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Words & Questions
My Daily Dose Of Spam
Want to get more comment spam on your blog?
Well then may I suggest that you post a quiet little tale about an evening at an Italian restaurant and a visit to the zoo. A post like this one that I wrote on Friday, for instance.
And for good measure, in your blog post be sure to mention Bourbon + uppity sheep. Because, apparently, it’s this combo that gets comment spammers interested in your sweet little bloggy.
Or so it seems.
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To me the fascinating thing about comment spam is that some of it is rather thoughtful and pleasant. As if someone I know really cared about what I had to say and then took the time to post a comment.
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I could watch Schindler’s List and still be happy after reading this.
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Great hammer of Thor, that is powerfully helpful!
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Unbelievable how well-written and informative this was.
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So that’s the case? Quite a revelation that is.
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You put the lime in the coconut and drink the article up.
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Pity spammers aren’t sincere because what blogger wouldn’t enjoy seeing such unique comments underneath his or her blog post? Makes me wonder why comment spammers do what they do.
My guess is that they are clever and misguided individuals with too much time on their hands– looking to make a quick buck [somehow?] from someone else’s work. Not really my type of people.
But you have to admit that sometimes they’re kind of funny.
Random Act Of Kindness Or Minor Misdemeanor?
Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. Psalm 37:8
If a bumper sticker makes fun of, puts down, accuses, antagonizes, rejects, hates, pees upon, or whines about <any topic you can think of>, I’ve seen it on a vehicle in the last few weeks.
To say that I’m tired of these hostile, rude bumper stickers on vehicles would be an understatement. Really people, get a clue. Your bumper stickers are not contributing to the national discourse. They add nothing of value to society. They are a distraction while driving. And they’re just plain tacky.
Nope. I don’t like ’em one bit. Which got me thinking…
How do I make this situation better?
And here is my solution: a mischievous plan that is delightful in its subtlety and entertaining in its message. *bwha-ha-ha* A plan so ingenious that I’m surprised that no one has thought of it before. A plan so clever that it made the Lawyer Bean laugh and promise to provide legal counsel for me should there be a need.
First, I’d buy a couple dozen of this positive, upbeat bumper sticker and keep them in my car. Only a cretin could not be charmed by the message: “wag more bark less.”
Then when I see one of these previously mentioned annoying bumper stickers on a vehicle in a parking lot, I’d wander over to the vehicle with one of my more encouraging bumper stickers in hand. Making certain that I was unnoticed, I’d slap my sweet little oval sticker over the offensive, negative bumper sticker.
And *bam* just like that I’d have quietly neutralized the negativity and made the world a better place– while simultaneously ensuring that I receive one more brownie point in heaven. Talk about your win-win situation!
So what do you think, gentle readers? Good idea? Couldn’t possibly be an act of vandalism with a court date and a fine, could it? And if so, how much do you suppose I’d have to pay for refusing to let stupid get the last word in– or on, as the case may be?
THE SPECTACLED BEAN 