A Potpourri Of Pipsqueaks & Problems & Poems, Oh My

October 17, 2023 / Ally Bean / 225 Comments

The Pipsqueak Part – So Much Energy, I Had To Laugh

In the mornings after I wake up my ritual is to brew a pot of coffee, pour myself a mug of the stuff, and [when possible] go outside to drink it whilst gazing upon nature, absorbing the stillness of morning.

Being at one with the universe, dagnabbit.

However the other morning at about 7:20 am, as I’m communing with nature sitting on the deck at the back of our house, I hear noise. It’s a loud unfamiliar sound coming from the front of the house.

What am I hearing?

It’s the kids, the little twerps, kindergartners mostly, in front of our house waiting for the school bus to pick them up. And they are all howling like wolf pups, loudly, with gusto.

Which has prompted neighborhood dogs in backyards, like Irene [Great Dane], and Cookie [Dalmatian], and Rocco [Beagle-ish pound puppy] to join in with the little human wolf puppies, howling louder than the kids.

Creating a glorious cacophony, that while unexpected, got me laughing so hard I almost spilled the coffee in my mug.

And that would never do.

The Problem Part – In Which We Mourn A Loss

After 12 years of service our furnace died. We knew the end was coming but buying a new one isn’t exactly the most exciting use of money. Nonetheless with a loud *sigh* we got a new one.

The new furnace, like its predecessor, is in our unfinished basement. The installation took most of a day and went smoothly under the auspices of a guy I shall call Jake. He was quiet, knowledge, and seemed to have endless energy.

Welp, once the furnace was hooked up Jake had us follow him into the basement so he could explain the new furnace, as in parts and filters, and to show us the new sticker with his name on it saying that he’d installed the furnace.

Every time a maintenance tech comes to service the furnace they leave their initials on the official permanent sticker that starts with the name of the guy who installed it.

Very organized.

But here’s the thing, the unexpected turn in what we assumed would be a standard conversation with Jake, he got choked up when talking about putting his sticker on our furnace.

Come to find out 12 years ago Jake’s beloved mentor, Tom, had installed our old furnace placing his sticker on it. And, as Jake explained, seeing Tom’s writing on the old sticker reminded Jake that Tom had recently died.

Jake was visibly bereft about Tom’s passing, on the verge of tears. Thus while Zen-Den and I politely said things like “my condolences” and “I’m sorry for your loss” Jake stopped talking entirely. Then we three stood in front of our new furnace having an impromptu minute of silence in honor of Tom.

May he rest in peace.

The Poem Part – I Gave It A Try And Here Is What I Wrote

A couple of weeks ago Kari at a grace full life wrote a poem based on an “I Am From” template [HERE]. Then after sharing her poem she politely challenged us to write our own poems.

Challenge accepted!

Below is my poem, titled in the way that Kari did hers, created by following the prompts on the template, but written using my own punctuation because, really, the punctuation on the template makes no sense.

~ • ~

My “Where I’m From” Poem

I am from legal pads of yellow paper

From office supply stores and college book stores.

I am from the small house on a brick street

Comfy, well-tended, scented with bayberry candles.

I am from hickory nuts,

Purchased whole, shelled, and baked into a birthday cake.

I’m from artificial Christmas trees and frugality

From Daisy Alice and JW.

I’m from helpers and bookworms

From relatives who preached the gospel and taught school.

I’m from Methodists and Presbyterians, a family that went to church but didn’t take it too seriously.

I’m from Ohio and can look to Scotland, Wales, Ireland, and Germany to find my ancestors.

I’m from Garibaldi biscuits and strong black loose tea measured in metal tea balls,

From childhood afternoons with my stay-at-home dad who eschewed coffee for tea, always.

The people who came to the USA to farm, and to fight in wars, and to get an education,

Leaving but a few photos of themselves behind,

While handing down antique furniture, most unique.

~ ~ • ~ ~

Positivity Got You Down? Let Me Suggest Something

October 3, 2023October 3, 2023 / Ally Bean / 273 Comments

Not everyone grooves on uplifting thoughts all the time.

