My 2015: The Year Of The Recluse

January 15, 2015May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 26 Comments

Looking at the calendar today it occurs to me that I have been remiss in not sharing with you, my gentle readers, my ~~resolutions~~ ~~revolutions~~ ~~one word~~ ~~goals~~ ~~dreams~~ ~~aspirations~~ ~~vague ideas~~ simple plan for the new year, 2015.

Clearly I need to get more scoot in my get-along.

[The preceding phrase is one that I don’t normally use, but I heard a football color commentator use it when talking about some player doing something, so I decided to add it to my folksy phrases repertoire.]

[Yes, I have an actual list of folksy phrases that I started about 10 years ago. I recently rediscovered it when I took it upon myself to sort through the stuff in my desk. Trust me, I will be referring to said list often now that I have found it.]

So here is what I’ve decided that this year will be all about for me. I’m going to be a recluse, defined thusly as: “a person who lives a solitary life and tends to avoid other people.”

Not exactly anti-social, but non-social. ‘Ya know?

And sometime throughout the year I might even explain why I’ve come to this decision. But for today all I’m going to say is that I’m comfortable with the idea of spending more time by myself while pursuing my particular interests– like finding & using folksy phrases! 😉

Reviewing The News, Reaching For The Wine

October 24, 2014October 24, 2014 / Ally Bean / 30 Comments

“I am satisfied. Give me a bowl of wine:

I have not that alacrity of spirit,

Nor cheer of mind, that I was wont to have–

So, set it down.– Is ink and paper ready?”

~ William Shakespeare, King Richard III

• • •

USUALLY I’M GOOD AT knowing what I’m thinking and feeling about things. Clarity of thought. Sense of purpose. Focus on what matters now.

Me. Most of the time.

But the news of these last few weeks has worn me down. Made me wonder about humanity. Made me want to stay in my jammies all day, hiding in the back of the closet, playing Candy Crush.

• • •

First we talked about:

Ebola, and the CDC + Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital Dallas‘s half-assed handling of said at a time when everyone in the USA needed them to do things properly.

Then we were inundated with:

Mitch McConnell [or Old Turkey Neck as he’s known in this house], and his daily TV political attack ads against his opponent, a woman with a gun who seems to scare the bejesus out of him.

Followed by:

Gamergate, and the blatant misogynistic attacks on woman associated with it under the guise of fair journalistic practices.

Then all of this took center stage:

Renee Zellweger, and the incessant opining about the reasons why she did what she did + about the results of what she did.

Culminating in:

The Parliament of Canada, and the unforeseen attack on it leading to the world’s newest isn’t-he-amazing hero who saved lives by calmly doing what needed to be done.

• • •

SO MY POINT HERE? After hearing and reading about all the above, I’m tired, emotionally. I’m tired, physically.

I’m just plain tired.

I have to wonder if keeping up with the news is what I need to be doing with my time. While the well-educated rational side of me says “stay informed,” the sensitive empathetic side of me says “ignore.” The cognitive dissonance is beginning to get to me.

Leading me to contemplate how I can do both when the agenda-setting function of the media gives me bad news everywhere that I turn. Except in my closet, of course. Where you may just find me, with my bowl of wine.

Waiting for my alacrity of spirit to return.

In Which Ms. Bean Does Not Give In To Curmudgeonliness

September 30, 2014May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 21 Comments

“Everybody makes their own fun. If you don’t make it yourself, it isn’t fun. It’s entertainment.”

~ David Mamet, State and Main

• • •

I WAS DRIVING BY A HIGH SCHOOL when I noticed that the kid in the car that had just pulled out in front of me, while obeying all appropriate rules of the road, had something written on his back window. So when we got to a stoplight, I made sure that I was behind the car to see what it said.

It said: “Honk. I’m a Senior.”

I didn’t honk. My first thought was that it seemed a tad premature to ask for external validation before you actually accomplish something like– oh, I don’t know— graduate from high school. Earn a college degree or two. Get a job. Buy a house. Fund your 401K.

• • •

BUT THEN AS I DROVE ALONG I had an unexpected change of heart when I realized what an old fogey I’d become. I’m sure that when I was a kid in high school I would have thought that a message like the one on the car was clever + fun.

And it was harmless.

Of course by the time that I came to this conclusion, the kid in the car had turned onto a different road, so my opportunity to honk at him was gone. But I have to thank him for reminding me that everybody needs a bit of moral support from time-to-time, and that asking for it is a good way to make your own fun.

Almost Autumn: This Change Of Season Suits Me

September 8, 2014November 19, 2015 / Ally Bean / 16 Comments

This past Sunday morning was the first day in months where the temperature was below 60ºF and the humidity was low.

Delightful. Refreshing. Clear.

I was able to drink my first mug of coffee while sitting on the deck all by myself. Experiencing the stillness of the early morning centered me in a way that makes me feel whole.

Hopeful. Capable. Calm.

It wasn’t until I looked up into the trees behind our house that I realized how soon it’ll be autumn. And that I wasn’t alone out there on the deck. Two birds, way up high, were keeping me company.

Cheerful. Balanced. Orange.

Autumn is about letting go of what used to work and enjoying what is. I’ve found over the years that I can embrace its message because I’m open to new ideas and seem to have an aptitude for adjusting to what is.

Creative. Grateful. Aware.

Meaning that in about another month this tree, next to where the birds were sitting, will be a showy mess of fall color. And when it is I plan to be engrossed in new projects and a healthier way of life. Hello Autumn!