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BEGIN [a don’t shoot the messenger] RANT
Let’s talk about something regarding people whose lack of self-awareness and conversational style is getting on my nerves this holiday season.
To wit, of late I have twice found myself chatting with a person who says something to the effect of: Here is what happened to me, it is an example of A.
I have then replied by saying: I believe you and agree with your assessment that this is an example of A. I say this because this is what they’ve told me.
I am not twisting their words.
I am demonstrating understanding and EMPATHY.
At which point I’ve been told that I am wrong: that this situation is not an example of A, it is an example of B. Why would I suggest otherwise?
Then they glare or snarl at me, she who has repeated back to them that which they said. I have not embellished what they said nor have I dismissed it.
I have paid attention to them, been STRAIGHTFORWARD– and dare I say KIND to listen to their woes.
And what is my reward for being nice? Criticism. As if I am responsible for what happened to them, which I am not.
What I am guilty of, however, is being a mirror that has reflected back to them, in their own words, how they are viewing their reality. And for this, I am made to suffer their crabbiness, their querulousness, their low-level wrath.
[Yes, I just used the thesaurus. Can you tell?]
I’ve no idea about how to handle this kind of RIDICULOUS conversational style, but I do find that I am less inclined to ever want to speak with these people again.
And perhaps that is what they want, for me to go away taking my ACTIVE listening skills and my mirror of truth with me.
So be it, says the introvert.
END [a don’t shoot the messenger] RANT
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Questions of the Day
Thinking about the rant above, have you ever been sniped at for agreeing with, then repeating back, that which someone just said to you?
If so, how do you handle the conversation in the moment and your feelings about it? Does this make you feel peeved, for instance?
If this has not happened to you, can I be friends with you and your friends? Pretty please.
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