L Is For Lime, Like It Or Not

April 14, 2016May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 30 Comments

Take life with a Grain of salt, a Slice of lime, and a shot of tequila

… is good advice that I’ve never taken literally because I don’t like to drink shots of tequila.

If I might be allowed to combine these ingredients with some simple syrup into a margarita on the rocks, then I’m right there with you chilling out about life, being cool about things.

Which is what I take this slang saying to mean.

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OF COURSE if we happen to make it two margaritas, then I’m singing a song about a lime.

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AND IF by chance we make it three margaritas? I’m wearing a sombrero because like Hobbes says: “What fun is it being ‘cool’ if you can’t wear a sombrero!”

{ From Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Patterson }

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B Is For Bananas, Because Why Not?

April 2, 2016May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 29 Comments

cuckoo bananas

… is a slang phrase that I stumbled upon while reading blogs.

When I began to see it written around ye olde worldwide web I needed to know what it meant. Upon learning that it’s a way of saying someone is crazy in a cool way, I decided to adopt this phrase as my very own and use it in polite conversation.

This is because I have found over the years that one can never have too many vague, but accurate, ways to tell someone else that he or she is slightly out of his or her mind, but you like them anyhow.

N’est ce-pas?

• • •

{ SOMETHING TO WATCH FOR FUN }

“…but bananas like the climate of a very, very tropical equator, so you should never ever put bananas, in the refrigerator.”

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A Is For Artichoke, A Good Place To Begin

April 1, 2016May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 25 Comments

Okie-dokie, artichokie

… is a slang phrase that I’m guessing everyone has heard, read, or said. It’s one of those goofy ways to communicate agreement without committing to too much interest.

I use the phrase from time-to-time because there are moments when it is appropriate.

For instance, when your husband is telling you a detailed analysis of his current sock situation, and you would prefer that he get to the bottom line of this sock soliloquy, because if he wants you to buy him some more socks, just say so.

But there he is staring into his sock drawer, reflecting upon his hole-y, muddled mess-o-socks, while you stand by patiently, not caring at all about the finer nuances of his sock preferences, but pretending that it matters to you.

That’s when a wise woman says “okie-dokie, artichokie,” then goes to Kohl’s and buys him whatever socks are on sale that day.

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{ SOMETHING TO DO FOR FUN }

Take the Can You Identify These Vegetables? Quiz. Helpful hint: the first answer is artichoke.

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The Unsolved Case Of The Purloined Tomatoes

July 17, 2014July 29, 2015 / Ally Bean / 51 Comments

As I was walking around the back of the house on a bright and sunny summer morning I noticed that a red ripe tomato from my container garden on the deck above had fallen onto the path below.

Curious as always I wondered: How did that happen?

So I walked up onto the deck where I discovered more tomatoes off the vine. Tomatoes with little teeth-y marks on them. Tomatoes that seemed to have somehow fallen from the vine prematurely.

– • –

Immediately my mind went to our ~~favorite sneak~~ resident squirrel, Fuzzy. So I bided my time and waited to talk with him when he stopped by for his daily afternoon visit.

After we exchanged the usual pleasantries, I looked him straight in the eye and asked: Fuzzy, do you notice anything different around here? There seems to have been a crime committed. A theft.

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To his credit Fuzzy took the time to look around before he denied all culpability in the crime. He looked to his left.

He looked to his right.

He glanced immediately below onto the deck.

Then he suggested that the real culprit in this crime was that nasty old raccoon who lives in the old tree on the other side of the ravine.

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When I mentioned that the nasty old raccoon hadn’t been seen in years and was presumed dead, and therefore incapable of stealing green or red tomatoes, Fuzzy ignored me. This was of no concern to him.

Having answered my questions to his satisfaction, Fuzzy then set about doing that which he had come to do: he started licking the terra-cotta pot to get his afternoon salt feast.