I understand this.

In fact when I was in college there were no Gratitude Journals, that wasn’t a thing like it is today.

Instead we kept what we called Bitch Books. They were nothing special to look at, just spiral notebooks with a theme, however it sounded better to refer to them as Bitch Books.

So we did.

To clarify, we called them this not because we thought of ourselves as bitches, even if we might have been, but because we needed a place to write about our issues, all the wrongs that we felt we’d suffered.

Oy vey!

Granted we also discussed our issues in lengthy conversations with a few people who would now be called your negativity friends [HERE], but often there were hurts that could only be expressed adequately, with the proper amount of collegiate drama, by writing about them ad nauseam in our Bitch Books.

We hid our books from our nosy roommates and unenlightened boyfriends because they could never know what we were really thinking. Heaven forbid there’d be open authentic communication.

We knew that our profs would never see the crap we’d written about them, so many pages of my book were filled with deets of professorial incompetence, stupidity, and hypocrisy. No surprise, huh?

I’d not thought about Bitch Books in decades, and probably wouldn’t have thought about them again, if it weren’t for an advertisement that shows up, unsolicited, on my Instagram feed*.

This intrusive ad confirms that everything old is new again. To wit, let me share a link to today’s version of a Bitch Book.

It’s stylish, something that’s now called a Grievance Journal [HERE], described by Boardwalk Gifts, the purveyor of it, as a “the perfect repository for all your existential angst and daily gripes!”

Which no doubt it is.

And here’s the dealio, which is really where I’m going with this post. For a mere $28.00 you, my ~~little bitches~~ gentle readers, can purchase your very own Grievance Journal in which you, if you feel the need, can write about all the crap that happens to you.

OR, and this is just a thought, you could replicate what we did back in the day and write your angsty unhappiness in an 1 Subject College Ruled Spiral Notebook [HERE] currently available for $3.39 at Target.

It’s your money and your life, of course.

Obviously I don’t know how much bitching you need to do, so please, I encourage you, do what you feel suits you best.

* I’m on Instagram as thespectacledbean [HERE]

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever heard of an old-school Bitch Book or a new-fangled Grievance Journal?

Have you written one? Why or why not?

Did you once have, or do you now have, negativity friends?

• 💚 •

July Reply: Answering YOUR Questions About Me [AMA Part 2 Of 3]

July 18, 2023July 1, 2025 / Ally Bean / 183 Comments

PREVIOUSLY…

Last week I introduced this AMA Extravaganza by answering your questions about how to blog. Go HERE to read who asked a question, what it was, and what I said.

Today I’ll continue answering your questions, this time about me.

Again I’ve highlighted who asked each question and added a link to their blog. I’m doing that in order to create and extend a sense of community that is, in my experience, the backbone of personal blogging.

YOUR QUESTIONS + MY ANSWERS

These questions, occasionally edited for clarity, are arranged alphabetically by topic, then chronologically by when the asker of the question asked the question. Thanks to everyone. I reply in one answer to similar questions because that seems sensible to me, she who is answering your questions.

🟣 CHILDHOOD & TEEN YEARS

• Lynn from Life After 50 asks: how might others have perceived you as a teenager rather than what did you think of yourself? Or maybe both?

• L. Marie from El Space- The Blog of L. Marie asks: what were you like in high school?

• Nicki from Behind the Story asks: Tell me more about yourself as a “cool kid.” From what I have noticed, you’re imaginative and funny and open to new experiences and people. What are some examples of your cool kid ways? Were you a cool kid in kindergarten?

MY ANSWER: As a kindergartener I was shy and serious; I was, after all, an only child of older well-educated parents so kids, my peers, kind of baffled me with their rambunctiousness. As a high school student I was focused on learning enough to go to college, but I goofed off too. There might have been underage drinking involved. But not with the Popular Kids, only with other kids who I’d known since forever who were also just trying to survive long enough to escape from our small town.

🟣 DAILY LIFE

• Dale from A Dalectable Life asks: Do you work full-time outside of the house?

• Marty from Snakes in the Grass asks: … in what field [did] you [work] in your career. Your husband’s also?

