A Look At Archetypes: Who Are Your Friends?

May 19, 2016May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 57 Comments

Laverne & Shirley: Back in the day one friend was all you needed! { Source }

This is something fun to think about.

I was listening to Sorta Awesome, a podcast I enjoy. The conversation topic of Episode 54 was how every woman needs a variety of friends in her life because each friend serves a different, but necessary, role in your life.

They were talking about archetypes, not specific names of people. This wasn’t gossip.

As the show went on I started thinking about who I need in my life. The women on the program believed they needed 10 friends, but I decided that at this point in my life I need 5 friends.

Call me a minimalist. Or an introvert.

Below you’ll find my list of the five friends who I need to keep me grateful, connected, grounded, hopeful, and happy.

[A digression. Yesterday in The Guardian I read an article: “Why don’t I have any friends?” Not surprisingly, there are a variety of answers to this question. I mention the article here, my gentle readers, for your general edification. Just saying. No disrespect intended.]

~ ~ • ~ ~

The Biographer… is the friend who knows all the nuances + details of your life, meaning that any problem you take to her needs no background story because she knows it, she knows you, and she knows what you need to do.

~ • ~

The Oprah Fan… is the friend who knows what’s on-trend, whether it be spiritual or sartorial, funny or frowned-upon, healthy or home-y, and she is willing to share her knowledge so you’ll be on-trend, too.

~ • ~

The Loyal Opposition… is the friend who, like you, pays attention to the events in the world, but often comes to a different conclusion about what’s going on and why it is happening.

~ • ~

The Cheerleader… is the friend who is on your side, without any need for you to explain or justify, in-depth, what you are up to; she’s your own personal pep squad.

~ • ~

The Snarkologist… is the friend who makes me laugh out loud because she is unfiltered, truthful, and willing to skewer, in a most wonderful way, anything or anyone who deserves to be taken down a peg.

~ ~ • ~ ~

How about you, my gentle readers? Who are your friends?

Q Is For Quince, Let Us Quote

April 20, 2016January 28, 2021 / Ally Bean / 40 Comments

“They dined on mince, and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon, the moon.
They danced by the light of the moon.”

~ Edward Lear, The Owl and the Pussy-Cat

• • •

{ Image Source }

• • •

I like quinces.

They’ve been around Europe since before medieval times, mentioned in literature by both the Romans and the Greeks.

If you’ve ever seen one in the produce section of the grocery store here on this side of the pond, you know that they’re pretty to look at, a nice yellow color.

Albeit they’re as hard as a butternut squash when you go to cut into one, they have an interesting shape, as seen in the image above.

They taste like spicy pear to me, and are delicious when made into a jelly or jam.

Or yummy as Membrillo [aka quince paste] with some Spanish Manchego Cheese OR Irish White Cheddar Cheese.

On an English Water Cracker, of course. OR on an Italian Crostini, if that’s what you have around.

Perhaps with a glass of chilled New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc while sitting on a North American deck, waiting for the sun to set and the moon to rise, enjoying nature.

Yes, this is what I think of when I think of quinces: charming words, delicious international nibbles + kicking back to relax.

See why I like ’em?

What Say We Try Kindness?

March 17, 2016August 5, 2020 / Ally Bean / 49 Comments

I’ve blogged for a long time.

In fact, while messing around the other day in the Internet Archive Wayback Machine for something unrelated to this blog, I found a logo from 10 years ago for an online group of bloggers who committed to using words kindly.

Although I’d forgotten about it, I was part of that group.

• • •

We were an optimistic bunch.

We sincerely thought that blogging would evolve into a source of respectful understanding and positive connections among people in this world.

I’m charmed by the naiveté of it all. Especially in light of the past few week’s endless noise on FB and vitriol on Twitter.

But of course those social media didn’t exist when this group formed, so we had no idea about what was coming.

• • •

I rarely long for the good ole days.

I realize that it’s easy to idealize remembrances of times past, and that these remembrances are often irrelevant when it comes to the issues of the day.

I’m a realist. What was, isn’t.

But in this one case, regarding social media, I’m going to suggest that stepping back from how we as a society now do things would be a good idea. The 24/7 insatiable need to be noticed and adored, which is how social media works currently, is not the best way to connect.

In contrast, looking back to 10 years ago, I remember how early blogging worked. It was a heady experience that focused on authentic connections with other people, rather than the care and feeding of your ego.

• • •

I know that I’m preaching to the choir here.

And that my small voice of reason is going to be drowned out by the selfie-absorbed, the narcissists, the haters, the trolls. But occasionally I like to believe that I might influence someone in a positive way that encourages him or her…

To re-connect with their heart.