Aging Gracefully

You Say Kadigan, I Say Menopause

/ Ally Bean / 12 Comments

HERE is something that I learned & maybe you will find it interesting, too.

There is a word to describe the linguistic phenomenon when a person uses a generic placeholder word  for a specific word because that person cannot remember the specific word.  This placeholder word is called a KADIGAN.  More here & here.

# # # 

TO WIT, I will first tell you a sentence filled with kadigans;  it is the sort of sentence that a menopausal woman might say.

Charming example sentence filled with kadigans:

  • Sunshine, I’d love to buy you that gewgaw with the gobbledygook on it, but out here in Podunk, USA, they don’t take credit cards and I don’t have my thingamadoodle to get money from the ATM.

# # # 

THEN I will interpret what I said, translating said sentence into pre-menopausal speak.

Charming example sentence devoid of kadigans:

  • Susan, I’d love to buy you that piece of jewelry with the monogram engraved on it, but out here in this small town, they don’t take credit cards and I don’t have my bank card to get money from the ATM.

# # # 

AND THAT, my gentle readers, is what kadigans are all about.  They are the ability to keep speaking, as if you know what you’re saying, even when you are experiencing your own personal summer & cannot for the life of you remember that word you need to use right now… so you fill-in the blank as best you can.

Not Lonely, Not Bored

/ Ally Bean / 24 Comments
DSCN0359

The Forest Primeval says Good Morning to You.

– – • – –

Another rainy morning here.  Unlike earlier this Spring when the rain made me cranky, this rain is soothing.  Now that bushes and flowers are in bloom the different colors outside combined with the rain make the scene look serene.  Funny what a few weeks will do to a person’s perspective.

Seeing as the forecast says that this rain will continue most of the day, I’ve gathered my favorite electronic gadgets* and am thinking that I’ll make a nest for myself on the TV room sofa.  We’ve got lots of pillows in there and with the window blinds up, I’ll be able to watch the subtle changes in the trees in the Forest Primeval [aka our back yard] without getting damp.

Only five years ago a Summer day like this one would have made me irritable.  But today, thanks to wi-fi, I can sit anywhere in the house and not feel lonely or put out by the weather.  Thinking about it I realize that this development might be one of the biggest changes in my lifetime.  Used to be that a rainy day meant only reading a book sitting in a corner all by myself.

However, now in addition to reading a book I can: connect – research – catch-up – enjoy without going outside in the muddy, wet world.  This is progress, my gentle readers.  Oh yes it is.  Don’t try to tell me otherwise.

– – • – –

* On deck sofa for today are:

  • my [new] Kindle – reading a book 
  • my [relatively new] iPad – watching a TV show or a movie, tweeting on Twitter
  • my [ancient] Motorola clamshell wireless phone – chatting, texting with whomever about whatever, as usual
  • my [almost new] Nikon Coolpix camera – observing the world in case there’s a photo opportunity
  • my [old] MacBook – reading + commenting on blogs, writing a post should the muse strike 

Confounded By Group Photos

/ Ally Bean / 32 Comments

“Time can change me, But I can’t trace time.”

~ David Bowie

# # #

A few months ago I was talking on the phone with a friend who happens to be in her eighties.  She is a delight– mentally with it + honest to a fault.  In other words, exactly who I want to be when I get to be an eightysomething.

In our conversation my friend mentioned that her granddaughter had emailed her some photos of herself with her friends.  The young women had gotten dressed up and gone out to brunch together somewhere pricey.  The photo of was of all of them in front of the restaurant.

# # #

I asked my friend how her granddaughter looked in the photo and my friend said: “Cute, I guess.  All the girls look alike to me, so I can’t tell which one she is.  They all have long, stringy hair and carry huge purses.  I think that my granddaughter is one of them.”

As we talked a bit more about kids.these.days. I chuckled to myself about me humoring a delightful older woman who was clearly confused by the obvious.  I mean, how could she not know which girl was her granddaughter?  Really.

# # #

A younger friend of mine, who is not on Twitter, has a high school daughter, who is on Twitter.  And as you know, I’m on Twitter.  So, every once in a while I check to see what my friend’s daughter is doing on Twitter.

What I have discovered is that this girl is a good kid.  She has pleasant friends, likes ice cream, doesn’t like schoolwork, likes sports, goes on dates.  Nothing scathing at all– unless you consider a few swear words once in a while to be trouble.  Which I don’t.

# # #

One day last week I was glancing at the photos that my friend’s daughter had added to her Twitter feed and I saw a group shot of a bunch of teenage girls.  They were all wearing skinny jeans and white t-shirts and pumps with 4″ heels.  And I thought: “What a cute photo.  I wonder which one is my friend’s daughter?  They all look alike.”  

Then it hit me. *BAM*  I had just said exactly what my older friend said about her granddaughter and her friends.  And I realized that I had morphed into an old woman who couldn’t distinguish one child from another.  

# # #

This means, of course, that now I must admit to my younger friend that I can’t recognize her daughter in the photo.  I can’t help but wonder if my friend will politely listen to me on the phone while chuckling to herself about humoring me, a delightful older woman who is clearly confused by the obvious.  I mean, I would understand where she was coming from… as I was in that same situation only a few short months ago.

Oh yeah.  Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

# # #

Because We Are Just That Exciting, We Went On A Date

/ Ally Bean / 17 Comments

On Thursday I got home late in the afternoon and saw that there was a message on the answering machine from Z-D.  This struck me as odd because I had my cell phone with me and if he really wanted/needed to get hold of me STAT he’d use that method.

So I listened to the message, wondering what was up.  As I did not just fall off the new wife-y turnip truck, I figured that there was something going on that was a bit wonky.  And I was right.

• • •

First: He said, “I have an idea– let’s go out on a date tonight.”

[ME, suspicious:  Hmmm.]

Next: He told me his date night plan.  He wanted us to drive to a town about an hour away & pick up some sandwiches at a local grocery store that has a deli sandwich counter inside it.

[ME, with raised eyebrow:  Okay, maybe.]

Then: He told me that he wanted us to go sit in a parking lot to watch some lights in the parking lot come on.

[ME, stunned:  Do what?!  That’s a date???]

Finally: He said, “I’ll pick you up at home in about an hour or so.  See ‘ya soon.  ‘Bye.”

[ME, shouting at the phone machine:  That’s not a date.  That’s something you have to do for work, isn’t it?]

• • •

And you know as I stood there staring at the answering machine I had three thoughts.  Simultaneously.  Before the machine even turned itself off.

  • My God we are old if this is his idea of a date.  Honest to Pete, watch lights come on?!!  What kind of date is that?
  • Rather clever of me to know that there was something up with this message before I heard it.  I’m getting good at this marriage thing.  Yeah me!
  • Well– phooey, I don’t have a thing planned for this evening and those sandwiches are yummy, so I guess that I’ll go out with him.  Might be kind of fun.

… and you know what?  It was.