• Judy from NewEnglandGardenAndThread asks: what makes a really good day for you?

• Dan from No Facilities asks: What’s Ally’s favorite thing to do when not blogging?

• The Travel Architect from THE TRAVEL ARCHITECT asks: what is a daily routine you can’t live without (not literally, like eating, but a cozy habit you love)?

MY ANSWER: I’ve worked as a paralegal, marketing researcher, merchandiser, sales rep, retail store manager, fundraiser, project manager, and writer. In other words, many jobs, no career. I am currently not working outside the home, preferring to lean into the idea that I’m a genuine slacker or perhaps I’m accidentally retired along with my husband who worked as, and technically still is, a lawyer.

When not applying myself to the rigors of being a blogger, I like to goof around with recipes in the kitchen; or mess around with plants; or fret over interior design decisions; or go for walk; or read a book; or play board games; or watch a mystery or comedy TV show.

A quiet calm life makes me happy.

A really good day for me would involve fresh air, tasty food + drink, laughing with friends, reading/learning, and moments of gratitude for how well I’ve landed in life. My only “cozy habit” is to say tres bien when I drink my first mug of coffee in the morning. I consider it a blessing and a goal.

🟣 DEFINITION OF COOL

• Margy from Amusives asks: What generation of ‘cool’ did you grow up in? Has the term changed much as each generation used it?

• Mary from Mary J Melange asks: Can cool kids also be nerdy kids?

• Pat from retirementtransition asks: I’ve never been a Cool Kid… how can this always-been-a -Do-Bee become a truly Cool Kid?

MY ANSWER: As a former Do-Bee, in order to answer your questions about being a Cool Kid, I decided to research the term “cool” to learn something about its slang etymology, figuring that would shed light on the phrase Cool Kid.

I read three articles* and will summarize my findings thusly:

cool, as in a way to describe someone who is effortlessly with it, came into our lexicon in the 1920s via jazz;
cool is something someone else says about you, you cannot declare yourself to be cool; and
that which is considered cool changes about every decade so it can mean whatever you want it to mean within the context of your life experiences &/or the decade in which you are currently living.

🟣 GENERAL KNOWLEDGE

• Esoterica from Existential Ergonomics asks: What topic could you give a 20-minute presentation on without any preparation?

MY ANSWER: I could talk about the ups and downs of personal blogging or what I’ve learned about interior design through the lens of the mistakes I’ve made.

🟣 GEOGRAPHY

• Linda from The Task at Hand asks: what state do you live in?

• Bijoux from Bytes from the ‘Burbs asks: … have you always lived in the Cincinnati area? Did you go to college in Ohio? And do you agree that Graeter’s is the best ice cream ever?

MY ANSWER: I live in southwest Ohio, although I was born and raised in central Ohio. After attending college in this region I stayed. And YES Graeter’s ice cream is the best ice cream ever. I’m especially keen on their Vanilla Bean or their Caramel.

🟣 PERSONALITY

• Victoria from Victoria Ponders asks: has humor always served you well…in your work life, with friends/family? It seems like such a potent part of your personality. And does your humor come from some familial source? A nature or nurture gift?

• Lynette from In the Net! – Pictures and Stories of Life asks: are you an introvert or extrovert, and has this consciously affected your life choices?

• Deb from Debs Despatches asks: is the person we see here at the Spectacled Bean the real you, or only a slice of you? I know you choose (as do I) to exclude certain matters, but other than that bit of editing, do we get to see the real Ally Bean?

MY ANSWER: I seem to have been born with a sense of humor. I know that from early on I could crack up my parents with my quips. They both could be humorous, but were more reserved than I so my truthfulness made them laugh, but got me in trouble, too.

I’m an introvert who can be extroverted when necessary. I believe that is now referred to as an ambivert. It’s only been with age that I’ve come to understand myself, my ability to work successfully with people BUT to also embrace my innate desire to avoid people.

The person you see here is the real me, albeit with a blogging nom de plume. I don’t talk about everything I do, however the way in which I talk about that which I do is the same here as in real life. Well, not entirely true… in real life I swear more.

