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July Reply: Answering YOUR Questions About Blogging [AMA Part 1 Of 3]

/ Ally Bean / 185 Comments

INTRODUCTION

This is the longest blog post I’ve written for this blog.

On the one hand this goes against my established blogging ethos: keep it snappy, keep it short.  BUT on the other hand, and this is the point I’m attempting to make, I appreciate the questions that you, the Cool Kids, asked me a few weeks ago on my June AMA post.

I want to answer them truthfully so I got wordy.

ALSO, and perhaps you picked up on this, my ulterior motive for soliciting your AMA questions wasn’t to give me a way to yada-yada-yada about myself more [Lord knows I’ve done that enough over the years], it was/is so that I have a smooth way to introduce you to each other.

Yep, that’s what I’m doing here.

You see, many new bloggers have found The Spectacled Bean in the last year and I wanted to create a way in which I could politely introduce y’all to each other: old-timers meet newbies, new-timers meet oldbies.

That sort of thing.

Thus by highlighting who asked each question and adding a link to their blog I am doing that, hoping to create and extend a sense of community that is, in my experience, the backbone of personal blogging.

But wait, there’s more.

In addition, as a way of visually breaking up this long post, I’ve added a few photos of TV show characters whose attitude, I believe, is representative of what it takes to be a well-rounded successful personal blogger.

See if you agree.

YOUR QUESTION + MY ANSWERS

The following questions, occasionally edited for clarity, are listed alphabetically using the first letter of the first name of the Cool Kid who asked the question. Thanks to everyone who asked a question. My answers immediately follow each question.   

🔹 Annika Perry from Annika Perry asks: Friendships formed here are very much part of the heart of blogging. In which ways are your friendships formed here similar and/or different to those in person?

MY ANSWER: My friendships in the blogosphere are based on kindred creative spirits who like to think about life and laugh often. My friendships in real life are based more on shared experiences and living geographically close to each other.

🔹 Christie Hawkes from So what? Now what? asks: As for my questions, when you first started blogging, did you intentionally set out to build your tribe of cool kids or did it happen more organically? Besides the effort that goes into reading and responding to comments, what else surprised you about blogging?

MY ANSWER: I didn’t set out to create a tribe of Cool Kids. It happened organically over time as more readers found my blog and jumped into the comment section. And that is the my biggest surprise about blogging: people are more than willing to chat about stuff IF you give them a nonjudgmental + fun online place to do so.

🔹 Donna Connolly from RETIREMENT REFLECTIONS asks: What is your biggest pet peeve about blog comments?

MY ANSWER: My biggest pet peeve is the way in which WordPress arbitrarily tosses some comments into moderation, or worse spam, when I’ve not put someone into moderation or marked someone as spam. Some long-time commenters are always sent into moderation and I don’t know why. Flip side, some never-commented-here-before commenters are sent straight through the system without being approved by me. It’s wacky.

🔹 E.A. Wickham from bleuwater asks: My questions are when did you start blogging and why? How has your blog changed through the years?

MY ANSWER: I started blogging in 2004 because I was curious to see what blogs were about. Early on had various blogs that I now refer to as my starter blogs. As a personal blogger I’ve morphed from a diarist, jibber-jabber-ing daily, to what I think of as a weekly newspaper lifestyle columnist, talking about my life, eclectic topics of interest, and what makes people tick.

Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation: OPTIMISTIC

🔹 Eilene Lyon from Myricopia asks: How does one go about creating a meme? Bear in mind this question comes from someone who couldn’t figure out how to use Canva.

MY ANSWER: I don’t have a good answer to your question because I’ve never made a meme. I just stumble over memes online. That being said I do use Canva to make pretty images with quotes, so even though you mention that you “couldn’t figure out how to use Canva” I went there to learn about memes.

I discovered THIS seemingly straightforward how-to guide for making memes. A weak answer to your question, but it’s all I’ve got.

🔹 Endless Weekend from The Endless Weekend asks: Is it mostly spam that ends up being “commented” on older posts? Is that the reason you close comments after a few weeks? Why is it that you close comments on older (and still interesting!) posts?

MY ANSWER: It got to a point where I was overwhelmed with spam on older posts, so to save my sanity I decided to close them. BUT the reality is that many people still comment on previously closed posts. They do so in any current post’s comment section, meaning that the conversation continues– and the spammers can suck it.

🔹 Esoterica from Existential Ergonomics asks: I’m curious about your thoughts about bridging the changing *you* across a decade plus of blogging.

