Maybe…

Welcome: A Few Meandering Thoughts About Being Gladly Received

/ Ally Bean / 205 Comments

I take my blog prompts where I find them…

Years ago I remember reading an article about how to connect with people, online and in real life. The gist of the article was about ways to make sure you’ll be gladly received, appreciated even by the people you meet.

In retrospect I realize that the article touched on ideas you might find in Norman Vincent Peale’s ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ but that’s not what the article was about. It was a modern take.

According to the article the formula for being included was simple. Initially you establish yourself as memorable, then you apply yourself to being likable. A leads to B, familiarity with your uniqueness leads to people feeling comfortable around you. Then as long as you are consistent, you will be welcomed.

I’ve never definitively decided what I think about this advice, however it’s stuck with me— maybe to be shared and discussed in this very moment.

🔹 Playing the part of devil’s advocate here, first off it seems to me that being memorable can be a slippery slope. It’s great if you’re remembered for doing something ostensibly positive, but how many times do you remember someone because of the less positive thing that they did?

[QUICK: elementary school – who threw up in class? high school – who was stoned more often than not? college – who got caught cheating on an exam?]*

🔹 Then of course there’s also the issue of the definition of likable. Without using a dictionary, mine would be something along the lines of:

  • friendly, warm, non-judgmental
  • assertive but not aggressive
  • truthfulness wrapped in kindness

How would you define a likable person? Are you one? Is this something you aim to be?

🔹 And as for consistent, something I think of as being conscientious, but of course could also mean consistently not being conscientious, I’d suggest that most people don’t pay close enough attention to what other people do to really notice if someone is consistent.

Thus I will conclude by saying that the foregoing, my gentle readers and kind lurkers, is nothing more than my addled brain’s meanderings, unfiltered and with no hidden agenda, after seeing the word WELCOME on a wooden container holding a few tulip bulbs.

This is what I thought about.

Any remarks, regrets, reconsiderations you’d like to add?

* In fourth grade – Janie who was shy and scared to stand up in front of the class, threw up in front of the class while giving her report on how to play her flute. Vomit went everywhere, including inside her flute. She didn’t return to class for a few days.

In high school – Doug who was a kid who lived down the street from me on the swankier end of the street, had a ready supply of weed. He enhanced his social standing by putting vodka dyed dark green into an empty Chloraseptic sore throat spray bottle that he carried around, happy to spray some into your mouth.

In college – Susan who was smart but lived in fear of not being perfect, was caught sneaking around in the library cheating on a take home honor system exam. She cried her way into being allowed to take it a second time. She got an A+ of course.

A Chance Encounter In The Cereal Aisle, An Unexpected Act Of Probably Legal Kindness

/ Ally Bean / 219 Comments

Something weird happened. Please allow me to explain.

A few weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon Zen-Den and I were shopping in Kroger. It was busy but not chaotic, for the most part shoppers were aware of each other. In fact the biggest annoyances were the extra temporary displays clogging the aisles.

Thus it was a slow process going up and down the aisles, but we weren’t in a hurry so we moseyed happily along, Z-D pushing the cart, me following behind him.

In the cereal aisle we came to a full stop when we encountered a couple in their 70s who were looking for one particular cereal. They’d abandoned their cart in the middle of the aisle and, with paper coupon in hand, were laser-focused on finding the right cereal on the shelf, wherever it might be.

We just smiled and waited.

Eventually they found their cereal and looked up to see us standing there, unperturbed. The woman, who was wearing a sweatshirt that said “You Are Enough,”  apologized to us for holding up traffic.

No problem say we and go on our way continuing to shop.

• • •

Eventually we got what we needed and went to stand in line to use the U-scan machines. After a few minutes we scored a machine and went to it.

Doing our usual grocery shopping two-step, I handed the items to Z-D. He then scanned and bagged them.

Welp, while we were doing this I noticed the older couple was now in line for the U-scans. Then kind of out of nowhere the “You Are Enough” sweatshirt woman walks up to Z-D, who is in the process of weighing fruit, and says: “Excuse me sir, these are for you.”

At which point she hands a surprised Zen-Den three flowers [seen in the photo at the top of this post]. He looks at me, like I should have a clue about why this is happening, but I shrug.

Beats me.

So he thanks her while taking the flowers that he then hands to me. She smiles and goes back to standing in line with her husband by their cart of unpaid for groceries and a bouquet of flowers.

We finish checking out, pay for our stuff, and walk out of the store with me holding what was TECHNICALLY, from a strictly legal perspective was probably, STOLEN MERCHANDISE because at that minute while we walked to our car the flowers hadn’t been purchased by the older couple who was still standing in line waiting to buy them.

I hope.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Do you believe this was a weird experience?

