Project Hummer Is Not Going Well

June 17, 2014November 19, 2015 / Ally Bean / 46 Comments

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I’m sad to report that my grand plan for turning one corner of our deck into a small hummingbird garden/feeding station is not going well. It’s not for lack of cuteness, I tell you.

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Here’s what I’ve done.

√ 3 pots of annuals: 1 dark red geranium, 1 hot pink calibrachoa, 1 fuchsia portulaca

√ 1 sturdy wrought iron shepherd’s hook attached to side of deck

√ 1 hand-painted hummingbird feeder with red plastic pretend flowers that allow the hummers to drink, but thwart the bees

√ 1 32 oz. hummingbird nectar concentrate, chilled in our fridge, then mixed with fresh water using an old Pyrex glass measuring cup to insure proper proportions

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No, it’s not me that’s causing trouble with the hummers. It is, I’m sad to report, Fuzzy the Squirrel and his partner in crime, Khaki, who are causing Project Hummer to fail.

Apparently the sweet nectar in the pretty feeder is too much for them to pass up, so they’ve found a way to tilt the feeder on its side allowing the sweet nectar to dribble onto the ground below where they can enjoy it at their squirrel-y leisure.

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This means that until I figure out a way to keep Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid of squirrels away from the hummingbird feeder, my grand plan is on hold. And all those amazing little hummers who live behind our house in the woods will have to feed themselves on the 22 pink or red or peach rose bushes that surround our house.

The little birds will survive, but I won’t get the fun of seeing them drink up each day… all because two sneaky, uncooperative squirrels have found the best nectar bar in town. Humph.

Fuzzy The Squirrel Finds A New Home In Tree #3479

March 11, 2014February 24, 2015 / Ally Bean / 13 Comments

{Subtitled: What the heck is that little bugger doing now?}

ONCE UPON A TIME…

The Lady of the Suburban House looked out her kitchen window while she was drinking her morning coffee. In a strange moment of self-awareness, she realized that she was not alone. What she saw was her frenemy, a squirrel, who last year she had named Fuzzy. [More about this squirrel here.]

Say “hello” to Fuzzy.

Watching Fuzzy frolic outside in the trees that form the forest that is The Lady of the Suburban House’s backyard, The Lady of the Suburban House realized that Fuzzy, who never seems to leave her property lines regardless of the weather, had found a home of his own in a large tree back there.

Look! It’s the front door to Fuzzy’s home.

Staring closely at this large tree, The Lady of the Suburban House noticed something that she had not noticed before. Perhaps she had not been caffeinated enough when she looked out the kitchen window previously. And this is what she saw: the large tree had a number on it.

Here is tree #3479.

The Lady of the Suburban House could not explain why this tree was numbered. It seemed peculiar to her, but then many things of late had seemed odd to The Lady of the Suburban House, so she shrugged.

This is Fuzzy’s tree.

And then she came to the only logical conclusion that one could come to: Fuzzy had put the number there on the large tree so that his friends and relatives would know where he lived in the forest, that is The Lady of the Suburban House’s backyard.

~ THE END ~

When A Squirrel Takes A Fancy To Your House, This Can Happen

July 31, 2013February 24, 2015 / Ally Bean / 27 Comments

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He might decide one morning to catch a few rays on the deck.

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I’M NOT GOING TO bother to tell you ALL the back story of The Squirrel Wars that go on here in this subdivision. Suffice to say, in the past, we had to hire someone, with humane traps, to remove all the little chirpy baby squirrels and their parents from our attic/roof. Then we had to get someone else to repair our roof. This kind-hearted approach succeeded in keeping the squirrels away from our property until this year.

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He might decide one evening to dine al fresco leaving the remains of his dinner for a fly.

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ON THE OTHER HAND our former next door neighbor, a retired Army colonel, decided on a more aggressive way to deal with the squirrels. He hired someone to put spring-loaded traps in the gutters where the squirrels liked to nest. Then when a squirrel stepped on the trap, the squirrel was speared through the heart, thrown over the edge of the gutter and left to dangle to death under the gutter from a rope attached to the base of the trap.

It was gruesome– and ultimately not so effective. The squirrels immediately took revenge on the colonel’s house, bird feeders and tree branches causing him more trouble than you can imagine. While I’m not a fan of squirrels, I did think the colonel’s approach was a bit [shall we say?] extreme and will admit that I enjoyed watching him lose to a bunch of squirrels.

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He might decide one afternoon to take a siesta in the pot behind the zinnias.

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BUT THAT WAS THEN and this is now. Which is to say that over the last month one lone squirrel has taken a fancy to our house. I’m not thrilled by it, but as we are past breeding season and there is no indication of a wife and family anywhere in the house, I’m trying to live in peaceful harmony with this sun-loving, tomato-eating, pot-snoozing, gutter-lounging squirrel who insists on calling our house his home.

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