File this one under… MARITAL BLISS.
1) DO NOT set up your electric coffee maker, which has a delayed brewing option, the night before you want your coffee. Instead, go to kitchen in morning while still groggy and make coffee.
2) TURN ON overhead lights in kitchen using dimmer switch to provide a minimum of light onto counter. Pull machine out from under cabinet while confirming that brew basket, glass carafe and plastic lid appear to be in their proper places.
3) PLACE PAPER filter into brew basket, measure water + ground coffee, then place each into its proper compartment within electric coffee maker. Turn on machine and wait for brewed coffee to drip into glass carafe.
4) HEAR BEEPS that tell you that your coffee is ready and with favorite mug in hand pour yourself some coffee from what seems to be an unusually light carafe.
5) DO NOT stop to think about why this carafe is so light and that there might be a problem here as you take your first sip of coffee.
6) SPIT OUT “not coffee” into sink as husband enters kitchen. Describe foul “not coffee” beverage using colorful language, thereby piquing husband’s interest.
7) TURN ON overhead lights in kitchen to full wattage while examining electric coffee maker from whence the “not coffee” came. Snarl loudly and turn to husband who is trying to make quiet exit from kitchen.
8) ACCUSE SPOUSE of incompetence while putting away clean dishes night before. Mention that just laying plastic lid on top of carafe will not work. Reinforce idea that securing plastic lid onto glass carafe is what allows coffee to flow from brew basket into carafe because lid pushes spring on bottom of brew basket open.
9) NOTICE SPOUSE looking guilty and explaining that it’s all his fault. Agree wholeheartedly while cleaning out sludge formed by coffee grounds and hot water trapped in brew basket. Try to be angry with husband but decide that it’s not worth the effort.
10) DECREE THAT there is a new house rule. Specifically, henceforth and ever after the glass coffee carafe will always have plastic lid secured on top of it before placing carafe into electric coffee maker… on penalty of no access to any TV remote control for a month. Capiche?