And Then It Was Time For Me To Say Goodbye

September 30, 2025 / Ally Bean / 272 Comments

The following may come as a shock to some, less so to others, but after bouncing around in the blogosphere since 2004 I’m ending The Spectacled Bean, an almost 15 year old blog*. I feel it is time for me, a free spirit, to move on.

I need a change of scenery.

Something simple and new.

Without a doubt I’ve enjoyed being here, sharing my flapdoodle & twaddle, chatting in the comments, learning about how other people live their lives, introducing bloggers to other bloggers. I appreciate the support and attention that you, my gentle readers and kind lurkers, have shown me.

Thank you. You are awesome.

But you know that, right?

Truth is I don’t know what I’ll do next online. Maybe another personal blog with a different name and focus? I’ve seen that done successfully. Maybe a Substack? They’re a thing now. Maybe I’ll join former bloggy friends who currently post exclusively on Instagram? That’s another possibility.

No need to rush into anything.

Something will pique my interest when the time is right**.

And with that I shall formally say goodbye knowing that this little corner of the blogosphere is the best. A smart place where ideas flow and solutions abound. A magical place where dreams unfold in real time. A fun place where cool people hang out.

Do good. Play nice. Take joy.

Later, kids.

* First post here.

** Leaning into one of my favorite sayings: when the student is ready the teacher will come.

[PLEASE NOTE: I’m aware that WP comments are glitchy again. I feel this is providential, a confirmation that it’s time for me to end this blog. It’s like WordPress is saying don’t let the door hit you on your backside on the way out. 🫤]

Hello, Friends: Letting The Sunshine Shine + Shifting To A Lighter Blogging Schedule

April 8, 2025July 1, 2025 / Ally Bean / 190 Comments

ABOUT THE SUNSHINE

I haven’t done something like this old-school style blogging prompt in years*.

So when Vicki nominated me for Kimberly’s “Sunshine Blogger Award” I thought why not do this? I want to join in the fun— so I have.

Here goes.

I. The guidelines from Kimberly about the “Sunshine Blogger Award”:

• Display the award’s official logo somewhere on your blog. [look up]
• Thank the person who nominated you. [THANK YOU Vicki]
• Provide a link to your nominator’s blog. [Victoria Ponders]
• Answer your nominator’s questions. [look down]
• Nominate up to 11 bloggers. [everyone, anyone, no one, IT’S UP TO YOU]
• Ask your nominees 11 questions. [bottom of this section]
• Notify your nominees by commenting on at least one of their blog posts. [let the COMMENT LOVE flow]

II. The questions from Vicki:

What is your morning routine?

I get up 6:30 a.m., drink coffee, gaze at nature, and attempt to engage my brain. I’m like molasses slowly oozing into the day. No loud noises or bright lights please.

What is your favorite season? Why?

Autumn. It’s pretty, the leaves on the trees are glorious colors, and the summer humidity is over so I feel relaxed.

What is your favorite childhood memory?

Riding my tricycle that I got for Christmas, maybe age 4? It was too big for me so my dad put wooden blocks on the pedals so I could use it. I was a speed demon.

Who or what has been your most unlikely teacher?

Phony self-absorbed people have taught me that: 1) I’m friendlier & more emotionally balanced than I ever realized; 2) it’s not always a bad thing to be ignored; and 3) their reactions to me have nothing to do with me.

Who or what are you most proud of?

Librarians. They know things. They know where to find the information. They know how to keep you up-to-date. They know the good stories. They are a valuable resource, now more so than ever.

What is something that surprises people about you?

I like wearing eyeglasses, hence the title of this blog. Don’t be talking smack about spectacles.

What motivated you to start blogging?

Curiosity to see if I could. Free time courtesy of a yearlong recuperation period from emergency surgery. Orneriness.

What forms of entertainment do you enjoy the most?

I like TV series, often mysteries or sitcoms, which I watch one episode a night. Never binge watch. I also like walking in parks or nature preserves.

If you are a book reader, do you prefer a paper copy or a digital copy?

I read paper books. I want to use a proper bookmark and have a book I can gift to a Little Free Library— of which there are many around here.

What’s your favorite music genre, and who is your favorite singer?

I like contemporary jazz, r&b, soft rock, and classical. Favorite singer? I dunno, not sure I have one.

What societal causes do you care about the most?

Health & Education: food, shelter, water, medicines/vaccinations, safety, public schools, libraries. Any and all things that help a person physically and mentally thrive.

III. My questions for you, my intrepid bloggers:

Favorite color?
Favorite animal?
Favorite mantra?
Favorite number?
Favorite curse word?
Favorite drink?
Favorite holiday?
Favorite cookie?
Favorite movie?
Favorite flower?
Favor question here?

* In 2012 I answered Polly’s questions for my “Sunshine Award” and am now using some of her questions here.

ABOUT THE BLOGGING SCHEDULE

As the old saying goes: If something works, stick with it.

To those who’ve been around The Spectacled Bean for a few years it’ll come as no surprise when I tell you that as of today I’ll be shifting to my spring/summer posting schedule.

As you may remember, or will learn right now, this simply means I’ll post my flapdoodle and twaddle once every two weeks, usually on a Tuesday or Wednesday, turning this into a fortnightly blog.

