Do Tell! Answering Your “Why Do I” Questions + A List Of Fun Friday Bloggers

Answering Your “Why Do I” Questions

WHY DO I rarely shop at Walmart?

While you may assume I don’t shop there for some political reason because many people have strong opinions about Walmart, that is not the case.

The mundane reality is that for me to get to one I have to drive by many other grocery stores: 2 Krogers, 1 Fresh Thyme, 1 meijer, 1 ALDI,  1 Target, 1 Costco, and 1 WHOLE FOODS MARKET before I am there.

This drive takes about 20-25 minutes each way if traffic is with me. Therefore, and I’m sure you’ll understand my reasoning, in order to save time, gas, and swear less about idiot drivers, I avoid going to Walmart.

Makes sense, right?

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• WHY DO I keep my blog post photos separate from the photos I share on Instagram? 

I do this because I figure that the people who follow my blog do so for the wordy stories I tell, the wordy information I share, the wordy questions I answer. After all my tagline here is: Tales, Thoughts + Tribulations of a Free Spirit in Suburbia.

Meanwhile on Instagram [find me HERE] I have a different bunch of followers, although there is some overlap. I only publish photos there when one fits my stated tagline, my thesis statement so to speak: Life is in the details. Here’s what I spy with my bifocaled eye. Patterns. Colors. Words.  

Different accounts, different goals, different followers.

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• WHY DO I not write book reviews?

I majored in English Lit in undergrad. I did this because I knew I’d get to study abroad in England. I spent a term at the University of Exeter which means I accomplished my goal.

However, the downside of being an English major was that I had to write book reviews about the books I read. I HATED writing book reviews. Writing them filled me with dread because I didn’t feel like I could trust my own understanding of the book.

Even though I now trust my personal assessment of what I’ve read, I refuse to make the effort to write a book review because it reminds me of my collegiate angst.

So guess what? I don’t.

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A List Of Fun Bloggers Who’ve Made Friday Their Own

What will you do with your one little spark of madness today?

Robin Williams asked that and it might be the best writing prompt ever. It frees you to embrace your own muse by doing your own independent thing, which is what the following bloggers do on Fridays.

Their posts are varied & fun— and I’m there for ’em.

Enjoy!

📌 Friday Fleurday – brought to you by Lynette at In the Net! – Pictures and Stories of Life

📌 Fridays Funnies – brought to you by Linda at Linda Lou’s Life

📌 40 things for Friday – brought to you by Laura at Riddle From The Middle

📌 TGIF – brought to you by Stephany at Stephany WRITES

📌 Happy Things Friday – brought to you by Elisabeth at The Optimistic Musings of a Pessimist

📌 Five for Friday – brought to you by NGS at The Time for Change

📌 Friday Randomness – brought to you by J at Thinking About…

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QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Where do you primarily shop for groceries?

Do you share the same photos in your blog as you put on Instagram? Why or why not?

If you have a blog do you write book reviews? If you’re on Goodreads do you put them there? On Amazon? Other?

Do you, like me, look forward to posts from bloggers who write using a self-created prompt on a specific day of the week?

Any more questions you’d like to ask me? I’ll probably answer them in the comments below.

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Blame It On The Lemon Curd: Musing On The Interconnectedness Of Then & Now

Streetlight on Snowy Day [image created using Waterlogue App]

The Then Part

I DECIDED TO RETURN to writing this personal blog last week while I was making Lemon Curd on a cold snowy day.

No joke

I was using a double boiler, stirring the sugar, egg, butter, and lemon juice that join forces, over heat, to become Lemon Curd. It’s a slow process, that requires nothing more than patience and the ability to keep stirring the ingredients to combine in such a way as to “coat the back of the spoon.”

Standing there at the stove my mind wandered and I remembered who taught me how to make Lemon Curd.

Liz, an acquaintance who’d grown up in Australia, clued me in about how easy and economical it is to make. I met her decades ago when we were citizen volunteers working on a committee to put together a yearlong celebration of our town’s bicentennial.

