An Observation On The Unintended Consequences Of The Behavior Of Elderly In-laws Who Watch The Weather Channel

June 8, 2014June 9, 2014 / Ally Bean / 14 Comments

Not covering any new ground here, but needs to be said. Love is a strange thing.

Every time the Weather Channel shows bad weather where we live, my in-laws, who live hours away from here, phone us to make sure that we’re okay.

At age 80+ they do not believe in calling a cell phone number because they believe that talking on the phone while driving a car is dangerous. And because they do not know if either one of us will be in our car when we answer our cell phones, they leave a message on our landline answering machine.

The messages are all about the same. First, they say our names, then tell us who is calling. Then they hang up without telling us why they called. No good-bye, just click and the line goes dead.

It is from this pattern of behavior that we have come to know when bad weather is headed our way. The lack of concrete message is the clue.

Because we both are too busy to spend much time in front of the TV this sort of non-message phone message has come to be our own special, personalized form of the Weather Channel. And we love it.

And them for doing it.

As Summer Begins, A Snake In The Mulch

June 3, 2014June 3, 2014 / Ally Bean / 14 Comments

Neither one of us asked why it was there. Or how it got there. No, we went straight to the WHAT IS IT DOING? question.

I was standing outside on the front sidewalk talking with the UPS delivery woman. She had dropped off a package, knocked on the front door and was walking back to her truck when she saw it.

When I opened the front door to retrieve the package she turned to me and pointed to [what I believe is, but could be wrong about] a milk snake in the planting bed nearest the house. I walked out to where she was standing and saw Milky.

He was doing his snake-y thing. Slithering. Sticking his head into various heretofore unnoticed holes in the ground around the roses.

# # #

After watching Milky together, the UPS delivery woman told me that this was her first snake on the job. She’d been warned that things like this could happen, especially out in wooded suburban developments.

For her, Milky was a milestone. And she left our property with a smile on her face, pleased with her find.

# # #

But as for me, Milky’s existence has brought a new level anxiety to my life. I realize that if he can get into the planting beds this close to the house, he can slither his way up onto our front door stoop and greet me when I step out of the house using the front door.

So, I’ve done the only thing that I know to do. I’ve put a note on the inside of the front door where I will see it before I open the door. The note is short and to the point. It says: REMEMBER THE SNAKE.

And with that thought in mind, my summer begins.

The “So, Do You Like Me More?” Experiment

May 30, 2014May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 18 Comments

{ Photo Source Here }

• • •

This is an experiment. You, my gentle readers, are the control group. Below I will post a little paragraph for you to read, then you’ll be asked to answer a few easy questions. Thank you in advance for your participation in this experiment of dubious value that is perfect for a Friday morning blog post.

• • •

The Paragraph:

Here’s what’s happening. Sir &/or Ma’am, I appreciate that your time is limited so I can’t help but wonder: how can I help? I ask this because I believe in you. I’ll find out the answer to this question and then when you thank me, I’ll be able to say the best words ever: you’re welcome.

The Questions:

1) Having read the above do you inexplicably like me more than you did before?

2) Which specific words in the above paragraph do you believe made you like me more?

3) Is it possible that by using 19 Words That Will Make People Like You More I have become the ~~most desperate for something to write about~~ most well-loved & respected blogger ever?

Bonus Question – Does anyone else count only 18 words on the 19 word list? Just wondering.

• • •

I await your answers in the comment section below.

Friday Wisdom Brought To You By My Addled Brain + The Breakfast Club

May 16, 2014February 27, 2015 / Ally Bean / 8 Comments

In my addled brain, one thought leads to another.

~ • ~

I bought some new nail polish. It looks like this color.

~ • ~

I put the polish on my toenails and then put on a pair of leather sandals that are in this color.

~ • ~

The color combo reminded me of Claire Standish, played by Molly Ringwald, in The Breakfast Club.

~ • ~

When this movie came out, like every other girl of a certain age, I wanted to dress like Claire. Truth be known, I still kinda want to dress like Claire.

~ • ~

Do you realize that it was 1985 when this movie was released? This means that I’ve grooved on this stylish look and quoted what I believe to be two of the best movie lines ever… for 29 years. Oh my!

~ • ~

[Image Sources: 1) me; 2) Pantone here; 3) Pantone here; 4) Elle magazine, courtesy of Universal Pictures, here; 5) Not So Witty Witterings here; 6) me.]