Bomb Diggity: Staying In Your Good Books By Sharing Memes About Books + A Very Special Reader Comments

February 25, 2025March 3, 2025 / Ally Bean / 203 Comments

Yesterday I learned a new-to-me idiom. It is “in someone’s good books” and is defined by The Idioms as:

If you are in somebody’s good books, it means you have done something good that has delighted them, and if you are in their bad books, you have annoyed them, and they are now angry with you.

Granted over the years I’ve said something similar [to be “in someone’s good graces”] but now I have another respectable idiom to add to my personal lexicon.

Also, I have what will be the catalyst for this blog post: BOOKS.

You see, my little popsicles of profundity, I’m currently at loose ends, a blogging wordsmith with time on my hands because somehow or another IT IS STILL FEBRUARY and not much is going on in my life.

Thus with the aforementioned catalyst in mind I perused my folders and files that are in order for once because I’ve used this winter to get my little bloggy organized for the first time in years.

[To wit please note, there’s a revised About Ally Bean tab; a new Best Of The Bean tab; an updated Blogroll 2.0 tab + a new Header image.]

Getting back to the issue at hand, after looking into my recently organized folders and files I found the following which I present without any personal commentary. Yes, this is unusual for me but I’ll admit that at this point in February my bomb is less diggity than usual.

• • •

AND FINALLY A VERY SPECIAL READER COMMENTS…

After writing the above I realized the following bloggers who comment here regularly are also authors of published books. Seems like a good time to mention them. Click on a name and go say “HI!” Tell ’em Ally Bean sent you.

• • •

📚 Now it’s your turn to stay in my good books, and I know you want to delight me, so leave a comment below! 📚

• • •

The Mystery Of The Missing Marjoram + Reader Comments About Manufactured Victories

November 14, 2023November 15, 2023 / Ally Bean / 245 Comments

TALKING ABOUT MARJORAM

“I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.”

We needed some marjoram. NEED I tell ‘ya! Zen-Den was making gyros for dinner.

He’d made the tzatziki sauce, bought the feta and black olives and pitas and peppers, but alas and alack when he went to put together the dry blend for flavoring the meat we didn’t have any marjoram.

Thus I went to the grocery to buy some.

Being familiar with our Kroger I knew where the spice aisle was in the store, but when I stood there looking at the shelves with about 3 gazillion jars and containers and bottles of spices and herbs and extracts, I didn’t see marjoram.

In fact, I couldn’t even find a little tag that showed it had ever been on a shelf.

As if, I muttered, knowing it had to be there, right?

So in what for an introvert might be considered stepping outside your comfort zone, I asked two friendly chatty women standing beside me if they saw any marjoram. Turned out they were a mother [70-ish] and her daughter [40-ish] who were enthusiastic about joining my impromptu scavenger hunt in the spice aisle.

Hence we three stood there, positioning our bifocals just so, and looked for the elusive marjoram plus what they were looking for [thyme and poultry seasoning]. We found what they needed, many times over, but the marjoram just wasn’t there.

I shrugged, thanked them for their help and went on my way, walking a few aisles away from the spice aisle to where I knew I needed to pick up something else.

From my favorite webcomic called Underpants and Overbites

But as I was standing in the middle of that aisle, I heard the younger woman yelling “I found it!” as she ran up to me with a jar of marjoram. She handed me the herb and explained that she’d found it with the label turned around backwards, in the wrong spot, hidden behind some oregano.

And then because she was a compassionate foodie person, she’d come looking for me by going up and down the aisles, wanting to make sure I got what I came to the store for.

Bashfully, almost apologetically, she explained that once she started doing something she had to finish it, she was compulsive like that, and this sort of search was her thing.

I had to find it, she told me.

I thanked her over and over, then waved good-bye while thinking, there really are some nice people in this world who don’t want to do anything more than just help other people.

And fortunately for the fate of our Greek dinner, I’d just met one.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever asked a stranger for help finding something in a store? How’d that go for you?

Do you wonder sometimes how we have evolved into a society in which an act of kindness like this one is so rare that it is almost shocking?