🟣 STYLE

• Gigi from Gigi’s Ramblings asks: How would you describe your fashion/style choices? Boho Chic, Classic, Jeans and Tee, etc. Also, you’ve mentioned you have curly/wavy hair… what is your preferred styling method and why?

Suzanne from Picture Retirement asks: What is your favorite color and why?

MY ANSWER: I tend to be a casual jeans and t-shirt girl, opting for flats or boots or Birks depending on the weather. I like simple lines, tailored clothes, but nothing too traditional or formal. No ruffles ever.

I don’t do florals or checks. I wear understated jewelry like hoop or stud earrings, smallish necklaces, and my wedding rings. My curly frizzy graying hair is pulled back into a ponytail or twisted into a librarian bun at the nape of my neck.

When it comes to my wardrobe I stick with a medium Summer palette a la Carole Jackson’s Color Me Beautiful system. My favorite color is teal. I look good in it and I like to see in my home, too. I find it soothing.

🟣 TRAVEL

• Deb from Closer to the Edge asks about: The most fascinating place you have ever visited and what made it so?

• Margaret from Stargazer asks: Now that Z-D is retired, do you have any plans to travel? If so, where is your dream destination and why?

• Neil from YEAH, ANOTHER BLOGGER asks: Do you have any vacation plans for the second half of 2023?

MY ANSWER: It’s a toss-up about the most fascinating place I’ve visited. I liked seeing: the Alhambra in Granada, Spain [gorgeous intricate tilework]; Banff and Lake Louise in Alberta, Canada [picture perfect vistas]; and Charleston, South Carolina, USA [funky buildings, groovy vibe]. Plus I liked, and relaxed into, the lushness of Hawaii and Wales.

We probably won’t be traveling anywhere outside of Ohio this year, but eventually would like to see more of Canada, visit all the U.S. Presidential Libraries, and go to Spain, France, Italy. Also return to England again, maybe visit the University of Exeter where I spent a term when I was in undergrad.

We’ll see how it plays out.

🟣 WRITING

• Dave from LIFE IN A WORD asks: Do you have other outlets for your writing besides blogging?

• Arlene from Somerton Smith asks: What other things are you writing these days?

• Mona from Wayward Sparkles asks: I was wondering whether you’ve ever considered taking the top 10 to 20 best of your posts (your choice) and turning them into a book? Or perhaps you might write a book of the best wisdom you’ve gotten or given on your blog?

• Pam from ROUGHWIGHTING asks: Do you think before you write, or just go ahead and be a panster and write as the words come?

MY ANSWER: I only write this blog, nothing more. When it comes to writing posts I know the topic or situation I want to write about but then just babble as the words come, with no advance outline in mind.

I’m a pantster who edits ~~mercilessly~~.

I’ve talked with some published authors about whether I could turn my posts into a book of essays and the upshot is that I don’t have the desire or patience to write a book. You need a raging fire in your belly to do that– and all I have in my belly is one blue tip safety match.

🟣 ZEN-DEN

• Nicole from GIRL in a BOY HOUSE asks: I’d like to ask how you and Zen Den met.

• Janet from Janet’s Smiles asks: Will you ever post a picture of you and your hubby?

• Linda from WALKIN’, WRITIN’, WIT & WHIMSY asks: … my question to you would be “how has life changed for you since Z-D retired?” I know you wrote about his side hustle but that is from home, so he has no commute and (hopefully) creates his own schedule. Are you getting out for the long walks you had hoped to?

• Colleen from Martin Family Moments asks: Since you don’t post photos of yourself or your husband, could you choose the closest two celebrities that might be your doppelgangers?

MY ANSWER: Zen-Den and I met in college when he was studying Spanish with a girl down the hall in my dorm. She introduced us and we hit it off immediately. At the time we were each dating someone else but knew we were destined for each other.

I doubt that I’ll ever post a photo of us because I’ve made it a point to keep this blog about words and ideas, almost completely free from personal people photos.

