AMA

July Reply: Answering YOUR Miscellaneous Questions + My Conclusions About Doing This Project [AMA Part 3 Of 3]

/ Ally Bean / 182 Comments

PREVIOUSLY…

As promised, this is the last installment of the AMA Extravaganza, a blogging project I dreamed up in June [HERE] as a way to see what y’all were curious about + as a way of focusing attention on other bloggers.

So far I’ve answered YOUR questions about blogging [HERE] and YOUR questions about me [HERE].

Again I’m highlighting who asked each question and adding a link to their blog. This I hope will create and extend a sense of community that is, in my experience, the backbone of personal blogging.

Plus for your entertainment I’ve added 3 memes from the National Park Service, that has the best sense of humor of any government agency.

See what you think.

YOUR QUESTIONS + MY ANSWERS

The following questions are listed alphabetically using the first letter of the first name of the Cool Kid who asked the question. Thanks to everyone who asked a question. My answers immediately follow each question.   

📌 Barbara from Book Club Mom asks: Do you think a person’s opinion of a book can change after discussing it with others? Has this ever happened to you?

MY ANSWER: Yes, a person’s opinion of a book can change after discussing it with other people. Or having it explained to you by someone, like a college prof, who understand the context better or has more life experience than you.

For me a case in point would be The Scarlet Letter by Hawthorne that I thought was a pathetic story until I learned more about the era it was set in– and how hypocritical religious folks can be. 🤨

📌 Betsy from Motherhood and Martial Arts asks: Did some punk on here already ask you to explain the meaning of life? 

MY ANSWER: No, Betsy, no one else has asked me to explain the meaning of life. You’re the only one to ask IF someone has asked me that question. And that is my punkish reply. 😜

📌 Catsandcoffee from MIDLIFE CAT LADY asks: If you were reincarnated into an animal, what would it be and why?

MY ANSWER: I’ve wrestled with my answer to this question. On the one hand I’d go with CAT because I adore their indifferent attitude towards pleasing people.  But on the other hand I’m drawn to SLOTH because they make me smile and live life at their own pace.

I dunno for sure so depending on my mood: 😼 or 🦥

📌 Ernie from … no small feet asks: Do you and Zen Den have couples that you meet up with for dinner/drinks. etc. And have you struggled to find couples that you both enjoy? …  How do you handle this issue?

MY ANSWER: Most of our socializing with other couples has been a result of Z-D’s work relationships. This means that unless I really dislike a couple, we continue to see them… because business. I figure it’s only for a few hours and if [almost always] there are adult beverages involved, it’s all good. 🍸

📌 JT Twissell from SAYING NOTHING IN PARTICULAR asks: Have you ever been asked if you were on drugs?

MY ANSWER: Welp, up until this question no one has ever asked me if I was on drugs. I am not, nor ever have been, but thanks for asking. Perhaps I should investigate taking some? Are you suggesting a new goal for me? 😵‍💫

📌 Janis at Retirementally Challenged asks: What kind of bean are you: lima, baked, jelly, or some other type?

MY ANSWER: Oddly enough I have answered this question before in THIS POST wherein I shared my bean personality after taking an online quiz from THE BEAN INSTITUTE that told me: “You’re the Pinto Bean: Humble, Unassuming, Relaxed & Modest.”

Ha! Didn’t see that answer coming, did ‘ya? 😉

📌 LA from Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50 asks: My friend asks me for fashion advice…. Do I tell her what I really think or do I continue to skirt around the issue, realizing it’s just my opinion, but in the back of my head, she already sees the things I see, and wants confirmation? 

MY ANSWER: If an acquaintance asked this I’d be noncommittal, BUT if a friend asked for fashion advice like yours has, I’d be more truthful, in a tactful way.

I’d approach it from the improv point of view wherein you say “yes/and” when it’s your turn to talk.  That is, your friend says something about an outfit then I’d say: “YES you could wear that AND you might be able to enhance it by ________.”  She talks and your reply is: “YES I get what you’re saying AND you could try _______.”