Do you use marjoram in cooking? We have a lot of it now, so any recipe suggestions are welcome.

AND FINALLY FOUR READER COMMENTS…

About the Value of Manufactured Victories:

“Manufactured victories are part of my time management process. Like painting a wall. I get out the paint, then celebrate. Check for the brushes (which I find), dropcloths and tools. Then I celebrate. Now I notice I forgot something and need a store run. The good news-bad news is that I get to celebrate when I come home. All this celebrating and I haven’t yet painted the dang wall!”

~ Kate Crimmins

“… every blog post is its own victory–over apathy, inertia, and sometimes technology…. I feel like failure gets a bad rap in our winner-centric country. I’d like to normalize failure, especially for our kids. You might not have won, but you learned a ton!”

~ AutumnAshbough

“I think manufactured victories are very similar to moral victories, where the object was not to win but to actually try real hard. (Of course, a win is nice, too.)”

~ John Holton

“I don’t agree with the Vulcans that the DS9 crew had manufactured their victory. They were victorious in their sportsmanship. They didn’t begrudge the Vulcans their win, but the DS9 team had fun and experienced healthy camaraderie by showing up and playing together.”

~ Marie A Bailey

July Reply: Answering YOUR Miscellaneous Questions + My Conclusions About Doing This Project [AMA Part 3 Of 3]

July 25, 2023July 1, 2025 / Ally Bean / 182 Comments

PREVIOUSLY…

As promised, this is the last installment of the AMA Extravaganza, a blogging project I dreamed up in June [HERE] as a way to see what y’all were curious about + as a way of focusing attention on other bloggers.

So far I’ve answered YOUR questions about blogging [HERE] and YOUR questions about me [HERE].

Again I’m highlighting who asked each question and adding a link to their blog. This I hope will create and extend a sense of community that is, in my experience, the backbone of personal blogging.

Plus for your entertainment I’ve added 3 memes from the National Park Service, that has the best sense of humor of any government agency.

See what you think.

YOUR QUESTIONS + MY ANSWERS

The following questions are listed alphabetically using the first letter of the first name of the Cool Kid who asked the question. Thanks to everyone who asked a question. My answers immediately follow each question.

📌 Barbara from Book Club Mom asks: Do you think a person’s opinion of a book can change after discussing it with others? Has this ever happened to you?

MY ANSWER: Yes, a person’s opinion of a book can change after discussing it with other people. Or having it explained to you by someone, like a college prof, who understand the context better or has more life experience than you.

For me a case in point would be The Scarlet Letter by Hawthorne that I thought was a pathetic story until I learned more about the era it was set in– and how hypocritical religious folks can be. 🤨

📌 Betsy from Motherhood and Martial Arts asks: Did some punk on here already ask you to explain the meaning of life?

MY ANSWER: No, Betsy, no one else has asked me to explain the meaning of life. You’re the only one to ask IF someone has asked me that question. And that is my punkish reply. 😜

📌 Catsandcoffee from MIDLIFE CAT LADY asks: If you were reincarnated into an animal, what would it be and why?

MY ANSWER: I’ve wrestled with my answer to this question. On the one hand I’d go with CAT because I adore their indifferent attitude towards pleasing people. But on the other hand I’m drawn to SLOTH because they make me smile and live life at their own pace.

I dunno for sure so depending on my mood: 😼 or 🦥

📌 Ernie from … no small feet asks: Do you and Zen Den have couples that you meet up with for dinner/drinks. etc. And have you struggled to find couples that you both enjoy? … How do you handle this issue?

MY ANSWER: Most of our socializing with other couples has been a result of Z-D’s work relationships. This means that unless I really dislike a couple, we continue to see them… because business. I figure it’s only for a few hours and if [almost always] there are adult beverages involved, it’s all good. 🍸

📌 JT Twissell from SAYING NOTHING IN PARTICULAR asks: Have you ever been asked if you were on drugs?

MY ANSWER: Welp, up until this question no one has ever asked me if I was on drugs. I am not, nor ever have been, but thanks for asking. Perhaps I should investigate taking some? Are you suggesting a new goal for me? 😵‍💫

📌 Janis at Retirementally Challenged asks: What kind of bean are you: lima, baked, jelly, or some other type?

