One Last 2022 Post: Alexa Gets Nosy & I Ask You A Question

December 13, 2022December 13, 2022 / Ally Bean / 218 Comments

ALEXA GETS NOSY

“The answer is negative one.”

I was composing an email reply to a friend who’d written about a mutual acquaintance who was going through a difficult time.

I was rereading out loud what I’d written to make sure my grammar was correct and the content made sense. I’m a wordy girl after all and I take pride in how I put words together in a sentence.

Even in casual correspondence.

What I’d written, saying to myself in a quiet mumble, was: “ALSO SHE HAS ONLY ONE, NOT TWO, MEANS TO DO WHAT SHE DOES.” It was praise for our mutual acquaintance and how she was handling things.

But then out of nowhere, unasked, Alexa the little eavesdropper piped up saying the line I shared at the top of this post.

She startled me so much I jumped into the air and almost lost my stuffing. Confused and annoyed, I wanted to figure out why the heck she’d inserted herself into my life.

I looked at what I’d written then said to myself a few seconds before. I realized that Alexa had understood the word “ALSO” to be her name, then she’d interpreted what I’d said after that to be a math problem.

That is, I’d said “…ONE NOT TWO MEANS…” which she translated to the equation 1 – 2 = [one minus two equals] resulting in her reply [“the answer is negative one”] that she blurted out answering the question she thought I’d asked her.

Which, of course, I hadn’t.

And with that ridiculous realization about what had just happened, I solved my nosy Alexa mystery.

Bless. Her. Heart.

I ASK YOU A QUESTION

This will be my last blog post of 2022, but I have one last thing to ask you, my little partridges in a pear tree. I have four blog posts started, but FAR from finished. They require more research &/or introspection than I’m willing to put into them in December.

Because I want to goof off now, thus I shall write later.

Getting to what might be the actual point of this post, which one of the topics listed immediately below would you like me to write about first when I return? Yep, I’m crowdsourcing this decision so please tell me your preference in the comments. Thank you in advance for your kind cooperation concerning this matter.

granola, history of and my recipe for
answers to some of Minnie Driver’s Existential Questions
what I’m rejecting this year [2023]
the five people who helped me become the blogger I am today

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HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE

See you next year

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The Tale Of Diligent Dave & The Wily Fiber Optic Cable

December 2, 2022 / Ally Bean / 229 Comments

We were told that the switch from coaxial cable to fiber optic cable would happen on Wednesday from 8:00 a.m. to noon. Here’s what actually happened.

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This is my DIY standing desk arrangement. It’s a wonderful use for the 1966 50th Anniversary Edition of the World Book Encyclopedia.

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The following will please the optimists, inform the curious, disappoint the naysayers, and entertain the pre-amused…

At 3:00 p.m. on Tuesday we got a knock on the front door from a man who told us he was going to be digging a trench through the yard where the new cable would be buried. He did so without any fuss.

At 8:30 a.m. on Wednesday, only a half hour late, a man who I shall call Diligent Dave but Z-D refers to as That Kid, pulled into our driveway to start things rolling. Diligent Dave sat inside his truck for a while goofing around on a computer, wandered around our front yard a few times, then backed out of our driveway and drove up & down our street many times.

At 9:30 a.m. Diligent Dave came to the front door and told us:

there was something wrong, his computer indicated that the connection to the above ground fiber optic utility box on the street didn’t exist even though lines had been installed on this street earlier in the fall;
he had called the department that installed the lines to have someone come out to find out what was wrong; and
he could come inside the house and start running the cable line from the basement up to the home office while we waited to see IF the connection outside on the street really did exist.

At 11:00 a.m. a man, let’s call him Happy Henry, from the outside installation department came to the front door to talk with Diligent Dave. They chatted about what wasn’t happening.

At 11:30 a.m. two trucks, each driven by one man, arrived. After conferring with Happy Henry those two men pulled out a table and some tools. They went into the neighbor’s yard where they set up the table and started messing around with the above ground fiber optic utility box, hoping to find our house’s particular cable connection inside it.

At 12:15 p.m. a miracle occurred and voilà the “missing” outside fiber optic cable connection was found, meaning that all we needed now was for Diligent Dave to finish his job.

At 1:15 p.m. Diligent Dave succeeded in getting the cable line across the ceiling in the basement, up through the wall and into the home office… behind my desk.

At 1:20 p.m. Z-D and Diligent Dave carefully moved my desk with all the stuff on it [my desktop computer, Keyzia, included] away from the wall so that Diligent Dave could fiddle around near the baseboard and attach a small magical box to the wall.

At 1:30 p.m. our fiber optic cable connection happened. Then under Diligent Dave’s watchful eye we started testing all our electronic gadgets [computers, phones, iPad, TVs] to confirm that the wifi, now connected to the fiber optic cable, was indeed working as advertised. It was.

At 1:45 p.m. after Z-D and Diligent Dave moved my desk back into place, Diligent Dave left and there was joy in the land.

But, of course, there is more to the story, the After Party so to speak…

Once Diligent Dave left the house Zen-Den and I ducked out of the house to go to the grocery. At 2:30 p.m. whilst in the midst of shopping in the grocery we received a phone call from a slightly frantic Diligent Dave who had left his tool bag in our basement and REALLY needed it to be able to do his next appointment at 3:00 p.m.