This continues until the conversation has reaches its logical conclusion. Then you never say another word about what she decides to wear. 🤐

📌 Mark Petruska from Mark My Words asks: If we were stranded on a desert island together, what skills do you think I would bring to the table? How about you? Would we be able to put our collective noggins together and figure a way off the damned island ala Tom Hanks in “Castaway,” or would we perish after a few weeks? … Keep in mind we don’t have a Wilson with us (though hopefully I’m more entertaining than a damn volleyball).

MY ANSWER: Dude, we’re doomed. No way are we going to survive being stranded on a desert island for a few weeks.

Sure you have amazing writing skillz and can mow a huge yard on a riding mower, but those abilities, while admirable, are worth zilch when stranded in the way you envision.  Plus the only skill I could bring to the situation is to complain, very well of course, taking into account everything that is wrong, but I know that gift wouldn’t contribute to our survival either.

The only way I can fathom us surviving is IF we had Wilson with us, and you’ve taken that option off the table, so my friend it’s over for us, been great knowing ‘ya. 🏐

📌 Mary from Mary J Melange asks: Is there a question you will never ever answer because of the skeleton in the closet? Where do you hide the bodies? Is there such a thing as watching too much crime drama on TV? Is there such a thing as too many cats or too much chocolate? Where did I leave my car keys? Are you annoyed by stupid questions?

MY ANSWER: First let me congratulate you on asking the most random stream of questions that anyone has asked here.

Well done.

Next let me assure you that I have some skeletons somewhere, but none involve real bodies nor do I keep them in a closet.  Mine are decorative, stored in the basement, used to zhoosh up the house for Halloween.  And yes, I’m sure some of us watch way too many TV crime dramas, but I shall not name names.

I believe, and this might be controversial, that you can have too many cats and too much chocolate. I’ll not elaborate further lest I inflame someone with my opinion.

I suggest you search for your car keys in the kitchen, maybe tossed into the silverware drawer by accident? Or pushed into the trash can by Gibbs? Or Hoshi? And no I’m not annoyed by your inventive questions. In fact I’m giving you a trophy for your cleverness. 🏆

📌 nance from Dept. of Nance asks: Is there anything you’ve ever just plain given up on?

MY ANSWER: I’ve give up on lots of things, from career aspirations to the best recipe for cheesecake– and everything in-between. The thing is I believe there is nothing wrong with giving up.

Yes, you read that right.

You just have to be clear about why you’re giving up and how your life will change because of it. If you’re comfortable with your answers to those two variables, then give up– and move on. 😌

📌 philmouse from Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge asks: You’re cool (of course) so the obvious question is what flavor of ice cream do you prefer? Do you think ice cream choice reveals a lot about a person? …Some people are fans and dedicated to one flavor, some love experiments and variety, some may change as they mature – or move to a new place. Do you think there should be some research money available for a study on this? 

MY ANSWER: Okay, here goes. My favorite flavors of ice cream have changed over the years.  As a child I liked raspberry ripple, then as a teenage moved on to mint chocolate chip, followed by a decade of chocolate almond.  However now, as a confirmed adult, I like vanilla bean vanilla [never French vanilla] or caramel.

Whether I’ve revealed anything important about myself, or if there should be research money available for how a person’s ice cream preferences change, is not for me to decide.

HOWEVER I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that there is a well-funded research project happening on this question. Such is the way of the modern world, no detail of human behavior is too small to explore on someone else’s dime. 🍨

📌 Sadje from Keep it alive asks: Why does it rains when you don’t have an umbrella and it’s sunny when you do have one?

MY ANSWER: This is a brilliant question. My answer to it demonstrates why I’m sometimes described as charmingly cynical. My reply is: because the Universe likes to screw with you, just to see what you’ll do next! ☔️

IN CONCLUSION

While doing this project my stats were booming. In the words of WordPress: “The Spectacled Bean is getting noticed.”

Here is what I learned by doing this AMA Extravaganza, something I’ll probably never do again, but was worth doing once to test my mettle:

  1. When you solicit questions from your readers you open yourself up to a whole lot of randomness.
  2. If you are not prepared to make yourself vulnerable, don’t do this: remember you’re giving up your control over what you’ll be writing about.
  3. Readers asked excellent questions and answering them took more time than I imagined it would, so I spread my answers out over a few weeks which was not my original plan.
  4. This project was worthwhile because by adding a link to the blog of anyone who asked a question I was sharing the limelight with other people, thus this wasn’t all about me. Hallelujah!

