You Gotta Laugh: An Unexpected Email From A Former Boss Asking Me A Question

August 20, 2024August 25, 2024 / Ally Bean / 244 Comments

And then the absurd happened.

I received an email from a former boss, someone I hadn’t heard from in years.

Call me prescient but when I saw her name on the email I instantly flashed back to working for this woman who, while sweet enough, was a flake. She could not, would not, get to a point directly, instead dithering around about what she wanted to say.

Come to find out she has not changed.

• • •

In the first part of her email former boss talked about how she and her husband had retired. They’d moved to another state, built a house on 10+ acres, and were raising farm animals, mostly as pets.

Groovy.

She continued by explaining that she’d thought of me when trying to remember some events that happened decades ago in a bar we’d gone to after work. She wanted to know if I remembered the names of any of the bar shots we drank, specifically the ones made with Baileys Irish Cream.

And of course true to her personality, she didn’t tell me why she wanted to know about these drinks, just that she’d thought of me.

• • •

Now kids I’m sure I won’t shock you when I admit that there have been many alcoholic beverages in my life and while I like to think of myself as a helpful person, on this particular subject I was hampered by time and my indifference to Baileys Irish Cream.

Don’t love it, don’t hate it.

I could only remember two drinks.

One was a NUTTY IRISHMAN [recipe here] made with Baileys + Frangelico. The other was a B-52 [recipe here] made with Baileys + Grand Marnier + Kahlua. So I replied to former boss’s email telling her what I remembered.

• • •

Without any context in her email I’d assumed former boss was having a party and was looking for a signature drink for her event. But that couldn’t have been farther from the truth, something I learned when she emailed back thanking me for my help and further explaining herself.

You see, and let me clue you in that you’ll be surprised to learn, the reason former boss wanted to know about these bar shots is that one of her alpacas, named Bailey, had given birth.

Former boss thought it’d be clever to name the newborn, a girl, after one of those Baileys Irish Cream bar shots we’d enjoyed years ago.

Because of course she did.

• • •

Unforeseen as this email exchange was, there was logic involved, something former boss was not known for when I worked for her. And much to my continued amazement former boss did get back to me saying she liked the name Bea, as in reference to the B-52 bar shots, so she was going with that name.

She also promised to send a photo of Bea as soon as she got around to taking one, which considering this is former boss I figure said picture will arrive many years hence when former boss thinks of me again.

‘Ya know?

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever had a boss from way back when get in touch with you? If so, why? Were you flattered to be remembered?

Do you like Baileys Irish Cream? If so, do you like any particular drink made with it?

If you were living on a farm raising animals as pets which animals would you raise?

~ ~ • ~ ~

No Grimness Allowed Here: 1 Wonderful Quote + 3 Wacky Quandaries

September 27, 2022December 8, 2022 / Ally Bean / 224 Comments

David Oglivy is a businessman who is known as the Father of Advertising. More about him here.

ONE

YOU’RE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOUR REFRIGERATOR getting some ice from the freezer compartment. An ice cube falls out and lands on the floor at your feet. Do you:

pick it up and use it;
pick it up and put it in the kitchen sink to melt; or
kick it under the refrigerator to melt there?

TWO

SHOPPING IN MACY’S WOMEN’S LINGERIE DEPARTMENT I overheard a woman telling her friend that she had to buy bras and undies that match because her husband insists that she wear matching ones. This baffled me in MANY ways:

why is this woman in a relationship with such a domineering man– OR is she making this up so she can rationalize spending more money on unmentionables? [my guess is the latter not the former]
if she wears black pants and a white blouse, does she go with all dark undergarments knowing that you’ll see her bra through the white fabric OR does she wear all light undergarments hoping there’s no indication of light undies under her black pants? [a decision tree for this would be helpful]
asking Z-D if he knew what color bra and undies I wore each day, his reply was that he didn’t know, adding that he preferred to see me out of them rather than in them [ain’t he a pip?]

THREE

YOU HAVE ALEXA IN YOUR HOUSE AND every morning you ask her for the day’s local weather forecast. For months she tells you the forecast, then adds “have a good day, Ally.” She is your friend, until one day after telling you the forecast she unexpectedly stops referring to you by name, not even bothering to wish you a good day. Do you:

take it personally;
research why she’s stopped being friendly; or
chalk it up to making your first disembodied computer voice frenemy?

+ • + • +

FEEL FREE TO WEIGH IN ON ANY OF THE ABOVE QUANDARIES

TELL ME YOUR CURRENT QUANDARY SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT

+ • + • +

Tidbits & Trifles Confirming That Life Isn’t Always Exciting

June 22, 2022July 11, 2022 / Ally Bean / 226 Comments

Image via Mums Who Wine on Instagram

Hello world, what’s new with you?