• 🍋 •

SHE AND I HAD the honor of finding out how much the local country club &/or restaurants would charge for hosting a fundraising that was to be an afternoon tea. We ended up with this assignment because were the only two people on the committee who had been to an afternoon tea in England.

Uh huh

Well, in the process of talking with various establishments we learned that most people in this small town didn’t know what Lemon Curd was. This was something we felt should be at an afternoon tea: me because while studying at the University of Exeter for a term I’d had it at afternoon teas, Liz because it was a normal part of her Australian childhood afternoon teas.

Thus we found ourselves explaining, multiple times, that Lemon Curd isn’t cottage cheese embedded in lemon Jell-O, instead it’s a creamy lemony spread for toast or scones eaten in lieu of raspberry jam or apple butter or grape jelly.

In the end the head chef at the local country club allowed Liz and I into his kitchen so that she could teach him how to make Lemon Curd— which she did. And because of his willingness to learn how to make it the event was held at the country club to rave reviews.

Huzzah!

But most importantly from my point of view, I learned how easy it is to make Lemon Curd. The recipe for which is at the bottom of this post, should you be interested.

The Now Part

YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING, how did this memory prompt me to get back to writing this personal blog?

You see, while stirring the lemon curd, in an unexpected introspective minute, I realized a few things about myself and how this personal blog fits into my current life:

  1. I am grateful and amazed by how lives intertwine and how positive influences can guide you forever.
  2. I am at my best when I’m looking for and acknowledging how interconnected we are, in real life + online.
  3. I am happy and contented when I have a place, like this blog, to share stories + research + insights from my life.
  4. I am peaceful when I let easy things be easy, like writing a blog post about whatever interests me in the moment.

And with that, I’m back to blogging here for a while longer. I’m ready to connect [interconnect?] with gentle readers + kind lurkers and shall do so in this moment by sincerely asking the most obvious question ever asked:

WHAT’S NEW WITH YOU?

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LEMON CURD

1/2 Cup lemon juice

1/2 Cup sugar

3 eggs, lightly beaten

6 Tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

In a blender, combine juice and sugar blending on high for about 15 seconds. Then add eggs and blend for another 15 seconds. With the blades running, slowly pour in the melted butter and blend for 30 seconds.

Pour the mixture into a double boiler saucepan and bring to a low boil over medium heat. This may take several minutes. Stir frequently.

As soon as the mixture reaches a boil, lower the heat to just above low and stir constantly for 2-3 minutes until the mixture resembles a shiny pudding. It should coat the back of your spoon. 

Pour into ramekins or a bowl. Let cool a little before serving.

Keeps in the refrigerator for up to two weeks. Freezes well.

Positivity Got You Down? Let Me Suggest Something

Not everyone grooves on uplifting thoughts all the time.

I understand this.

In fact when I was in college there were no Gratitude Journals, that wasn’t a thing like it is today.

Instead we kept what we called Bitch Books. They were nothing special to look at, just spiral notebooks with a theme, however it sounded better to refer to them as Bitch Books.

So we did.

To clarify, we called them this not because we thought of ourselves as bitches, even if we might have been, but because we needed a place to write about our issues, all the wrongs that we felt we’d suffered.

Oy vey!

Granted we also discussed our issues in lengthy conversations with a few people who would now be called your negativity friends [HERE], but often there were hurts that could only be expressed adequately, with the proper amount of collegiate drama, by writing about them ad nauseam in our Bitch Books.

We hid our books from our nosy roommates and unenlightened boyfriends because they could never know what we were really thinking. Heaven forbid there’d be open authentic communication.

We knew that our profs would never see the crap we’d written about them, so many pages of my book were filled with deets of professorial incompetence, stupidity, and hypocrisy. No surprise, huh?

I’d not thought about Bitch Books in decades, and probably wouldn’t have thought about them again, if it weren’t for an advertisement that shows up, unsolicited, on my Instagram feed*.

