A Sweet Story About A Stroller, A Stumble, And A Stranger

February 13, 2024 / Ally Bean / 245 Comments

I’ve no particular reason to write about this other than to confirm that things can go sideways quickly and that random acts of kindness still happen, sometimes right in front of your eyes.

I WAS WAITING FOR the mail to arrive. We live on the curve on this suburban street so I can see the USPS mail truck coming from a long way off.

I realized the mail would be here in a minute or two so I sat down in the living room and stared out the window. It was mid afternoon when there are few vehicles driving around. The day was clear and sunny, in the 50s F so a beautiful day for everything.

I saw a young mom and dad out running while pushing a stroller with a small baby in it as they jogged along the street in the direction that slopes gently downhill toward a gully.

I watched as the dad nodded to the mom then took off downhill at a faster speed while she pushed the stroller at a decent pace, stepping like a metronome to her own beat. All was good until the mom tripped, lost her balance, and tried to catch herself on our neighbor’s mailbox post.

As she fell to her knees, hanging onto the mailbox post, she lost control of the stroller and inadvertently gave the stroller with the baby in it a huge push that caused it to roll quickly down the middle of the street.

Unattended.

Rolling along like nobody’s business.

She screamed to her husband for help but he had earbuds in and didn’t hear her.

HOWEVER AN OLDER MAN, probably in his mid-70s who I see walking slowly up this street every afternoon, saw what happened and, I kid you not, sprinted up the middle of the street toward the stroller.

He was flailing his arms and yelling at the dad who eventually turned around to see a stranger running to stop his baby’s stroller as it gained momentum rolling down the hill and his wife on her knees a few houses back while shouting at him to get. the. baby.

At this point the dad, who clearly didn’t know how this could have happened so quickly, looked so gobsmacked that I couldn’t help but smile at the dude.

Well the older man pushed the stroller back up the slight hill to the mother and went back to walking. The dad came back to the mailbox post and hugged the mom who’d gotten to her feet.

And while the mother was a heap of nerves, shaking, crying, grabbing for the baby, it’ll come as no surprise to you to learn that the baby and the dad and the older man were fine.

However after a minute, having regained her composure while wiggling her ankle around in small circles, the young couple with the baby turned around and walked back up the slight hill in the direction they’d come from both holding onto the stroller.

NOTHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED YET it was one of those moments in time, that transpired in a snap, when I realized again that we all depend, in some way or another, on strangers to help us get by.

Plus, being a pragmatic soul, I also realized that I do hope this young couple invests in a stroller wrist strap. Seems like it might be a good idea, all things considered.

‘Ya know?

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever see something happen so quickly in front of your eyes that all you can do is watch it unfold?

Have you seen anyone do a random act of kindness lately?

If you walk or run outside on sidewalks or streets, have you ever stumbled like this mother did? If so, what happened next?

~ • ~

The One About Celebrating 2024 New Year’s Day A Second Time Today

January 11, 2024 / Ally Bean / 220 Comments

~ • ~

Here’s what you need to know.

Regardless of the day of the year I’m not one to make resolutions, a word I’d define as an official proclamation announcing what you plan on doing henceforth.

However I do, from time to time, set general goals about what I want to accomplish in the future, but I don’t think of these general goals as hard and fast objectives. They’re more like gentle nudges in a better direction.

My nudges aren’t SMART [specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound], an approach to setting goals that I remember learning about in college. Instead my nudges are DUMB [doable, useful, memorable, and basic], an acronym I just invented in this moment.

As creative people often do.

Making it up as you go along, noticing the possibilities at hand, relying a bit on your intuition.

Being a pantser, in a word.

Anyhoo…

Today, if I understand this correctly, is a significant day according to astrology, a belief system based on celestial bodies such as moon phases. One leans into astrology to explain what one should expect in one’s future.

[And doesn’t the use of the word ‘one’ instead of the word ‘you’ sound pretentious? I suddenly feel like Dr. Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, speaking formally, being haughty.]

Moving along, the bottom line here is that today’s new moon will be the last new moon for 15 years that we’ll see in Capricorn [the time frame starting December 22nd, ending January 19th]. Thus it’s a big deal for astrologers.

Meanwhile according to numerology, the belief that there is a correlation between certain numbers and coinciding events, today’s date, 111, is a number that means new beginnings. And that, too, is a big deal in certain circles.

You may read more about how these two concepts dovetail together here: The New Moon In Capricorn Is Here To Start 2024 Off Right

Regardless of my ambivalence about astrology and my nonchalance regarding numerology, from the foregoing I learned that today’s message to one and all is: “It’s go time!”

And I like this message. Don’t you?

I feel empowered.

It gives me the opportunity to have what I’m thinking of as a 2024 New Year’s Day do-over, secure in the fact that this time I’ve got the planets behind me, or above me I guess, and that I’m ready to be determined to reach my 2024 ~~goals~~ nudges.

Once I figure out what they might be. 😉

~ • ~

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Are you celebrating this second 2024 New Year’s Day today? If so, how?

Do you have any goals [or nudges] for 2024? If so, what are some of them?

Are you finding that this is the most uninspiring January that has ever existed in all of time? If not, which one was worse?

~ ~ • ~ ~

The Mystery Of The Missing Marjoram + Reader Comments About Manufactured Victories

November 14, 2023November 15, 2023 / Ally Bean / 245 Comments

TALKING ABOUT MARJORAM

“I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.”

We needed some marjoram. NEED I tell ‘ya! Zen-Den was making gyros for dinner.

He’d made the tzatziki sauce, bought the feta and black olives and pitas and peppers, but alas and alack when he went to put together the dry blend for flavoring the meat we didn’t have any marjoram.

