Animals/Insects

It’s Not A Mystery Why I’m Answering 10 Unique Questions

/ Ally Bean / 165 Comments

Life can sometimes be a mystery.

While it’s true that I enjoy writing stories that entertain and doing research that informs, the reality is that sometimes I don’t have anything going on in my real life that is blogworthy.

And you do realize, my little moonbeams, that I give you only the best, right?

Welp today is one of those times when my life is rolling along smoothly but I can’t think of anything to talk about. So instead of fretting about my lack of blog fodder, I decided to do the following.

See what you think.

I read THIS INTERVIEW with Kelly Hoppen in The Guardian’s Saturday The Q&A column. In this weekly column asks celebrities fun questions.

I perked up when I saw that Kelly Hoppen was an interviewee. About 10 years ago when I was first learning about interior design principles, Hoppen’s books explained many of the concepts to me.

Her words + photos made sense. Not that I’m as enamored of neutrals like she is, but I enjoyed her approach about how to create a cohesive style for your home. That’s what I needed to learn.

Anyhow as I read the interview I thought to myself, I like these questions and will take the juiciest ones to create a snazzy little blog post that is cheery and authentic.

Obviously it’s no mystery why bloggers like questions, they’re an easy way to craft a blog post by replying to someone else’s queries. In fact, should you be in search of something to write about, feel free to answer these questions on your own blog [if you have one] or pick a few to discuss in the comments below.

10 Unique Questions

1 – What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I’m a wimp about making phone calls.

2 – What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Cruelty, whether it be physical or emotional

3 – Describe yourself in three words
I am light-hearted, truthful, and creative. [Also, because describing yourself in five words is better than doing so in three, I am organized and empathetic.]

4 – What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I have rosacea so my face looks red all the time.

5 – What is your most unappealing habit?
Involuntarily rolling my eyes at empty-headed people, especially those talking inflammatory gibberish or wearing face paint in support of a sports team

6 – If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
The passenger pigeon, a species that went extinct in 1913 at the Cincinnati Zoo when Martha, the last one, died

7 – Who is your celebrity crush?
Natasha Lyonne [especially in Poker Face and that’s no bull shit]

8 – Which book are you ashamed not to have read?
While I’ve read Olive Kitteridge, I’ve not read any other books by Elizabeth Strout and I know that many bookish friends are crazy about her writing.

9 – What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
“I’m sorry we don’t sell alcohol on Sundays in this grocery store. This is a dry county, but if you want to buy some beer you can drive 20 minutes from here into the next county over where they sell alcohol on Sunday.”

10 – What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Kindness happens, often when you least expect it, so stay open to the possibility and don’t close your heart to its existence.

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The One About Saying Goodbye To Icky August, Hello To Wonderful September

/ Ally Bean / 221 Comments

Once upon a time we had a cat who was told to not get up on the kitchen table. He did not listen.

May I be honest here? I’m not meant to live in super hot temperatures and this past August we had some super hot days, like ones with a daytime high of 104ºF.

Not. A. Fan.

Despite being inside in air conditioning where you might think I’d ignore my aversion to high temperatures, I did not. I could look through a window and see how hot it was outside. This made me feel tired and irritable, bereft of my usual “alacrity of spirit” as Willy Shakes* would say.

Who can make plans, go on adventures, flourish, when walking to the mailbox zaps what little energy you have managed to gin up for the day?

However last week September arrived bringing with it daytime temps near 80ºF which I find enjoyable, invigorating even.

l feel alive again.

• • •

Of course this pleasant change in temperatures and the subsequent realization of my renewed spirit comes with its own subtext. In the dog days of summer it’s easy to put off making any decisions, too hot to think straight, right?

However with this cooler weather my excuse for not doing much of anything is over. As you can imagine I’m ready to do the things that will entertain and motivate me during my favorite season of the year.

Autumn.

Thus I ask you, my little caramel apples of inspiration, what are you thinking about doing this fall? Do you have specific plans or do you have general guidelines about autumnal activities or are you going to wing it?

I’d love to know what’s up with you regarding the next few [what I believe to be] glorious months. Will you be organized? Will you be boisterous? Will you be rebellious?

Tell all in the comments below.

And this cat whilst on the forbidden kitchen table made a point of deconstructing any bouquet of flowers he found there.

* The full quote is: “So, I am satisfied. Give me a bowl of wine. I have not that alacrity of spirit Nor cheer of mind that I was wont to have.” It is from Richard III – Act 5, scene 3 BUT I am sad to say that unlike Richard III no one brought me a bowl of wine. Good help is soooo difficult to find these days.