Has anything like this happened to you— that is, having a stranger, who might be a little Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, spontaneously hand you a gift?

Do you like the “You Are Enough” message on the woman’s sweatshirt? Was the Universe trying to tell us something or just playing mind games with us?

How often to you go grocery shopping? Do you prefer a certain day and/or time of day?

• • 🛒 • •

Ain’t We Just: Rambling Thoughts About Superpowers And Using The Powers For Good

/ Ally Bean / 190 Comments

Let’s just say for purposes of discussion that my superpower is mind reading. A fact [?] I discerned after taking this nifty National Geographic Superpower Quiz.

You see, and this was news to me but considering the source we must conclude that, superpowers aren’t just for fictional characters anymore. To wit, I proudly tell you this is who I am:

“You can read minds! Well, not exactly, but you’re very aware of how others feel.” Yep, true dat

Naturally I wanted to get a deeper understanding of who I am so I went to my old friend, Merriam-Webster, to research the word.

As one does.

According to M-W a “mind reader” is “one that professes or is held to be able to perceive another’s thought without normal means of communication” and that the first known use of the word, which in this case is actually two words but who am I to argue with M-W’s way of explaining things, occurred in 1875.

[A studious aside: In case you’re unfamiliar with M-W’s Time Traveler feature it’s fun for a wordy person. To see what it is like, click HERE and learn what other words* were new in 1875. Information like this is available under most definitions, just scroll down the page to the feature.]

Anyhoo, getting back to the discussion aspect of this post, after learning the aforementioned I started pondering, in an abstract rhetorical way, about how does one use any superpower for good:

• In general do you think, like I do, that determining and acknowledging your superpower is one thing? But implementing it, like a hero** not a villain, is another thing? Two different skill sets, two different moral cores

• And further, specifically, what do you do with the ability to read minds? It’s one thing to know what someone else is thinking but that doesn’t mean you have the capacity, or desire, to change their mind. ‘Ya know?

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

If you took the quiz, what is your superpower? OR if you don’t need a quiz to know your superpower, what is it?

Are you a wordy person who likes knowing a bit more about interesting words that appear in your life? Is Merriam-Webster your old friend, too?

When you think about fictional heroes with superpowers who comes to mind? Is the source from myths, literature, movies, TV shows, cartoons, comics, or games? Other?

~ ~ • ~ ~

* Ilsa Rey from Writing and Martial Arts is going to find one of the words on the 1875 list, linked to above, especially pertinent. Yep, I’m a mind reader.

** When I think of the word “hero” this brief conversation from the TV show Firefly flashes through my mind:

  • Mal: “Well, look at this. It appears that we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?”
  • Mal: “Ain’t we just.”

The One About Trying New Things, Setting Boundaries, & Taking A Respite, For Sooth

/ Ally Bean / 228 Comments

I’ve heard it said that when you get down to it the world is held together with safety pins and duct tape. There’s a truth to this idea, especially when I contemplate my personal blog here on ye olde WordPress.

Safety pin meet duct tape.

I’ll take credit for the safety pin part, that’d be my weekly blog posts ‘pinned’ here for all to read, contemplate, and comment on. Thank you, my fellow cool kids*, for doing so.

But the duct tape part? That’d refer to WP’s support of this blog, the way they attempt to ‘tape’ this virtual place together. And let’s just say bless their heart for trying to doing so.

Although I have to admit that some weeks I wonder how much longer WP will be around. There are glitches galore making it increasingly tedious to write, edit, format, and publish my pithy thoughts— and for you to receive them in the way I intend.

All of which brings me to the reason I’m writing this post. You see, my bloggy friends, I’m going to try something new, setting a boundary where I’m feeling drained, and taking an extended respite from writing this personal blog.

Because I’m tired of writing it**.

It really is that simple.

Tired.

As an introvert I feel that I’ve come to a point where I need a bit of space between me and whatever it is that I’m doing here. I want to relax into my real life, contemplate why I’m blogging at this point, and review what I hope to gain from writing. It’s time to reprioritize my blogging expectations.

Thus I’ll quietly duck out of here, probably returning sometime in 2025. Or maybe I’ll go elsewhere and find a new place to share my flapdoodle and twaddle.

I dunno.

And you know what? I don’t have to know right now because I’m keeping it loose, keeping it light*** by not worrying about the deets today.

Thanks to everyone who follows The Spectacled Bean, adding joy and laughter to my days. I appreciate that you’ve included me in your lives. I plan to continue checking in on yours every so often, enjoying what you have to say on your personal blogs.

Y’all are the best.

Later, kids.

* HERE is the explanation of what I mean when I talk about cool kids.

** HERE is how it has come to be that I am tired.

*** HERE is why I’m referring to wanting to keep it light.