MY ANSWER: Oddly enough I have answered this question before in THIS POST wherein I shared my bean personality after taking an online quiz from THE BEAN INSTITUTE that told me: “You’re the Pinto Bean: Humble, Unassuming, Relaxed & Modest.”

Ha! Didn’t see that answer coming, did ‘ya? 😉

📌 LA from Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50 asks: My friend asks me for fashion advice…. Do I tell her what I really think or do I continue to skirt around the issue, realizing it’s just my opinion, but in the back of my head, she already sees the things I see, and wants confirmation?

MY ANSWER: If an acquaintance asked this I’d be noncommittal, BUT if a friend asked for fashion advice like yours has, I’d be more truthful, in a tactful way.

I’d approach it from the improv point of view wherein you say “yes/and” when it’s your turn to talk. That is, your friend says something about an outfit then I’d say: “YES you could wear that AND you might be able to enhance it by ________.” She talks and your reply is: “YES I get what you’re saying AND you could try _______.”

This continues until the conversation has reaches its logical conclusion. Then you never say another word about what she decides to wear. 🤐

📌 Mark Petruska from Mark My Words asks: If we were stranded on a desert island together, what skills do you think I would bring to the table? How about you? Would we be able to put our collective noggins together and figure a way off the damned island ala Tom Hanks in “Castaway,” or would we perish after a few weeks? … Keep in mind we don’t have a Wilson with us (though hopefully I’m more entertaining than a damn volleyball).

MY ANSWER: Dude, we’re doomed. No way are we going to survive being stranded on a desert island for a few weeks.

Sure you have amazing writing skillz and can mow a huge yard on a riding mower, but those abilities, while admirable, are worth zilch when stranded in the way you envision. Plus the only skill I could bring to the situation is to complain, very well of course, taking into account everything that is wrong, but I know that gift wouldn’t contribute to our survival either.

The only way I can fathom us surviving is IF we had Wilson with us, and you’ve taken that option off the table, so my friend it’s over for us, been great knowing ‘ya. 🏐

📌 Mary from Mary J Melange asks: Is there a question you will never ever answer because of the skeleton in the closet? Where do you hide the bodies? Is there such a thing as watching too much crime drama on TV? Is there such a thing as too many cats or too much chocolate? Where did I leave my car keys? Are you annoyed by stupid questions?

MY ANSWER: First let me congratulate you on asking the most random stream of questions that anyone has asked here.

Well done.

Next let me assure you that I have some skeletons somewhere, but none involve real bodies nor do I keep them in a closet. Mine are decorative, stored in the basement, used to zhoosh up the house for Halloween. And yes, I’m sure some of us watch way too many TV crime dramas, but I shall not name names.

I believe, and this might be controversial, that you can have too many cats and too much chocolate. I’ll not elaborate further lest I inflame someone with my opinion.

I suggest you search for your car keys in the kitchen, maybe tossed into the silverware drawer by accident? Or pushed into the trash can by Gibbs? Or Hoshi? And no I’m not annoyed by your inventive questions. In fact I’m giving you a trophy for your cleverness. 🏆

📌 nance from Dept. of Nance asks: Is there anything you’ve ever just plain given up on?

MY ANSWER: I’ve give up on lots of things, from career aspirations to the best recipe for cheesecake– and everything in-between. The thing is I believe there is nothing wrong with giving up.

Yes, you read that right.

You just have to be clear about why you’re giving up and how your life will change because of it. If you’re comfortable with your answers to those two variables, then give up– and move on. 😌

📌 philmouse from Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge asks: You’re cool (of course) so the obvious question is what flavor of ice cream do you prefer? Do you think ice cream choice reveals a lot about a person? …Some people are fans and dedicated to one flavor, some love experiments and variety, some may change as they mature – or move to a new place. Do you think there should be some research money available for a study on this?