You Gotta Laugh: An Unexpected Email From A Former Boss Asking Me A Question

/ Ally Bean / 244 Comments

And then the absurd happened.

I received an email from a former boss, someone I hadn’t heard from in years.

Call me prescient but when I saw her name on the email I instantly flashed back to working for this woman who, while sweet enough, was a flake. She could not, would not, get to a point directly, instead dithering around about what she wanted to say.

Come to find out she has not changed.

• • •

In the first part of her email former boss talked about how she and her husband had retired. They’d moved to another state, built a house on 10+ acres, and were raising farm animals, mostly as pets.

Groovy.

She continued by explaining that she’d thought of me when trying to remember some events that happened decades ago in a bar we’d gone to after work. She wanted to know if I remembered the names of any of the bar shots we drank, specifically the ones made with Baileys Irish Cream.

And of course true to her personality, she didn’t tell me why she wanted to know about these drinks, just that she’d thought of me.

• • •

Now kids I’m sure I won’t shock you when I admit that there have been many alcoholic beverages in my life and while I like to think of myself as a helpful person, on this particular subject I was hampered by time and my indifference to Baileys Irish Cream.

Don’t love it, don’t hate it.

I could only remember two drinks.

One was a NUTTY IRISHMAN [recipe here] made with Baileys + Frangelico. The other was a B-52 [recipe here] made with Baileys + Grand Marnier + Kahlua. So I replied to former boss’s email telling her what I remembered.

• • •

Without any context in her email I’d assumed former boss was having a party and was looking for a signature drink for her event. But that couldn’t have been farther from the truth, something I learned when she emailed back thanking me for my help and further explaining herself.

You see, and let me clue you in that you’ll be surprised to learn, the reason former boss wanted to know about these bar shots is that one of her alpacas, named Bailey, had given birth.

Former boss thought it’d be clever to name the newborn, a girl, after one of those Baileys Irish Cream bar shots we’d enjoyed years ago.

Because of course she did.

• • •

Unforeseen as this email exchange was, there was logic involved, something former boss was not known for when I worked for her. And much to my continued amazement former boss did get back to me saying she liked the name Bea, as in reference to the B-52 bar shots, so she was going with that name.

She also promised to send a photo of Bea as soon as she got around to taking one, which considering this is former boss I figure said picture will arrive many years hence when former boss thinks of me again.

‘Ya know? 

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever had a boss from way back when get in touch with you? If so, why? Were you flattered to be remembered? 

Do you like Baileys Irish Cream? If so, do you like any particular drink made with it?

If you were living on a farm raising animals as pets which animals would you raise?

~ ~ • ~ ~

The One About The Stink Bug Hunter & His Preferred Tools Of The Trade

/ Ally Bean / 286 Comments

Photo via Washington Post

Our May temperatures have been warmer than normal, enticing brown marmorated stink bugs to emerge earlier than usual from their winter digs. While they cause no structural damage to buildings, they are a nuisance.

Kind of creepy to see in my opinion.

We rarely find them inside the house [unlike the roller shade situation earlier this year], but notice them when we sit on our screened-in porch.

One of us [not me] has decided to wage war against them, like the semi-retired suburbanite that he is. While Indiana Jones had his hat & a whip, Zen-Den has his fly swatter & toilet paper.

The fly swatter he uses to slap stink bugs off the screens or walls;  the toilet paper he uses to pick them up and squish them before he flushes them down the toilet. He is on a mission, carrying these items with him whenever he steps onto the porch.

The Stink Bug Hunter’s preferred weapons.

Thus equipped with the items seen in the photo immediately above Zen-Den has become a menace to stink bugs. He stalks them while we sit, ostensibly to relax, on the screened-in porch.

He is ever vigilant.

Hence I’ve learned to put my preferred beverage into a Tervis with a lid so that stink bugs, pursued by my sweet baboo the Stink Bug Hunter don’t land in my drink.

As they are wont to do.

And further, as a long-time married person who sees humor in many things, I’m entertained, enthralled even, by the tenacity of a man who has decided to attempt to reign victorious over stink bugs.

As if that’s going to happen. 🙄

• • •

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

What kind of insect do you dislike the most? When confronted with them do you jump into action like Zen-Den to kill said insect?

Are you, like me, a fan of sitting outside with a beverage at hand? If so, factoring in the time of day, what is your preferred beverage? Do you need to have a lid to put on top of it?

What’s new with you? Got any tales to tell about your life in the merry month of May?

• • 🤔 • •