I appreciate everyone who reads and comments on this weblog. Y’all are the best, you make blogging fun. In fact without your support, my gentle readers + kind lurkers + wordy commenters, this blog would have crashed and burned a long time ago.

Thank You!

Welcome: A Few Meandering Thoughts About Being Gladly Received

March 25, 2025March 26, 2025 / Ally Bean / 205 Comments

I take my blog prompts where I find them…

Years ago I remember reading an article about how to connect with people, online and in real life. The gist of the article was about ways to make sure you’ll be gladly received, appreciated even by the people you meet.

In retrospect I realize that the article touched on ideas you might find in Norman Vincent Peale’s ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ but that’s not what the article was about. It was a modern take.

According to the article the formula for being included was simple. Initially you establish yourself as memorable, then you apply yourself to being likable. A leads to B, familiarity with your uniqueness leads to people feeling comfortable around you. Then as long as you are consistent, you will be welcomed.

I’ve never definitively decided what I think about this advice, however it’s stuck with me— maybe to be shared and discussed in this very moment.

🔹 Playing the part of devil’s advocate here, first off it seems to me that being memorable can be a slippery slope. It’s great if you’re remembered for doing something ostensibly positive, but how many times do you remember someone because of the less positive thing that they did?

[QUICK: elementary school – who threw up in class? high school – who was stoned more often than not? college – who got caught cheating on an exam?]*

🔹 Then of course there’s also the issue of the definition of likable. Without using a dictionary, mine would be something along the lines of:

friendly, warm, non-judgmental
assertive but not aggressive
truthfulness wrapped in kindness

How would you define a likable person? Are you one? Is this something you aim to be?

🔹 And as for consistent, something I think of as being conscientious, but of course could also mean consistently not being conscientious, I’d suggest that most people don’t pay close enough attention to what other people do to really notice if someone is consistent.

Thus I will conclude by saying that the foregoing, my gentle readers and kind lurkers, is nothing more than my addled brain’s meanderings, unfiltered and with no hidden agenda, after seeing the word WELCOME on a wooden container holding a few tulip bulbs.

This is what I thought about.

Any remarks, regrets, reconsiderations you’d like to add?

* In fourth grade – Janie who was shy and scared to stand up in front of the class, threw up in front of the class while giving her report on how to play her flute. Vomit went everywhere, including inside her flute. She didn’t return to class for a few days.

In high school – Doug who was a kid who lived down the street from me on the swankier end of the street, had a ready supply of weed. He enhanced his social standing by putting vodka dyed dark green into an empty Chloraseptic sore throat spray bottle that he carried around, happy to spray some into your mouth.

In college – Susan who was smart but lived in fear of not being perfect, was caught sneaking around in the library cheating on a take home honor system exam. She cried her way into being allowed to take it a second time. She got an A+ of course.

A Text Not Meant For Me, A Game Not Played By Me

March 18, 2025 / Ally Bean / 257 Comments

IT WAS AROUND THIS TIME 5 years ago when I lost touch with, let’s call her, Kathleen the Control Freak— a natural born queen bee, uptight and competitive.

The Covid-19 pandemic lockdown had just begun. I’d texted her to make sure she was doing okay and got a terse reply something to the effect of: “Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”

I responded with a polite “Just checking in” and left it at that.

During the next few months I tried a few more times to text her, our usual way of communicating, but got no reply.

Crickets make more noise.

Come December we didn’t receive a holiday card from Kathleen the Control Freak which confirmed I no longer existed in her small world which, truthfully, I was happy to not be part of anymore.

I’ve never been good in the role of a wannabe to a queen bee.

• • •

FAST FORWARD TO A FEW weeks ago when Kathleen the Control Freak texted me, including me in a group text to friends who play pickleball at her club. This seemed odd because: 1) her previous behavior over the last five years suggested I am persona non grata; and 2) I don’t play pickleball.

I believe I was accidentally included.

At this point, fun as it would have been to text a group reply about this queen bee’s error, I did not do that. Instead I watched in real time as everyone, a group of women who’d never give me the time of day, texted among themselves.

From this I observed that these women, who gushed and fawned over each other, waited dutifully for Kathleen the Control Freak to establish dominance by dictating where and when they’d be going to breakfast together the next morning after she finished her 8:00 a.m. pickleball game.

Queens gotta rule all the courts.

• • •

NOW AS YOU CAN IMAGINE this experience left me with a few things to consider.

• I wondered why Kathleen the Control Freak, a perfectionist along the lines of Martha Stewart, still has my phone number, presumably for some reason, in her exalted list of contacts.

I admit this seemed odd to me but also not worth dwelling on. Her number is no longer in my contacts and that’s what matters to me.

• I wondered why I’d ever considered Kathleen the Control Freak to be a friend. Was I wrong when I thought she was fun to be around? Or have we both changed over the years— she getting bossier, me getting mellower?

That’s the conclusion I’m sticking with because I see no need to overthink why someone ghosts you.

• But most importantly, and this is where the snark is, I wondered about whether I should be mischievous and show up to join the group for breakfast the next morning.

After all I knew the details of the plan to get together, didn’t I?

But I didn’t go. For one thing it’d have been an hour drive to get to their side of town and that seemed more bothersome & petty than worthwhile & victorious.

And for another thing despite contemplating this way to upset them, in reality I didn’t care about whatever the heck was going on with this group of grown-up mean girls.

Under the circumstances, would you?