July Reply: Answering YOUR Questions About Me [AMA Part 2 Of 3]

/ Ally Bean / 183 Comments

PREVIOUSLY…

Last week I introduced this AMA Extravaganza by answering your questions about how to blog. Go HERE to read who asked a question, what it was, and what I said.

Today I’ll continue answering your questions, this time about me.

Again I’ve highlighted who asked each question and added a link to their blog. I’m doing that in order to create and extend a sense of community that is, in my experience, the backbone of personal blogging.

YOUR QUESTIONS  + MY ANSWERS

These questions, occasionally edited for clarity, are arranged alphabetically by topic, then chronologically by when the asker of the question asked the question. Thanks to everyone. I reply in one answer to similar questions because that seems sensible to me, she who is answering your questions.

🟣 CHILDHOOD & TEEN YEARS
• Lynn from Life After 50 asks: how might others have perceived you as a teenager rather than what did you think of yourself? Or maybe both?
• L. Marie from El Space- The Blog of L. Marie asks: what were you like in high school?
• Nicki from Behind the Story asks: Tell me more about yourself as a “cool kid.” From what I have noticed, you’re imaginative and funny and open to new experiences and people. What are some examples of your cool kid ways? Were you a cool kid in kindergarten?

MY ANSWER: As a kindergartener I was shy and serious;  I was, after all, an only child of older well-educated parents so kids, my peers, kind of baffled me with their rambunctiousness.  As a high school student I was focused on learning enough to go to college, but I goofed off too. There might have been underage drinking involved.  But not with the Popular Kids, only with other kids who I’d known since forever who were also just trying to survive long enough to escape from our small town.

🟣 DAILY LIFE

• Dale from A Dalectable Life asks: Do you work full-time outside of the house?
• Marty from Snakes in the Grass asks: … in what field [did] you [work] in your career. Your husband’s also?
• Judy from NewEnglandGardenAndThread asks: what makes a really good day for you?
• Dan from No Facilities asks: What’s Ally’s favorite thing to do when not blogging?
• The Travel Architect from THE TRAVEL ARCHITECT asks: what is a daily routine you can’t live without (not literally, like eating, but a cozy habit you love)?

MY ANSWER: I’ve worked as a paralegal, marketing researcher, merchandiser, sales rep, retail store manager, fundraiser, project manager, and writer. In other words, many jobs, no career. I am currently not working outside the home, preferring to lean into the idea that I’m a genuine slacker or perhaps I’m accidentally retired along with my husband who worked as, and technically still is, a lawyer.

When not applying myself to the rigors of being a blogger, I like to goof around with recipes in the kitchen;  or mess around with plants;  or fret over interior design decisions;  or go for walk;  or read a book;  or play board games;  or watch a mystery or comedy TV show.

A quiet calm life makes me happy.

A really good day for me would involve fresh air, tasty food + drink, laughing with friends, reading/learning, and moments of gratitude for how well I’ve landed in life.  My only “cozy habit” is to say tres bien when I drink my first mug of coffee in the morning. I consider it a blessing and a goal.

🟣 DEFINITION OF COOL
• Margy from Amusives asks: What generation of ‘cool’ did you grow up in? Has the term changed much as each generation used it?
• Mary from Mary J Melange asks: Can cool kids also be nerdy kids? 
• Pat from retirementtransition asks: I’ve never been a Cool Kid… how can this always-been-a -Do-Bee become a truly Cool Kid?

MY ANSWER: As a former Do-Bee, in order to answer your questions about being a Cool Kid, I decided to research the term “cool” to learn something about its slang etymology, figuring that would shed light on the phrase Cool Kid.

I read three articles* and will summarize my findings thusly:

  1. cool, as in a way to describe someone who is effortlessly with it, came into our lexicon in the 1920s via jazz;
  2. cool is something someone else says about you, you cannot declare yourself to be cool;  and
  3. that which is considered cool changes about every decade so it can mean whatever you want it to mean within the context of your life experiences &/or the decade in which you are currently living.
🟣 GENERAL KNOWLEDGE
• Esoterica from Existential Ergonomics asks: What topic could you give a 20-minute presentation on without any preparation?