MY ANSWER: In the process of writing a personal blog for almost two decades I realize that I’ve evolved into a more generous mellower soul, more open-minded, more precise with my word choices, and just happy to goof off here without any particular goal in mind.

🔹 Jennifer Stone from Still Bitchy After 60 asks: So how do you manage to make all your comments so genuine?

MY ANSWER: In truth I am curious about what people have to say so my interest is genuine. However I’ll admit that when I started blogging I was awful at comments: often what I meant to say and what I said were 180º opposite.

Thus I researched how to reply to comments. I learned that comment replies should: 1) mirror the length of the comment you’re replying to; 2) focus on all aspects of what the commenter said; and 3) be chatty not stilted & pedantic.

Clara Oswald from Dr Who: CURIOUS

🔹 Julia Preston from Voices in My Head asks: What the heck is AMA? 🤔

MY ANSWER: Mea culpa for not explaining that AMA stands for Ask Me Anything.  It’s lingo from Reddit.

🔹 Kendra Purtell from An Audience of One [rhetorically] asks: How do you NOT respond when someone is kind enough to not only read your post, but also leave a thoughtful comment?

MY ANSWER: I don’t get it either. I consider every comment a gift and I want to say *thank you* in the only way I can which is to reply to the comment. But not everyone thinks like I/we do.

🔹 Marian Beaman from PLAIN And Fancy asks: Does your husband read your blog posts? replies in the comment section?

MY ANSWER: My husband reads my blog. When he was working in a downtown office he’d comment on my posts in the comment section, BUT now that he’s at home he comments by telling me in person what he thinks.

🔹 Marie A Bailey from 1 Write Way asks: How often do people suggest that you should “monetize” your blog since you have created such an engaging community?

MY ANSWER: Occasionally I’ll get an email from a company that wants to form a brand alliance and have me write posts about their products or services. I politely say “no.” I write this blog for snorts and giggles, to keep my brain clicking and my heart open, so to use it for profit seems ill-considered to me.

🔹 Michelle Goggins from MG Doodle Studio asks: Do you have any other blogging etiquette advice?

MY ANSWER: I’m not sure that I do. Maybe remind people to check their spelling? Or make sure your links work? Or make your blog look pretty so people enjoy seeing it? That’s what comes to mind. Is that etiquette or just common sense?

Karen Walker from Will & Grace: AMUSED

🔹 NGS from The Time for Change asks: Do people ever reference things to you from your blog from a long time ago that you’ve completely forgotten about? How has your personal view on blogging changed over the years? The role of your blog in your life? Do you have any regrets about something you’ve posted/not posted?

MY ANSWER: Yes, people occasionally remember things I wrote about that I’d forgotten I wrote about and that’s trippy. My personal view of blogging has remained consistent over the years: blogging is a great way to communicate, feel understood, learn things, and LAUGH.

As for regrets, I know I’ve written posts that sounded meaner or loopier than I meant them to be, but I don’t regret it. You learn by doing when it comes to personal blogging. It’s all about being vulnerable, figuring out what works or not, then moving forward gracefully.

🔹 Nicole MacPherson from GIRL in a BOY HOUSE asks: Is there a TYPE of blog you like the best? Are there certain blogs that you favour for certain reasons?

MY ANSWER: I don’t lean into a specific niche of blogs. What I like to read, and this is incredibly subjective, is a blog written by someone who seems to have an authentic, slightly off-the-wall, personality. As long as the person doesn’t write anything crude or vile or inflammatory, I don’t care about their topics as much as the overall vibe of the blog.

🔹 Patty Moore Wilson from WEDNESDAY’S CHILD asks: I didn’t know I could close comments after a certain time!!! So… how do I do that?

MY ANSWER: In my version of WP you go to Settings, then Discussion, then Other comment settings, to “Automatically close comments on posts older than [you fill-in the number] days”

Once you do that you have to scroll down the page and hit Save Changes and then you’re all set. You can change the number of days anytime you want so it’s not like you’ve locked into it forever.

🔹 Pete Springer from Pete Springer asks: What do you do when working with a fellow blogger who wants to do a dual or guest post but isn’t communicative about when the post might come out?

MY ANSWER: Good question but I don’t really know. The bloggers I’ve worked with have been organized and precise about when something will be published. My only thought, an obvious one, is that you could try sending an urgent email asking for the “when” but this is personal blogging, not a work setting, so I don’t think you have much leverage.

Penny from The Big Bang Theory: DETERMINED

🔹 Rae Cod from RAE COD’S WRITING asks: I have you pegged as an epic time manager, capable of keeping up with all your blog comments… how long (on average) does it take?

