Positivity Got You Down? Let Me Suggest Something

Not everyone grooves on uplifting thoughts all the time.

I understand this.

In fact when I was in college there were no Gratitude Journals, that wasn’t a thing like it is today.

Instead we kept what we called Bitch Books. They were nothing special to look at, just spiral notebooks with a theme, however it sounded better to refer to them as Bitch Books.

So we did.

To clarify, we called them this not because we thought of ourselves as bitches, even if we might have been, but because we needed a place to write about our issues, all the wrongs that we felt we’d suffered.

Oy vey!

Granted we also discussed our issues in lengthy conversations with a few people who would now be called your negativity friends [HERE], but often there were hurts that could only be expressed adequately, with the proper amount of collegiate drama, by writing about them ad nauseam in our Bitch Books.

We hid our books from our nosy roommates and unenlightened boyfriends because they could never know what we were really thinking. Heaven forbid there’d be open authentic communication.

We knew that our profs would never see the crap we’d written about them, so many pages of my book were filled with deets of professorial incompetence, stupidity, and hypocrisy. No surprise, huh?

I’d not thought about Bitch Books in decades, and probably wouldn’t have thought about them again, if it weren’t for an advertisement that shows up, unsolicited, on my Instagram feed*.

This intrusive ad confirms that everything old is new again. To wit, let me share a link to today’s version of a Bitch Book.

It’s stylish, something that’s now called a Grievance Journal [HERE], described by Boardwalk Gifts, the purveyor of it, as a “the perfect repository for all your existential angst and daily gripes!” 

Which no doubt it is.

And here’s the dealio, which is really where I’m going with this post. For a mere $28.00 you, my little bitches gentle readers, can purchase your very own Grievance Journal in which you, if you feel the need, can write about all the crap that happens to you.

OR, and this is just a thought, you could replicate what we did back in the day and write your angsty unhappiness in an 1 Subject College Ruled Spiral Notebook [HERE] currently available for $3.39 at Target.

It’s your money and your life, of course.

Obviously I don’t know how much bitching you need to do, so please, I encourage you, do what you feel suits you best.

* I’m on Instagram as thespectacledbean [HERE]

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever heard of an old-school Bitch Book or a new-fangled Grievance Journal?

Have you written one? Why or why not?

Did you once have, or do you now have, negativity friends?

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Think Before You Speak: The One About The Cashier Kid And What Bob Taught Him

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I WAS SHOPPING IN our local Kroger, standing in line behind a chatty woman who was talking with our cashier, a kid about 18 y.o. He was tall, slim, and personable– plus efficient.

I liked him.

As he goes to hand this chatty woman her bag of groceries an older man who is also tall, slim, and personable, a customer on his way out of the store, shouts over to this cashier kid saying: “how ‘ya doing stupid?”

The customer does a little hand wave and smiles as he walks by.

Our cashier kid smiles, waves back, and says: “okay.”

The older man nods his head, keeps walking, and goes out the door.

I figure this older man is the cashier kid’s grandpa and don’t think anything more about it. They looked enough alike for that to be true.

But I was wrong.

Well, the chatty woman in front of me was NOT PLEASED by this brief conversation. She immediately begins to interrogate this cashier kid: “do you know that man?”

The cashier kid says: “he’s a customer here.”

“And he calls you STUPID?!!”

“Yes, but it’s okay he’s pretty nice, really.”  

The cashier kid starts to look frazzled, clearly not into this conversation, but the chatty woman won’t let it go, she NEEDS to know more so she presses this cashier kid: “You mean he’s a customer who talks to you like that and you’re alright with it? Did you tell your manager what he said? You don’t have to take verbal abuse.”

There’s a long awkward pause.

At this point I realize that the cashier kid is in over his head. This previously pleasant conversation with the chatty woman has taken a weird turn that has him tongue-tied, so I butt in and ask the obvious question saying: “WHY does that man call you stupid?”

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And with that THE STORY came out. A good one, totally understandable, one that just goes to show that a little bit of humor goes a long way toward making someone else feel comfortable in a trying situation.

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COME TO FIND OUT on the first day the cashier kid worked a register by himself he made a major mistake while ringing up this older man’s groceries. Instead of ringing up a $2.50 half loaf of bread, the cashier kid goofed, ringing it up for close to $30.00.

How did this happen, you might be wondering?

Well for some reason our cashier kid got flustered when he saw a half loaf of bread. His mom buys whole loaves, so this was new to him.

He thought it was a speciality item from the bakery and figured he had to do something manually, like you do when there’s a preordered sheet cake. So he input the code for sheet cake, weighed the bread like it was fresh produce [another thing he shouldn’t have done], and ended up with an expensive half loaf of bread.

He immediately realized he’d done something VERY WRONG so he called to the front end manager to come over to help, then as a way of explanation about what was going on he told this older man that: “I’m stupid.”