MY ANSWER: I could talk about the ups and downs of personal blogging or what I’ve learned about interior design through the lens of the mistakes I’ve  made.

🟣 GEOGRAPHY
• Linda from The Task at Hand asks: what state do you live in?
• Bijoux from Bytes from the ‘Burbs asks: … have you always lived in the Cincinnati area? Did you go to college in Ohio? And do you agree that Graeter’s is the best ice cream ever?

MY ANSWER: I live in southwest Ohio, although I was born and raised in central Ohio. After attending college in this region I stayed. And YES Graeter’s ice cream is the best ice cream ever. I’m especially keen on their Vanilla Bean or their Caramel.

🟣 PERSONALITY
• Victoria from Victoria Ponders asks: has humor always served you well…in your work life, with friends/family? It seems like such a potent part of your personality. And does your humor come from some familial source? A nature or nurture gift?
• Lynette from In the Net! – Pictures and Stories of Life asks: are you an introvert or extrovert, and has this consciously affected your life choices?
• Deb from Debs Despatches asks: is the person we see here at the Spectacled Bean the real you, or only a slice of you? I know you choose (as do I) to exclude certain matters, but other than that bit of editing, do we get to see the real Ally Bean?

MY ANSWER: I seem to have been born with a sense of humor. I know that from early on I could crack up my parents with my quips. They both could be humorous, but were more reserved than I so my truthfulness made them laugh, but got me in trouble, too.

I’m an introvert who can be extroverted when necessary. I believe that is now referred to as an ambivert. It’s only been with age that I’ve come to understand myself, my ability to work successfully with people BUT to also embrace my innate desire to avoid people.

The person you see here is the real me, albeit with a blogging nom de plume. I don’t talk about everything I do, however the way in which I talk about that which I do is the same here as in real life. Well, not entirely true… in real life I swear more.

🟣 STYLE
• Gigi from Gigi’s Ramblings asks: How would you describe your fashion/style choices? Boho Chic, Classic, Jeans and Tee, etc. Also, you’ve mentioned you have curly/wavy hair… what is your preferred styling method and why?
Suzanne from Picture Retirement asks: What is your favorite color and why?

MY ANSWER: I tend to be a casual jeans and t-shirt girl, opting for flats or boots or Birks depending on the weather. I like simple lines, tailored clothes, but nothing too traditional or formal. No ruffles ever.

I don’t do florals or checks. I wear understated  jewelry like hoop or stud earrings, smallish necklaces, and my wedding rings. My curly frizzy graying hair is pulled back into a ponytail or twisted into a librarian bun at the nape of my neck.

When it comes to my wardrobe I stick with a medium Summer palette a la Carole Jackson’s Color Me Beautiful system. My favorite color is teal. I look good in it and I like to see in my home, too. I find it soothing.

🟣 TRAVEL
• Deb from Closer to the Edge asks about: The most fascinating place you have ever visited and what made it so?
• Margaret from Stargazer asks: Now that Z-D is retired, do you have any plans to travel? If so, where is your dream destination and why?
• Neil from YEAH, ANOTHER BLOGGER asks: Do you have any vacation plans for the second half of 2023?

MY ANSWER: It’s a toss-up about the most fascinating place I’ve visited.  I liked seeing: the Alhambra in Granada, Spain [gorgeous intricate tilework];  Banff and Lake Louise in Alberta, Canada [picture perfect vistas]; and Charleston, South Carolina, USA [funky buildings, groovy vibe].  Plus I liked, and relaxed into, the lushness of Hawaii and Wales.

We probably won’t be traveling anywhere outside of Ohio this year, but eventually would like to see more of Canada, visit all the U.S. Presidential Libraries, and go to Spain, France, Italy.  Also return to England again, maybe visit the University of Exeter where I spent a term when I was in undergrad.

We’ll see how it plays out.

🟣 WRITING
• Dave from LIFE IN A WORD asks: Do you have other outlets for your writing besides blogging?
• Arlene from Somerton Smith asks: What other things are you writing these days?
• Mona from Wayward Sparkles asks: I was wondering whether you’ve ever considered taking the top 10 to 20 best of your posts (your choice) and turning them into a book? Or perhaps you might write a book of the best wisdom you’ve gotten or given on your blog?
• Pam from ROUGHWIGHTING asks: Do you think before you write, or just go ahead and be a panster and write as the words come?