Thus I went to the grocery to buy some.

Being familiar with our Kroger I knew where the spice aisle was in the store, but when I stood there looking at the shelves with about 3 gazillion jars and containers and bottles of spices and herbs and extracts, I didn’t see marjoram.

In fact, I couldn’t even find a little tag that showed it had ever been on a shelf.

As if, I muttered, knowing it had to be there, right?

So in what for an introvert might be considered stepping outside your comfort zone, I asked two friendly chatty women standing beside me if they saw any marjoram. Turned out they were a mother [70-ish] and her daughter [40-ish] who were enthusiastic about joining my impromptu scavenger hunt in the spice aisle.

Hence we three stood there, positioning our bifocals just so, and looked for the elusive marjoram plus what they were looking for [thyme and poultry seasoning]. We found what they needed, many times over, but the marjoram just wasn’t there.

I shrugged, thanked them for their help and went on my way, walking a few aisles away from the spice aisle to where I knew I needed to pick up something else.

From my favorite webcomic called Underpants and Overbites

But as I was standing in the middle of that aisle, I heard the younger woman yelling “I found it!” as she ran up to me with a jar of marjoram. She handed me the herb and explained that she’d found it with the label turned around backwards, in the wrong spot, hidden behind some oregano.

And then because she was a compassionate foodie person, she’d come looking for me by going up and down the aisles, wanting to make sure I got what I came to the store for.

Bashfully, almost apologetically, she explained that once she started doing something she had to finish it, she was compulsive like that, and this sort of search was her thing.

I had to find it, she told me.

I thanked her over and over, then waved good-bye while thinking, there really are some nice people in this world who don’t want to do anything more than just help other people.

And fortunately for the fate of our Greek dinner, I’d just met one.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever asked a stranger for help finding something in a store? How’d that go for you?

Do you wonder sometimes how we have evolved into a society in which an act of kindness like this one is so rare that it is almost shocking?

Do you use marjoram in cooking? We have a lot of it now, so any recipe suggestions are welcome.

AND FINALLY FOUR READER COMMENTS…

About the Value of Manufactured Victories:

“Manufactured victories are part of my time management process. Like painting a wall. I get out the paint, then celebrate. Check for the brushes (which I find), dropcloths and tools. Then I celebrate. Now I notice I forgot something and need a store run. The good news-bad news is that I get to celebrate when I come home. All this celebrating and I haven’t yet painted the dang wall!”

~ Kate Crimmins

“… every blog post is its own victory–over apathy, inertia, and sometimes technology…. I feel like failure gets a bad rap in our winner-centric country. I’d like to normalize failure, especially for our kids. You might not have won, but you learned a ton!”

~ AutumnAshbough

“I think manufactured victories are very similar to moral victories, where the object was not to win but to actually try real hard. (Of course, a win is nice, too.)”

~ John Holton

“I don’t agree with the Vulcans that the DS9 crew had manufactured their victory. They were victorious in their sportsmanship. They didn’t begrudge the Vulcans their win, but the DS9 team had fun and experienced healthy camaraderie by showing up and playing together.”

~ Marie A Bailey

A Party, A Conversation, A Confused Me: What Does Mainstream Mean To You?

September 7, 2023September 14, 2023 / Ally Bean / 210 Comments

I WAS AT A PARTY where I ended up in a weird conversation that confused me. Generally speaking, being empathetic, I’m good at intuiting what is really being said, reading between the lines, but this time… I dunno.

Here’s what happened:

I was standing in the kitchen [no surprise, right?] talking with three pleasant women, one of whom I’d just met. The other two I’ve seen maybe 2 times in the last 10 years, so not friends– more like casual almost acquaintances that pass in the night.

What I know for sure about these woman is that they each:

are married to the father of their children;
have kids in college, hither and yon across the US;
work outside the home, in different industries; and
attend Christian churches of different denominations.

• • •

{ source }

• • •

ONE WOMAN WAS TALKING ABOUT how her youngest child would be out of college by the end of the year. This meant that she was to the point of thinking about leaving her full-time job. This woman wasn’t sure what she was going to do next, but it was NOT going to be what she’d been doing.

To me this seemed like a standard conversation, at least until the woman I just met said: “Well, just make sure that whatever you do it next isn’t mainstream.”

And with that the three started laughing, loudly, glancing at each other as if this was the funniest thing anyone ever said.

I was lost.

The conversation continued with them talking about how they could never be mainstream– except that they were rolling their eyes like this was an inside joke and they knew they were mainstream.

I was still lost.

As a free-spirited woman who has never been called mainstream I was clueless about what was being implied by the word mainstream, yet I knew something was up.

At this point I’d have asked clarifying questions, but we were interrupted by someone who walked into the kitchen with a story to tell– and I never got the chance. Considering these are casual acquaintances [at best], I’m not going to call one and ask what was really going on.

• • •

{ source }

• • •

NATURALLY I’VE BEEN WONDERING about the conversation:

🔹 Was it about how they considered themselves to be the very definition of mainstream, embracing the word as a kind of mantra, taking it to be complimentary?

🔹 Was it about how they never would define themselves as mainstream, so there’s no way that one of them could ever do anything mainstream, taking it to be derogatory?

🔹 Were they talking about something else in reference to mainstream, like a pop culture or political or small town allusion that I’m not familiar with, something like that maybe?

Obviously I don’t know, but this conversation has stayed on my mind, stumped by what was really going on. Thus I’m asking you, my little moonbeams of conversational clarity, for your take on this.

Help me understand, please.

~ 🔹 ~