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Highlights From August: I’m Not A Flower. I’m Not A Fork. I’m Not A Foe.

/ Ally Bean / 179 Comments

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The Flower Part

Late one afternoon while sitting outside on the deck, I was viciously attacked dive-bombed by a hummingbird who mistook me for a flower. Why, you may be wondering, did this little piece of flightiness think I was a flower?

Here’s the scene: I was wearing a pale pink baseball cap [similar here] + a medium pink fleece top [here] + raspberry-colored moccasin slippers [on sale now here] whilst drinking a pink grapefruit Italian soda [from here] that I’d poured into a clear plastic tumbler [here] with a bright red travel lid [here].

My basically pinkish-reddish ensemble + beverage were not intended to attract hummingbirds, but I nailed it.  And that little birdie with the fluttering wings couldn’t take his sparkly little eyes off me.

I was startled, but flattered.

The Fork Part 

Zen-Den and I finished watching Elementary, a TV series about Sherlock Holmes re-envisioned for modern times starring Jonny Lee Miller as Sherlock and Lucy Liu as Dr. Watson. I enjoyed it and thought the final episode was a good way to end it. Apparently not all fans liked the ending, so I just wrote something potentially controversial here.

Anyhoo, like many TV shows or movies, we sometimes focus on one line that we find absurdly funny and start saying it to each other— like a goofy inside joke. And this show gave us a good one.

In a scene where Sherlock and Marcus, a NYC police detective assigned to work with Sherlock, are kicking back after a difficult day, Sherlock who is often quite full of himself tells Marcus that he knows why Marcus is so taken with him.

It’s a scene of arrogance gone wild.

Sherlock starts babbling on about how his astounding intellect magnetizes people who are then drawn to him. It’s a burden Sherlock must live with.

Marcus, who has the patience of Job when dealing with Sherlock’s ego, replies: “You’re not a magnet. And I sure as hell am not a fork.” 

Thus I, too, want to establish the fact that I’m not a fork. You can’t magnetize me. Don’t even try.

The Foe Part

A friend, who seemed sincere when she said this, told me that she wanted to change something about her behavior so that she’d have more free time.

I was surprised BUT I am one to help others when they decide they want to change. To be clear I don’t believe I need to fix people, yet will help you fix yourself when you’re ready to do so. Think of me as your personal cheerleader.

A few weeks later I see this friend and compliment her on how she has changed herself, how she has followed through on doing that which she told me she wanted to do in order to have less stress in her busy life.

Welp, she lays into me for mentioning she was doing things differently now: things she told me she didn’t want to do anymore.

This was her idea, remember?

She got on her high horse and lectured me about how her well established M.O. was what she was known for and no way would she ever change it for fear of not being known for it.

This was slightly unhinged thinking— and a complete 180º from what she’d confided in me a few weeks earlier.

Obviously at this point I had a decision to make: do I remind her of what she told me about how she wanted to change? Or do I let the conversation drop knowing the more I say, the more she’ll think of me as her foe.

Thus I let the conversation drop, realizing that being a cheerleader for some people is a sure way of irritating them.

Go figure, huh?

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SO I’M BACK 

WHAT’S NEW WITH YOU?

TELL ALL IN THE COMMENTS BELOW

I NEED TO KNOW!

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Hello, Friends: Letting The Sunshine Shine + Shifting To A Lighter Blogging Schedule

/ Ally Bean / 190 Comments

ABOUT THE SUNSHINE

I haven’t done something like this old-school style blogging prompt in years*. 

So when Vicki nominated me for Kimberly’s “Sunshine Blogger Award” I thought why not do this? I want to join in the fun— so I have.

Here goes.

I. The guidelines from Kimberly about the “Sunshine Blogger Award”:

• Display the award’s official logo somewhere on your blog. [look up]
• Thank the person who nominated you. [THANK YOU Vicki]
• Provide a link to your nominator’s blog. [Victoria Ponders]
• Answer your nominator’s questions. [look down]
• Nominate up to 11 bloggers. [everyone, anyone, no one, IT’S UP TO YOU]
• Ask your nominees 11 questions. [bottom of this section]
• Notify your nominees by commenting on at least one of their blog posts. [let the COMMENT LOVE flow]

II. The questions from Vicki:

What is your morning routine?

I get up 6:30 a.m., drink coffee, gaze at nature, and attempt to engage my brain. I’m like molasses slowly oozing into the day. No loud noises or bright lights please.

