Doctor, Doctor, Give Me The News

February 18, 2013February 25, 2015 / Ally Bean / 16 Comments

In one week I went to the eye doctor and the lady bits doctor. They are not on the same page as to what I need to do, henceforth, to stay a healthy and whole woman. In fact, putting together their advice I am left with a math word problem.

I never liked math word problems when I was twelve– and I do not like them any better now that I am many decades beyond twelve. Here is what I have to figure out:

<begin snarl>

Ally wants to be a healthy person. She is on a train called YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME heading toward the town known as OLD AGE.

According to the eye doctor, who wants the redness and dryness in her eyes to abate, Ally is to take 2 antibiotics each day. These are to be taken on an empty stomach 1 hour before eating OR 2-3 hours after eating. They are never to be taken before eating anything with calcium in it.

According to her lady bits doctor, who wants all women to have strong bones, Ally is supposed to eat 3 servings of calcium-rich food each day. These foods include all sorts of low-fat, no-fat dairy products + soybeans + raw spinach. Also, she is to take 1 calcium supplement each day.

So, how does Ally get to the junction of SEEING CLEARLY and NO BROKEN BONES while riding along on the YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME train without making a major stop at I NEED TO GET MY HEAD EXAMINED? Or before becoming derailed in the ‘burg known as YEAST INFECTION? Or before being stopped by the outlaw gang known as RAW SPINACH MAKES MY FACE TURN RED?

Hmm? How does Ally do this?

<end snarl>

And with that question in mind, I shall wander off to solve this ridiculous word problem with a pad of paper + pen, a mug of coffee & a less than enthusiastic attitude. If figuring out word problems such as this is what old age is going to be all about, I’m having a few doubts about my ability to age gracefully. Or to even care about good health. ‘Ya know what I mean?

This is craziness.

Take Me To The River

January 21, 2013July 1, 2025 / Ally Bean / 24 Comments

I wanted crab cakes. So on Saturday Zen-Den and I went to a restaurant on the KY side of the Ohio River where I had some delicious crab cakes. It was a sunny day, so after lunch we decided to walk across the Purple People Bridge on Pagan’s Path to OH. After spending some time in the park along the river on the Ohio side, we walked back across the bridge to KY where we had parked our car. Here is what we saw along the way.

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Helpful Signs

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The Purple People Bridge

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Pagan’s Path Plaque

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Blue Sky While Looking Up On The Purple People Bridge

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Cincinnati From The Purple People Bridge

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Original Rookwood Pottery Buildings In Mt. Adams

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The Serpentine Wall On The Ohio River

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Statue Of Cincinnatus

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Pedestrian Only Walkway On The Purple People Bridge

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A Kentucky Tree In Front Of The Ohio River

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In Which I Decide On A Word Of The Year. Finally.

January 5, 2013February 11, 2016 / Ally Bean / 18 Comments

I’ve been a laggard about choosing my one word of the year. This is because I’ve found myself caught up in the hype of picking the perfect word. A word that has a large overarching theme. A word that is unique, yet applicable to all facets of my life. A word that will make me kick ass in 2013.

I don’t know why it is that this year I got thinking like this, but I did. Even talking about it here I have to laugh at myself. I guess all I can tell you is that the gods of external validation invaded my brain and brought various forms of doubt with them. Hence, my inability to pick a word.

However, that is all behind me now. You see, I had a serious chat with myself and managed to decide on a word that I think will satisfy both my pragmatic thinking side and my holistic feeling side. The conversation, which may or may not have been out loud, went something like this:

Pragmatic Ally: It’s just a word, Ms. Bean. Get over yourself and pick one.

Holistic Ally: But I don’t know, for sure, if I’ll pick the best one. I need a sign of some sort so I’ll know that it is the. right. word.

Pragmatic Ally: Just do it. There’s your sign. Nike said so.

Holistic Ally: Okay, fine. Balance. I pick BALANCE. Like in New Balance. Which I like much better than Nike with their stupid swoosh.

Pragmatic Ally: Great choice. Well done. Now get out there and kick some ass!

Holistic Ally: But I don’t know how. How do ‘ya do that?

Pragmatic Ally: *sigh* Do I have to do everything for you? You start where you are right now, do your best and see where it goes. That’s how you do it.

Holistic Ally: Oh yeah. That’d work. Good idea. Thanks.

Pragmatic Ally: No problem.

… And so it came to be that my one word for 2013 will be BALANCE.

If The Fates Allow

December 18, 2012December 18, 2012 / Ally Bean / 25 Comments

I don’t feel like telling any stories today. Instead, here are a few of the thoughts that are swirling through my head. Keep in mind that Christmas is not my favorite time of the year, so if I sound cranky here it is because I am. And quite frankly, why aren’t you cranky too?

:: I haven’t started to address and sign our Christmas cards yet. I thought that I’d leave that task until tomorrow when I have the morning to devote to it. I like to send cards because they are personal– or at least they can be when done right. The right way according to me? Hand signed. Group photos, if included, have the names of the people on the back. A newsletter, if included, is succinct. If someone does not abide by the above, then I tend to doubt that he or she is sincere when sending the Christmas card. And I remember this.

:: I spent the weekend cooking. On Saturday I tried a new recipe for roasted chicken with root vegetables that was a failure. The only thing that we could salvage from it was the roasted red beets– the rest of it never cooked right. On the other hand on Sunday, I jazzed up an old tuna noodle casserole recipe. I turned a plain dish into a grown-up feast by using WW pasta, adding some white wine, throwing in some smoked paprika, topping with ~~panko bread crumbs~~ spicy chipotle pita chips + gourmet parmesan cheese. *yum*

:: Anyone else finding the incessant Christmas music in all the stores to be especially annoying this year? I dislike it to begin with, but in light of the Sandy Hook Massacre I find the jolliness of it to be inappropriate… rude… disrespectful. Live music has heart, but this stuff is just wrong. We are a nation in mourning this Christmastime. And the music, which can easily be changed, needs to reflect this.

:: There is no sign of snow around here; instead, we have lots of rain and lots of gray skies. Some years December is like this. It makes for a less than festive atmosphere during what I am told it the most wonderful time of the year. While at night I enjoy the contrast of the bright outside lights juxtaposed against the late autumn gloom, during the day the grayness overwhelms me. Any thoughts that I might have of Christmas merriment dissipate into the bleakness.

:: We don’t exchange presents with very many people. When it comes to family, all anyone wants is gift cards/cash so that’s what we get them. EZPZ, no? I so enjoy giving the gift of shopping to other people who enjoy going shopping– unlike me. And as for the rest of our holiday gift giving, I am only beholden to find some small items which I either put into pretty bags with cheery tissue paper or wrap in simple paper with a wisp of ribbon. For us, gift giving is the easiest holiday thing that we do. *hallelujah*