That being said, when we were younger Z-D looked like ~~his Uncle Don~~ John Belushi [Animal House] and I was told I looked like ~~my Great Aunt Idy~~ Mare Winningham [St. Elmo’s Fire]. However now, as old people, we’re looking more like Fred and Ethel Mertz [I Love Lucy].

Z-D’s retirement hasn’t played out quite like I imagined. It’s a long story, not mine to tell, but in addition to his side hustles he continued to work part-time for his employer for many months after he retired. Plus the house has needed lots of repairs that have kept us house poor, so we have yet to experience a full-time retirement lifestyle.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Next week ~~[or maybe later this week depending on my mood]~~ I’ll post the final installment HERE of this AMA Extravaganza. Once again I’ll be featuring the bloggers who asked the questions and answering their questions that best can be described as wildly miscellaneous and decidedly inventive.

You’ll see. You’ll like it.

* Sources:

How Did Cool Become Such a Big Deal? via Humanities, The Magazine Of The National Endowments For The Humanities
When “Cool” Got Cool via Vocabulary.com
The Birth of Cool via Slate

The Noisy Week That Was: Of Lost Blogging Mojo & Exterior Home Improvements

July 9, 2023 / Ally Bean / 208 Comments

As I sat down to edit this rare Sunday blog post I couldn’t help but smile and remember that I’d forgotten that I used to have a sign on my desk that said: EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.

Good advice, very pithy. Spot on, even.

~ ~ • ~ ~

LAST WEEK SLIDE THROUGH MY HANDS, like a slippery rubber ducky in a steamy bubble bath. I lost track of the day of the week and a sense of purpose– and sadly one of my favorite lavender-colored cotton t-shirts that I think accidentally got sent to Goodwill.

[Hope someone enjoys it.]

You see, it was noisy around here in the neighborhood and when life gets noisy, I shut down. I don’t find noise energizing and instantly lose my writing/blogging/commenting mojo because I can’t think straight enough to form sentences.

My mind goes into *whatever* mode while my actions go into *sloth* mode. As for my spirit, I’ve no idea where it hides when it gets noisy.

The poor beleaguered dear.

THE FIRST PART OF THE WEEK was filled with predictable noise, fireworks & gunfire to celebrate the Fourth of July. Of course it being a long weekend the kapows and booms started on Friday night [June 30] and continued through Tuesday night [July 4].

Not a constant noise, mind you, just random loud cacophonies that set my teeth on edge, worrying me greatly.

And instantly put my central nervous system on high alert.

THEN UNEXPECTEDLY ON WEDNESDAY MORNING AT 7:00 a.m., just when I was grooving on quietude, the phone rang. It was the exterior home improvement company we contracted with in the spring to do exterior home improvements in August.

August, people. August.

And what did these fine folks have to say? They politely announced that they’d be at the house today [July 5] at 7:30 a.m. to start our projects because they were ready to do our work. Huzzah, huzzah!

This is good.

I am not complaining because that would be wrong.

BUT IT DOES MEAN THAT STARTING Wednesday I began dealing with more outside racket in the form of [hammer] NOISE & workers and [sawing] NOISE & clutter. Plus, to his credit, Zen-Den continued doing exactly what he planned to do during the week.

Yes, Zen-Den started organizing and painting the inside of the garage which is wonderful. I appreciate this project and have wanted it done for years, but it does add to the mess that I find everywhere outside any door I open when I attempt to leave the house.

And quite frankly in my estimation visual mess is a cousin of noise, on its father’s side of course.

ANYHOW HERE ARE A FEW PHOTOS of what’s going on around here. The home improvement repairs are focused on the screened-in porch, boxed bay window, and the entryway around the front door. Then, of course, the whole exterior of the house will need to be painted.

But that’s a ~~nightmare~~ project for another time.

So having unburdened myself with the foregoing insight into home ownership, midwest-style, I promise that once the exterior repairs are finished [or there’s less pounding], probably later this week but maybe not, I’ll get it together and write what I’m calling my July Reply series in which I answer your AMA questions.

It’s going to be three long posts because you, my little sunbeams of good cheer, ask many questions.

And for that I love you!

~ ~ • ~ ~