Musings On Being A Good Listener

It’s not unusual for someone— who might be a close friend or a brand new acquaintance– to lean in close to me and then tell me something private about himself or herself.  I’m THAT sort of person.

Everyone tells me everything.  Always have.  Always will, I suppose.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that if someone feels threatened by me, then I know that person has mental health problems.  Because no well-balanced person ever thinks of me as a threat.

They think of me as a confidante, a mother confessor, a problem solver, but never as someone to be wary of.

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When I was in college I asked a prof in the Communications department why she thought people treated me like this.  I was taking her course in listening at the time and had excelled at all the classroom auditory tests.

Her observations were that I was an active listener [H/T to my parents on that one] and that I appear to pay attention to what is going on around me.  So, because I tune into people, they are comfortable around me and want me to know things about them.

At the time I thought that was as good of an explanation as any– and I still do.

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I don’t really mind my role as listener, but do find AT TIMES people say some pretty wacko things to me.  I’m not a Judgey McJudgerton, so I let most things roll off me.  I figure that I’m not here to change people, I’m here to help whoever find his or her own way by allowing him or her to talk openly about– well, whatever.

To wit, it’s rare for me to tell someone he or she is doing something stupid, childish, immoral, unethical.  In fact, if by chance I ever tell you that you need to behave differently, then you can be assured that you’ve crossed some sort of line.

And that it’s time for you to re-think how & why you do what you do.

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Anyone else find him or herself in the same sort of role as I do– that is, people telling you things for no apparent reason?  And if so, how do you handle it?  With grace or with annoyance?  With zipped lips or with your finger on speed dial to immediately pass the info along?

Just curious.  No reason, really.  

Notes To Myself, Part II

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I’ve been in a good place lately.

Seeing reality more clearly.  Feeling more deeply.

Understanding and trusting the process.

So it is no surprise that I came upon this poster by Emily P. Freeman.

{“When the student is ready, the teacher will come.”}

It is her how-to guide to making art that matters.  Art with a soul.

I like it as an artist’s manifesto– and as a guide for living an authentic life.

It expresses what I have come to believe.

That mediocrity and love cannot inhabit the same place.

The good place– where everything is just as it should be.

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Are We Talking About Me Or My Home Here?

•  I took this color personality quiz.  It told me that …

•  My results linked to an article on the Better Homes & Gardens website that told me when decorating a house…

“Honey colors take a back seat to the room’s other elements, making them a go-to color for those who want fabrics or art to shine.”

•  The article also featured this lovely photo of honey & honey-colored paint can lids…

•  But my favorite part of the article was a quote from Elaine Griffin, a NYC interior designer.  She said that one should…

“Think of it [honey] as beige after it has had a cocktail or after spending a day at the beach.”

•  Which means, I guess, that my house should be tipsy and sunburnt.  For me this sounds like an ideal day, but for my home?  Really?  That’s what it needs?!  Hmmm… who knew?  😉

[More home decor quizzes here: Love, Dreams & Color Schemes]

Of Kayaks And Sunsets

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Four weeks ago we were in Naples, Florida.

We went to my favorite access point onto the public beach to watch the sunset.

Very few people were on the beach, which was a shame because the sunset was beautiful that night.

Not so much colorful, as dramatic.

Astonishing in its intensity.

As we watched the sun setting we noticed one person kayaking in the Gulf of Mexico.

The kayaker, who was only a tiny speck compared to the ocean, added perspective to the scene.

Peaceful.  Balanced.  Confident.

Moving forward with ease.

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Happy Leap Day Everyone 🙂