second image is one that I found recently in one of the more enlightened corners of social media. I’d suggest that Newton’s example puts a bit of perspective on the realities of our daily lives now. Given all this free time it’s the perfect opportunity to follow your curiosity about something that you’ve always been meaning to learn about.
And with that I shall hit publish on this post, wishing y’all germ-free days and thought-filled nights. Stay safe.
I met an acquaintance for lunch. She’d texted me the afternoon before we had lunch to arrange where she suddenly wanted to go to lunch.
Nowhere convenient, I’ll tell ‘ya that.
However, I happily rearranged my schedule to accommodate her whim preference, but that fact seemed to escape her notice as we sat there eating and talking.
Nope, she was on a rant about all that is wrong in the world; and she needed me to know that in her opinion I was too happy when discussing the wrongs in the world.
My equanimity seemed to bring out the demons in her.
She was perturbed with me because I wasn’t in the depths of despair over The Donald’s latest bull sh!t move of telling people to go to work when they’re sick.
[How stupid &/or senile is that man?]
Nor was I despondent enough over Elizabeth Warren, the competent presidential candidate who the news outlets marginalized, dropping out of the race.
[How sad is it that our country is so backward when it comes to electing leaders?]
Nor was I gnashing my teeth over the gloomy grayness that has been the subtext of our winter weather here.
[How soon will spring get here?]
Yep, she was peeved with me, but she’s what I’d call an Eeyore, a bit on the gloomy side. Always. Which means, of course, that my Pooh-like demeanor rankles her.
I do like her if only because she reminds me that someone else’s opinion of you need not define you. And that by talking with a variety of personality types you can, if you are open to it, learn a few things.
Like for instance, you can learn that the word ‘happy’ can have a negative connotation. Who knew, huh?
BACK WHEN I FIRST STARTED writing a blog I read a blog [whose name I do not remember] written by a woman named Karen [I think].
She was hilarious and outrageous, posting every stinking day about her small-town life. Her writing was wordy and it was perfect. No grammar or spelling mistakes, ever.
I was in awe of her.
She had a huge following. They were as outrageous as she was which made reading the comments a hoot. I was more reserved back then, so I didn’t jump into her comment section like I would today.
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IN RETROSPECT THE MOST INTERESTING thing about her comment section was that the commenters created nicknames for themselves. This was ostensibly to distinguish one from another, when more than one person had the same first name spelled the same way.
For instance [making up examples here] there’d be “Cathy from California” who wasn’t to be confused with “Cathy who hates gerbils” who most clearly was not “Cathy the Cookie.”
It was all inside jokes and seemed harmless. Rather fun, crazy awesome, even.
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HOW THE HECK DID I get thinking about a blog from 15 years ago?
The other day I sat down to answer my comments here. I had three comments in a row from women with the same first name who spelled it the same way. Then I had two comments in a row from women with the same first name who spelled it the same way.
Suddenly, thinking back to the blogger from years ago, I was curious about how many people with the same first name spelled the same way leave comments here on a regular basis.
I had no idea, so I did a little behind the scenes research.
I was surprised by what I learned and I’m betting that you, my gentle readers, won’t guess which first name spelled the same way is the most popular one among my commenters, but give it a go. Here’s the poll question.
Also, out of curiosity, have you ever seen a blogger with commenters who have created specific nicknames to use only when commenting on that blog? Is/was this a thing? Or is this something as unique as I think it was?
In honor of this I’ve written a list of pig phrases seen immediately below plus I’ve provided an explanation at the end of the post as to why I‘ve written this list.
[You know you’re wondering why.]
Please enjoy this list, but I beg of you, do not let this plethora of piggy-ness and phraseology overwhelm you with its profundity.
A LIST OF 28 PIG PHRASES
Please the pigs means if circumstances permit
Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered means don’t get greedy or whatever you have will be taken away from you
As short as a pig’s kick means not very good [Spanish insult]
Even a blind pig will occasionally find an acorn means even the least competent person will have something useful to contribute once in a while
To go to pigs and whistles means to go to ruin
Happier than a dead pig in sunshine means thrilled [Southern saying]
It’s as plain as a pig on a sofa means very obvious
Looked like a pig on ice means clumsy
He follows me around like an Antony pig means someone who mindlessly follows someone else [old English term referencing a Roman Catholic saint]
Don’t go crossing the pig tracks means don’t behave in an unseemly way
Feed a pig and you’ll have a hog means beware of encouraging a greedy person who’ll become dependent on you
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig means some people are too closed-minded to bother talking with [maybe said by Mark Twain]
Driving his pigs to market means snoring
Only a pig depends on the favors of swine means only a sneaky person will depend on the handouts of the disreputable
When pigs fly means it’ll never happen [English proverb from 1600s]
To get the wrong pig by the tail means to make a mistake
To bring one’s pigs to a fine market means to do well for yourself
Young pigs grunt as loud as old pigs grunted before them means same as it ever was [Danish proverb]
Like a pig to truffles means being able to go directly to the best of anything
Sometimes the rotten pig gets the apple means life isn’t always fair
Wears like a pig’s nose means durable [slogan from 1885 advertisement for overalls]
As happy as a pig in mud means contented with things as they are in this moment
I haven’t had this much fun since the pigs ate my brother means I’m having a good time
Don’t buy a pig in a poke means don’t make a deal without confirming the details
Sweating like a pig means to be so physically hot that beads of visible sweat form on you [not a reference to the farm animal, it’s about smelting iron]
Like putting lipstick on a pig means attempting to make something appear better than it is
Hollering like a stuck pig means a person who complains like they’re in pain to get attention
Neither give cherries to pigs nor advice to fools means your good intentions and truthfulness will be misunderstood by people who aren’t that intellectually bright [Irish proverb]
Addendum: More Pig Phrases Courtesy Of My Wonderful Commenters
What’s time to a pig means not to worry about something, it doesn’t really matter [from Dan at No Facilities]
Like pigs feeding at the trough means a greedy person, often a politician, getting more than his fair share [from Susan at Garden of Eden Blog]
Pig Latin means a made-up silly language in which the first syllable of an English word is removed from the beginning of the word and tacked onto the end of the word [from shoreacres at The Task at Hand]
In a pig’s eye means disbelief [from Deborah at temenos]
Piggy back means literally to carry someone on your back or in a figurative sense to add something to something that already exists [from Erica/Erika at Behind the Scenery]
Never wrestle with a pig; you just get muddy and the pig enjoys it means don’t bother trying to reason with someone who’s determined to be unreasonable [from Eilene at Myricopia]
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And why, you may be asking yourself, does Ms. Bean know all these pig phrases?
GLAD YOU ASKED.
It’s because in the winter of ’98 [yes, that’d be 1998] I planned on creating a website to see if I could figure out how to do that. I never got the chance to make the website, but I compiled this list in anticipation of doing so. The website was going to be about pig phrases.
[Once a wordy girl, always a wordy girl.]
Last weekend, in a serendipitous moment while sorting through some paper files in my desk drawer, I found this list of pig phrases and thought, considering the research was all done, why not make a blog post of it.