MY ANSWER: I only write this blog, nothing more. When it comes to writing posts I know the topic or situation I want to write about but then just babble as the words come, with no advance outline in mind.

I’m a pantster who edits mercilessly.

I’ve talked with some published authors about whether I could turn my posts into a book of essays and the upshot is that I don’t have the desire or patience to write a book. You need a raging fire in your belly to do that– and all I have in my belly is one blue tip safety match.

🟣 ZEN-DEN
• Nicole from GIRL in a BOY HOUSE asks: I’d like to ask how you and Zen Den met.
• Janet from Janet’s Smiles asks: Will you ever post a picture of you and your hubby?
• Linda from WALKIN’, WRITIN’, WIT & WHIMSY asks: … my question to you would be “how has life changed for you since Z-D retired?” I know you wrote about his side hustle but that is from home, so he has no commute and (hopefully) creates his own schedule. Are you getting out for the long walks you had hoped to?
• Colleen from Martin Family Moments asks: Since you don’t post photos of yourself or your husband, could you choose the closest two celebrities that might be your doppelgangers?

MY ANSWER: Zen-Den and I met in college when he was studying Spanish with a girl down the hall in my dorm.  She introduced us and we hit it off immediately.  At the time we were each dating someone else but knew we were destined for each other.

I doubt that I’ll ever post a photo of us because I’ve made it a point to keep this blog about words and ideas, almost completely free from personal people photos.

That being said, when we were younger Z-D looked like his Uncle Don John Belushi [Animal House] and I was told I looked like my Great Aunt Idy Mare Winningham [St. Elmo’s Fire]. However now, as old people, we’re looking more like Fred and Ethel Mertz [I Love Lucy].

Z-D’s retirement hasn’t played out quite like I imagined. It’s a long story, not mine to tell, but in addition to his side hustles he continued to work part-time for his employer for many months after he retired. Plus the house has needed lots of repairs that have kept us house poor, so we have yet to experience a full-time retirement lifestyle.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Next week [or maybe later this week depending on my mood] I’ll  post the final installment HERE of this AMA Extravaganza. Once again I’ll be featuring the bloggers who asked the questions and answering their questions that best can be described as wildly miscellaneous and decidedly inventive.

You’ll see. You’ll like it.

* Sources:

  1. How Did Cool Become Such a Big Deal? via Humanities, The Magazine Of The National Endowments For The Humanities
  2. When “Cool” Got Cool via Vocabulary.com
  3. The Birth of Cool via Slate

July Reply: Answering YOUR Questions About Blogging [AMA Part 1 Of 3]

/ Ally Bean / 185 Comments

INTRODUCTION

This is the longest blog post I’ve written for this blog.

On the one hand this goes against my established blogging ethos: keep it snappy, keep it short.  BUT on the other hand, and this is the point I’m attempting to make, I appreciate the questions that you, the Cool Kids, asked me a few weeks ago on my June AMA post.

I want to answer them truthfully so I got wordy.

ALSO, and perhaps you picked up on this, my ulterior motive for soliciting your AMA questions wasn’t to give me a way to yada-yada-yada about myself more [Lord knows I’ve done that enough over the years], it was/is so that I have a smooth way to introduce you to each other.

Yep, that’s what I’m doing here.

You see, many new bloggers have found The Spectacled Bean in the last year and I wanted to create a way in which I could politely introduce y’all to each other: old-timers meet newbies, new-timers meet oldbies.

That sort of thing.

Thus by highlighting who asked each question and adding a link to their blog I am doing that, hoping to create and extend a sense of community that is, in my experience, the backbone of personal blogging.

But wait, there’s more.

In addition, as a way of visually breaking up this long post, I’ve added a few photos of TV show characters whose attitude, I believe, is representative of what it takes to be a well-rounded successful personal blogger.

See if you agree.

YOUR QUESTION + MY ANSWERS

The following questions, occasionally edited for clarity, are listed alphabetically using the first letter of the first name of the Cool Kid who asked the question. Thanks to everyone who asked a question. My answers immediately follow each question.   

