Do Good

The Mystery Of The Missing Marjoram + Reader Comments About Manufactured Victories

/ Ally Bean / 245 Comments
TALKING ABOUT MARJORAM

“I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.”

We needed some marjoram. NEED I tell ‘ya! Zen-Den was making gyros for dinner.

He’d made the tzatziki sauce, bought the feta and black olives and pitas and peppers, but alas and alack when he went to put together the dry blend for flavoring the meat we didn’t have any marjoram.

Thus I went to the grocery to buy some.

Being familiar with our Kroger I knew where the spice aisle was in the store, but when I stood there looking at the shelves with about 3 gazillion jars and containers and bottles of spices and herbs and extracts, I didn’t see marjoram.

In fact, I couldn’t even find a little tag that showed it had ever been on a shelf.

As if, I muttered, knowing it had to be there, right?

So in what for an introvert might be considered stepping outside your comfort zone, I asked two friendly chatty women standing beside me if they saw any marjoram. Turned out they were a mother [70-ish] and her daughter [40-ish] who were enthusiastic about joining my impromptu scavenger hunt in the spice aisle.

Hence we three stood there, positioning our bifocals just so, and looked for the elusive marjoram plus what they were looking for [thyme and poultry seasoning]. We found what they needed, many times over, but the marjoram just wasn’t there.

I shrugged, thanked them for their help and went on my way, walking a few aisles away from the spice aisle to where I knew I needed to pick up something else.

From my favorite webcomic called Underpants and Overbites

But as I was standing in the middle of that aisle, I heard the younger woman yelling “I found it!” as she ran up to me with a jar of marjoram. She handed me the herb and explained that she’d found it with the label turned around backwards, in the wrong spot, hidden behind some oregano.

And then because she was a compassionate foodie person, she’d come looking for me by going up and down the aisles, wanting to make sure I got what I came to the store for.

Bashfully, almost apologetically, she explained that once she started doing something she had to finish it, she was compulsive like that, and this sort of search was her thing.

I had to find it, she told me.

I thanked her over and over, then waved good-bye while thinking, there really are some nice people in this world who don’t want to do anything more than just help other people.

And fortunately for the fate of our Greek dinner, I’d just met one.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever asked a stranger for help finding something in a store? How’d that go for you?

Do you wonder sometimes how we have evolved into a society in which an act of kindness like this one is so rare that it is almost shocking?

Do you use marjoram in cooking? We have a lot of it now, so any recipe suggestions are welcome.

AND FINALLY FOUR READER COMMENTS…

About the Value of Manufactured Victories:

“Manufactured victories are part of my time management process. Like painting a wall. I get out the paint, then celebrate. Check for the brushes (which I find), dropcloths and tools. Then I celebrate. Now I notice I forgot something and need a store run. The good news-bad news is that I get to celebrate when I come home. All this celebrating and I haven’t yet painted the dang wall!”

~ Kate Crimmins

“… every blog post is its own victory–over apathy, inertia, and sometimes technology…. I feel like failure gets a bad rap in our winner-centric country. I’d like to normalize failure, especially for our kids. You might not have won, but you learned a ton!”

~ AutumnAshbough

“I think manufactured victories are very similar to moral victories, where the object was not to win but to actually try real hard. (Of course, a win is nice, too.)”

~ John Holton

“I don’t agree with the Vulcans that the DS9 crew had manufactured their victory. They were victorious in their sportsmanship. They didn’t begrudge the Vulcans their win, but the DS9 team had fun and experienced healthy camaraderie by showing up and playing together.”

~ Marie A Bailey

Think Before You Speak: The One About The Cashier Kid And What Bob Taught Him

/ Ally Bean / 252 Comments

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I WAS SHOPPING IN our local Kroger, standing in line behind a chatty woman who was talking with our cashier, a kid about 18 y.o. He was tall, slim, and personable– plus efficient.

I liked him.

As he goes to hand this chatty woman her bag of groceries an older man who is also tall, slim, and personable, a customer on his way out of the store, shouts over to this cashier kid saying: “how ‘ya doing stupid?”

The customer does a little hand wave and smiles as he walks by.

Our cashier kid smiles, waves back, and says: “okay.”

The older man nods his head, keeps walking, and goes out the door.

I figure this older man is the cashier kid’s grandpa and don’t think anything more about it. They looked enough alike for that to be true.

