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A friend, who was clearly absorbed in her own thoughts, got into my car, buckled up, and without so much as a Sherman T. Potter “howdy-do” said:
Do you think you were wanted?
Now I’m a good friend. Attentive. A natural-born problem solver, but you have to give me some context. So I said the first, rather inarticulate, thing that drifted into my head: huh?
Then the story unfolded as she went on to explain that she’d started reviewing her life, all of her life, in light of a recent setback in which her job ended.
While she understood on a logical level why her job, which she tolerated, had been cut, on an spiritual level this experience had sent her into a spiral of self-doubt– and a need to understand it all.
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We talked for a while. She explained that the question she had asked of me wasn’t about being wanted at work, but about being wanted within a family. That is, did I think/she think that our parents wanted us.
In my case, Yes. In her case, No.
Getting to the crux of her contemplation, she thought that being unwanted early on would have given her some superpower to automatically know when that sort of thing was happening again.
In other words, because she was so sure of herself had she missed some sign that she was going to be kicked to the curb by this employer?
We came to no definitive conclusion about her recent job loss, but we did stumble upon a good topic of conversation about self-awareness. That is, how we all make assumptions based on previous experiences.
And how those assumptions when applied to the here and now, aren’t always a good guide for how to live your life, even though it’s easy to delude yourself into thinking that they are.
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