Confused

A Chance Encounter In The Cereal Aisle, An Unexpected Act Of Probably Legal Kindness

/ Ally Bean / 219 Comments

Something weird happened. Please allow me to explain.

A few weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon Zen-Den and I were shopping in Kroger. It was busy but not chaotic, for the most part shoppers were aware of each other. In fact the biggest annoyances were the extra temporary displays clogging the aisles.

Thus it was a slow process going up and down the aisles, but we weren’t in a hurry so we moseyed happily along, Z-D pushing the cart, me following behind him.

In the cereal aisle we came to a full stop when we encountered a couple in their 70s who were looking for one particular cereal. They’d abandoned their cart in the middle of the aisle and, with paper coupon in hand, were laser-focused on finding the right cereal on the shelf, wherever it might be.

We just smiled and waited.

Eventually they found their cereal and looked up to see us standing there, unperturbed. The woman, who was wearing a sweatshirt that said “You Are Enough,”  apologized to us for holding up traffic.

No problem say we and go on our way continuing to shop.

• • •

Eventually we got what we needed and went to stand in line to use the U-scan machines. After a few minutes we scored a machine and went to it.

Doing our usual grocery shopping two-step, I handed the items to Z-D. He then scanned and bagged them.

Welp, while we were doing this I noticed the older couple was now in line for the U-scans. Then kind of out of nowhere the “You Are Enough” sweatshirt woman walks up to Z-D, who is in the process of weighing fruit, and says: “Excuse me sir, these are for you.”

At which point she hands a surprised Zen-Den three flowers [seen in the photo at the top of this post]. He looks at me, like I should have a clue about why this is happening, but I shrug.

Beats me.

So he thanks her while taking the flowers that he then hands to me. She smiles and goes back to standing in line with her husband by their cart of unpaid for groceries and a bouquet of flowers.

We finish checking out, pay for our stuff, and walk out of the store with me holding what was TECHNICALLY, from a strictly legal perspective was probably, STOLEN MERCHANDISE because at that minute while we walked to our car the flowers hadn’t been purchased by the older couple who was still standing in line waiting to buy them.

I hope.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Do you believe this was a weird experience?

Has anything like this happened to you— that is, having a stranger, who might be a little Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, spontaneously hand you a gift?

Do you like the “You Are Enough” message on the woman’s sweatshirt? Was the Universe trying to tell us something or just playing mind games with us?

How often to you go grocery shopping? Do you prefer a certain day and/or time of day?

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A 3:00 A.M. Tale In Which We Experience Batshit Crazy For Real

/ Ally Bean / 230 Comments

As if last week, a difficult week for everyone, could not have been any stranger…

Forget your ancient church belfry, this tale takes place in modern times, starting in an upstairs suburban bedroom, moving to the two-story foyer, dashing about in 2 upstairs guest bedrooms, and culminating in the downstairs TV room adjacent to the kitchen.

Who is the star of this tale? Zen-Den, of course!

Here’s what happened.

I was awakened from a sound sleep when I heard the rattling of our wooden blinds at the bedroom window. I glanced over at the blinds and saw swooping birdlike shadows at the window. The shadows reminded me of scenes in the Alfred Hitchcock movie “The Birds.”

You see, in my drowsiness I thought somehow the bright light from the lamppost in front of the house was shining through the blinds making it appear that birds were creating shadowy silhouettes OUTSIDE the window.

But I was wrong.

I realized this when I got out of bed, walked over to the blinds to see what was going on at the window, only to learn that what I was seeing was INSIDE the house.

I definitively discerned this when something flew straight at me, swooped over my head as I hunched and shuddered, then dashed out the open bedroom door going into the foyer where it started flying around the chandelier like it was crazy.

Batty, even.

Fleece throw aka my impromptu babushka

Calmly, you would have been proud of me, I woke up Z-D who was oblivious to our winged intruder. I told him something was wrong, something creepy was flying around, and that he needed to get up to investigate. I also told him he’d be in the lead during the investigation.

I’d follow behind, on his six.

Utilizing my natural ability to scream loudly when under attack startled.

Without complaining he got up, dressing in jeans and a ragg wool knit beanie, and started walking around the upstairs rooms while I followed behind him, still in my jammies but with a plaid fleece throw [photo above] wrapped around my head like a Russian grandma in her babushka.

Quickly we realized that what I thought was a bird, was a bat. And that Z-D needed to get a broom from the garage, leaving me to stand alone in the foyer defending myself by screaming and holding a heavy doorstop [photo below] in front of my face, using it like a cross meant to keep vampires away.

This might have been helpful, maybe.

Heavy doorstop aka my potential weapon

The rest of this tale is what you’d expect if’n you’ve ever chased a bat through your house. We turned on lights everywhere. We got him out of one room, closed the door; then got him out of another room, closed the door; so on and so on, et cetera, et cetera. This went on until we were downstairs in the TV room where the bat was trying to hide on the floor in the shadows near a lounge chair.

Zen-Den saw him, wacked him with the broom, held him down, and shouted for me to get a cookie sheet from the kitchen. Which I did, putting it on the floor so that we could carefully slowly slide the bat, who was still alive and squeaking, onto it while Z-D used the broom to hold him down on the cookie sheet.

Together we slide our captive to the back door where Z-D then tossed the dude, who got into our house somehow but we don’t know how, outside into the snow.

The bat was shocked, but still alive, and gave us the evil eye as he straightened up and flew away into the night, no doubt as perturbed by this experience as we were.