MY ANSWER: Okay, here goes. My favorite flavors of ice cream have changed over the years. As a child I liked raspberry ripple, then as a teenage moved on to mint chocolate chip, followed by a decade of chocolate almond. However now, as a confirmed adult, I like vanilla bean vanilla [never French vanilla] or caramel.

Whether I’ve revealed anything important about myself, or if there should be research money available for how a person’s ice cream preferences change, is not for me to decide.

HOWEVER I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that there is a well-funded research project happening on this question. Such is the way of the modern world, no detail of human behavior is too small to explore on someone else’s dime. 🍨

📌 Sadje from Keep it alive asks: Why does it rains when you don’t have an umbrella and it’s sunny when you do have one?

MY ANSWER: This is a brilliant question. My answer to it demonstrates why I’m sometimes described as charmingly cynical. My reply is: because the Universe likes to screw with you, just to see what you’ll do next! ☔️

IN CONCLUSION

While doing this project my stats were booming. In the words of WordPress: “The Spectacled Bean is getting noticed.”

Here is what I learned by doing this AMA Extravaganza, something I’ll probably never do again, but was worth doing once to test my mettle:

When you solicit questions from your readers you open yourself up to a whole lot of randomness.
If you are not prepared to make yourself vulnerable, don’t do this: remember you’re giving up your control over what you’ll be writing about.
Readers asked excellent questions and answering them took more time than I imagined it would, so I spread my answers out over a few weeks which was not my original plan.
This project was worthwhile because by adding a link to the blog of anyone who asked a question I was sharing the limelight with other people, thus this wasn’t all about me. Hallelujah!

July Reply: Answering YOUR Questions About Me [AMA Part 2 Of 3]

July 18, 2023July 1, 2025 / Ally Bean / 183 Comments

PREVIOUSLY…

Last week I introduced this AMA Extravaganza by answering your questions about how to blog. Go HERE to read who asked a question, what it was, and what I said.

Today I’ll continue answering your questions, this time about me.

Again I’ve highlighted who asked each question and added a link to their blog. I’m doing that in order to create and extend a sense of community that is, in my experience, the backbone of personal blogging.

YOUR QUESTIONS + MY ANSWERS

These questions, occasionally edited for clarity, are arranged alphabetically by topic, then chronologically by when the asker of the question asked the question. Thanks to everyone. I reply in one answer to similar questions because that seems sensible to me, she who is answering your questions.

🟣 CHILDHOOD & TEEN YEARS

• Lynn from Life After 50 asks: how might others have perceived you as a teenager rather than what did you think of yourself? Or maybe both?

• L. Marie from El Space- The Blog of L. Marie asks: what were you like in high school?

• Nicki from Behind the Story asks: Tell me more about yourself as a “cool kid.” From what I have noticed, you’re imaginative and funny and open to new experiences and people. What are some examples of your cool kid ways? Were you a cool kid in kindergarten?

MY ANSWER: As a kindergartener I was shy and serious; I was, after all, an only child of older well-educated parents so kids, my peers, kind of baffled me with their rambunctiousness. As a high school student I was focused on learning enough to go to college, but I goofed off too. There might have been underage drinking involved. But not with the Popular Kids, only with other kids who I’d known since forever who were also just trying to survive long enough to escape from our small town.

🟣 DAILY LIFE

• Dale from A Dalectable Life asks: Do you work full-time outside of the house?

• Marty from Snakes in the Grass asks: … in what field [did] you [work] in your career. Your husband’s also?

• Judy from NewEnglandGardenAndThread asks: what makes a really good day for you?

• Dan from No Facilities asks: What’s Ally’s favorite thing to do when not blogging?

• The Travel Architect from THE TRAVEL ARCHITECT asks: what is a daily routine you can’t live without (not literally, like eating, but a cozy habit you love)?

MY ANSWER: I’ve worked as a paralegal, marketing researcher, merchandiser, sales rep, retail store manager, fundraiser, project manager, and writer. In other words, many jobs, no career. I am currently not working outside the home, preferring to lean into the idea that I’m a genuine slacker or perhaps I’m accidentally retired along with my husband who worked as, and technically still is, a lawyer.