MY ANSWER: I’ve never timed myself when it comes to replying to comments left on this blog. I pop in and out of blogland randomly during the day so I’m not sure.

That being said, let’s say I get 100 comments and it takes me 3 minutes to reply to each one: 300 minutes = 5 hours. On the one hand that’s a lot of time but it’s not all at once and it is at my own pace, so it seems like fun.

🔹 Shelley from Quaint Revival asks: Do you have a title in mind for a blog post Before or After you write the blog post and why? What inspires your clever titles? Do you write a post all in one setting or over a period of time in between your posts? What is one lesson for newbie bloggers to learn that you wish you had known at the beginning of your blogging experience?

MY ANSWER: I rarely have a blog title in mind when I start writing blog posts, they come to me in the process of writing. I write one blog post over many days, often in dribs and drabs, as time permits and inspiration finds me.

As a newbie I wish I’d understood that LESS IS MORE. Early on I drove myself batty posting daily, often long wordy posts, because I thought I was supposed to do that. But I learned otherwise and scaled back to a  weekly-ish schedule. Readers seem to respond positively to less from me, than to more from me.

That’s the lesson. 🙄

🔹 Suzanne from LIFE OF A DOCTOR’S WIFE asks: How many people in offline-life know that you blog? And do you ever get together with people you know from blogging (and nowhere else)? And do you ever get recognized in the wild? (Difficult, I know, without photos… but I feel like it COULD happen.)

MY ANSWER: Anyone who pays any attention to me in real life should know that I write a personal blog, having done so for almost 20 years now. My blog has never been a secret.

I’ve never gotten together with other bloggers. If they exist in the wild around here I don’t know who they are and obviously they don’t know who I am either. Or they know I’m here and just haven’t included me. That’s a possibility too.

🔹 Wynne Leon from Surprised By Joy asks: If answering comments wasn’t what you expected when you started blogging – what did you expect? And has what it has turned out to be better, worse, or just different?

MY ANSWER: I expected personal blogging to be small and more tight-knit than it is. I thought it’d be like efficiently sending a fast email to a few friends and family, just doing it publicly so that everyone could read it in the same place, then reply underneath. What I envisioned is what FB, that arrived on the scene a few years after I started blogging, turned out to be.

For me personal blogging has been much bigger and more far-flung; it’s better than what I thought it’d be. I live in the midwest USA yet connect with people around the world via their blogs, their interests, their lifestyles. It’s all good– and endlessly compelling.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Next week I’ll be back answering more questions, this time about who I am [HERE]. Then the following week I’ll conclude this AMA Extravaganza with a post comprised of your miscellaneous questions [HERE].

In the meantime, may I suggest that you take a peek at some of the bloggers who asked questions here. Who knows, you may make some new bloggy friends.

A Glimpse Into My Heart: Books I’ve Reread + Reader Comments About Randomness

/ Ally Bean / 231 Comments

The quote above is attributed to Francois Mauriac, French author and winner of the 1952 Nobel Peace Prize for Literature. I didn’t know a thing about this man until I researched him, btw.

If we are to believe in Mauriac’s idea, one that I have never thought about before, then it follows that by sharing which novels I’ve reread I’m letting you know who I am.

Heart-wise, that is.

However before I tell you which books I’ve reread I’m going to insert 3 provisos, lest I be misunderstood:

✅ I know that some people never reread anything, but I do reread novels. Never non-fiction though, except that I reread cookbooks which are technically non-fiction so maybe I don’t know what I’m saying here.

✅ I know that some people who read novels then see a movie based on the novel consider that like reading a book for a second time. I am not one of those people: books are books, movies are movies. They are different animals.

✅ I know that technically rereading children’s stories to a child is rereading, but I believe that doing that is not in the spirit of this exercise so I haven’t included any of those books here.

Thus, without further ado, presented in alphabetical order, here are 9 books I’ve reread as an adult:

Alice in Wonderland* by Lewis Carroll

Chocolat by Joanne Harris

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues by Tom Robbins

I Capture the Castle* by Dodie Smith

Jane Eyre* by Charlotte Brontë

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

The Screwtape Letters* by C.S. Lewis

Winnie-the-Pooh* by A.A. Milne

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance* by Robert M. Pirsig

* Books on my list with an asterisk are ones included in Books Really Worth Re-Reading, a Goodreads list of 753 books.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Do you ever reread books? Why or why not?

Now that I’ve revealed which books I’ve read more than once, do you feel like you’ve gotten a glimpse into my heart? OR do you think Mauriac’s idea is dubious at best?

