Friendship

Let’s Laugh: Three Absurd Conversations + Something I Cannot Explain

/ Ally Bean / 243 Comments

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Three Absurd Conversations

ONE – Out to dinner with friends. The conversation turns to ice cream. The questions: 1) What is your favorite flavor? and 2) Where do you buy it?

My answer: Spumoni is my favorite flavor but it’s difficult to find, usually only around Christmas, and never for sale in Kroger where I shop most of the time. Seems like they could have it.

A friend, a lawyer, pipes up and jokingly says: It’s not Kroger’s fault for not having spumoni, it’s your fault for liking a weird flavor of ice cream.

Immediately everyone at the table agrees with him and starts laughing at me while I’m forced to admit that he could be right. He might have a point.

You like vanilla, it’s everywhere, no problem.

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TWO – Overheard while shopping in Dillard’s. An older couple, mid-80s, are in the women’s clothing section near where I’m standing. She’s looking at blouses, he’s looking bored. She pulls a blouse on a hanger off the rack and tells him she’s going to try it on.

He seems surprised and says: I thought we were just horsing around here. Then he makes a low guttural snorting sound like a horse whinny while attempting to prance like a horse.

She looks over at me, rolls her eyes, then turns to him and says: Slow down there Roy Rogers, hold your horses, and wait here.

This spunky reply made me laugh out loud and him smile like the ornery cute kid he probably used to be.

Oh, to age with your sense of humor intact.

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THREE – Said by the husband after he plugged in the heating pad so I could lay on the bed with it on my aching thigh.

Him: You’re not supposed to sleep with the electric heating pad on, so once you fall asleep turn it off.

Me staring at him: Think about what you said.

Him: Really, that’s what the warning on the tag says.

Me: Keep thinking.  

Him after long pause: OH… I see the problem.

Which confirmed that he still understands logic, but had me in stitches laughing at and thankfully with someone who rarely says anything illogical.

Even the brainy ones can be dim. 

Something I Cannot Explain

This isn’t my car.

Mid-afternoon I pulled into a parking lot adjacent to a city park and found this car *parked* [abandoned?] in this awkward way.

There were no indications that the car had hit any other vehicle, stopping midway while pulling into the parking space.

After I parked down the way and walked back by the car I saw that the inside of the car was tidy. There wasn’t a note on the windshield explaining what had happened. There was no police citation on it.

It was just a half-parked car in the way in a public parking lot with nary a soul around to explain the situation.

Any idea what was going on here?

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Jane! Stop This Crazy Thing! 7 Random Things To Tell You On A Wednesday

/ Ally Bean / 268 Comments

The Jetsons predicted the future more accurately than we ever could have imagined.

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1. I am nuts.  I woke up remembering that in my dream an arrogant man told me I was a condescending cannoli. Where the heck did that thought come from? It makes no sense, I’m not a cannoli. However I admit I am tempted to start a new blog with that title, just to see who’d show up to read what a haughty Italian pastry had to say.

2. I am delighted.  I stumbled over this website that features 25 rarely seen photos from The Sound of Music film set. If you are able to look at these photos, snapped in Austria, and not start singing “Doe, a deer, a female deer | Ray,  a drop of golden sun…” then you’re AI, not human.

3. I am laughing.  I follow a few humorous accounts on Instagram [that I believe might also be available on other social media]. I’m entertained by: Call Me Kristen Marie who gently mocks her Boomer mother; Peaches ‘n Diesel who does a brilliant send-up of the fashion industry; and Lisa Pedace whose uptight sketch comedy characters are spot on. Never say I don’t share the best with you, my bloggy friends.

4. I am encouraged.  Over the years I’ve read numerous articles and books about how to be a better writer. Usually I shrug off the advice, not because I’m so accomplished but because the advice seems dithery and vague. However this article, a simple list of 40 things, spoke to me because it got to the point and as such may help me.

