Organizing Gibberish Thusly

September 2, 2015August 29, 2018 / Ally Bean / 31 Comments

First leaf with Autumn color says, “Look at me!”

THIS WEEK I’VE BEEN SORTING through my desk drawers and my computer files. I save lots of ideas, either scribbled on bits of paper or quickly typed on computer sticky notes.

I keep these ideas as prompts just in case I need something to write about here.

Like today.

MOST OF MY SAVED ITEMS are snippets of thoughts that float through my mind while I’m doing something else, so they’re not fully formed ideas. In fact, they are generally pure gibberish.

But I continue to believe that one of these saved items will be the best idea ever, so I’m reluctant to throw any of them away– until I do.

I could be deluded, of course.

[Rather like Gayle King and her massive purse + jewelry collection, featured in O magazine this month. It’s a collection so unwieldy that it required an outsider to sort through it, culling out that which no longer serves her.]

[Alright, maybe my little pile of ideas is nothing like Gayle’s purse collection, but you get my drift. Too much of anything is confusing.]

Underwhelming decorative Summer grass says, “I’m not dead yet!”

I WON’T BURDEN YOU WITH a list of my half-formed ideas. I respect your time and sanity, my gentle readers.

But I just wanted to let you know that I’m still moseying along the blogging trail.

Tossing and deleting the gibberish as I go.

Pedicures & Color Possibilities: A Husband Weighs In

August 27, 2015May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 30 Comments

The Compete Cutex Manicure, 1933 via The Vintage Site

I only asked him as a courtesy. I didn’t think that he’d have opinion, but he did.

And it surprised me.

I’d sorted through my bottles of nail polish, throwing out shades that I hated or bottles with lids that no longer opened. I was left with 5 shades:

Houston We Have Purple by OPI [dark dramatic shiny purple]
From A To Zurich by OPI [dark maroon]
Strawberry Margarita by OPI [bright bold pink]
Incognito by Dior [neutral beige-y medium pink]
Nail Glow by Dior [sheer pinkish purple that makes nail tips look white like a French manicure]

So there I sat, on the screened-in porch, trying to decide which of the above colors I was going to put on my little piggies. About 90% of the time I wear the Dior Incognito because it’s classy and goes with everything.

I repeat, everything.

But Zen-Den was out there on the porch with me, too. So I asked him which color he thought that I should wear. And the color he picked was…

Of Chips & Buns, Making Small Talk At The Dinner Table

August 25, 2015 / Ally Bean / 27 Comments

I. The scene

Zen-Den and I went to dinner at a Tex-Mex place. Sitting there at our table, me sipping a frozen Texas Twister, him drinking a Dos Eqius, waiting for our tortilla chips to arrive, we got to talking.

II. The Subject

Thinking about the recent news story that I’d seen that day, I asked Zen-Den what he thought about man buns. Specifically, the man buns of Disney.

I figured that the sports babble radio guys who he listens to during his daily commute would have had something to say about man buns. But apparently they’re not as aware of male hairstyles as one might hope.

Zen-Den had no idea what I was talking about.

III. The Conversation

He asked: What kind of buns? Ones that you eat?

I said: No!

He said: Buns with your hair? On men?

I said: Yes, the ones on your head.

He asked: Like granny buns?

I said: No, not like Granny Clampett. More like sumo wrestlers.

He said: The guys are fat?

I said: No. I don’t think so. Maybe some are. The photos show thin guys.

He said: There are photos? Where?

I said: Online. In a blog or something, I think. I read an article.

He said: So these thin guys pull their hair up and twist it into a bun?

I said: Yes!

He said: How?

I said: I don’t know. It’s just up there. Maybe with a scrunchie? Or bobby pins?

He said: Why do they do it?

I said: It’s probably a thing like being a hipster with your hat. Or those “git r done” guys with their shaved heads. It’s cool, I guess.

He said: Why?

I said: I dunno. Because men are stupid?

He said: That’s true… that’s very true.

I said: I’ll send you the link to the article.

He said: Nah. I don’t want to see it. Sounds weird. That’s why I like listening to radio. I don’t have to see any pictures of stupid men.

IV. The Conclusion

The conversation ended when our server brought us fresh homemade chips and salsa. They captured Zen-Den’s attention, so he was no longer interested in cross-examining me about man buns.

I stopped talking about them, but will admit that I enjoyed watching a middle age business guy struggle with the idea of men wearing their hair in an up-do… just because they can.

A Camellia In My Hair. If Only It Was That Simple.

August 11, 2015August 11, 2015 / Ally Bean / 36 Comments

Click here for more style advice.

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I am a hypocrite.

If you choose to walk away from this blog and never read another thing here, I understand. No one wants to follow a hypocrite.

Even a sincere, idealistic, middle-aged poser such as myself.

You see, for YEARS I’ve said to anyone who’d listen, that when the time came, when the moment arrived, when faced with THE DECISION, I’d go forward.

Boldly.

Into the unknown with head held high.

I would not weasel out of the truth by using chemical substances to cover the obvious. I would allow myself to go gray.

Naturally.

But last week, while getting my hair highlighted and cut, my stylist asked me, WITHOUT SO MUCH AS ONE WORD OF WARNING, if I was ready to go gray now.

She told me that underneath the two-tone highlights for which I pay a fortune, my natural hair color is 50% gray. Meaning that if I wanted to, I could stop the highlights, save money and go gray.

But without one moment of thought, throwing aside all my highfalutin talk about aging gracefully, I shouted: NO. I WANT TO BE BLONDE.

Make me blonde, please.

And so it came to be that my hypocritical nature came to light. Loud & clear. And I walked away from the salon with silvery golden blonde hair.