What is your favorite season? Why?

Autumn. It’s pretty, the leaves on the trees are glorious colors, and the summer humidity is over so I feel relaxed.

What is your favorite childhood memory?

Riding my tricycle that I got for Christmas, maybe age 4? It was too big for me so my dad put wooden blocks on the pedals so I could use it. I was a speed demon.

Who or what has been your most unlikely teacher?

Phony self-absorbed people have taught me that: 1) I’m friendlier & more emotionally balanced than I ever realized; 2) it’s not always a bad thing to be ignored; and 3) their reactions to me have nothing to do with me.

Who or what are you most proud of?

Librarians. They know things. They know where to find the information. They know how to keep you up-to-date. They know the good stories. They are a valuable resource, now more so than ever.

What is something that surprises people about you?

I like wearing eyeglasses, hence the title of this blog. Don’t be talking smack about spectacles.

What motivated you to start blogging?

Curiosity to see if I could. Free time courtesy of a yearlong recuperation period from emergency surgery.  Orneriness.

What forms of entertainment do you enjoy the most?

I like TV series, often mysteries or sitcoms, which I watch one episode a night. Never binge watch. I also like walking in parks or nature preserves.

If you are a book reader, do you prefer a paper copy or a digital copy?

I read paper books. I want to use a proper bookmark and have a book I can gift to a Little Free Library— of which there are many around here.

What’s your favorite music genre, and who is your favorite singer?

I like contemporary jazz, r&b, soft rock, and classical. Favorite singer? I dunno, not sure I have one.

What societal causes do you care about the most?

Health & Education: food, shelter, water, medicines/vaccinations, safety, public schools, libraries. Any and all things that help a person physically and mentally thrive.

III. My questions for you, my intrepid bloggers:
  • Favorite color?
  • Favorite animal?
  • Favorite mantra?
  • Favorite number?
  • Favorite curse word?
  • Favorite drink?
  • Favorite holiday?
  • Favorite cookie?
  • Favorite movie?
  • Favorite flower?
  • Favor question here?

* In 2012 I answered Polly’s questions for my “Sunshine Award” and am now using some of her questions here.

ABOUT THE BLOGGING SCHEDULE

As the old saying goes: If something works, stick with it.

To those who’ve been around The Spectacled Bean for a few years it’ll come as no surprise when I tell you that as of today I’ll be shifting to my spring/summer posting schedule.

As you may remember, or will learn right now, this simply means I’ll post my flapdoodle and twaddle once every two weeks, usually on a Tuesday or Wednesday, turning this into a fortnightly blog.

I appreciate everyone who reads and comments on this weblog. Y’all are the best, you make blogging fun. In fact without your support, my gentle readers + kind lurkers + wordy commenters, this blog would have crashed and burned a long time ago.

Thank You!

Welcome: A Few Meandering Thoughts About Being Gladly Received

/ Ally Bean / 205 Comments

I take my blog prompts where I find them…

Years ago I remember reading an article about how to connect with people, online and in real life. The gist of the article was about ways to make sure you’ll be gladly received, appreciated even by the people you meet.

In retrospect I realize that the article touched on ideas you might find in Norman Vincent Peale’s ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ but that’s not what the article was about. It was a modern take.

According to the article the formula for being included was simple. Initially you establish yourself as memorable, then you apply yourself to being likable. A leads to B, familiarity with your uniqueness leads to people feeling comfortable around you. Then as long as you are consistent, you will be welcomed.

I’ve never definitively decided what I think about this advice, however it’s stuck with me— maybe to be shared and discussed in this very moment.

🔹 Playing the part of devil’s advocate here, first off it seems to me that being memorable can be a slippery slope. It’s great if you’re remembered for doing something ostensibly positive, but how many times do you remember someone because of the less positive thing that they did?

[QUICK: elementary school – who threw up in class? high school – who was stoned more often than not? college – who got caught cheating on an exam?]*

🔹 Then of course there’s also the issue of the definition of likable. Without using a dictionary, mine would be something along the lines of:

  • friendly, warm, non-judgmental
  • assertive but not aggressive
  • truthfulness wrapped in kindness

How would you define a likable person? Are you one? Is this something you aim to be?

🔹 And as for consistent, something I think of as being conscientious, but of course could also mean consistently not being conscientious, I’d suggest that most people don’t pay close enough attention to what other people do to really notice if someone is consistent.