When not applying myself to the rigors of being a blogger, I like to goof around with recipes in the kitchen; or mess around with plants; or fret over interior design decisions; or go for walk; or read a book; or play board games; or watch a mystery or comedy TV show.

A quiet calm life makes me happy.

A really good day for me would involve fresh air, tasty food + drink, laughing with friends, reading/learning, and moments of gratitude for how well I’ve landed in life. My only “cozy habit” is to say tres bien when I drink my first mug of coffee in the morning. I consider it a blessing and a goal.

🟣 DEFINITION OF COOL

• Margy from Amusives asks: What generation of ‘cool’ did you grow up in? Has the term changed much as each generation used it?

• Mary from Mary J Melange asks: Can cool kids also be nerdy kids?

• Pat from retirementtransition asks: I’ve never been a Cool Kid… how can this always-been-a -Do-Bee become a truly Cool Kid?

MY ANSWER: As a former Do-Bee, in order to answer your questions about being a Cool Kid, I decided to research the term “cool” to learn something about its slang etymology, figuring that would shed light on the phrase Cool Kid.

I read three articles* and will summarize my findings thusly:

cool, as in a way to describe someone who is effortlessly with it, came into our lexicon in the 1920s via jazz;
cool is something someone else says about you, you cannot declare yourself to be cool; and
that which is considered cool changes about every decade so it can mean whatever you want it to mean within the context of your life experiences &/or the decade in which you are currently living.

🟣 GENERAL KNOWLEDGE

• Esoterica from Existential Ergonomics asks: What topic could you give a 20-minute presentation on without any preparation?

MY ANSWER: I could talk about the ups and downs of personal blogging or what I’ve learned about interior design through the lens of the mistakes I’ve made.

🟣 GEOGRAPHY

• Linda from The Task at Hand asks: what state do you live in?

• Bijoux from Bytes from the ‘Burbs asks: … have you always lived in the Cincinnati area? Did you go to college in Ohio? And do you agree that Graeter’s is the best ice cream ever?

MY ANSWER: I live in southwest Ohio, although I was born and raised in central Ohio. After attending college in this region I stayed. And YES Graeter’s ice cream is the best ice cream ever. I’m especially keen on their Vanilla Bean or their Caramel.

🟣 PERSONALITY

• Victoria from Victoria Ponders asks: has humor always served you well…in your work life, with friends/family? It seems like such a potent part of your personality. And does your humor come from some familial source? A nature or nurture gift?

• Lynette from In the Net! – Pictures and Stories of Life asks: are you an introvert or extrovert, and has this consciously affected your life choices?

• Deb from Debs Despatches asks: is the person we see here at the Spectacled Bean the real you, or only a slice of you? I know you choose (as do I) to exclude certain matters, but other than that bit of editing, do we get to see the real Ally Bean?

MY ANSWER: I seem to have been born with a sense of humor. I know that from early on I could crack up my parents with my quips. They both could be humorous, but were more reserved than I so my truthfulness made them laugh, but got me in trouble, too.

I’m an introvert who can be extroverted when necessary. I believe that is now referred to as an ambivert. It’s only been with age that I’ve come to understand myself, my ability to work successfully with people BUT to also embrace my innate desire to avoid people.

The person you see here is the real me, albeit with a blogging nom de plume. I don’t talk about everything I do, however the way in which I talk about that which I do is the same here as in real life. Well, not entirely true… in real life I swear more.

🟣 STYLE

• Gigi from Gigi’s Ramblings asks: How would you describe your fashion/style choices? Boho Chic, Classic, Jeans and Tee, etc. Also, you’ve mentioned you have curly/wavy hair… what is your preferred styling method and why?

Suzanne from Picture Retirement asks: What is your favorite color and why?

MY ANSWER: I tend to be a casual jeans and t-shirt girl, opting for flats or boots or Birks depending on the weather. I like simple lines, tailored clothes, but nothing too traditional or formal. No ruffles ever.

I don’t do florals or checks. I wear understated jewelry like hoop or stud earrings, smallish necklaces, and my wedding rings. My curly frizzy graying hair is pulled back into a ponytail or twisted into a librarian bun at the nape of my neck.