To which this older man, the customer, replied: “I’m Bob. Glad to meet ‘ya, Stupid.” 

Dad humor, obviously.

But the kind of humor that according to this cashier kid made him smile. In fact it was just what he needed to hear, realizing that Bob wasn’t upset, wasn’t going to yell at him. That everything was going to work out okay eventually.

And that’s how the cashier kid met Bob, the aforementioned waving customer in the first part of this story, who paid that day without any complaint about what happened. But on his way out Bob leaned over to tell this cashier kid that THE LESSON from this was to never tell anyone that you’re stupid.

Why?

Because they might remember something negative you say about yourself and use it against you in the future.

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Happy Tuesday: 8 Random Links Presented For Your Eggheaded Enjoyment

THIS is one of those weird weeks that happens every year.

If you celebrate Easter in a religious way then this is Holy Week and you’re being churchy almost every day. Also Ramadan continues through this week & Passover starts mid-week.

And of course this year we’re adding the political circus that surrounds The Donald.

HOWEVER if these religious holidays are not part of your family traditions and you’re doing your best to not let The Donald live rent-free in your mind, then this week, I’m guessing, is no big deal for you and you’re focused on eating chocolate.

I come to this conclusion having recently shopped at Kroger where chocolate dominates every aisle.

[A digression: Our local store is being remodeled so shopping is like a scavenger hunt. Has been for weeks. It may be that I’m seeing chocolate everywhere because the same displays are being moved around daily.] 

ANYHOW past experience has taught me, the intrepid blogger, that this will be a slow week in blogland. And that’s okay by me.

So instead of my usual flapdoodle and twaddle, I’ll share the following links that I’ve been saving for a week like this one.

Enjoy! Let me know what you think in the comments below.

8 RANDOM LINKS FOR EGGHEADS

This isn’t how Marie Kondo does things, but I’m here for the magic of knolling.

Laughed while reading this and refuse to answer these questions dubbed 5 of the worse interview questions.

There’s more to life than skinny jeans and this quiz will help you determine which cut is your style now.

Makes good sense to keep your terracotta pots clean.

Only knew a few of the names for beer can and bottle sizes, but feel better informed even if I’ll stick with a standard can or longneck bottle size.

Been enjoying Wordiply every morning as a kind of warm-up for using my words elsewhere.

Who among us hasn’t longed for a medieval mac and cheese recipe and the history associated with it?

And finally a look at flapper fashion…

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A 5-Question Multiple-choice Pop Quiz About A Power Outage That Rankled Ms. Bean

Yes, my little huckleberries, today I have a pop quiz for you. Anyone who answers all 5 questions correctly will receive a gold star ⭐️ which, I think we can agree, is quite nice. What more could you want? 

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Q1: What was Ms. Bean doing when the power went out at 6:00 p.m. on Friday?

A. Editing a new blog post about the meaning of life.

B. Playing an old-time word game, UpWords, with her sweet patootie whilst enjoying Classic Vinyl on SiriusXM.

C. Making a chocolate soufflé to celebrate the weekend.

D. Writing a strongly worded tweet criticizing Space Karen for ruining Twitter.

Q2: What caused the power to start flickering and turn off in a dramatic ending to a long week?

A. A roofing shingle on our house came loose, crashed down onto a utility line, and *bam* no power.

B. A crazed squirrel a few blocks over ate through an electrical line and *shazam* no power.

C. Torrential rain and high winds knocked over an old tree onto an electric substation and *kapow* no power.

D. Thor the God of Thunder, son of Odin and Freya and source of the name for Thursday, had a hissy fit and *poof* no power.

Q3: What did Ms. Bean mutter when she saw realized what had happened?

A. Now what?!!

B. Where is that damned squirrel!

C. The end is nigh, repent ye sinners while ye may.

D. Holy Fricking Mole-y! I’M. NOT. HAPPY.

Q4: How long did the power outage last and what was the temperature inside the house when it came back on?

A. A few minutes then all was well again; temperature remained at 68ºF.

B. A few hours just long enough for Ms. Bean to fret about the food in the refrigerator going bad; temperature went down to 65ºF.

C. 16 hours meaning that Ms. Bean slept fitfully knowing the food in the refrigerator had gone bad, but not the freezer… yet; temperature plummeted to 56ºF.

D. over 24 hours thereby causing the food in the refrigerator and the freezer to go bad; temperature bottomed out at 54ºF.

Q5: Did Ms. Bean and Zen-Den go to the grocery store on Saturday and spend mucho dinero to buy food to replace what was in the refrigerator when the power went out?

A. Yes, of course they did.

B. Nope, the power outage was just a blip.

C. Maybe, but first they went to buy a lottery ticket feeling it’d be the best way to finance the unanticipated expense of buying food for the refrigerator again having been grocery shopping on Friday afternoon.

D. What makes you think they went grocery shopping on a Saturday?

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