My Daily Dose Of Spam

Want to get more comment spam on your blog? 

Well then may I suggest that you post a quiet little tale about an evening at an Italian restaurant and a visit to the zoo.  A post like this one that I wrote on Friday, for instance.

And for good measure, in your blog post be sure to mention Bourbon + uppity sheep.  Because, apparently, it’s this combo that gets comment spammers interested in your sweet little bloggy. 

Or so it seems.

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To me the fascinating thing about comment spam is that some of it is rather thoughtful and pleasant.  As if someone I know really cared about what I had to say and then took the time to post a comment.

  • I could watch Schindler’s List and still be happy after reading this.
  • Great hammer of Thor, that is powerfully helpful!
  • Unbelievable how well-written and informative this was.
  • So that’s the case?  Quite a revelation that is.
  • You put the lime in the coconut and drink the article up.
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Pity spammers aren’t sincere because what blogger wouldn’t enjoy seeing such unique comments underneath his or her blog post?  Makes me wonder why comment spammers do what they do.

My guess is that they are clever and misguided individuals with too much time on their hands– looking to make a quick buck [somehow?] from someone else’s work.  Not really my type of people.

But you have to admit that sometimes they’re kind of funny.

Lots Of Fun, Slightly Different

Last night Z-D and I went to dinner, and then to the zoo, with some people who Z-D knows through business.  Technically it was a business event but these people aren’t in the least bit uptight, so it really was quite fun.

[Not all business events are, you know?  Trust me.]

We went to a small, old-fashioned Italian restaurant for dinner.  I’d heard of the place, but had never been there so I was psyched to try it.  The restaurant was charming in that hodge-podge way of older establishments– rooms added every which way over the years and decorated in a mix of 1970s tables & chairs + fake plastic flowers + framed b&w photos + updated 2011 light fixtures.  Unique, but very practical.  Clean and friendly.

The menu was only Italian fare, and the food was good and plentiful.  But what caught us all by surprise was that along with the usual Chianti and beer selections on the menu, this Italian restaurant offered flights of Bourbon.  Apparently, they are known for having one of the best Bourbon tasting menus in the area.  So, naturally we ordered one flight, lots of glasses and started tasting Bourbon.

[Bottom line: I like Bourbon and appreciate the differences in flavor of the various distilleries.  But I feel that lasagna + bourbon are not a tasty combo.  Either one separately is delish.  Together– not so much.]

After dinner we went to the zoo to see all the holiday lights– 2+ million LED lights to be exact.  The weather was dry (finally) and the temps were in the 40s so we were comfortable while walking around.  Programmed music coordinated with the lights to create a fun series of colorful displays.  And, of course, the little kids were fun to watch watching the lights.  They were really into it.

Most of the animals looked tired and were trying to ignore the lights– and us crazy human beings wandering around after hours.  That would be all the animals except those animals in the petting zoo who were very interested in the human visitors to their area.  Especially the large herd of goats that live beside the 25¢ Goat Chow Dispenser.

Goats are born hungry, pushy, noisy– so I’m accustomed to seeing goats stand by their fence with their front legs on the horizontal supports and their skinny faces staring alternately at the dispenser and passing human beings.  *bleat, bleat*  Ever hopeful.

But what caught our attention and kept us laughing all night was one large fluffy sheep who had infiltrated the goat-herd.  This sheep had adopted the exact stance of the goats, sticking its wide dopey head above the fence rail hoping to get a handful of Goat Chow.  And then, oddly enough, eating the Goat Chow from the hand of a human being.

This I’d never seen before and it entertained me to no end.  Not enough to squander 25¢ on a handful of Goat Chow, but enough to tip my hat to the one uppity sheep in the zoo.

Here’s to the crazy ones…

Obligatory Proof Of Holiday Decoration, Christmas 2011

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Herewith please find PROOF OF HOLIDAY DECORATION in accordance with unwritten blogging rule #1225/jff.  To wit, all bloggers are required to show the world proof of holiday decorating.  No wordy little story about decorating will be accepted in place of mandatory photos.
Further, let it be known that the undersigned, Zen-Den and Ally Bean, jointly and severally hereinafter referred to as “The Beans,” do certify that they decorated their home of their own freewill and with relatively few arguments about how to do said project.
Further still, let it be known that The Beans would very much like to take a couple more photos of the outside of their abode, but the incessant rain has kept them from doing this.  Hence, they humbly submit only one photo of the outside taken while standing inside but leaning out the front door with camera in hand.
Duly submitted and signed this day, December 7, 2011, in the presence of absolutely no one.

Zen-Den & Ally Bean

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Cross Examined At Breakfast

I walked into the kitchen the other morning wearing five pocket straight leg jeans and a t-shirt.  I was carrying my sweater to put on after I ate breakfast, but before I went out the door.  The following conversation ensued.

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Him:  You have sparkles on your butt.

Me:  [shaking my tail feathers]  You like?

Him:  There’s shiny stuff on your back pockets.

Me:  [reaching for the carafe and pouring myself a cup of coffee]  Pretty, huh?

Him:  What are those sparkles doing on your butt?

Me:  [pushing him aside to get into the pantry]  They’re fashionable.  They’re just there.

Him:  Does your sweater cover your butt?

Me:  [ripping open a breakfast bar and biting into it]  I dunno.

Him:  Well, if it’s long enough your sweater will cover the sparkles on your butt.

Me:  [taking another bite of breakfast bar]  Yes, and if it’s short enough you’ll see all the shiny on the pockets.

Him:  Is that what you want?

Me:  [eating my last bite of breakfast bar]  I don’t care.

Him:  Here, put on your sweater.

Me:  [putting on my sweater]  Okay.  How’s it look?  Sparkles or not?

Him:  Your sweater covers part of your pockets.  You’re only half shiny.

Me:  [slurping my last slug of coffee]  Okie dokie then.  I’m a sparkly half-ass.  It’s confirmed.

Him:  Why’d you buy those jeans?

Me:  [grabbing my purse from the floor where I’d put it beside my canvas tote]  I bought them because they were on sale.  I don’t care what happens on the backside.  I don’t see it.  And they fit really well.

Him:  Hmmm.  Yes, they do.

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And this my friends is what it’s like being married to a lawyer.  He can’t just say “pretty.”  Oh no.  He has to get all the details first.  Establish a fact pattern.  And then he’ll comment.  If he’s in the mood.