When A Bee Gets Buzzed, What Does It Mean?

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MY WEEK THUS FAR HAS BEEN A DOOZY, filled with broken things, unreliable people, and inconveniently rainy weather.  Nothing, despite my best efforts, has gone smoothly.

Exhausted after a trying day, I was sitting on our deck last night.  I had a glass of pinot noir on the table beside me, and was minding me own beeswax, so to speak.

A bee, like the one in the photo above, came out of nowhere and flew directly, seemingly intentionally, into my glass of wine, then proceeded to do the backstroke in the wine in the glass.

As much as this sounds like I’m making up this story, I’m being literal: a large, healthy bee, managed to ruin my glass of red wine, while having himself the best swim ever.

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IT WAS HILARIOUS TO WATCH HIM going around in circles inside the glass, of course.  However, at the same time, it was damned annoying because the wine wasn’t a cheap bottle of plonk– and I had to toss the contents of the glass, bee and all, over the side of the deck onto the grass below.

Zen-Den, gracious human being that he is, brought me another glass of wine from the bottle in the kitchen… and he handed me a paper cocktail napkin to use to cover the top of the glass while I continued to sit on the deck.

But me being me, an English major educated and encouraged to find the meaning in all things, I got lost in my head trying to figure out what it meant that a bee got buzzed, in a most dramatic way, right when I was trying to mellow out.

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THE BEST EXPLANATION I COULD COME UP WITH, based on Occam’s Razor‘s idea of simplicity + obviousness, was that the bee represented me this week, busy doing things, but not in ways that make me happy.

And that following the bee’s lead, I needed to speed up my wine consumption if I was to have as much fun and relaxation as this uninvited bee was having in my wine glass.

So, not being one to argue with Scientific Logic, or the Serendipitous Nature of the Universe, I drank my first glass of wine. Then sipped another one. And suddenly, as if it was all meant to be, everything seemed right within my world. 

Share Your World | Who You Calling A Birdbrain?

Once a week Cee asks the questions on her blog, and I answer them here on my blog.  You can join in this week’s Share Your World Challenge by clicking here.

• List some of your favorites types of teas.

  • Oolong
  • Irish Breakfast Tea
  • Orange Pekoe
  • Peppermint

• If you had to describe your day as a traffic sign, what would it be?

“GO RIGHT TO TURN LEFT”  This is my favorite traffic sign ever.  I saw it years ago in a small town in MA.  This sign, which makes no sense and perfect sense at the same time, aptly summarizes my days.

• What are a couple of things that people could do for you on a really bad day that would really help you?

Bring me food, then leave me alone. Check on me, then leave me alone. Pretty much, leave me alone… I’m having a bad day here. 

• Irregardless [sic] of your physical fitness, coordination or agility: If you could be an athlete what would you do?  Remember this is SYW, dreaming is always allowed.

Oh, I could be a swimmer, I suppose.  Meaning I’d have to have muscles and feel comfortable wearing a swimsuit in public and have eyes that aren’t irritated by chlorine and hair that doesn’t get frizzy near humidity.  So, sure, if I must be an athlete, and all the previous conditions have been met, then I’ll happily be a swimmer.

• Optional Bonus Question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

Last week’s gratitude award goes to the video below that demonstrates how to put an adhesive bandage on your finger so that it’ll cover the boo-boo and stay in place.  I’m inspired by this video– and am almost looking forward to doing that which it shows me how to do.  Who knew?

This week’s looking forward to something goes to the distinct possibility that our new washer and dryer will be installed in our newly updated laundry room.  When that happens, we’ll have a working clothes dryer for the first time since April– and a better washing machine for the first time in years.  *fingers crossed* 

Carelessness, Coupons, And Cake– OH MY!

It would seem that at some point in the recent past we stole our neighbor’s mail.  Well, we didn’t intentionally steal it as much as we accidentally acquired their mail.

My defense for this lapse is that we aren’t mail thieves, per se, as much as distracted, pre-elderly homeowners who assume any and all mail in our mailbox is, indeed, our mail.

But that assumption would be wrong. Oh yes, so wrong.

In fact, I wouldn’t have noticed this theft accidental acquirement if not for the good old coupons.  You know, the paper kind that come in the mail IF you’re a Kroger Plus Customer.

I’m talking about the ones that are specifically sent to you because you buy the same stuff over and over.

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Look at those shopping carts all lined up. So tidy.  {Photo via Pixabay by Michael Gaida}

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IT’S LIKE THIS, my gentle readers: the other day I went to get our mail from our mailbox and I see that our monthly Kroger Plus Customer coupon envelope is among the letters/junk mail in my hand.  I go inside the house, open the envelope, whereupon I feast my eyes on our very special and specific coupons.

[Some of which are for FREE money off your order if you spend a certain amount of money at the checkout.  This is normal.]

But it dawns on me that just a few days before Zen-Den had retrieved the mail from the mailbox, opened what he assumed was our Kroger Plus Customer envelope and left the coupons on the kitchen counter for me to file.

Which I hadn’t done yet.

Suddenly I start looking at these coupons on the counter, thinking how peculiar it is that we have coupons for Hubba Bubba bubble gum, and Annie’s Organic Cinnamon Rolls with Icing, and Simply Potatoes frozen potatoes. Items we don’t buy. Ever.

[I also notice that the FREE coupons are for things like Betty Crocker cake mix, not for FREE money.  That’s not our normal.]

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Look at Barney Kroger, founder of the Kroger supermarket chain. So dapper.  {photo source here via Library of Congress}

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SLOWLY IT DAWNS on me that the coupons we have sitting on our kitchen counter are someone else’s coupons.  And because the envelope that these coupons came in is long gone, there’s no way to return the coupons to them.

Meaning, of course, that we, the Beans, jointly and severally, are miscreants of the lowest order, stealing [acquiring?] grocery coupons from our neighbors, like we’re two addled-brained overwrought suburbanites without the sense to read the front of an envelope.

Which clearly we are… but does not necessarily mean that we’re above using an accidentally acquired coupon to get a free box of cake mix.

Because, you know, CAKE!

Share Your World | Growing On A Vine

Once a week Cee asks the questions on her blog, and I answer them here on my blog.  You can join in the Share Your World Challenge by clicking here.

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•  What is your favorite cheese?

Swiss.  Cute holes, lovely color, mild taste.

•  Are you left or right handed [sic]?

Right-handed, unless I’m using a computer mouse, then I’m left-handed.

•  Do you prefer exercising your mind or your body? How frequently do you do either?

I prefer exercising my mind, but reluctantly admit that exercising my body can, on occasion, be ok, too.  I exercise my mind and body often enough to not decline into complete decrepitude, but not often enough to be an inspiration to anyone.  I get by, you know.

•  Complete this sentence: Hot days are …

… a reason to remember that things can work out for the best.  Once upon a time I thought that I wanted to live in southern Florida and was sad that we didn’t end up there.  But now I’m happy that we stayed in the midwest because I only have to put up with humid 90ÂşF+ days, that I now find to be annoying, for a few months each year.

•  Optional Bonus Question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

Last week’s gratitude award goes to the Dr. Who franchise for picking a woman, Jodie Whittaker, to be the 13th Doctor.  IT’S ABOUT TIME.  We all need to see more female protagonists on the screen [and in real life, too].  I never enjoyed Peter Capaldi as the Doctor, the plot lines were too dark and twisted for me, so I stopped watching the show.  But now, with a new female Doctor, I’m interested again.

This week’s looking forward to something goes to baking a cake.  The details of which I’ll tell you about on my next post.

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