What say you about “lame one-liner reviews” currently popular on the back covers of novels?

What book are you currently reading? Is this the first time you read it OR are you rereading it?

AND FINALLY FOUR READER COMMENTS…

About something RANDOM in your daily life:

“… there is plenty of ‘random’ in my life…. looking for things because no one ever puts anything back where it goes. (How can so many pairs of scissors possibly disappear?!?)… I’ll spend next Tuesday morning hanging small bars of soap in young peach trees to serves as deer repellent.”

~ Linda Lou

“I stopped for iced coffee from Bad Ass Coffee today. They use coffee to make their ice cubes, which tastes good, of course, but makes me happy beyond practical reasoning!”

~ Christie Hawkes

“Currently, I am on peony watch – looking out the back window all day. The older peony has already flowered and dropped all it’s petals. The newer peony (which is my favorite; don’t tell the other one) is so close to blooming that I can’t stand it.”

~ Gigi Rambles

“As for random thoughts, I was thinking of how clean my kitchen will be once my kids move out. LOL!”

~ joyroses13

In Which I Admit To Joyfully Thwarting Some Youthful Shenanigans + Reader Comments

/ Ally Bean / 200 Comments

 Joyfully Thwarting Youthful Shenanigans

Remember Muttley, Dick Dastardly’s sidekick?

It’s good to be an adult.

[Bwha-ha-ha!]

A few weeks ago we had an unusually warm day. The temps were in the 70s and it was dry and sunny outside. Around 4:00 p.m. I went into the living room to read.

Before I plopped down on the loveseat I decided to open the window just a little bit, about 2″, to take advantage of the pleasant fresh air. As I began to read I heard rustling sounds outside the window. That’s not unusual when you live on a wooded lot, so I didn’t think much about it.

It wasn’t until I heard voices that I became interested in what was happening outside the window.

“So you gonna do it?”

[Do what, thought I?]

I got up from the loveseat and walked over to look out the window.  Immediately below me were two neighbor boys, about 10 years old, who were scrunched down hiding in our bushes while having a serious conversation about what one was going to do.

“Maybe.”

The gist of their conversation, that I could clearly overhear through the open window, was that one boy had challenged the other to run up onto our stoop, ring the doorbell, then run back into the bushes to hide.

A classic prank, no?

They figured, correctly, that from their vantage point crouched down in our bushes they’d be able to see whoever opened the door and watch that person look confused.

IT WAS GOING TO BE HILARIOUS.

They just knew it.

So I waited patiently at the window. Eventually one kid found the gumption he needed to be a prankster. He ran up onto the stoop, rang the bell, then darted into the bushes.

THERE WAS SNICKERING.

Lots of it.

I did nothing except stand quietly at the window looking down on the youth below, waiting to see what they were going to do when no one came to the door.

[Truth bomb, I may have been smiling a bit too much.]

As you can imagine when no one came to the door these two boys were defeated. Their classical prank had failed. Their shoulders sagged, they stood up in the bushes, and muttered. Then the one who’d rang the bell stepped out of the bushes and started to walk across our lawn to his house.

“Dude not that way they’ll see ‘ya.”

To which the first one looked exasperated as he shouted back to his friend still in the bushes, “THEY’RE NOT HOME, haven’t you been paying attention?”

“Oh yah…”

And with that the boys walked slowly across our yard in plain sight, looking dejected, in a way that only failed pranksters can look.

And me, what did I do? I started laughing and am still smiling when I think about how I thwarted this prank. There are moments when being an adult is SO FUN!

Then, of course, who could forget Huckleberry Hound?

~ ~ • ~ ~

AND FINALLY FOUR READER COMMENTS…

About your take on the word Matriarch:

“I am the matriarch in my family, now that my mom is gone…and I don’t have a problem with that word. Or crone or even sea hag. So long as it is said to me with love, respect and good humour. No one laughs harder at me than myself 😂.”

~ Deb

“Call me any name you want to as long as I think ‘the shoe fits’…. ‘Elderly’ is a tough one, though. Some day, many years down the road, I may earn that particular stripe but only because of the eighty or ninety wonderful years leading up to it.”

~ Dave

“Matriarch is a word that means she is the head of her tribe, in my case, that would be my mother. My turn will come. Interpretation is a funny thing. Words are used in various ways and transform over the years, their original meaning becoming muddled.”

~ Dale

“Wow. I grew up in a matriarchal family so I see it as a compliment! Isn’t it funny how we all have our own perceptions based on our experience? Sea hag would raise my hackles!”