🔹 Annika Perry from Annika Perry asks: Friendships formed here are very much part of the heart of blogging. In which ways are your friendships formed here similar and/or different to those in person?

MY ANSWER: My friendships in the blogosphere are based on kindred creative spirits who like to think about life and laugh often. My friendships in real life are based more on shared experiences and living geographically close to each other.

🔹 Christie Hawkes from So what? Now what? asks: As for my questions, when you first started blogging, did you intentionally set out to build your tribe of cool kids or did it happen more organically? Besides the effort that goes into reading and responding to comments, what else surprised you about blogging?

MY ANSWER: I didn’t set out to create a tribe of Cool Kids. It happened organically over time as more readers found my blog and jumped into the comment section. And that is the my biggest surprise about blogging: people are more than willing to chat about stuff IF you give them a nonjudgmental + fun online place to do so.

🔹 Donna Connolly from RETIREMENT REFLECTIONS asks: What is your biggest pet peeve about blog comments?

MY ANSWER: My biggest pet peeve is the way in which WordPress arbitrarily tosses some comments into moderation, or worse spam, when I’ve not put someone into moderation or marked someone as spam. Some long-time commenters are always sent into moderation and I don’t know why. Flip side, some never-commented-here-before commenters are sent straight through the system without being approved by me. It’s wacky.

🔹 E.A. Wickham from bleuwater asks: My questions are when did you start blogging and why? How has your blog changed through the years?

MY ANSWER: I started blogging in 2004 because I was curious to see what blogs were about. Early on had various blogs that I now refer to as my starter blogs. As a personal blogger I’ve morphed from a diarist, jibber-jabber-ing daily, to what I think of as a weekly newspaper lifestyle columnist, talking about my life, eclectic topics of interest, and what makes people tick.

Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation: OPTIMISTIC

🔹 Eilene Lyon from Myricopia asks: How does one go about creating a meme? Bear in mind this question comes from someone who couldn’t figure out how to use Canva.

MY ANSWER: I don’t have a good answer to your question because I’ve never made a meme. I just stumble over memes online. That being said I do use Canva to make pretty images with quotes, so even though you mention that you “couldn’t figure out how to use Canva” I went there to learn about memes.

I discovered THIS seemingly straightforward how-to guide for making memes. A weak answer to your question, but it’s all I’ve got.

🔹 Endless Weekend from The Endless Weekend asks: Is it mostly spam that ends up being “commented” on older posts? Is that the reason you close comments after a few weeks? Why is it that you close comments on older (and still interesting!) posts?

MY ANSWER: It got to a point where I was overwhelmed with spam on older posts, so to save my sanity I decided to close them. BUT the reality is that many people still comment on previously closed posts. They do so in any current post’s comment section, meaning that the conversation continues– and the spammers can suck it.

🔹 Esoterica from Existential Ergonomics asks: I’m curious about your thoughts about bridging the changing *you* across a decade plus of blogging.

MY ANSWER: In the process of writing a personal blog for almost two decades I realize that I’ve evolved into a more generous mellower soul, more open-minded, more precise with my word choices, and just happy to goof off here without any particular goal in mind.

🔹 Jennifer Stone from Still Bitchy After 60 asks: So how do you manage to make all your comments so genuine?

MY ANSWER: In truth I am curious about what people have to say so my interest is genuine. However I’ll admit that when I started blogging I was awful at comments: often what I meant to say and what I said were 180º opposite.

Thus I researched how to reply to comments. I learned that comment replies should: 1) mirror the length of the comment you’re replying to; 2) focus on all aspects of what the commenter said; and 3) be chatty not stilted & pedantic.

Clara Oswald from Dr Who: CURIOUS

🔹 Julia Preston from Voices in My Head asks: What the heck is AMA? 🤔

MY ANSWER: Mea culpa for not explaining that AMA stands for Ask Me Anything.  It’s lingo from Reddit.

🔹 Kendra Purtell from An Audience of One [rhetorically] asks: How do you NOT respond when someone is kind enough to not only read your post, but also leave a thoughtful comment?

