M Is For Me

When A Blogger Goes MIA

/ Ally Bean / 9 Comments

Am I:

a.  walking on a beach?

b.  lounging at a resort?

c.  seeing attractions galore?

d.  snapping photos of stuff and things?

e.  getting lost frequently, but not really caring?

f.  eating delicious meals prepared by trained professionals?

g.  wondering why I don’t paint my toenails bright fuchsia more often?

h.  contemplating why we don’t live like this every day?

i.  remembering that we’re not made of money?

j.  realizing that I need to write a blog post?

k.  doing absolutely none of the above?

l.  doing some of the above?

m.  doing all the above?

This Year I’m Going To…

/ Ally Bean / 6 Comments

I find that I’m constitutionally incapable of making life altering, deeply personal resolutions when the weather is cold outside and the trees are bare.  I need to leave the specifics of resolutions for the summer months when my mind has a more can do attitude.  In my worldview, warm weather is for thriving and taking on new goals;  cold weather is for surviving and maintaining the status quo.

So instead of resolving at the beginning of each year, I’ve taken to picking one word as my guiding principle for the upcoming year.  I never over think the word that I pick.  I just ask myself a question such as: what do I need to do differently this year to feel more alive?  Then I let my new word float into my mind.  In its own good time.  Very Zen.

And what word finally floated into my addled brain about one week after it should have arrived?  Glad that you asked.  This year my one word is:  NURTURE.

Know Thyself– And Continue On Anyway

/ Ally Bean / 15 Comments

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I remember taking an online quiz about narcissism.  It was a serious one, not one of those silly quizzes with results that tell you nothing about yourself.

The quiz that I took involved lots of question, none of which I remember– and then a nifty summation about your personality at the end.  The scale of the results of the quiz went from 1 to 30.  One was someone like a cloistered nun, and thirty was someone like a movie star or national politician.  Most people in the USA scored around 20.

I got a 6.  That was about as low as a person who was not part of a conservative religious community could get.

At the time I was concerned that I scored so low, but had to admit that I’m just kind of who I am— which would not be the mind-set of a person who is suffering from extreme narcissism.

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I’d forgotten all about that quiz until last night when I was thinking about what I’ve learned from this NaBloPoMo project.  I agree that I am a bit more disciplined in my writing now.  But I’ve earned a B.A. in English Lit & a M.A. in Communication so I’ve already proved to myself and to the world that I can do that when need be.  And I agree that I’ve found new ways to discover other bloggers.  But searching for other people online is not really a calling for me.

In reality, I think what I’ve learned is that for me the stress of this project has been trying to convince myself that I want to focus on me every day.  And considering my innate personality type, this is no surprise.

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I’ve continued through to the end of the month and I’ve done my best.  It’s good to challenge yourself once in a while.  But I can say that I now completely understand why Deb on the Rocks referred to this as “glorious madness.”  Because it is.

Thanks for keeping up with me, gentle readers.  I appreciate your attention & your comments & your suggestions about what I should write about next.  It has helped me more than you can imagine.

But as of today I shall return to being the casual blogger who posts when I have something to say— whenever I feel like it– when I’m in the mood.

You know, like the free spirit that I am.

Later, kids!

You Suggested. I Answered.

/ Ally Bean / 10 Comments

Yesterday I didn’t know what to talk about.  And then you came to my rescue…

•  Zazzy of zazamataz.com suggested that I “post more photos of your pretty area.”

I like that idea… except that it is gray and rainy today.  And quite frankly, if you’ve seen one bleak midwestern day, you’ve seen them all.  So I’ll do that when the sun shines again.

•  Katie of slow down & savor suggested that I could “always use a silly #NaBloPoMo prompt from the BlogHer website.”

If I were a more rational person I’d do that.  My problem with those prompts is that all they seem to do is make my mind go completely blank.  They remind me of a sinister essay test question—  which is going to count for 90% of my grade.  And true to form, when I see them I immediately have nothing to say.  My ability to think & write vanishes.

•  Kristen of Kristen Loves Design suggested, among other things, that I “talk about my favorite color.”

Naturally, me being me, I don’t have one favorite color.  I like all of them– depending on the shade.  So, for instance, I like crimson red [not tomato red];  pumpkin orange [not football team orange];  lemon yellow [not neon yellow];  kiwi green [not kelly green];  denim blue [not baby blue];  plummy purple [not royal purple];  mahogany brown [not mustardy brown];  warm gray [not purplish gray];  golden or greenish white [not pinkish or taupe white];  and greenish black [not bluish black].

•  Margaret of Stargazer suggested, among other things, that I “could do a book review of a book I’ve recently read that I hated or loved.”

Under normal circumstances I’d be delighted to do that.  But the reality is that I’ve stopped reading during the month of November because all my free time has gone into NaBloPoMo.  Doing this project has become a part-time job for me and uses up my daily allotment of wordiness.

•  Laura of Team Tantrum suggested, in her own quiet way, that posting a “declaration of quit” is always an option.

I agree with her as a matter of fact.  There’s no indignity in not making it through the entire month.  Sometimes just giving something new a go is all that one needs to do— to learn what he or she needs to know about something.