But I was wrong.

Well, the chatty woman in front of me was NOT PLEASED by this brief conversation. She immediately begins to interrogate this cashier kid: “do you know that man?”

The cashier kid says: “he’s a customer here.”

“And he calls you STUPID?!!”

“Yes, but it’s okay he’s pretty nice, really.”  

The cashier kid starts to look frazzled, clearly not into this conversation, but the chatty woman won’t let it go, she NEEDS to know more so she presses this cashier kid: “You mean he’s a customer who talks to you like that and you’re alright with it? Did you tell your manager what he said? You don’t have to take verbal abuse.”

There’s a long awkward pause.

At this point I realize that the cashier kid is in over his head. This previously pleasant conversation with the chatty woman has taken a weird turn that has him tongue-tied, so I butt in and ask the obvious question saying: “WHY does that man call you stupid?”

~ • ~

And with that THE STORY came out. A good one, totally understandable, one that just goes to show that a little bit of humor goes a long way toward making someone else feel comfortable in a trying situation.

~ • ~

COME TO FIND OUT on the first day the cashier kid worked a register by himself he made a major mistake while ringing up this older man’s groceries. Instead of ringing up a $2.50 half loaf of bread, the cashier kid goofed, ringing it up for close to $30.00.

How did this happen, you might be wondering?

Well for some reason our cashier kid got flustered when he saw a half loaf of bread. His mom buys whole loaves, so this was new to him.

He thought it was a speciality item from the bakery and figured he had to do something manually, like you do when there’s a preordered sheet cake. So he input the code for sheet cake, weighed the bread like it was fresh produce [another thing he shouldn’t have done], and ended up with an expensive half loaf of bread.

He immediately realized he’d done something VERY WRONG so he called to the front end manager to come over to help, then as a way of explanation about what was going on he told this older man that: “I’m stupid.”

To which this older man, the customer, replied: “I’m Bob. Glad to meet ‘ya, Stupid.” 

Dad humor, obviously.

But the kind of humor that according to this cashier kid made him smile. In fact it was just what he needed to hear, realizing that Bob wasn’t upset, wasn’t going to yell at him. That everything was going to work out okay eventually.

And that’s how the cashier kid met Bob, the aforementioned waving customer in the first part of this story, who paid that day without any complaint about what happened. But on his way out Bob leaned over to tell this cashier kid that THE LESSON from this was to never tell anyone that you’re stupid.

Why?

Because they might remember something negative you say about yourself and use it against you in the future.

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The End Of The World? I Asked ChatGPT To Tell Me A Story (And I Feel Fine)

/ Ally Bean / 263 Comments

INTRODUCTION

Pride goeth before the fall, as my mother used to say.

To see what would happen I asked ChatGPT to tell me a story about a starfish, a kohlrabi, and a dragon. It did so quickly crafting a 338 word story. Then I went to pixabay to look for suitable free photos/images to enhance the story.

This little adventure in putting together a blog post took me [maybe] 15 minutes. In truth I spent most of that time searching through pixabay pictures and not waiting for AI to compose a story.

Admittedly as someone who writes a personal blog I’ve always known that I was optional, but I do take pride in doing my best here. Nonetheless with ChatGPT and its ilk creating good stories, maybe even better ones than what I write, I wonder if my optionality is just the first step to insignificance.

However, be that as it may or may not be, I invite you to read the following story and decide for yourself if there’s anything for me, for any blogger, for any writer, to worry about.

THE TALE OF THE OCEAN HEROES

Once upon a time, in a mythical land, there lived a starfish named Stella. Stella was a special starfish as she had the power to talk and communicate with other creatures in the sea. She loved to explore and make new friends.

Stella the starfish

One day, while she was exploring the seabed, she stumbled upon a strange-looking vegetable called kohlrabi. It was not something she had seen before, and she was curious to know more about it. Suddenly, she heard a loud roar, and when she looked up, she saw a dragon flying above her.

The dragon was not like any other dragon. It was small and cute, and its scales were a mix of pink and purple. The dragon landed on the seabed and introduced herself as Daisy. Stella and Daisy became instant friends and decided to explore the sea together.

Daisy the dragon

As they were swimming, they saw a group of fish swimming frantically, and they decided to investigate. The fish were caught in a fishing net, and they needed help. Stella and Daisy knew they had to act fast. They called out to all the sea creatures nearby, including kohlrabi, to help them rescue the fish.

