It’s not easy to pull the wool over Zen-Den’s eyes. He’s smart and lawyerly and hyper-aware of liars. But for a moment I had him going, so I have to share it here. For posterity. For snorts and giggles.
I. In the photo above the color of nail polish you see on my toenails is unusual for me. I usually go clear/pale OR dark/bright. I rarely wear halfway/medium colors like you see above.
II. OPI nail polishes, which I prefer, are grouped into cleverly named collections. For instance a pale pink called Bubble Bath might be found in the Always Bare For You Collection. A bright pink red called California Raspberry might be found in the Fan Faves Collection. [These particular colors are so old that they’re no longer featured in any collection, but I’m making a point here so please go with it.]
III. After wearing Bubble Bath for a few weeks I decided it was too blah for me. No character. So on a whim as a way of zhooshing it up, I mixed a bit of California Raspberry with it. I figured I’d create a new medium color. And I did. That’s what you see on my toenails in the photo.
THE CON *tee-hee*
Z-D came home from work the other night and noticed the pink color of my fresh pedicure. He looked down at my feet and asked me if I had a rash on my toes. I instantly realized that he thought my created shade of pink was calamine lotion.
So I told him: “No, that’s a new shade of nail polish. It’s called Chicken Pox Pink, part of OPI’s new Childhood Illnesses Collection.”
He said nothing, just kept staring at my toes.
So I continued: “There are other colors in the collection, like Measles Mauve and Flu Shot Fuchsia.”
With a totally confused look on his face he said: “There’s a nail polish collection called Childhood Illnesses?”
I said: “Oh yes, there’s Bronchitis Burgundy and…”
He interrupted: “THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS THIS COLLECTION.”
But I kept going: “Boo-Boo Bunny Beige and…”
He said: “You’re making this up.”
I said: “Oh no, this is for real. There’s Drippy Nose Rose and…”
At which point Zen-Den, shaking his head in disbelief and laughing, wandered away from the conversation, as if I might not be telling the truth. Can you imagine that?