5. I am flummoxed.  A friend whose opinion I respect told me that she’s noticed that I’m less snarky than I used to be, that I seem to be, of all things, nicer than I once was. Putting aside the fact that I dislike the word “nice” I’m sorry to say I fear she’s right. I don’t know how this has happened, but I feel I owe an apology to anyone who started reading this blog because I was sassy.

6. I am watching.  We started watching Death and Other Details on Hulu. It isn’t the most compelling TV mystery show I’ve ever seen [Endeavour, the prequel to the Inspector Morse series, might win that prize], but if you like brain candy and enjoy seeing lavish sets, in this case on a Mediterrean ocean liner, this could be the show for you.

7.  I am agreeing.  As we slowly make our way to the end of winter here in the northern hemisphere, my soul is tired and this idea resonates loudly with me. Nature. Magic. Truth. Yes, more of these, please.

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QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

So what do you think, have I gotten too nice here? Should I lean into being more snarky again, bring back the sass? Go full on condescending cannoli, whatever that means?

Do you like to watch movies that are musicals? Do you watch TV mystery series? If so to either question, what do you recommend we watch next?

In general do you appreciate writing advice? It’s everywhere anymore with about a zillion books/websites available on the topic, yet I still wonder if all advice is equally useful or if some of it is self-absorbed gibberish?

How’s your soul doing? Need a little pick-me-up like mine?

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Because You Asked: Threads Is, Among Other Things, A Conundrum

/ Ally Bean / 224 Comments

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Boom! Yep, that’s my number.

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WHY ARE YOU ON THREADS, THEY ASK

A few people irl and online have asked me about my experiences on Threads so I’ll answer here. In case you’re unfamiliar with it, Threads is Facebook/Meta’s version of Twitter/X.

I was there on Day One clocking in at 20,708,590 out of over 100 million people who joined worldwide on that day, July 6, 2023. Find me on Threads by clicking HERE.

And yes I know many friends and gentle readers think I’m loony, question my sanity, to have even joined in a new social media… but hear me out. I have my reasons.

I’m a curious person, a social scientist at heart, who saw an opportunity to be part of a social media from the beginning. Even though I’ve been on many social media over the decades* I’ve never had this option before so I jumped in.

Also, not to put too fine a point on it, I’m on Threads so you don’t have to be. Yes, I’m living the experience for all of us here in this little corner of blogland. You may thank me in the comments below!

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Social media active users indicating the most popular places to be †

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WHO IS THERE WITH YOU ON THREADS, THEY WONDER

This, of course, is a good question that I’ll field by first saying the following brief summary: a bunch of nice enough people**.

Then I’ll break down some specifics because that is what I believe people want to know. For me, after 7 months of checking in every few days and posting something when I am there as well as leaving wordy comments for others, I have a whopping 281 followers.

✅ One follower I know in real life.

✅ Six followers are current bloggers who like me are attempting to utilize Threads by showing up every so often and joining in. Click on the name to go to their Threads account, on their blog name to visit their blog:

✅ Some of my followers are current bloggers who are there in name only. OR, in a total surprise, a few former bloggers I knew a decade ago showed up, one even saying: “so you’re still here.” I do not know how to take that.

✅ Many, maybe most, of my followers are people who I’ve connected with on Instagram.

✅ I also have followers who are new-to-me and THAT makes me happy, giving me some hope for Threads.

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Information is my love language, but I my not be the norm †

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What Is The Purpose of Threads As You See It, They Inquire

Yes, again a good question that I will succinctly answer with my take and then add a famous quote that summarizes lyrically how I think about Threads.

My Take – Threads serves no discernible purpose beyond being a pleasant pretty distraction.

A Famous Quote – From John Lennon’s song Nobody Told Me: “There’s always something cooking and nothing in the pot.” 

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On Twitter by creating my own personal lists as seen here I was able to keep track of people, something I cannot do on Threads.

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And Finally Why Is Threads A Conundrum, Please Explain

I have three reasons why I believe Threads is a conundrum, a word that can mean a riddle, or a puzzle, or a poser even.