MY ANSWER: I don’t get it either. I consider every comment a gift and I want to say *thank you* in the only way I can which is to reply to the comment. But not everyone thinks like I/we do.

🔹 Marian Beaman from PLAIN And Fancy asks: Does your husband read your blog posts? replies in the comment section?

MY ANSWER: My husband reads my blog. When he was working in a downtown office he’d comment on my posts in the comment section, BUT now that he’s at home he comments by telling me in person what he thinks.

🔹 Marie A Bailey from 1 Write Way asks: How often do people suggest that you should “monetize” your blog since you have created such an engaging community?

MY ANSWER: Occasionally I’ll get an email from a company that wants to form a brand alliance and have me write posts about their products or services. I politely say “no.” I write this blog for snorts and giggles, to keep my brain clicking and my heart open, so to use it for profit seems ill-considered to me.

🔹 Michelle Goggins from MG Doodle Studio asks: Do you have any other blogging etiquette advice?

MY ANSWER: I’m not sure that I do. Maybe remind people to check their spelling? Or make sure your links work? Or make your blog look pretty so people enjoy seeing it? That’s what comes to mind. Is that etiquette or just common sense?

Karen Walker from Will & Grace: AMUSED

🔹 NGS from The Time for Change asks: Do people ever reference things to you from your blog from a long time ago that you’ve completely forgotten about? How has your personal view on blogging changed over the years? The role of your blog in your life? Do you have any regrets about something you’ve posted/not posted?

MY ANSWER: Yes, people occasionally remember things I wrote about that I’d forgotten I wrote about and that’s trippy. My personal view of blogging has remained consistent over the years: blogging is a great way to communicate, feel understood, learn things, and LAUGH.

As for regrets, I know I’ve written posts that sounded meaner or loopier than I meant them to be, but I don’t regret it. You learn by doing when it comes to personal blogging. It’s all about being vulnerable, figuring out what works or not, then moving forward gracefully.

🔹 Nicole MacPherson from GIRL in a BOY HOUSE asks: Is there a TYPE of blog you like the best? Are there certain blogs that you favour for certain reasons?

MY ANSWER: I don’t lean into a specific niche of blogs. What I like to read, and this is incredibly subjective, is a blog written by someone who seems to have an authentic, slightly off-the-wall, personality. As long as the person doesn’t write anything crude or vile or inflammatory, I don’t care about their topics as much as the overall vibe of the blog.

🔹 Patty Moore Wilson from WEDNESDAY’S CHILD asks: I didn’t know I could close comments after a certain time!!! So… how do I do that?

MY ANSWER: In my version of WP you go to Settings, then Discussion, then Other comment settings, to “Automatically close comments on posts older than [you fill-in the number] days”

Once you do that you have to scroll down the page and hit Save Changes and then you’re all set. You can change the number of days anytime you want so it’s not like you’ve locked into it forever.

🔹 Pete Springer from Pete Springer asks: What do you do when working with a fellow blogger who wants to do a dual or guest post but isn’t communicative about when the post might come out?

MY ANSWER: Good question but I don’t really know. The bloggers I’ve worked with have been organized and precise about when something will be published. My only thought, an obvious one, is that you could try sending an urgent email asking for the “when” but this is personal blogging, not a work setting, so I don’t think you have much leverage.

Penny from The Big Bang Theory: DETERMINED

🔹 Rae Cod from RAE COD’S WRITING asks: I have you pegged as an epic time manager, capable of keeping up with all your blog comments… how long (on average) does it take?

MY ANSWER: I’ve never timed myself when it comes to replying to comments left on this blog. I pop in and out of blogland randomly during the day so I’m not sure.

That being said, let’s say I get 100 comments and it takes me 3 minutes to reply to each one: 300 minutes = 5 hours. On the one hand that’s a lot of time but it’s not all at once and it is at my own pace, so it seems like fun.

🔹 Shelley from Quaint Revival asks: Do you have a title in mind for a blog post Before or After you write the blog post and why? What inspires your clever titles? Do you write a post all in one setting or over a period of time in between your posts? What is one lesson for newbie bloggers to learn that you wish you had known at the beginning of your blogging experience?

MY ANSWER: I rarely have a blog title in mind when I start writing blog posts, they come to me in the process of writing. I write one blog post over many days, often in dribs and drabs, as time permits and inspiration finds me.

