Humor

No Razzamatazz Here

/ Ally Bean / 14 Comments
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Today, instead of talking about pulse-pounding razzamatazz, I’m going to talk about the exact opposite, yawn-worthy dullness.

This current dullness has manifested itself in what I believe is a most ridiculous way.  You see, here at Chez Bean we are experiencing a dearth of twisty ties.  Yes, we have almost run out of those little wire doodads that you use to close plastic bags.

In fact, we only have FOUR unused twisty ties in the house.  That’s it.

We used to have about four hundred thousand million of those things floating around in various kitchen drawers.  But now they are so rare [and precious] that I even know what color they are: 3 beige and 1 orange.  I watch over them as if they were made of gold.

This is sad.  And dull.  And would not be worthy of note here except that it allows me to ask you, gentle readers, a question:

what kind of yawn-worthy dullness are you currently dealing with in your life?

I’ve fessed up.  Now it’s your turn to do the same.  In the comments below.  If you please.

Sure, You Can Do That

/ Ally Bean / 19 Comments

“In vino veritas est.” ~ Pliny the Elder

“God bless the honest, for they shall make my days more entertaining.” ~ Ally Bean

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As I have mentioned here before I am a good listener.  I am also the “go to” person in my social group for how to start a blog.  And, as you have probably already figured out, I get tickled by the darnedest things.  To wit, the following real life vignette.

An acquaintance, who I see about once every 3 years or so, asked me about how to start a blog.  We were at a fancy reception and there was much wine being served.

I told her my standard response* to her question.  She seemed intrigued and started asking a bunch more questions about blogging.  In the flow of the conversation I told her that I thought that she’d be good at blogging because she is smart and articulate.  [Which all bloggers are, right?]

Of course, I wanted to know what she thought that she might be blogging about, so I asked her.  Knowing a little bit about her I figured that she’d say something like: my kids, my love of interior design, tips on antiquing, tips on cooking, my conservative political opinions.  Subjects that I know she cares about.

But what I did not expect her to say is the most unanticipated, yet delightful, reason for blogging that anyone has told me to date.  She told me that she didn’t care what subject she wrote about.  That didn’t matter to her at all.  No, what she wanted to do in her blog was to: Tell people what to do.  Her way.  So that they wouldn’t bug her with their stupidness any more.

Now this is an approach to blogging and a point of view, which you have to admit, is both authentic and could be fun to read about, subjects be damned.  Plus, I suspect, that in our heart of hearts there isn’t one blogger [or person] out there who hasn’t thought the same thing, but just never had the amount of wine necessary the gumption to say it.  So clearly.  And so loudly.

~ • ~

*  When you start a blog you need to consider three basic questions.

  1. Do you have something to say?  Can you say it in a way that other people will understand? Hmm?
  2. Where will you put your blog?  That is, when you decide on your platform will you pay money for it or will it be free?
  3. Will you commit to showing up to your blog on a regular basis?  If not, you’ll tick off your friends and readers. And you don’t want that, do you?

In Which I Decide On A Word Of The Year. Finally.

/ Ally Bean / 18 Comments

I’ve been a laggard about choosing my one word of the year.  This is because I’ve found myself caught up in the hype of picking the perfect word.  A word that has a large overarching theme.  A word that is unique, yet applicable to all facets of my life.  A word that will make me kick ass in 2013.

I don’t know why it is that this year I got thinking like this, but I did.  Even talking about it here I have to laugh at myself.  I guess all I can tell you is that the gods of external validation invaded my brain and brought various forms of doubt with them.  Hence, my inability to pick a word.

However, that is all behind me now.  You see, I had a serious chat with myself and managed to decide on a word that I think will satisfy both my pragmatic thinking side and my holistic feeling side.  The conversation, which may or may not have been out loud, went something like this:

Pragmatic Ally:  It’s just a word, Ms. Bean.  Get over yourself and pick one.

Holistic Ally:  But I don’t know, for sure, if I’ll pick the best one.  I need a sign of some sort so I’ll know that it is the. right. word.

Pragmatic Ally:  Just do it.  There’s your sign.  Nike said so.

Holistic Ally:  Okay, fine.  Balance.  I pick BALANCE.  Like in New Balance.  Which I like much better than Nike with their stupid swoosh.

Pragmatic Ally:  Great choice.  Well done.  Now get out there and kick some ass!

Holistic Ally:  But I don’t know how.  How do ‘ya do that?

Pragmatic Ally:  *sigh* Do I have to do everything for you?  You start where you are right now, do your best and see where it goes.  That’s how you do it.

Holistic Ally:  Oh yeah.  That’d work.  Good idea.  Thanks.

Pragmatic Ally:  No problem.

… And so it came to be that my one word for 2013 will be BALANCE.

Back When TV Was Truly Refined

/ Ally Bean / 10 Comments

… After yesterday’s constant stream of sad news I’m feeling a bit nostalgic today.  

This is funny and sweet.  It’s a reminder of how smart + delightful television used to be.  So. Very. Calm.

I miss watching TV shows that were in black & white.  I miss seeing TV shows that don’t *flash* and *bang* all over the place.  I miss being entertained by TV shows that don’t try to impress me with their super hipness.

But mostly I miss the kind of innocence that allowed a pleasant “nobody” to outsmart a panel of curious “somebodies” by merely being herself.  With a smile.

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[H/T to Maria Popova at Brain Pickings.  More info + other video clips here.]

[Unrelated to this video, but interesting to know, the contestant later wrote a memoir titled Look Back and Laugh.  Writers are everywhere, aren’t they?]