Tired

A Short Rant About Conversations With People Who Lack Self-awareness

/ Ally Bean / 202 Comments

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BEGIN [a don’t shoot the messenger] RANT

Let’s talk about something regarding people whose lack of self-awareness and conversational style is getting on my nerves this holiday season.

To wit, of late I have twice found myself chatting with a person who says something to the effect of: Here is what happened to me, it is an example of A.

I have then replied by saying: I believe you and agree with your assessment that this is an example of A.  I say this because this is what they’ve told me.

I am not twisting their words.

I am demonstrating understanding and EMPATHY.

At which point I’ve been told that I am wrong: that this situation is not an example of A, it is an example of B.  Why would I suggest otherwise?

Then they glare or snarl at me, she who has repeated back to them that which they said.  I have not embellished what they said nor have I dismissed it.

I have paid attention to them, been STRAIGHTFORWARD– and dare I say KIND to listen to their woes.

And what is my reward for being nice?  Criticism.  As if I am responsible for what happened to them, which I am not.

What I am guilty of, however, is being a mirror that has reflected back to them, in their own words, how they are viewing their reality. And for this, I am made to suffer their crabbiness, their querulousness, their low-level wrath.

[Yes, I just used the thesaurus. Can you tell?]

I’ve no idea about how to handle this kind of RIDICULOUS conversational style, but I do find that I am less inclined to ever want to speak with these people again.

And perhaps that is what they want, for me to go away taking my ACTIVE listening skills and my mirror of truth with me.

So be it, says the introvert.

END [a don’t shoot the messenger] RANT

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Questions of the Day

Thinking about the rant above, have you ever been sniped at for agreeing with, then repeating back, that which someone just said to you?

If so, how do you handle the conversation in the moment and your feelings about it? Does this make you feel peeved, for instance?

If this has not happened to you, can I be friends with you and your friends? Pretty please. 

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Of Sunflowers & Simplicity: I’m Taking A Break From Blogging

/ Ally Bean

“Wherever life plants you, bloom with grace.”

~ French proverb

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My word of the year is SIMPLIFY so I’m going to do just that.

After a lousy summer filled with rude selfish people, extreme heat + humidity, and the specter of the Delta variant, I’m exhausted.

I’m more than ready for a few weeks, perhaps a month, of rest and rejuvenation.

I want to make like a cheerful sunflower, focusing on positivity and good vibes as I turn to follow the sun.

Thus as part of my way to rekindle my joie de vivre, I’m going to simplify my life by taking a break from blogging.

I’m allowed to do that, my blog, my rules. 

I hope to be back to the blogosphere in October; in the mean time, please stay safe everyone.

And play nice, ok?

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Not Monkeying Around: A Shocking Admission + 7 Links For Your Edification

/ Ally Bean / 187 Comments

Hello Gentle Readers and Kind Lurkers,

While I usually have a story to tell or some research to share here on this blog, that’s not going to happen this week.

You see, I’m tired of writing, don’t feel like doing it this week. Shocking, I know. Perhaps the rigors of blogging have finally gotten to me, assuming I believe that blogging has rigors.

Maybe yes, maybe no?

So instead of my usual weekly flapdoodle & twaddle I’ll share 7 links that I stumbled over in my reading. The links are about a variety of things, interesting things.  

Click on whichever ones you like, then chit-chat with me in the comments below.

Enjoy! 

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• Here is the PORTENT IDEA GENERATOR that “lets you create catchy titles for your next blog post, podcast, or video.”  You want to do that, right?  It’s fun.

• Here is THE WINE COLOR CHART. It’s cool. My favorite wines are Pale Yellow and Medium Ruby with a nod to Medium Garnet. You, too, can find out what your wine color palette looks like.

• Here is the ARE YOU A CONTROL FREAK? QUIZ. My results described me as “you can live and let live” meaning I’m not a control freak. This is one step above the bottom category of control freak tendencies, a category described as “are you being honest?”  

• Here is a drawing that shows the THE CIRCLES OF FRIENDSHIP. It’s intriguing, but according to it, the number of people I should know seems unrealistic, rather high. Decide for yourself.

• Here is the HOW STRONG IS YOUR MIND’S EYE APHANTASIA QUIZ.  Aphantasia is the inability to visualize objects in your mind. Not to brag but I have what they call perfect vision meaning I do not have Aphantasia. “You’re a naturally creative person with a very vivid imagination.” You betcha.

• Here is the OUTDOORSYNESS SCALE that provides you with a way to gage your own level of affinity for being outdoors. I am somewhere between “indoor cat” and “likes nature.”

• Here is an article about FRYING AN EGG ON THE SIDEWALK. I won’t spoil the how-to and what if of the process, but I will say it’s a fascinating read. Something to know, especially if you’re muttering about the summer heat.

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A Simply Questionable Post: Answering Four Questions, Acknowledging One Reality

/ Ally Bean / 212 Comments

THE ANSWERING FOUR QUESTIONS PART

We’re on staycation again this week, busy morphing a guest bedroom into a reading/yoga room. More on that later. In the meantime here is something I found when I read THIS POST by Martha at Seaside Simplicity. Because of her I know about the Tuesday 4 questions and this week the 4 questions are about blogging.

1.  Tell us about your blog.  When did you start blogging?

I started my first blog in 2004. My intentions were good, but our computer was unreliable and our internet connection was dodgy, resulting in an arbitrary posting schedule. Still, I stuck with it.
 
2.  What prompted you to begin blogging?

Pure curiosity to see if I could do it.
 
3.  What was your first blog about and why did you choose that subject/title?

My first blog was called sweetlyPAZZO. I don’t remember much of what I wrote about but the title came from my point of view. I was much sweeter back then and I thought that ‘pazzo’ [which means crazy in Italian] was a cool word so I used it in the title of the blog.
 
4.  How has your blog changed over time, and has it done for you what you hoped it would do in the first place?

Like many longtime bloggers I’ve had a few different blogs. For me this has made sense because I’ve wanted to try different approaches to blogging, different points of view, different platforms. Over the years blogging has helped keep my brain clicking by satisfiying my curiosity, so it has done what I hoped it’d do for me in the first place.

THE ACKNOWLEDGING ONE REALITY PART

I sometimes say that irony is my closest friend. In this case I’m referring to how difficult it has been for me, an accomplished blogger, to write this cute little post. It has been anything but fun; in fact it’s been hell.

There has been nothing simple about it.

The WordPress Block Editor has thwarted me at every turn, often blocking me from editing my words in a block so that I had to rewrite what I’d written again… and again… and again. Also there are some links in this post, but the system has inexplicably taken away the blue color from the links so you, kids, cannot see them anymore.

I guess you’re just supposed to know they’re there.

Whilst I’d like to say I’m filled with righteous indignation and the fervor that comes from knowing that there’s something wrong going on and you’re going to stop it, I’m too tired to do so. WordPress is slowly stealing the fun from personal blogging. I don’t know why, but I know this to be true.