As a newbie I wish I’d understood that LESS IS MORE. Early on I drove myself batty posting daily, often long wordy posts, because I thought I was supposed to do that. But I learned otherwise and scaled back to a  weekly-ish schedule. Readers seem to respond positively to less from me, than to more from me.

That’s the lesson. 🙄

🔹 Suzanne from LIFE OF A DOCTOR’S WIFE asks: How many people in offline-life know that you blog? And do you ever get together with people you know from blogging (and nowhere else)? And do you ever get recognized in the wild? (Difficult, I know, without photos… but I feel like it COULD happen.)

MY ANSWER: Anyone who pays any attention to me in real life should know that I write a personal blog, having done so for almost 20 years now. My blog has never been a secret.

I’ve never gotten together with other bloggers. If they exist in the wild around here I don’t know who they are and obviously they don’t know who I am either. Or they know I’m here and just haven’t included me. That’s a possibility too.

🔹 Wynne Leon from Surprised By Joy asks: If answering comments wasn’t what you expected when you started blogging – what did you expect? And has what it has turned out to be better, worse, or just different?

MY ANSWER: I expected personal blogging to be small and more tight-knit than it is. I thought it’d be like efficiently sending a fast email to a few friends and family, just doing it publicly so that everyone could read it in the same place, then reply underneath. What I envisioned is what FB, that arrived on the scene a few years after I started blogging, turned out to be.

For me personal blogging has been much bigger and more far-flung; it’s better than what I thought it’d be. I live in the midwest USA yet connect with people around the world via their blogs, their interests, their lifestyles. It’s all good– and endlessly compelling.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Next week I’ll be back answering more questions, this time about who I am [HERE]. Then the following week I’ll conclude this AMA Extravaganza with a post comprised of your miscellaneous questions [HERE].

In the meantime, may I suggest that you take a peek at some of the bloggers who asked questions here. Who knows, you may make some new bloggy friends.

Of Cool Kids & Comments: 2 FAQ Answered. Got More Questions?

/ Ally Bean / 224 Comments

Here is why you are the cool kids  

It’s my takeaway from one of the nicest compliments I’ve received on this blog. A long time ago a blogger told me I was one of the Cool Kids a la high school.

She explained that I wasn’t one of the Popular Kids, like the jocks with their toadies or the mean girls with their wannabes. Nor was I one of the obedient Do Bees who followed all the rules.

Instead she said that I was one of the Cool Kids, a quiet rebel, sitting in the back of the class, amused by what I saw going on, able to do my own thing with my friends.

I was flattered by what she said. It jived with my perception of who I am so I decided that: 1) if you comment here you are my friend;  and 2) as such that makes you a Cool Kid, too.

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This is how I deal with comments

First of all I’m grateful to receive as many comments as I do. Cool Kids are the best. Thank you.

That being said, as many of you have noted, it does take some doing on my part to keep up with all the comments. I’ll admit this isn’t what I anticipated when I started blogging, yet I want to be friendly and conscientious because that’s the kind of blogger I am.

You understand.

Thus my approach to my comment section is to:

  • only post on days when I know I’ll have the flexibility to reply to comments as they come in;
  • check comments frequently, but not obsessively, on the first few days after I post; and
  • close comments on every post after about three weeks.

In other words, in a nutshell, I don’t turn my back on my comment section lest I be swept under and overwhelmed about replying to them.

[Also for those who are interested, HERE is something I wrote about blog comments a few years ago. The post received 388 comments. 🙄]

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Do you have more questions for me?

It’s been a long time since I asked for your questions. I’ve no specific reason why I haven’t done an AMA post recently, just no planning on my part, I guess.

So to correct this lapse and to keep things fresh & different around here, I’m asking you to leave me some questions in the comment section of this post. The questions can be about blogging or me or seeking advice for a problem.

Anything that you’re curious about.

Then starting in July, in a different post [or posts], I’ll answer your questions to the best of my ability which is to say I reserve the right to not answer any questions that I deem unreasonable.

In my answers I’ll make sure to mention you and your blog, adding a link to your blog of course so that the Cool Kids can find you.

How’s that for an incentive to ask me a question!