Dealing With Cognitive Dissonance, Yet Again

May 8, 2013May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 21 Comments

First, I came upon Jessica Hische’s wonderful website, Thousand Under 90. It asked me: “Are you a creative person that constantly submits to competitions but never gets in?” Then it provided me with the opportunity to create an award for myself.

Here it is. Isn’t it cute?

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But then I read this insightful article, The Surprising Secret To Selling You, that told me that being awesome may not be as awesome as I think that it is.

“We have a bias — one that operates below our conscious awareness — leading us to prefer the potential for greatness over someone who has already achieved it.”

~ Heidi Grant Halvorson

This left me flummoxed. Did I not just create an Awesome Award for myself so that I can feel like I am the best? Was this not the best thing for me to do? Is gaming the system with my self-created award, perhaps, counterproductive to me winning at the game, whatever it might be?

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I was, as usual, left with that familiar feeling of cognitive dissonance that has underscored most of my life. You know the one.

“… the feeling of discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs…. a discrepancy between beliefs and behaviors, [wherein] something must change in order to eliminate or reduce the dissonance.”

~ Kendra Cherry

And I begin to wonder if the best change that I could make to reduce my cognitive dissonance might be to keep my Awesome Award secret between you and me, my gentle readers– while continuing to sell myself to the world as someone with potential.

I think that might be the best way to proceed. As if my Awesome Award, like so many awards, doesn’t mean a thing. 😉

The Poinsettia On The Kitchen Table

January 8, 2013January 8, 2013 / Ally Bean / 22 Comments

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:: Some of you who’ve been reading this blog for a while know that this poinsettia came into our home the weekend after Thanksgiving Day 2011. It has lived, bloomed, grown while sitting on our kitchen table ever since.

This is unprecedented for me. Never once has a poinsettia, entrusted to my care, lived more than a couple of months after it came into our house.

Yet this wonderful plant has shown me that with the right amount of indifference and the right amount of sunlight, a poinsettia can thrive, at least for a year or so, in our home.

Truly this is a case of… who knew?

:: I was staring at this plant the other morning as I sat at the kitchen table and drank a mug of coffee. Bay windows surround the table on one side so I had the choice of looking outside into the grayness or looking inside at this colorful, drooping poinsettia.

I went with the colorful alternative. I mean… who wouldn’t?

:: According to a fast bit of research on the topic, a poinsettia can live for years inside someone’s home. I like knowing this, but doubt that this will be the case with our poinsettia on the kitchen table. It is beginning to look frazzled and worn out.

I’m not going to do anything in particular to encourage it to keep on growing, but at the same time I’m not going to withhold water and sunlight from it. I’m just going to let it go through its process of aging gracefully.

This plant’s sense of purpose has charmed me. All plants are like this, of course; but seeing the process unfold in slow motion in front of me each day for well over a year, reminds me that we need to define ourselves as we see fit.

Do your own thing, says our poinsettia on the kitchen table. And all that I think is… why not?

I Have Seen My Future & I Like Who I Am

November 28, 2012 / Ally Bean / 14 Comments

I was getting out of my car in the parking lot in front of a strip center yesterday, when I noticed an older woman getting out of her car. The woman was probably 75-80 years old. She was slender, not emaciated, and was moving with a slow ease.

I was immediately taken with her. She was, I do hope, what I look like when I am her age. My future doppelgänger of sorts.

Here’s what I saw:

• white wavy hair, sans frizz, cut short & styled in a relaxed flattering way – not glued into place

• rectangular medium-brownish-gray framed glasses – that fit her face size

• a bright red parka that would make a stop sign blush at its own dull inadequacy

• a jazzy-patterned multi-colored silk scarf around her neck – peeking out from within her parka

• medium tan corduroy boot-cut pants – hemmed just right

• dark tan flat leather shoes – rather nondescript, but in the perfect shade to blend with the pants

To say that I was smitten is an understatement. Part of this was because it was refreshing for me to see a little old lady who embraced color and wore styles from this decade. She wasn’t a Q-tip, which is the way so many of the older woman around here dress. Not flattering.

But what really intrigued me about this woman was that she was driving a VW Beetle Convertible— bright red on the bottom, black on the top. A bold car, no?

And one that, combined with her ensemble, made me love her upon first sight as I became hopeful for my future as an old lady. I’m gonna look damned good, aren’t I?