And that, my gentle readers, is how it came to be that we experienced batshit crazy.

For real.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever had a bat flying around inside your home? Assuming you didn’t want a bat flying around inside your home, what did you do to get rid of it?

Bats are known for their exceptional hearing abilities. Do you see the irony in a bat waking me up in the middle of the night because I’m extremely sensitive to sound? Am I part old bat and don’t know it‽

What’s the last batshit crazy thing that happened in your world? Tell all, we need to know.

~ ~ • ~ ~

Home Sweet Home: Do You Know Where You Belong?

/ Ally Bean / 181 Comments

The Tale [Or Tail] Of An Unexpected Visitor

I wanted to sweep leaves off our deck, it being autumn and all, so I’d opened one of the French doors between our dining room and screened-in porch, leaving it open behind me, then I stepped outside into the screened-in porch.

I had a sense of purpose.

These are the steps that Cookie walked up.

Next I opened the door from the screened-in porch to the deck propping the door to the deck open. I began sweeping the leaves off the deck, attentive to what I was doing, when something from the yard, that had climbed up the stairs to our deck, dashed past me.

Like a black and white canine thunderbolt. 

This is the deck that Cookie ran across going through the screen door that was open at the time into the screened-in porch.

I pivoted quickly to see Cookie, our neighbor’s Dalmatian-Great Dane mix, go running across our deck into our screened-in porch through the door I’d propped open.

Never expecting an uninvited visitor.

These are the French doors that Cookie walked through from the screened-in porch into our dining room.

Then faster than you can say “Jack be nimble, Jack be quick” while still standing on the deck I looked through the sliding door that leads from the deck into the kitchen or vice versa. This is when I saw Cookie, the happy-go-lucky goofball, inside our house looking out at me.

Through a locked door.

This is the spot in our kitchen where Cookie stopped moving, choosing instead to stare outside at me still on the deck.

So I ran across the deck into the screened-in porch, through the dining room, around the corner into the kitchen where Cookie was patiently waiting for me to feed her. Or so I assume.

What did I do?

This is Drags pretending to be Cookie so that you can get the idea of what I saw inside my house, on the other side of the locked door, while still standing outside on the deck.

Welp, I conned her out of our kitchen through the foyer toward the front door by shouting “WALKIES” and she fell for it by following me. I opened our front door, she stepped out, and I instructed her to “go home” while pointing in the direction of her house. And with that, slightly confused but obedient, Cookie trotted off.

To her home sweet home.

Deciding Where You Belong

I stumbled across the OECD Better Life Index. The index is a simple little online gadget that allows you to determine which country would best suit your personality.

Apparently I belong in Norway.

It’s easy to determine where you belong by following the link provided above. You’ll be asked to slide some doodads around to indicate how important 11 variables are to you. Then *voilà* you’ll learn which countries are where you’d find other people vibing with your values.

Your soulmates, I guess.

Questions Of The Day

Have you had a neighbor’s dog come for an unannounced visit? If so, how’d that go? What boss move did you do to get said dog to go home?

Upon opening a door to go outside do you immediately shut it behind you— or are you lax about shutting it sometimes?

If you tried the Better Life Index, which countries do you belong in?

Do you feel Drags needs to be featured here more often? I admit I’ve drifted away from using him, but doesn’t he just make you smile?

• 🐲 •

 

Discussing The Impact Of An Audience + Sharing My Summer Blogging Schedule

/ Ally Bean / 184 Comments

The Impact Of An Audience

a jigsaw puzzle with a few pieces missing

AFTER I READ WHAT I read, I couldn’t stop thinking about the advice that many people found inspirational. Considering I had worked in a world where “know your audience” was the mantra, what I read seemed off-base.

Yet being open-minded I got thinking about it. Oddly enough it seemed like good advice and bad advice in one paradoxical statement. So in an attempt to get to the heart of what this advice meant I talked with a few friends about it.

We couldn’t agree about what to make of it.

So what, you might be asking yourself, did I read that lead to pondering and *perhaps* profundity? I read this brief article entitled: Amanda, There Is No Audience.

The title IS the simple advice that may or may not make sense to you depending on your personality and/or your idea of community. You might like or not like the advice depending on the context and/or who is saying it to you.

There are variables.

As best I can figure, and I’m sure you will tell me if I am wrong, the advice is saying that in order to not second-guess yourself, which is a positive thing, you have to not care about what other people think about you and your choices.

There’s a truth to that.

Don’t give your power away to just anyone or anything.

But how you use your own power seems to divide people in a philosophical way that reveals how you think about the people around you and any influence they may, or may not, have on you.

Anyhoo the issue, simplified, comes down to how the advice resonates with you:

• Do you, like Amanda, find this advice inspiring because by denying you have an audience you’re free from judgment and this allows you to do what you want to do unhindered? You are alone.

OR

• Do you find this advice unrealistic because to think no one is watching you is delusional, but in spite of that by ignoring what the audience suggests you are productive? You are indifferent.

Thoughts, anyone?

My Summer Blogging Schedule 

image via pagesbyleanne

LIGHT is my guiding word this year.

Thus in order to allow more light into my life, The Spectacled Bean will be on SPRING/SUMMER HOURS until further notice.

I’ll post here every couple of weeks, reply to comments, and check-in with you on your blogs every so often because I try to keep up with you, my bloggy friends.

Take it easy, everyone. Let the light shine on you.

Do good. Play nice. Be happy.

• • 😎 • •