When it comes to my wardrobe I stick with a medium Summer palette a la Carole Jackson’s Color Me Beautiful system. My favorite color is teal. I look good in it and I like to see in my home, too. I find it soothing.

🟣 TRAVEL

• Deb from Closer to the Edge asks about: The most fascinating place you have ever visited and what made it so?

• Margaret from Stargazer asks: Now that Z-D is retired, do you have any plans to travel? If so, where is your dream destination and why?

• Neil from YEAH, ANOTHER BLOGGER asks: Do you have any vacation plans for the second half of 2023?

MY ANSWER: It’s a toss-up about the most fascinating place I’ve visited. I liked seeing: the Alhambra in Granada, Spain [gorgeous intricate tilework]; Banff and Lake Louise in Alberta, Canada [picture perfect vistas]; and Charleston, South Carolina, USA [funky buildings, groovy vibe]. Plus I liked, and relaxed into, the lushness of Hawaii and Wales.

We probably won’t be traveling anywhere outside of Ohio this year, but eventually would like to see more of Canada, visit all the U.S. Presidential Libraries, and go to Spain, France, Italy. Also return to England again, maybe visit the University of Exeter where I spent a term when I was in undergrad.

We’ll see how it plays out.

🟣 WRITING

• Dave from LIFE IN A WORD asks: Do you have other outlets for your writing besides blogging?

• Arlene from Somerton Smith asks: What other things are you writing these days?

• Mona from Wayward Sparkles asks: I was wondering whether you’ve ever considered taking the top 10 to 20 best of your posts (your choice) and turning them into a book? Or perhaps you might write a book of the best wisdom you’ve gotten or given on your blog?

• Pam from ROUGHWIGHTING asks: Do you think before you write, or just go ahead and be a panster and write as the words come?

MY ANSWER: I only write this blog, nothing more. When it comes to writing posts I know the topic or situation I want to write about but then just babble as the words come, with no advance outline in mind.

I’m a pantster who edits ~~mercilessly~~.

I’ve talked with some published authors about whether I could turn my posts into a book of essays and the upshot is that I don’t have the desire or patience to write a book. You need a raging fire in your belly to do that– and all I have in my belly is one blue tip safety match.

🟣 ZEN-DEN

• Nicole from GIRL in a BOY HOUSE asks: I’d like to ask how you and Zen Den met.

• Janet from Janet’s Smiles asks: Will you ever post a picture of you and your hubby?

• Linda from WALKIN’, WRITIN’, WIT & WHIMSY asks: … my question to you would be “how has life changed for you since Z-D retired?” I know you wrote about his side hustle but that is from home, so he has no commute and (hopefully) creates his own schedule. Are you getting out for the long walks you had hoped to?

• Colleen from Martin Family Moments asks: Since you don’t post photos of yourself or your husband, could you choose the closest two celebrities that might be your doppelgangers?

MY ANSWER: Zen-Den and I met in college when he was studying Spanish with a girl down the hall in my dorm. She introduced us and we hit it off immediately. At the time we were each dating someone else but knew we were destined for each other.

I doubt that I’ll ever post a photo of us because I’ve made it a point to keep this blog about words and ideas, almost completely free from personal people photos.

That being said, when we were younger Z-D looked like ~~his Uncle Don~~ John Belushi [Animal House] and I was told I looked like ~~my Great Aunt Idy~~ Mare Winningham [St. Elmo’s Fire]. However now, as old people, we’re looking more like Fred and Ethel Mertz [I Love Lucy].

Z-D’s retirement hasn’t played out quite like I imagined. It’s a long story, not mine to tell, but in addition to his side hustles he continued to work part-time for his employer for many months after he retired. Plus the house has needed lots of repairs that have kept us house poor, so we have yet to experience a full-time retirement lifestyle.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Next week ~~[or maybe later this week depending on my mood]~~ I’ll post the final installment HERE of this AMA Extravaganza. Once again I’ll be featuring the bloggers who asked the questions and answering their questions that best can be described as wildly miscellaneous and decidedly inventive.

You’ll see. You’ll like it.

* Sources: