Quotes + Sayings

A Crack In Everything: Talking With A Friend About Aging Gracefully + Announcing A Change To My Blog Schedule

/ Ally Bean / 251 Comments

A WHILE BACK I WAS TALKING with a Friend about a decision she needed to make. Not a huge one, but a smaller annoying one that comes down to deciding who she is comfortable being now.

Friend, much to her consternation, has to alter her way of thinking about something.

While the details of Friend’s decision are specific to her particular situation, there’s a bigger picture to contemplate, especially as you get older.  And a little bit cracked by life.

As we all do.

~ • ~

HERE’S THE DEALIO: Friend is in her early 50s and has been running almost every day since she starred on her high school cross country team. As an adult she runs marathons, not ultramarathons or half marathons, but MARATHONS.

She’s very clear on this point.

Friend is known for, and is externally validated by, running marathons. She proudly & consistently defines herself as a marathoner, and up until this last year she’s ALWAYS been the fastest, or second fastest, in her age group.  She has ruled in every marathon she’s ever run, until now.

This does not please her.

Friend knows she’s getting slower, the numbers prove it, but she still wants to keep running because she likes to run. However from her point of view there’s a decision to be made, one that is more ego-based than anything else.

Should she:

A) Continue to run in marathons like she has her entire life while reluctantly accepting that there’s a good chance she’ll not be the best in her age group anymore which makes her sad?

OR

B) Start to run in half marathons, something she considers second-class to a *real* marathon, but wherein she believes she’d be the fastest in her age group which makes her happy?

~ • ~

I’LL TELL YOU FRIEND’S DECISION in the comments below so that you, my little sparks of joy, can take a few seconds to contemplate how you’d handle a situation that involves your ego struggling with itself to gracefully accept the fact that you’re aging.

That is, are you more inclined to lean into doing the same thing as always, but in what you’d describe as a less successful way? Or are you more inclined to do something new that you consider inferior, but do it in a brilliant way?

To put this quandary in a more chit-chatty pithy way: do you keep on keeping on [focus on perseverance] OR do you accept that life’s tough and get a helmet [focus on modification]?

• • ☀️ • •

PLEASE NOTE:

In order to allow more light to get into my life, The Spectacled Bean will be on SPRING/SUMMER HOURS until further notice.

I shall forget my perfect weekly offerings and instead post every couple of weeks, reply to comments here, and check-in with you on your blogs every so often.

Take it easy, everyone. Ring those bells!

Do good. Play nice. Be happy.

• • 😎 • •

The End Of The World? I Asked ChatGPT To Tell Me A Story (And I Feel Fine)

/ Ally Bean / 263 Comments

INTRODUCTION

Pride goeth before the fall, as my mother used to say.

To see what would happen I asked ChatGPT to tell me a story about a starfish, a kohlrabi, and a dragon. It did so quickly crafting a 338 word story. Then I went to pixabay to look for suitable free photos/images to enhance the story.

This little adventure in putting together a blog post took me [maybe] 15 minutes. In truth I spent most of that time searching through pixabay pictures and not waiting for AI to compose a story.

Admittedly as someone who writes a personal blog I’ve always known that I was optional, but I do take pride in doing my best here. Nonetheless with ChatGPT and its ilk creating good stories, maybe even better ones than what I write, I wonder if my optionality is just the first step to insignificance.

However, be that as it may or may not be, I invite you to read the following story and decide for yourself if there’s anything for me, for any blogger, for any writer, to worry about.

THE TALE OF THE OCEAN HEROES

Once upon a time, in a mythical land, there lived a starfish named Stella. Stella was a special starfish as she had the power to talk and communicate with other creatures in the sea. She loved to explore and make new friends.

Stella the starfish

One day, while she was exploring the seabed, she stumbled upon a strange-looking vegetable called kohlrabi. It was not something she had seen before, and she was curious to know more about it. Suddenly, she heard a loud roar, and when she looked up, she saw a dragon flying above her.

The dragon was not like any other dragon. It was small and cute, and its scales were a mix of pink and purple. The dragon landed on the seabed and introduced herself as Daisy. Stella and Daisy became instant friends and decided to explore the sea together.

Daisy the dragon

As they were swimming, they saw a group of fish swimming frantically, and they decided to investigate. The fish were caught in a fishing net, and they needed help. Stella and Daisy knew they had to act fast. They called out to all the sea creatures nearby, including kohlrabi, to help them rescue the fish.

With the kohlrabi’s sharp edges, they cut the fishing net and freed the fish. The sea creatures cheered, and they became friends. Stella, Daisy, and the kohlrabi decided to form a team to help other sea creatures in need. They called themselves “The Ocean Heroes.”

the kohlrabi

From that day on, Stella the starfish, Daisy the dragon, and the kohlrabi went on many adventures together, helping other sea creatures in need. They even helped a lost turtle find its way back home. The Ocean Heroes became well known and loved in the sea, and their friendship and courage inspired many other sea creatures.

And so, Stella the starfish, Daisy the dragon, and the kohlrabi formed an unbreakable bond of friendship, proving that no matter how different we may seem, we can achieve great things when we work together.

MY OPINION & REVIEW OF THE STORY 

As you can see ChatGPT wrote a sweet short story. It made me smile and gave me all the warm feels. I suspect that was the point. Even as an adult I recognize that I want to be Stella the starfish. She’s curious, friendly, proactive, and courageous.

A definite role model.

And Daisy the dragon? Beyond being cute she’s a confident bff who helps solve problems. I like her, too.

My only qualm with this story is why didn’t ChatGPT give the kohlrabi a name, like Kenneth the kohlrabi? That seems short-sighted to me.

It’s as if ChatGPT is lacking in understanding about human relationships, unaware that humans tend to name every *person* in a story so that humans might more easily intuitively grasp the message of the story.

But then, what do I know?

I’m just a human.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

What do you think of the story? Do you want to be Stella the starfish when you grow up?

Could you write a better story? And if so, how long would it take you to write and edit it? Then create artwork for it?

Are you concerned about Artificial Intelligence creeping into the world of writers and displacing humans?

• + • + •

The One About Multitasking, Machine Beeps, And Marital Bliss

/ Ally Bean / 190 Comments

“Monica, you’re all chaotic and twirly, but not in a good way.”

That’s a line from the TV show Friends. Zen-Den said it to me as he walked into the kitchen.

I was in the kitchen doing important things.

I’d just put some cornbread into the oven, chili was in the slow cooker, and on the counter was a new Lands’ End catalogue that I was leafing through looking for some spring-y clothes.

I had a Minwax color chart [36″ x 10″] spread across the kitchen table near the window waiting for the late afternoon sunshine to get over there so I could clearly see the three gazillion and two color choices. And the washer & dryer were doing their things in the laundry room adjacent to the kitchen.  Also I was keeping an eye on the dishwash that was almost finished with a load.

I WAS MULTI-TASKING, people.

Well before I could say a word back to Mr. Hilarmoose, the dishwasher started beeping: “I’m ready for you to unload me now.” The dryer started beeping: “Hurry, hurry, don’t let these clothes get wrinkled.” And the washing machine finished its dramatic last spin beeping its end of cycle announcment: “now. Now. NOW.”

Plus for good measure the slow cooker, a bit of a hussy, chimed in with a slow seductive beep to tell me: “I’m finished cooking now and will be over here keeping dinner warm.” 

“You look busy,” said Mr. Obvious.

“Yes. You could help,” said I as I opened the dishwasher door to let the steam out while dashing past him stopping momentarily to reposition the color chart into the sunshine on my way to rescue the clothes from the dryer.

“Pretty please with sugar on top,” I added because I’m a polite woman* who by then was struggling with the wet towels in the washing machine that didn’t want to go into the dryer without a fight.

SO WHAT DID HE DO? In what way did he help?

With a devilish smile and an ornery gleam in his eye he picked up the catalogue on the counter, moseyed over to the kitchen table where the light was better and said, “you’d look good in the light blue t-shirt.”

Which is true, but really? That’s helping?

And with that commentary, my friends, I’ll leave this tale of marital bliss– or what passes for it around here.

HONESTLY…

Any of this sound familiar to you?!! 🤨

* I’m baffled by something. If you’re on a Keto diet and have given up on sugar do you say: pretty please with bacon on top? Or butter on top? Or suet  on top?  How do you rework that polite phrase so it has meaning for you?

If The Name Fits: An Absurd Conversation With An Amusing Friend

/ Ally Bean / 263 Comments

~ • ~

“Oh, you got to have friends, the feeling’s oh so strong….” 🎶

A friend who I shall call Wendy was telling me about something someone had said to her that had irked her. This wasn’t a case of trash talking but she felt she’d been dissed.

The someone had told Wendy that because she was the matriarch of her family, Wendy should keep her adult children in line– and that she hadn’t been doing that.

The comment was meant to be a criticism of Wendy’s mothering skills and how her adult children lived their lives.

The person saying it to Wendy was a someone who Wendy described as a snob, a social climber, a fraud. She didn’t usually pay attention to this someone’s opinions, but in this instance Wendy was peeved.

This someone had got her goat.

I figured that Wendy had taken offense at the idea she was failing as a mother because she allowed her adult children to be who they are, but I was wrong.

That was not the case.

Nope, Wendy had no problem with a criticism leveled at her parenting skills, she didn’t care about that. What bothered Wendy was that she’d been called a Matriarch, a name she found insulting because to her it meant she was old. It was in her mind an example of agism.

[Even though Wendy is the matriarch of her family, but let’s not get stuck on reality here.]

Looking for a way to put this perceived slight into perspective, I suggested that being called a Matriarch is better than being called a Crone, an ugly old woman. That’s a word I find derogatory and Wendy agreed.

She wasn’t a Crone.

Continuing on with the idea that there are worse names to be called than Matriarch, I suggested that at least this someone hadn’t called Wendy a Sea Hag, an old witch who lives near the sea. To me that seemed more demeaning than being thought of as the head of a family with the power to influence family members.

But you know what?

Wendy liked the idea of being called a Sea Hag. She said she enjoyed walking on the beach by the ocean so the thought of being a Sea Hag made her happy. She could easily accept that name because it was more in tune with who she is.

And with that admission I said the only thing I could think to say. I said three important words that keep friendships alive, I said: I believe you.

Because I do.

Questions Of The Day

Putting aside any concerns you might have about gendered language, would you take offense if someone called you the Matriarch or Patriarch of your family? Why or why not?

Thinking of all the names, positive or negative or neutral,  you’ve been called in your life, how much do you care about the way in which someone else refers to you?

Do you feel, like I do, that friends who are able to not take themselves too seriously are put on this earth to keep you laughing with them… at yourself… at life in general?

~ ~ 🤎 ~ ~