Sclerotherapy: Wearing Pantyhose, Feeling Pincushion-y

February 6, 2014 / Ally Bean / 20 Comments

I’m writing this post as I sit here wearing, of all things, pantyhose under my jammies. Not just any pantyhose, mind you. No, I have on light compression pantyhose in a most peculiar, unnatural shade called, Suntan Beige.

The reason for this deviant pantyhose-wearing behavior is that I had sclerotherapy on my legs. And once one has this voluntary, cosmetic, medical procedure, one must wear support pantyhose, of any color, for two weeks afterward.

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For those of you fortunate enough to not have pasty white vein-y legs, I’ll explain what sclerotherapy is. You’ve probably never heard of it before. Lucky ducks.

Sclerotherapy, which involves a trained medical professional with a sharp needle + saline solution, is a way to permanently remove spider veins & varicose veins from your legs. Doctors have done it since the 1930s, so this is nothing new.

WebMD describes the procedure thusly:

“In most cases of sclerotherapy, the salt solution is injected through a very fine needle directly into the vein. At this point, you may experience mild discomfort and cramping for one to two minutes, especially when larger veins are injected. The procedure itself takes approximately 15 to 30 minutes.”

While the above description is technically correct, what it fails to make clear is that sclerotherapy is not just one injection, it is many injections during the 15 to 30 minutes.

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Meaning, quite simply, that one becomes a human pincushion during this procedure. And while I’m the first to admit that it doesn’t hurt per se, it is damned annoying to be jabbed [oh say, 50 times] with a sharp little needle.

So it is at this point in my life that I find myself this morning. I’m squished inside a hideous pair of pantyhose, wondering how long it’ll be before the memory of this procedure floats out of my mind. And my legs look wunderbar.

Only time will tell I guess.

But Tuesday Is My Favorite Day

February 4, 2014February 5, 2014 / Ally Bean / 18 Comments

I AWAKENED THIS MORNING thinking that today is Friday. As it is Tuesday, I’m way off the mark with that thought. I’m rather amused that I’m confused. It’s like my subconscious is playing a fun little game with me called, “O Bean, Where Art Thou?”

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I HAVE NO EXPLANATION for why this morning my mind skipped a few days ahead, but it did. I like Tuesday so it’s not as if I’m trying to avoid anything.

In fact, once upon a time there was a meme going around that asked specifically which day of the week was your favorite. My answer was Tuesday. An answer, as I recall, that made many people question my sanity.

Nobody likes Tuesday, they told me. I like Tuesday, I replied.

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THEY SAID NOTHING MORE about my answer, but I was left with the distinct impression that I was a nobody, with no credibility at all, because I liked Tuesday .

People can be most peculiar. N’est-ce pas?

And with that bit of wisdom, I’ll take my leave to fly away [so to speak]. Now that I’m awake, Tuesday is calling to me. Catch up with you later, kids.

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So You Want A Blog With Personality, Eh?

January 31, 2014August 29, 2018 / Ally Bean / 21 Comments

“In the midst of the personified impersonal, a personality stands here. Though but a point at best; whencesoe’er I came; wheresoe’er I go; yet while I earthly live, the queenly personality lives in me, and feels her royal rights.”

~ Herman Melville, Moby-Dick; Or, The Whale

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Lately one Google search term has brought inquisitive minds to my blog. People arrive wanting to know:

HOW TO GIVE A BLOG A PERSONALITY.

When the inquisitive ones arrive here they find themselves looking at a post that I wrote called: Yea Verily, A Personality Test Doth A Blog Post Make. As this post talks about the variables that form a human being’s personality, I can only assume that the inquisitive ones leave here sad & uninformed.

WELL, THIS WILL NOT DO AT ALL.

Thus, as someone with a queenly personality, I am pleased to explain how I believe you give a blog a personality. Happy to do it, in fact. From what I can tell, there are four points to keep in mind.

#1 You, yourself, must have a personality that you are willing to share with the world. I’m not being snarky here, but I’ve come to realize that if you do not know who you are & how you want to be perceived by other people, then your blog will show it.

#2 Make your blog look stylish in a way that reflects who you are. Sounds shallow, but a smart-looking blog keeps readers coming back. Don’t know why, but it does. (See #1)

#3 Show up to your stylish blog on a regular basis and write posts that are the epitome of clarity, that give an insight into your values, that suggest an authentic person is keeping this blog. (See #1)

#4 Leave supportive, interesting comments on other blogs so that everyone who reads what you have to say will know that you have a personality– and that you’re not afraid to use it. (See #1)

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT.

Giving a blog a personality is really just about as simple as that. Not necessarily easy, but simple. And doable if you put your heart and mind into it.

Good Luck, inquisitive ones. I leave you with this blessing.

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“May the blogging gods smile upon you– and reward your efforts with genuine followers, sincere likes & insightful comments.”

~ Ally Bean, The Spectacled Bean

Who Needs The Green Flash When You Can Have The Orange Smudge?

January 30, 2014February 12, 2016 / Ally Bean / 10 Comments

I. Anyone who has ever spent any time in southwest Florida standing on the beach looking at the sunset over the Gulf of Mexico, knows that there’s this thing called the green flash. It’s a phenomenon wherein a sharp line of emerald green flashes across the ocean horizon the second that the sun disappears.

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II. For the last few weeks, Ohio has experienced sub-zero temps that have made life [shall we say?] interesting. Since the arrival of this arctic weather, there’s been one aspect of it that has charmed me. Almost every night at sunset when I look out the window across our deck through the trees to the neighbor’s houses, I see a beautiful shade of orange on the horizon.

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III. While not as spectacular and dramatic as the Florida green flash, this delightful Ohio-in-winter sunset phenomenon has a quiet magic of its own that is more in keeping with the low-key vibe of this state. And as such, I believe it deserves a name, too.

So it is with the foregoing in mind that I’ve decided to take it upon myself and name this phenomenon. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ohio’s answer to the green flash. Around here, it’s all about the orange smudge.