• Last Thursday the nurse holding the syringe said “Coming at ‘ya, BOOM!” And with that I received my final booster shot against Covid-19. On July 1 I’ll be VAXXED TO THE MAX at 95% protection. It’ll be my first day of freedom after 28 months of pandemic precautions and awareness. Whatever shall I do with myself?

Mark my words, this won’t be jolly.

• Our favorite DISHWASHER ever isn’t working. First we’ll see if it can be repaired, but past experience has taught me probably not. Then if/when that is confirmed we’ll start down the primrose path to getting a new one, meaning we’re heading back into the world of supply chain woes. This does not make me happy.

I think not, my fine fellow!

• I made deviled eggs whilst Z-D lurked around the kitchen looking like a starving puppy. As is my habit after filling each egg half with yummy yolk-y goodness I sprinkled smoked paprika on top of each egg, then placed a pimiento on top because… is it even a real deviled egg without a DECORATIVE PIMIENTO?

Zen-Den, who you’d think would know better, did not comprehend the importance of said decoration and kept trying to eat an undecorated egg, like a prehistoric caveman. Hands were slapped.

What are the odds, I ask sarcastically?

• On the home improvement front I’m sorry to report that not enough TILE has arrived to finish the floor in the powder room. We’re waiting on getting more of it that’ll, God willing the creek don’t rise, match what’s already installed. If it doesn’t match then who knows what happens next. I shudder to think.

It’s gonna be an epic battle.

• The ZINNIA WARS of the Summer of ’22 have begun. Deer [or rabbits?] are gnawing on my zinnias that I’ve nurtured from seed, then planted outside in sunny spots where I can easily see them daily. YET many zinnias have been torn out of the ground, strewn asunder, by nefarious animals intent on stealing my joy. We’ll just see about that.

Now is your chance to share your Tidbits & Trifles. WHAT NOT EXCITING THINGS ARE HAPPENING IN YOUR WORLD? Spill it in the comments below.

Mixing It Up: A Tale Of Despair, Determination, And Dollars

June 7, 2022 / Ally Bean / 210 Comments

“If you have been mixing a dense mixture for several minutes or more, it is possible that the force of the planetary action can over-tighten the bowl.”

~ KitchenAid Tilt-head Mixer “stuck bowl” product help

Planetary Action is “a double mechanical motion in which a tool is rotated on a center, while that center is revolved in another circle at the same time.”

~ Dictionary of Occupational Titles glossary

~ • ~

BLUESY THE MIXING FLOOZY nestled in the corner on the kitchen counter

~ • ~

This tale involves our KitchenAid Tilt-head Mixer, BLUESY THE MIXING FLOOZY. She’s okay, no need to worry, but there is a casualty in this story.

You see, once upon a time we bought the KitchenAid Tilt-head Mixer Ice Cream Attachment. It’s two parts that involve an insulated freezer bowl and a goofy little paddle thingie.

We did this so we could use BLUESY to make ice cream at home for the heck of it. Thus it came to be that the other day I decided we needed to make ice cream and we did.

But in the process of using the KitchenAid Tilt-head Mixer Ice Cream Attachment, the insulated bowl froze onto BLUESY. Not budging at all.

This did not make us happy.

Following KitchenAid’s “stuck bowl” advice for how to free a stuck bowl, we tried using multiple warm wet kitchen towels wrapped at the juncture where the bowl attaches to the mixer.

Bowl still stuck.

Again following KitchenAid’s advice we put dabs of vegetable oil at the juncture where the bowl attaches to the mixer, then applied brute force.

Bowl still stuck.

Then being innovative little suburban scamps we improvised and tried using WD-40.

Bowl still stuck.

At this point, I’m ashamed to say, I was ready to give up on BLUESY, the old girl. So I went online to see how much a new KitchenAid Tilt-head Mixer would cost. I was shocked. Prices have doubled since we bought her.

So we took extreme measures.

Zen-Den, following the last ditch “stuck bowl” advice, took BLUESY into the basement, placed her on a folded beach towel on the floor, then carefully used a rubber mallet to bash the base of the insulated ice cream freezer bowl, slowly reshaping the base of the bowl.

Then he used a flathead screwdriver to lift, force, cajole the insulated bowl loose, destroying its structural integrity in the process while accidentally leaving a small scratch on BLUESY’S pretty blue finish.

We can live with this.

In fact I feel the scratch, a mere boo-boo, adds character to BLUESY. Not to mention we saved $449.99 by not buying a new Kitchen-Aid Tilt-head Mixer.

Cha-ching!

~ • ~