Orange You Glad To See Me?

Every morning Zen-Den gets into Bullwinkle, his 12-year-old Lexus SUV, and drives downtown to go to work.  I wave goodbye from our doorstep with a mug of coffee in my hand– and a prayer of gratitude in my heart that he deals with traffic & office politics for both of us.

And me?  What do I do then?  Well, I go back inside the house, take care of the homestead, and write to my heart’s content.  Great job if you can get it.

HOWEVER, on occasion I do venture out of the house and wander around out there in the world.  And often times– well, most times— I don’t tell Z-D what I’m doing because, quite frankly, he doesn’t care about the minutiae of my daily life.  Nor should he.

So yesterday as I was pulling into a parking lot in front of a store I suddenly remembered that Z-D had told me that morning that he’d be out of the office– and in this particular part of town later in the day.  Which made me wonder if he’d parked in this lot, too.

After a bit of driving up and down the rows, I found The ‘Winkle parked by an empty spot in the lot.  Naturally I parked my car in that empty spot.  And then I looked around to find a piece of paper to leave a note on Bullwinkle for Z-D.  But, alas and alack, I had no paper in the car or in my purse.

[A Digression: How could that possibly happen?  Am I not the child of a compulsive note taker & a dedicated list maker?  This, my gentle readers, is an oversight on my part that is causing my parents to roll in their graves.  You mark my words.  Rolling.]

The only thing that I could find to write on in the car was a magazine insert.  You know, one of those annoying rectangles of advertising gibberish that fall out of all magazines.  So, reluctantly, I used it to write a short hi! note to Zen-Den.  Then, with it in hand, I got out of my car.

But the good Lord provides, doesn’t He?  Oh. Yes. He. Does.

And what did my eyes spy as I got out of my car?  I saw, almost under Bullwinkle’s back tire, an orange.  A bright, lovely piece of not-quite-rotten fruit that had rolled out of someone else’s car– and had come to a stop by The ‘Winkle.  So I picked it up, examined it for icky-ness, decided that it was serviceable as a fun addition to my note, and laid it against Bullwinkle’s windshield where Z-D would see it when he got into the SUV.  No missing it.

Then I quickly re-worded my note on the magazine insert by adding a bad pun– and a warning to not eat the fruit because I’d found it on the ground.  I secured the note under Bullwinkle’s windshield wiper blade and walked away from the scene.

CLEARLY, all that was left for me to do was to go about my day and wait to hear from the Hubster… which I knew that I would eventually.  In fact, about an hour later he phoned to congratulate me on getting his attention, to thank me for my gift of found fruit– and to ask what I was doing in that part of town.

And that, kids, is how Zen-Den and I roll here in the ‘burbs.  With mushy fruit and hasty messages.  Making the best of any situation and adding a few laughs along the way.

Good life, this one.  Orange Aren’t you glad to know me?

Those Were The Days. Not.

“Boy, the way Glenn Miller played…”

I’ve had the theme song from All In The Family trapped in my head for the last few days.  Most unpleasant.  I’m not entirely sure how the song got there.  I haven’t been watching much TV besides reruns of The Big Bang Theory— which are on a hip channel that is the antithesis of a nostalgic channel that’d be showing Archie & Edith.

So I don’t think that I’ve seen any commercials that would have put that song into my head.  Wonder where it came from?

“Guys like us, we had it made…”

I never really liked All In The Family when I first saw it on TV.  I understood that Archie was a reactionary, selfish male.  I got that Edith was a doormat who never stood up for herself due to some misguided sense of duty toward Archie.  And I realized that Gloria, in her attempts to help her mother, was locked in an never-ending battle with her father.

“Didn’t need no welfare state…”

But the satire of the show was lost on me.  In fact it wasn’t until a few years ago that it dawned on me that some people weren’t laughing at Archie.  That instead, some people were laughing with Archie.  I have my FIL to thank for that revelation.

“Gee, our old LaSalle ran great…”

I couldn’t tell you when I last saw an episode of All In The Family.  I imagine that if I saw it now, I’d probably get the two-sided humor and enjoy it.  I’m older, wiser, and much more open to different points of view– as happens when you mature and are comfortable with who you are.  So the satire might appeal to me now.

“And you knew who you were then…”

But, quite frankly, with all the political nonsense that is going on in the USA now, I don’t think that I’m up to watching yet another old white male pontificate on things that he knows nothing about.  My patience for such rhetoric, humorous as it can sometimes be, is all used up.

“Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again…”

Which, now that I think about it, might explain why this theme song has infiltrated my brain.  Discourse during these last few weeks, to put it politely, has involved way too much looking backward and not enough going forward.  Reminding me, and any woman who can think for herself, that trapped in the past is no way to live.

Don’t fool yourself, those weren’t the days.

###

“Those Were The Days”
by Lee Adams and Charles Strouse

Boy, the way Glen Miller played. Songs that made the hit parade.
Guys like us, we had it made. Those were the days.
Didn’t need no welfare state. Everybody pulled his weight.
Gee, our old LaSalle ran great. Those were the days.
And you know who you were then, girls were girls and men were men.
Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.
People seemed to be content. Fifty dollars paid the rent.
Freaks were in a circus tent. Those were the days.
Take a little Sunday spin, go to watch the Dodgers win.
Have yourself a dandy day that cost you under a fin.
Hair was short and skirts were long. Kate Smith really sold a song.
I don’t know just what went wrong. Those Were The Days.

[source]

###

I Link. You Click. We Chat.

*  Most inexplicable search term that brought someone to my blog: if i were a bird I’d be an apple.

*  Most intriguing way to start conversations with children: 1973 classroom discussion posters.

*  Most unexpected flashback to my younger days: i make things happen. i’m a catalyst.

*  Most wonderful tutorial about painting your home: how to paint perfect lines.

*  Most logical idea that will make my life better: weekly chore schedule.

*  Most confusing online discussion of the week: pinterest-gate.

*  Most entertaining political website ever: i ride inside.

*  Most interesting test that you must take: word association study.

*  Most beautiful advert with useful information on it: left brain/right brain.

*  Most delightful analysis of online friendships: 10 annoying social media friends.

*  Most remarkable personal revelation about how to cook: crock pot baked potatoes.

*  Most useful exercise in self-awareness that you need to do: your eight auspicious symbols.

*  Most unique glimpse back in time: a few important suggestions for the use of your dial telephone.

The First Conversation Of The Day

•  Here’s what I said to Zen-Den first thing this morning:

“What do you want to do… oh never mind, we can’t do that.”

•  Here’s what I was thinking as I said what I said:

“What do you want to do…

…it’s cold outside this morning, we should make waffles… yeah waffles… oh no, we don’t have any whole wheat flour or buttermilk to make Alton Brown‘s basic waffles… phooey… hey wait a minute, we could make those cornmeal waffles that are so good with maple syrup on them… yeah waffles… wait… i used all the cornmeal last week to make cornbread to go with the chili… humph… i really need to put those items on the grocery list…

oh never mind, we can’t do that.”

•  Here’s what he said to me upon hearing my statement:

“Of course.”

•  And then here is what he did– and has continued to do off and on for the last three hours.  He stepped away from me as if he was on stage, and started singing/dancing/arm moving to the Backstreet Boys classic hit, “I Want It That Way.” Except that he changed the words to:

“I WANT IT YOUR WAY.”

•  And here is what I’m thinking:

Great idea.  But could you lose the bad singing, goofy dancing and ridiculous arm gestures when saying it.  It’d make me think that you were more sincere– and really meant what you are saying!