Grumbling

Day 5 Of My Self-Imposed So-Called Hermitic Existence

/ Ally Bean / 29 Comments

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[I’m not sure, but I think that Ms. Bean has finally cracked.]

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I’ve not left the house since Monday.  What with the white death and sub-zero temps outside I’ve chosen to become a hermit.  Sort of.

  • I see + talk with my husband every morning and night, so that would be un-hermetic.  Hermits don’t chat.  
  • I have no religious principles to underpin my decision to become a hermit, so that would be un-hermetic.  Hermits aren’t motivated by extreme weather avoidance.
  • I’ve groomed myself and have worn cheerful, colorful jammie bottoms + turtlenecks + Polartec tops, so that would be un-hermetic.  Hermits don’t look cute regardless of situation.

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[Do you suppose that Ms. Bean has become loopy and wordy because of lack of sleep?]

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I didn’t sleep well last night.  The weather forecasters predicted a low of -12ºF which we did experience.  Snuggled under the comforters I should have snoozed better, but the electricity went off in the whole subdivision.

I don’t know how long it was off, but when I awakened mid-snooze and realized that it was off, I trudged downstairs to open the cabinet doors under the kitchen sink so that the pipes wouldn’t freeze.  Then I checked the house temperature on the thermostat, which has a back-up battery.

It was 55ºF inside.

After that I went back upstairs, woke up Zen-Den to tell him the news, and tried to go back to sleep.  Sleep did not happen.  Operation Fret, however, ramped up and took over my mind.

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[Do you think that Ms. Bean, poor frozen darling, will make it through another day at home by herself?]

~ • ~

I’m happy to report that the heat is on again.  I don’t know when it came back on, but it did.  We suburban hermits don’t need to know all the details about what keeps us warm.  We prefer to allow some mysteries to stay mysteries.

I’m sure that in years to come when I look back upon this week of frigid temps, boring days and heating mysteries, my mind will have turned it all into a positive memory, explained in glowing terms of self-reliance, creativity and personal growth.

Or some such nonsense.

But sitting here today, faced with another bitterly cold day of ho-hum, I’m more inclined to feel a need to whine about everything and everyone.  To discard any notions of bettering myself.  And to give in to the grumpy, enjoying it for all that it is.  *humph*

When Politeness Makes Me Uncomfortable

/ Ally Bean / 17 Comments

How hypocritical is it to thank someone for a kindness while simultaneously deciding to avoid him or her in the future?

This, I suspect, is an introvert problem.

Every so often I find myself in this situation with people who are nice enough people, but have values and ideas that don’t jive with my own.  Not outright bad people, mind you.  But people who wear me out with their limited thinking or inconsistent behavior.  Or incessant chatter.

Just too much, too much.

Each time I thank one of these people for his or her contribution/generosity/concern in regard to something or other, I feel uncomfortable.  This is because I know that in order to stay true to myself and my goals, I have no intention of maintaining a relationship with any of these people in the future.

That they are on the way out of my life.

However there I am, playing nice-y nice, and feeling like the pretense of each situation is an itchy old wool winter coat that I’ve outgrown, but have yet to give to Goodwill.  Leading me to conclude that what I’d describe as hypocrisy, like wool, makes me squirm, even when it is of my own doing.

How To Make “Not Coffee” In The Morning

/ Ally Bean / 25 Comments

File this one under… MARITAL BLISS.

1)  DO NOT set up your electric coffee maker, which has a delayed brewing option, the night before you want your coffee.  Instead, go to kitchen in morning while still groggy and make coffee.

2)  TURN ON overhead lights in kitchen using dimmer switch to provide a minimum of light onto counter.  Pull machine out from under cabinet while confirming that brew basket, glass carafe and plastic lid appear to be in their proper places.

3)  PLACE PAPER filter into brew basket, measure water + ground coffee, then place each into its proper compartment within electric coffee maker.  Turn on machine and wait for brewed coffee to drip into glass carafe.

4)  HEAR BEEPS that tell you that your coffee is ready and with favorite mug in hand pour yourself some coffee from what seems to be an unusually light carafe.

5)  DO NOT stop to think about why this carafe is so light and that there might be a problem here as you take your first sip of coffee.

6)  SPIT OUT “not coffee” into sink as husband enters kitchen.  Describe foul “not coffee” beverage using colorful language, thereby piquing husband’s interest.

7)  TURN ON overhead lights in kitchen to full wattage while examining electric coffee maker from whence the “not coffee” came.  Snarl loudly and turn to husband who is trying to make quiet exit from kitchen.

8)  ACCUSE SPOUSE of incompetence while putting away clean dishes night before.  Mention that just laying plastic lid on top of carafe will not work.  Reinforce idea that securing plastic lid onto glass carafe is what allows coffee to flow from brew basket into carafe because lid pushes spring on bottom of brew basket open.

9)  NOTICE SPOUSE looking guilty and explaining that it’s all his fault.  Agree wholeheartedly while cleaning out sludge formed by coffee grounds and hot water trapped in brew basket.  Try to be angry with husband but decide that it’s not worth the effort.

10) DECREE THAT there is a new house rule.  Specifically, henceforth and ever after the glass coffee carafe will always have plastic lid secured on top of it before placing carafe into electric coffee maker… on penalty of no access to any TV remote control for a month.  Capiche?

Then The Rain Gutter Fell Off The Back Of The House

/ Ally Bean / 21 Comments

DSCN4188

And Zen-Den* said: “It’s all good.”

And K the House Painter** said: “It’s all good.”

And I*** said: “NOOOOOOO!!!”

• • •

* He’s nuts, of course.  But he did manage to get the sales guy from the gutter company to come over to the house;  talk with the sales guy as he evaluated the damage caused by the heavy rain & high winds that ripped the gutter off of the house;  and sign a contract to have this company replace the fallen gutter.

Good job, Z-D.

**  He’s wise, of course.  First of all he’s already been to the house to cover the damaged gutter with tarps and received cash for his efforts.  Secondly, he’ll be the first person I call after the new gutter is in place because the new gutter & new wood will need to be painted the color of the house.

Once more.

***  I’m ticked, of course.  Because for the first time in years the exterior of our house is all the same color.  Plus, do you realize how much moolah this will cost us?  Hint: a 3-day roundtrip luxury resort getaway to Montego Bay, Jamaica, costs less than this will.  Hint: a new Apple 13-inch MacBook Pro with the latest operating system, Yosemite, costs less than this will.  So what am I telling you here?

Expensive.