1) The thing about Threads is there is no center to it to draw people to a communal “What’s Happening” section or a Writing Prompt or a Weekly Topical Challenge. It’s all random all the time.

Hence, a riddle.

2) When you show up and look at your “Following” tab the algorithm shows you who it wants you to see and because, unlike Twitter, Threads doesn’t allow you create lists of who you follow, you cannot efficiently follow anyone. Thus the algorithm impedes connections.

Hence, a puzzle.

3) Threads is the only social media wherein I’ve seen so many people, so often, not reply even with a LIKE, to wordy comments left for them. Is Threads not notifying them that someone paid attention to them? That’s the only kind explanation*** I can think of which makes me question if Threads is really meant to be a viable social media at all.

Hence, a poser. 

~ THE END ~

* Since the late 1990s I’ve been involved in Geocities, Myspace, Facebook, Pinterest, Flickr, Twitter, 43 Things, Tumblr, Mastodon, and now Threads. I’ve seen things, kids… oh yes I have. 😣

** The only sort of rude behavior I’ve encountered was a man who tried to start a fight with me because I said something to the effect of, and try not to be offended, that adults should behave like grown-ups when interacting with other adults rather than behaving like they were in a child/adult relationship. He took umbrage with that idea… perhaps forever wanting to be a child? 🤷‍♀️

*** A less kind explanation would be that I’m not wanted so I’ve been intentionally ignored in the hope that I’ll go away. Which could happen. 🤔

† Source: “As Facebook turns 20, politics is out; impersonal video feeds are in” via The Economist [probably not behind a paywall, but I can’t tell for sure]

Hokey Smokes: 7 Things To Tell You On The Last Thursday In October

/ Ally Bean / 274 Comments

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1 – I am encouraged.  The health advice in this article is fun and puts aging into perspective without making a person, such as myself, feel angsty. Just so you know, apropos of the article, I do eat beans and I can scratch my own back. So there.

2 – I am disheartened.  This region of the USA is currently experiencing Boxwood Armageddon. To put this in pragmatic terms, we have 25 boxwood bushes on this property: 11 are dead, 4 are ailing, and 10 are hanging in there. It’s going to be expensive to remove the dead/ailing ones then replace them with something, probably not boxwoods.

3 – I am delighted.  I’ve started watching a new TV mystery series about a full-time caterer/part-time sleuth. The show, that is on Acorn, is called Mrs Sidhu Investigates. I want Suki Sidhu to be my bff, she is smart and captivating with a good sense of humor.

4 – I am unclear.  In regard to a conversation with a friend irl I’m wondering if how I define the word “overshare” is how anyone else does. To wit, does it mean: 1) talk about topics that you deem to be improper;  2) talk in depth about a topic; OR 3) talk too frequently about whatever interests you in the moment?

5 – I am thrilled!!!  This article [HERE] explains that: “Around 700 years ago, in the small town of Urbisaglia in central Italy, the scholar and poet Alpoleio felt moved to introduce a punctuation mark that flagged up emotion rather than simply syntax.” I don’t use exclamation points often, but when I do I mean it what I’m saying.

6 – I am beguiled.  While I like Jell-O, which I know can be a controversial admission, I’ve never made a mold of it… then made the mold wiggle/wobble… for snorts and giggles. Go HERE & HERE & HERE to see what I’m talking about.

7 – I am supportive.  DISC is a way to explain your personality based on self-assessment. In the DISC paradigm there are four quadrants: Drive, Influence, Clarity, Support. I took a short free online quiz [HERE] the results of which told me I am “helpful and shows care for others.” Okie dokie, then.

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QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

If you are trying to live a healthier lifestyle, yet find yourself slip sliding away, do articles like the one I linked to help you get back in the groove?

When thinking about how you define “overshare” do you lean into the idea that it means: inappropriate, pedantic, or chatty?

Tell me [us] how you really feel about Jell-O. Everyone has an opinion!!!

If you take the online quiz to determine your DISC personality, who are you? Does it ring true with who you think you are?

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