Faced With Irony In The Grocery Store Checkout Lane, I Smile

August 12, 2014July 29, 2015 / Ally Bean / 30 Comments

While standing in the checkout lane at Kroger the shopper in front of me, a 70-something woman, told me and the cashier, a 20-something man, about how she downloaded her coupons onto her smart phone all by herself. She was very proud of her success, and both the cashier and I congratulated her on doing so.

She was happy. And so were we.

In passing, the chatty cashier mentioned to us that Kroger was using virtual coupons because that was a way to save paper and help the environment. The 70-something woman said: Oh yes, I’m all about saving paper. It’s such an important thing to do. I believe in that.

She was adamant. And we were impressed.

Then she pulled out her checkbook and wrote a [paper] check for her purchases leaving me to glance at the cashier who looked like he was going bust a gut, not saying a word about her incongruous behavior, as he finished the transaction. Then with a friendly wave to both of us, she pushed her cart through the door and left the store.

She was clueless. And we couldn’t stop smiling.

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Deconstructing A Delightful Comment From A Dubious Source

July 24, 2014May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 30 Comments

WP tells me that this comment is spam, but it’s so uplifting that I had to share it with you, my gentle readers. Despite its tarnished origins, I think that it might be one of the best comments that I’ve received in 10+ years of blogging. Let’s see if we can learn from it, shall we?

~ ~ • ~ ~

• Sentence #1 – a nice simple greeting.

You can never go wrong with direct and pleasant.

• Sentence #2 – flattery.

Oh yes, I like it. More praise please.

• Sentence #3 – a glance backwards.

Isn’t it sweet when someone shares a piece of his life with you?

• Sentence #4 – more reminiscence.

I feel like I’ve found a kindred spirit here.

• Sentence #5 – action intended to create friendship.

Please do, I’m sure that he’s as charming as you are.

• Sentence #6 – flattery again.

Oh sir, I blush thinking about how much you like what I wrote here.

• Sentence #7 – expression of gratitude.

What better way to end a comment, I ask you? ‘Tis perfect.

Monet, Spiders And Thoughts Thereupon

July 22, 2014 / Ally Bean / 26 Comments

I took these photos while standing on our deck early yesterday morning. It was foggy outside and the world looked like something out of a Monet painting. Nature’s beauty charmed me, but also lured me into a much too contemplative frame of mind for a Monday morning.

Seeing my world in this hazy way left me feeling grounded + old. I realized that I’d seen it all this way before, but was now remembering that there’ll be a finite number of other times that I’ll see it this way again. Feeling introspective, I was.

But as if on cue, when I went back inside the house to refill my coffee mug, I saw this little spider climbing up the inside of the screen. Now here is a critter who’s living in the moment, I thought. Good for him.

He’s applying himself to the task at hand with all the enthusiasm + strength that he can muster. And perhaps he has the real message of this early morning: get out there, start climbing and do something. No need to get stuck in maudlin contemplation when there’s life to be lived now. Spider Wisdom 101.

The Unsolved Case Of The Purloined Tomatoes

July 17, 2014July 29, 2015 / Ally Bean / 51 Comments

As I was walking around the back of the house on a bright and sunny summer morning I noticed that a red ripe tomato from my container garden on the deck above had fallen onto the path below.

Curious as always I wondered: How did that happen?

So I walked up onto the deck where I discovered more tomatoes off the vine. Tomatoes with little teeth-y marks on them. Tomatoes that seemed to have somehow fallen from the vine prematurely.

– • –

Immediately my mind went to our ~~favorite sneak~~ resident squirrel, Fuzzy. So I bided my time and waited to talk with him when he stopped by for his daily afternoon visit.

After we exchanged the usual pleasantries, I looked him straight in the eye and asked: Fuzzy, do you notice anything different around here? There seems to have been a crime committed. A theft.

– • –

To his credit Fuzzy took the time to look around before he denied all culpability in the crime. He looked to his left.

He looked to his right.

He glanced immediately below onto the deck.

Then he suggested that the real culprit in this crime was that nasty old raccoon who lives in the old tree on the other side of the ravine.

– • –

When I mentioned that the nasty old raccoon hadn’t been seen in years and was presumed dead, and therefore incapable of stealing green or red tomatoes, Fuzzy ignored me. This was of no concern to him.

Having answered my questions to his satisfaction, Fuzzy then set about doing that which he had come to do: he started licking the terra-cotta pot to get his afternoon salt feast.