In Which We Learn The Secret To Longevity According To My Husband

/ Ally Bean / 14 Comments

~ An early morning conversation between husband [HIM] & wife [ME] that took place in our bathroom ~

HIM:  { stepping out of the shower, drying off, looking in my direction }  You look pretty.

ME:  { awake for less than 15 seconds, standing in front of the mirror, looking at the crazy mess that is my curly hair pre-styling }  Huh?

HIM:  { hanging up his towel }  Your hair looks pretty like that.

ME:  { wondering why I am being forced to converse before my first cup of coffee }  Huh!

HIM:  { looking into the mirror, starting to comb his straight wet hair }  I know that you think that I’m being facetious when I say that you look pretty, but I’m not.

ME:  { using a scrunchie, pulling the top portion of my bobbed hair up into a vertical straggly looking ponytail-esque style good enough for going downstairs to get a cup of coffee }  Huh.

HIM:  { applying shaving cream to his face, looking like Father Time }  And do you know why I’m not being facetious when I say that you look pretty?  It’s because…

ME:  { distracted while searching for my eyeglasses }  What?

HIM:  { looking into the mirror, starting to shave his face while chuckling at his supposed cleverness }  …I don’t know what “facetious” means, so I can’t be saying anything facetious.

ME:  { finally realizing that I’m going to have to talk to him because he’s so full of it }  So if you don’t know what a word means when you use it, then when a doctor tells you that you have some sort of disease that you’ve never heard of, you won’t have it because you don’t know what it is?!!!

HIM:  { stopping mid-shave, looking at me, pontificating upon his brilliance }  Yep.  That’s it exactly.  That’s how I’m going to live to be one hundred: if I don’t know what it is, I can’t get it.  Ignorance is the key to good health.

ME:  { putting on my slippers, leaving the bathroom in search of coffee }  Well then, you’ve nailed that ignorance part.  Enjoy your long life.  I hope you and your second wife will be happy together.

~ The End ~

Regarding Sweetness & Light For Valentine’s Day

/ Ally Bean / 14 Comments

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.  Here are five links of sweetness and light to put you in the right frame of mind.  Enjoy!

√  Fall in love all over again… with puppies.  Watch commercial many times.  Feel all warm & fuzzy inside.  [Which TV show used this music as its theme?]

√  Remember how much you loved the romantic movie You’ve Got Mail.  View the movie’s original promotional website.  Allow its simple charm + your memories of the movie to make you smile.

√  Bake some Mini Cinnamon Rolls with Maple Icing.  Be overwhelmed with happiness upon tasting them.  Try not to eat them all in one sitting.  So good.

√  Print a few free Valentine’s Day cards to give to your sweetie + friends + family.  Remember to give yourself a card, too.  Just because.

√  Take a look back in time when a girl’s dream was to have a man sweep her off her feet.  Be amazed by what good-looking, athletic Douglas Fairbanks, as  Zorro, could do.

A Quiz About 7-Up + Milk, A Blended Food Drink

/ Ally Bean / 21 Comments

:: REQUIRED READING ::

{ source }

:: THE QUIZ ::

Q1:  Can anyone read this advertisement and not wonder: huh?    

  • Correct answer:  Of course not.

Q2:  Can anyone of a certain age look at this advertisement and not be reminded of Laverne who drank milk and Pepsi?

  • Correct answer:  Of course not.

Q3:  Can anyone guess who’d be nutty enough to walk into her kitchen and try this combo?

  • Correct answer:  Of course you can.

Q4:  Can anyone imagine just how icky it is to drink sip a taste of this allegedly wholesome combination?

  • Correct answer:  Of course you can.

Q5:  Can anyone please remember to occasionally remind me that not all of my ideas are good ones?

  • Correct answer:  Of course you can.  

:: CLASS DISMISSED ::

Cold. Bored. But With A Song In My Heart. Or Something Like That.

/ Ally Bean / 16 Comments

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Let’s pretend, for purposes of discussion, that in an uncharacteristic development, I’ve discovered that I have NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT here today.      

That after a week of being at home, unable to get my car down our driveway onto the street due to an ice build-up at the bottom of the driveway where it meets the street, I have NO STORIES TO TELL.    

That after this weather-induced hermit experience my creativity and awareness have disappeared, lost in the boredom that comes from DOING TOO MUCH NOTHING BY MYSELF.

Meaning that all I have to share with you, my gentle readers, is a photo of a birch tree branch that fell on top of the icy snow, making a lovely visual summation of my current situation: IT’S FREEZING OUTSIDE AND I GOT NOTHING MUCH TO DO.         

Except, I guess, to decide what song needs to be in my heart.  ANY SUGGESTIONS, ANYONE?  Goodness knows, I have the time to listen to them all!