Thus I will conclude by saying that the foregoing, my gentle readers and kind lurkers, is nothing more than my addled brain’s meanderings, unfiltered and with no hidden agenda, after seeing the word WELCOME on a wooden container holding a few tulip bulbs.

This is what I thought about.

Any remarks, regrets, reconsiderations you’d like to add?

* In fourth grade – Janie who was shy and scared to stand up in front of the class, threw up in front of the class while giving her report on how to play her flute. Vomit went everywhere, including inside her flute. She didn’t return to class for a few days.

In high school – Doug who was a kid who lived down the street from me on the swankier end of the street, had a ready supply of weed. He enhanced his social standing by putting vodka dyed dark green into an empty Chloraseptic sore throat spray bottle that he carried around, happy to spray some into your mouth.

In college – Susan who was smart but lived in fear of not being perfect, was caught sneaking around in the library cheating on a take home honor system exam. She cried her way into being allowed to take it a second time. She got an A+ of course.

Blame It On The Lemon Curd: Musing On The Interconnectedness Of Then & Now

/ Ally Bean / 267 Comments

Streetlight on Snowy Day [image created using Waterlogue App]

The Then Part

I DECIDED TO RETURN to writing this personal blog last week while I was making Lemon Curd on a cold snowy day.

No joke

I was using a double boiler, stirring the sugar, egg, butter, and lemon juice that join forces, over heat, to become Lemon Curd. It’s a slow process, that requires nothing more than patience and the ability to keep stirring the ingredients to combine in such a way as to “coat the back of the spoon.”

Standing there at the stove my mind wandered and I remembered who taught me how to make Lemon Curd.

Liz, an acquaintance who’d grown up in Australia, clued me in about how easy and economical it is to make. I met her decades ago when we were citizen volunteers working on a committee to put together a yearlong celebration of our town’s bicentennial.

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SHE AND I HAD the honor of finding out how much the local country club &/or restaurants would charge for hosting a fundraising that was to be an afternoon tea. We ended up with this assignment because were the only two people on the committee who had been to an afternoon tea in England.

Uh huh

Well, in the process of talking with various establishments we learned that most people in this small town didn’t know what Lemon Curd was. This was something we felt should be at an afternoon tea: me because while studying at the University of Exeter for a term I’d had it at afternoon teas, Liz because it was a normal part of her Australian childhood afternoon teas.

Thus we found ourselves explaining, multiple times, that Lemon Curd isn’t cottage cheese embedded in lemon Jell-O, instead it’s a creamy lemony spread for toast or scones eaten in lieu of raspberry jam or apple butter or grape jelly.

In the end the head chef at the local country club allowed Liz and I into his kitchen so that she could teach him how to make Lemon Curd— which she did. And because of his willingness to learn how to make it the event was held at the country club to rave reviews.

Huzzah!

But most importantly from my point of view, I learned how easy it is to make Lemon Curd. The recipe for which is at the bottom of this post, should you be interested.

The Now Part

YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING, how did this memory prompt me to get back to writing this personal blog?

You see, while stirring the lemon curd, in an unexpected introspective minute, I realized a few things about myself and how this personal blog fits into my current life:

  1. I am grateful and amazed by how lives intertwine and how positive influences can guide you forever.
  2. I am at my best when I’m looking for and acknowledging how interconnected we are, in real life + online.
  3. I am happy and contented when I have a place, like this blog, to share stories + research + insights from my life.
  4. I am peaceful when I let easy things be easy, like writing a blog post about whatever interests me in the moment.

And with that, I’m back to blogging here for a while longer. I’m ready to connect [interconnect?] with gentle readers + kind lurkers and shall do so in this moment by sincerely asking the most obvious question ever asked:

WHAT’S NEW WITH YOU?

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LEMON CURD

1/2 Cup lemon juice

1/2 Cup sugar

3 eggs, lightly beaten

6 Tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

In a blender, combine juice and sugar blending on high for about 15 seconds. Then add eggs and blend for another 15 seconds. With the blades running, slowly pour in the melted butter and blend for 30 seconds.

Pour the mixture into a double boiler saucepan and bring to a low boil over medium heat. This may take several minutes. Stir frequently.

As soon as the mixture reaches a boil, lower the heat to just above low and stir constantly for 2-3 minutes until the mixture resembles a shiny pudding. It should coat the back of your spoon. 

Pour into ramekins or a bowl. Let cool a little before serving.

Keeps in the refrigerator for up to two weeks. Freezes well.