~ Kay

Forget Resolutions, These Are My 2023 New Year’s Rejections

/ Ally Bean / 239 Comments

My brain trust. Obviously

How My New Year’s Rejections Came To Be

THANKS TO EVERYONE who read my last post and answered my question, a call to action, about what I should write about next.  You’re the best, my personal brain trust.  I was feeling indecisive and needed some help.

I’ve never asked for guidance like that before and given the chance to tell me what to do y’all came through. Come to find out my brain trust wants me to write about what I’m rejecting in 2023.  

Oddly enough I tossed that topic into the choices at the last minute before hitting publish.

A friend and I had been talking about how comfortable we are rejecting trends and ideas that at one time would have seemed important to us. We got laughing about what we dubbed our New Year’s Rejections.

We weren’t saying that a particular idea, a solution, or a way of living is bad for everyone, just that something doesn’t work for us. Rejection is a sound concept if you’re clear about your underlying assumptions and what space you’ll create in your life because of it.

 What I’m Rejecting This Year

GETTING TO MY LIST of New Year’s Rejections a la 2023, I give you the following that I shall be rejecting for at least a year, maybe longer:

√ Newsletters – From a marketing point of view I understand them. They’re a way for a business/author to distribute information to their customers/readers keeping everyone up to date. They’re predicated on the hope that the customer/reader actually reads the newsletter and doesn’t send it directly to spam.

However as a person who receives these newsletters, I don’t like them. I rarely read them because they seem more like advertisements for new products than sources of information. There’s no engagement with the company/author and I sense I’m a mark, a pawn in someone’s game. This makes me feel irritable so I’ve unsubscribed to the ones I was receiving.

Assumption rejected? I am gaining valuable insight and information.

√ Cocktails – As I imbibed a few over the holidays I realized that: 1) I wasn’t taken with any of them; 2) they were fussy and expensive; and 3) that I prefer a shot of top-shelf liquor neat, or on the rocks, or with a splash of club soda. Thus I’ve decided to simplify my life, save money, and forgo mixed drinks.

Assumption rejected? I am having fun because I’m drinking something fancy.

√ Steps Per Day – I’ve never been one to judge my physical healthiness based exclusively on numbers, whether the numbers are external validation &/or criticism. I think that trusting myself to know how to live my life is the best approach, especially when it comes to walking.

To wit, there’ll be no recording of my steps each day. Instead, I’ll move when I want to, the amount I want to. I’ll walk with no preconceived idea [10,000 steps] of what I have to accomplish each day.

Assumption rejected? I am being healthy by focusing on and knowing a number.

√ Sweet potatoes/yams – Okay, I understand the reason why these starchy vegetables are good for me. They’re filled with fiber and minerals and magical properties helpful to women of a certain age. However, potatoes shouldn’t be sweet, they just shouldn’t. If I eat a potato, it’s going to be a basic old Idaho spud– or some redskin new potatoes.

Assumption rejected? I am eating something good for me.

√ Word of the Year – In 2011 I started picking one word to be my word of the year. I’ve continued this tradition for about a decade BUT more years than not my word of the year hasn’t made me feel good about my life.

That is, instead of getting a smoother or simplified or enjoyable year, I’ve gotten the opposite. The gods have laughed in my face. Thus I’m foregoing a word of the year to see if, by chance, I don’t need it.

Assumption rejected? I am living my best life because I circle back to a word, a 21st century talisman for self-improvement.

AND FINALLY THREE READER COMMENTS…

ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES with Alexa:

“Our Alexa is a buttinsky quite often. Just yesterday, I was chatting with my husband and daughter about crackers and Alexa piped up, “I’ve added crackers to your grocery list.” No thank you, Alexa. And then she wanted to know if we wanted a suggestion for something she thinks we need to re-order. NO THANK YOU ALEXA.”

~ Suzanne

“That’s funny what Alexa did and said. I’ve had her answer questions on TV when her name is said in a commercial or TV show.”

~ Jean

“We have never activated Alexa or Siri on any of our devices, finding the idea of them sitting there listening to our inane chatter rather creepy. Unbeknownst to us, however, my husband’s new Kindle reader came with Alexa activated. One evening, we were watching some show in which an actor asked his device to find a particular song he had been looking for. Almost immediately, a voice came from Bill’s Kindle asking if this was the song we were looking for, and some piece of music started playing. We did lose our stuffing, and disabled the little snoop faster than you can sing ‘Hit the Road, Jack.'”

~ Donna