This intrusive ad confirms that everything old is new again. To wit, let me share a link to today’s version of a Bitch Book.

It’s stylish, something that’s now called a Grievance Journal [HERE], described by Boardwalk Gifts, the purveyor of it, as a “the perfect repository for all your existential angst and daily gripes!” 

Which no doubt it is.

And here’s the dealio, which is really where I’m going with this post. For a mere $28.00 you, my little bitches gentle readers, can purchase your very own Grievance Journal in which you, if you feel the need, can write about all the crap that happens to you.

OR, and this is just a thought, you could replicate what we did back in the day and write your angsty unhappiness in an 1 Subject College Ruled Spiral Notebook [HERE] currently available for $3.39 at Target.

It’s your money and your life, of course.

Obviously I don’t know how much bitching you need to do, so please, I encourage you, do what you feel suits you best.

* I’m on Instagram as thespectacledbean [HERE]

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever heard of an old-school Bitch Book or a new-fangled Grievance Journal?

Have you written one? Why or why not?

Did you once have, or do you now have, negativity friends?

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July Reply: Answering YOUR Questions About Me [AMA Part 2 Of 3]

PREVIOUSLY…

Last week I introduced this AMA Extravaganza by answering your questions about how to blog. Go HERE to read who asked a question, what it was, and what I said.

Today I’ll continue answering your questions, this time about me.

Again I’ve highlighted who asked each question and added a link to their blog. I’m doing that in order to create and extend a sense of community that is, in my experience, the backbone of personal blogging.

YOUR QUESTIONS  + MY ANSWERS

These questions, occasionally edited for clarity, are arranged alphabetically by topic, then chronologically by when the asker of the question asked the question. Thanks to everyone. I reply in one answer to similar questions because that seems sensible to me, she who is answering your questions.

🟣 CHILDHOOD & TEEN YEARS
Lynn from Life After 50 asks: how might others have perceived you as a teenager rather than what did you think of yourself? Or maybe both?
L. Marie from El Space- The Blog of L. Marie asks: what were you like in high school?
Nicki from Behind the Story asks: Tell me more about yourself as a “cool kid.” From what I have noticed, you’re imaginative and funny and open to new experiences and people. What are some examples of your cool kid ways? Were you a cool kid in kindergarten?

MY ANSWER: As a kindergartener I was shy and serious;  I was, after all, an only child of older well-educated parents so kids, my peers, kind of baffled me with their rambunctiousness.  As a high school student I was focused on learning enough to go to college, but I goofed off too. There might have been underage drinking involved.  But not with the Popular Kids, only with other kids who I’d known since forever who were also just trying to survive long enough to escape from our small town.

🟣 DAILY LIFE

Dale from A Dalectable Life asks: Do you work full-time outside of the house?
Marty from Snakes in the Grass asks: … in what field [did] you [work] in your career. Your husband’s also?
Judy from NewEnglandGardenAndThread asks: what makes a really good day for you?
Dan from No Facilities asks: What’s Ally’s favorite thing to do when not blogging?
The Travel Architect from THE TRAVEL ARCHITECT asks: what is a daily routine you can’t live without (not literally, like eating, but a cozy habit you love)?

MY ANSWER: I’ve worked as a paralegal, marketing researcher, merchandiser, sales rep, retail store manager, fundraiser, project manager, and writer. In other words, many jobs, no career. I am currently not working outside the home, preferring to lean into the idea that I’m a genuine slacker or perhaps I’m accidentally retired along with my husband who worked as, and technically still is, a lawyer.

When not applying myself to the rigors of being a blogger, I like to goof around with recipes in the kitchen;  or mess around with plants;  or fret over interior design decisions;  or go for walk;  or read a book;  or play board games;  or watch a mystery or comedy TV show.

A quiet calm life makes me happy.

A really good day for me would involve fresh air, tasty food + drink, laughing with friends, reading/learning, and moments of gratitude for how well I’ve landed in life.  My only “cozy habit” is to say tres bien when I drink my first mug of coffee in the morning. I consider it a blessing and a goal.