With the kohlrabi’s sharp edges, they cut the fishing net and freed the fish. The sea creatures cheered, and they became friends. Stella, Daisy, and the kohlrabi decided to form a team to help other sea creatures in need. They called themselves “The Ocean Heroes.”

the kohlrabi

From that day on, Stella the starfish, Daisy the dragon, and the kohlrabi went on many adventures together, helping other sea creatures in need. They even helped a lost turtle find its way back home. The Ocean Heroes became well known and loved in the sea, and their friendship and courage inspired many other sea creatures.

And so, Stella the starfish, Daisy the dragon, and the kohlrabi formed an unbreakable bond of friendship, proving that no matter how different we may seem, we can achieve great things when we work together.

MY OPINION & REVIEW OF THE STORY 

As you can see ChatGPT wrote a sweet short story. It made me smile and gave me all the warm feels. I suspect that was the point. Even as an adult I recognize that I want to be Stella the starfish. She’s curious, friendly, proactive, and courageous.

A definite role model.

And Daisy the dragon? Beyond being cute she’s a confident bff who helps solve problems. I like her, too.

My only qualm with this story is why didn’t ChatGPT give the kohlrabi a name, like Kenneth the kohlrabi? That seems short-sighted to me.

It’s as if ChatGPT is lacking in understanding about human relationships, unaware that humans tend to name every *person* in a story so that humans might more easily intuitively grasp the message of the story.

But then, what do I know?

I’m just a human.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

What do you think of the story? Do you want to be Stella the starfish when you grow up?

Could you write a better story? And if so, how long would it take you to write and edit it? Then create artwork for it?

Are you concerned about Artificial Intelligence creeping into the world of writers and displacing humans?

• + • + •

Three Thoughts Thursday | Enjoying. Reading. Watching.

/ Ally Bean / 233 Comments

Years ago I dreamed up this feature thinking I’d do it every so often [maybe quarterly], but I let it slide. I’ve been wanting to resurrect it, so I shall. Three Thoughts Thursday is when I tell you stuff and don’t make a story of it.

 ONE 

I think that… Only Murders in the Building [available on Hulu] is a hoot and half, as they used to say.

Set in modern day NYC, this TV show stars Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez. The plot revolves around the efforts of three neighbors, bumbling along, as they try to solve a murder, or two, in their apartment building. While it may sound trite and predictable it is not, and has enough laughs to make it a comedy.

Definitely recommended.

TWO 

I think that… Spare, Prince Harry’s memoir, is an interesting detailed glimpse into how the House of Windsor works. Or more accurately, how it doesn’t work in the case of their dysfunctional family dynamics.

Starting with his adult realization that his family doesn’t understand him, he sets out to explain his take on his life since age 12 when his mother, Diana, died.  I admire anyone who can claim their narrative and tell their story, which is especially difficult when you’re part of an uptight royal family and the British tabloids are primed to make you seem awful.

Would I recommend reading this book? Welp, I read half/skimmed through half because I didn’t care about his time in school or his travels around the world with friends or his experiences in the military.

However I was intrigued by his honesty about his teenage grief, his adult depression, and his growing disbelief about the ways in which his family of origin had treated him– and now his wife.

Not well, as you probably know.

THREE 

I think that… Glass Onion is a fun entertaining whodunit movie. I rarely watch movies, but I like the flamboyant Benoit Blanc character, played by Daniel Craig, so watching him solve another murder was delightful in that Agatha Christie cozy mystery way.

The cast is brilliant, the writing is sharp, the setting is stupendous– and the mystery itself is intriguing, unfolding in ways unexpected, like you’d expect.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY  

Do you enjoy slightly absurd kind of wacky TV shows that make you laugh? If so, any suggestions for what we might watch next?

Do you read [or listen to] books? If so, are you interested in memoirs written by or biographies about celebrities? Why or why not? 

If you watch movies do you prefer to do so at home or in a theater? Do you enjoy sequels wherein you watch the same main character [or characters] do whatever they do as the story continues?

 AND FINALLY

Yesterday WordPress sent me the above message. If you’re interested you may click HERE and be magically taken to my first post on this blog wherein I boldly asserted: good things don’t happen without the correct amount of angst.