Thus we quickly bought our food, rushed home [a 10 minute drive] so we could retrieve Diligent Dave’s tool bag in our basement and hand it to him. He was pleased, expressing thanks, telling us that his next job was only 8 minutes away so he’d be there to start it on time.

Unlike our job where he showed up a half hour late BUT who doesn’t like a touch of innocent irony to go along with their new scary fast fiber optic cable?

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Questions of the daY

Regardless of the type of computer you use, do you have a sitting or standing desk? Or do you prefer to sit at a table? Or to plop your computer onto your lap?

Do you know how you get your internet connection in your home? Do you like it?

Considering that Zen-Den continues to refer to Diligent Dave as That Kid, do you believe, like I do, that Z-D the recently semi-retired is well on his way to becoming an old codger?

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Know What I Mean, Ally Bean? 4 Things I Say Because I Am Me

November 16, 2022 / Ally Bean / 216 Comments

This is funny, I say wisely

Let the flapdoodle & twaddle begin…

I don’t know if other people do what I’m going to tell you I do, but what I do is so ingrained in me that I don’t think about it unless I intentionally decide to write a blog post about it.

[Nice sentence, huh?]

I compiled the following of that which is ingrained in me by paying more attention to myself than I normally do, which is to say tuning in to who I am when I’m on auto-pilot.

So here’s what I’m getting at: I have specific things I say to myself when prompted by certain situations. These things are not profound, but they are an indication of who I am when left to my own devices.

Allow me to explain below.

1

I am a magnet for good.

Years ago I read an article about how you should have a mantra you say whenever you go out into the world. This mantra should empower you AND tell the Universe how to treat you.

There was a list of mantras and I picked this one, primarily because I like literal images I can envision in my pragmatic brain that also have a figurative component that makes my English Lit major heart happy.

2

Learn something!

I say this out loud whenever I see a school bus filled with kids drive by the house. Those little trapped faces stare out at me and I feel for them, thus I bless them with what I believe is a good idea.

3

I park in “H” for hell.

There’s a story behind this one. You see, whenever I go to any big box retail store that has a huge parking lot wherein rows are designated with letters of the alphabet I do one particular thing.

I cannot take credit for dreaming up this idea. My mother and her friends did this. Naturally she encouraged me to do the same thing.

Thus being a dutiful daughter I picked a letter, “H” for hell, and always park as close to it as I can. Mom approved, although she rolled her school teacher-y eyes at me concerning the why of the letter I picked.

4

Tres bien

I say this in the morning as I pour my first cup of coffee into a mug. It’s a blessing and a goal and a hope all in one phrase. I will admit, however, that sometimes I say “muy bueno” or “very good” which impart the same meaning, just in different languages because variety is important.

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QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Do you, like me, consistently say things to yourself in certain situations that if overheard might make someone wonder about you?

If so, care to share what you say?

If you were forced to decide, do you think this post is more flapdoodle-y OR twaddle-ish?

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Tea For Two: Talking About A Retirement Side Hustle + 2 Story Updates

November 1, 2022May 30, 2025 / Ally Bean / 242 Comments

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TEA FOR TWO, THAT’S ME & YOU

I’ve heard it said that most marital communication is the word *WHAT* being shouted between rooms.

I believe this to be true.

Especially now that Zen-Den, Esq., has retired, sort of.

You see, he retired from his main source of employment, a full-time job with benefits, and is now self-employed as an advisor ~~wandering around at home~~, sometimes advising his former main source of employment while other times chatting it up with new prospects.

This is called a side hustle.

I am told.

So this means, from my point of view, that He Who Has A Side Hustle is underfoot almost all day long. Like a cheerful puppy. And because he’s accustomed to ~~barking~~ talking almost all day long, he has begun to NEED to tell me things.

While we are in different rooms.

Why just the other morning he shouted something to me from the kitchen while I was in our home study.

I said *what* of course.

He then walked into the home study and told me he had a few calls to take in the morning. After that he was going to organize the tea drawer where we keep, come to find out, 12 different teas*.

So you can see that He Who Has A Side Hustle is finding productive ways to occupy himself that for the most part keep him from pestering and annoying me all day long, and allow him to believe he is a valuable part of this household.

Because he is, of course.

* Knowing that someone is going to ask, the 12 kinds of tea in the drawer are:

Ceylon Orange Pekoe
Constant Comment
Earl Grey
English Breakfast
English Teatime
Green Tea
Green Tea with Pomegranate, Raspberry & Strawberry
Irish Breakfast
Lady Grey
Oolong Tea
Peppermint
Perfect Peach

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UPDATES TO STORIES

1. We named the skeleton Earl. Thanks to everyone who offered name ideas. Y’all are funny. [Original story HERE.]

2. After writing about how I accidentally acquired a bag of potato chips, Z-D was at Kroger using the U-scan. He used the barcode reader to ring up a six-pack of beer and it did, but then while placing the beer on the wonky wobbly bagging carousel he accidentally dropped the six-pack on the floor. The impact caused the metal caps on two bottles to loosen, spewing carbonated beer from the bottles.

Instead of going back to get a new six-pack, for which he paid in full, Z-D left the store with four bottles of beer. Thus he paid for something he did not get and thereby, I believe, restored balance in our relationship with Kroger. [Original story HERE.]

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