🟣 DEFINITION OF COOL
Margy from Amusives asks: What generation of ‘cool’ did you grow up in? Has the term changed much as each generation used it?
Mary from Mary J Melange asks: Can cool kids also be nerdy kids? 
Pat from retirementtransition asks: I’ve never been a Cool Kid… how can this always-been-a -Do-Bee become a truly Cool Kid?

MY ANSWER: As a former Do-Bee, in order to answer your questions about being a Cool Kid, I decided to research the term “cool” to learn something about its slang etymology, figuring that would shed light on the phrase Cool Kid.

I read three articles* and will summarize my findings thusly:

  1. cool, as in a way to describe someone who is effortlessly with it, came into our lexicon in the 1920s via jazz;
  2. cool is something someone else says about you, you cannot declare yourself to be cool;  and
  3. that which is considered cool changes about every decade so it can mean whatever you want it to mean within the context of your life experiences &/or the decade in which you are currently living.
🟣 GENERAL KNOWLEDGE
Esoterica from Existential Ergonomics asks: What topic could you give a 20-minute presentation on without any preparation?

MY ANSWER: I could talk about the ups and downs of personal blogging or what I’ve learned about interior design through the lens of the mistakes I’ve  made.

🟣 GEOGRAPHY
Linda from The Task at Hand asks: what state do you live in?
Bijoux from Bytes from the ‘Burbs asks: … have you always lived in the Cincinnati area? Did you go to college in Ohio? And do you agree that Graeter’s is the best ice cream ever?

MY ANSWER: I live in southwest Ohio, although I was born and raised in central Ohio. After attending college in this region I stayed. And YES Graeter’s ice cream is the best ice cream ever. I’m especially keen on their Vanilla Bean or their Caramel.

🟣 PERSONALITY
Victoria from Victoria Ponders asks: has humor always served you well…in your work life, with friends/family? It seems like such a potent part of your personality. And does your humor come from some familial source? A nature or nurture gift?
Lynette from In the Net! – Pictures and Stories of Life asks: are you an introvert or extrovert, and has this consciously affected your life choices?
Deb from Debs Despatches asks: is the person we see here at the Spectacled Bean the real you, or only a slice of you? I know you choose (as do I) to exclude certain matters, but other than that bit of editing, do we get to see the real Ally Bean?

MY ANSWER: I seem to have been born with a sense of humor. I know that from early on I could crack up my parents with my quips. They both could be humorous, but were more reserved than I so my truthfulness made them laugh, but got me in trouble, too.

I’m an introvert who can be extroverted when necessary. I believe that is now referred to as an ambivert. It’s only been with age that I’ve come to understand myself, my ability to work successfully with people BUT to also embrace my innate desire to avoid people.

The person you see here is the real me, albeit with a blogging nom de plume. I don’t talk about everything I do, however the way in which I talk about that which I do is the same here as in real life. Well, not entirely true… in real life I swear more.

🟣 STYLE
Gigi from Gigi’s Ramblings asks: How would you describe your fashion/style choices? Boho Chic, Classic, Jeans and Tee, etc. Also, you’ve mentioned you have curly/wavy hair… what is your preferred styling method and why?
Suzanne from Picture Retirement asks: What is your favorite color and why?

MY ANSWER: I tend to be a casual jeans and t-shirt girl, opting for flats or boots or Birks depending on the weather. I like simple lines, tailored clothes, but nothing too traditional or formal. No ruffles ever.

I don’t do florals or checks. I wear understated  jewelry like hoop or stud earrings, smallish necklaces, and my wedding rings. My curly frizzy graying hair is pulled back into a ponytail or twisted into a librarian bun at the nape of my neck.

When it comes to my wardrobe I stick with a medium Summer palette a la Carole Jackson’s Color Me Beautiful system. My favorite color is teal. I look good in it and I like to see in my home, too. I find it soothing.

🟣 TRAVEL
Deb from Closer to the Edge asks about: The most fascinating place you have ever visited and what made it so?
Margaret from Stargazer asks: Now that Z-D is retired, do you have any plans to travel? If so, where is your dream destination and why?
Neil from YEAH, ANOTHER BLOGGER asks: Do you have any vacation plans for the second half of 2023?

MY ANSWER: It’s a toss-up about the most fascinating place I’ve visited.  I liked seeing: the Alhambra in Granada, Spain [gorgeous intricate tilework];  Banff and Lake Louise in Alberta, Canada [picture perfect vistas]; and Charleston, South Carolina, USA [funky buildings, groovy vibe].  Plus I liked, and relaxed into, the lushness of Hawaii and Wales.

We probably won’t be traveling anywhere outside of Ohio this year, but eventually would like to see more of Canada, visit all the U.S. Presidential Libraries, and go to Spain, France, Italy.  Also return to England again, maybe visit the University of Exeter where I spent a term when I was in undergrad.

We’ll see how it plays out.

🟣 WRITING
Dave from LIFE IN A WORD asks: Do you have other outlets for your writing besides blogging?
Arlene from Somerton Smith asks: What other things are you writing these days?
Mona from Wayward Sparkles asks: I was wondering whether you’ve ever considered taking the top 10 to 20 best of your posts (your choice) and turning them into a book? Or perhaps you might write a book of the best wisdom you’ve gotten or given on your blog?
Pam from ROUGHWIGHTING asks: Do you think before you write, or just go ahead and be a panster and write as the words come?

MY ANSWER: I only write this blog, nothing more. When it comes to writing posts I know the topic or situation I want to write about but then just babble as the words come, with no advance outline in mind.

I’m a pantster who edits mercilessly.

I’ve talked with some published authors about whether I could turn my posts into a book of essays and the upshot is that I don’t have the desire or patience to write a book. You need a raging fire in your belly to do that– and all I have in my belly is one blue tip safety match.

🟣 ZEN-DEN
Nicole from GIRL in a BOY HOUSE asks: I’d like to ask how you and Zen Den met.
Janet from Janet’s Smiles asks: Will you ever post a picture of you and your hubby?
Linda from WALKIN’, WRITIN’, WIT & WHIMSY asks: … my question to you would be “how has life changed for you since Z-D retired?” I know you wrote about his side hustle but that is from home, so he has no commute and (hopefully) creates his own schedule. Are you getting out for the long walks you had hoped to?
Colleen from Martin Family Moments asks: Since you don’t post photos of yourself or your husband, could you choose the closest two celebrities that might be your doppelgangers?

MY ANSWER: Zen-Den and I met in college when he was studying Spanish with a girl down the hall in my dorm.  She introduced us and we hit it off immediately.  At the time we were each dating someone else but knew we were destined for each other.

I doubt that I’ll ever post a photo of us because I’ve made it a point to keep this blog about words and ideas, almost completely free from personal people photos.

That being said, when we were younger Z-D looked like his Uncle Don John Belushi [Animal House] and I was told I looked like my Great Aunt Idy Mare Winningham [St. Elmo’s Fire]. However now, as old people, we’re looking more like Fred and Ethel Mertz [I Love Lucy].

Z-D’s retirement hasn’t played out quite like I imagined. It’s a long story, not mine to tell, but in addition to his side hustles he continued to work part-time for his employer for many months after he retired. Plus the house has needed lots of repairs that have kept us house poor, so we have yet to experience a full-time retirement lifestyle.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Next week [or maybe later this week depending on my mood] I’ll  post the final installment HERE of this AMA Extravaganza. Once again I’ll be featuring the bloggers who asked the questions and answering their questions that best can be described as wildly miscellaneous and decidedly inventive.

You’ll see. You’ll like it.

Sources:

  1. How Did Cool Become Such a Big Deal? via Humanities, The Magazine Of The National Endowments For The Humanities
  2. When “Cool” Got Cool via Vocabulary.com
  3. The Birth of Cool via Slate