Humor

Why Krill? Why Me? Why?

/ Ally Bean / 21 Comments

Here is what was in my mind when I woke up this morning:

DON’T BE KRILL.

What does this mean?  I can’t figure out why I was thinking this, but that hasn’t stopped me from spending a good part of this morning ruminating about it.  Because, as you know, I loves me a good rumination.

[Plus it’s NaBloPoMo– the time of year when any & all happenings are potential blog post fodder.]

# # #

After rising, I told Zen-Den what was in my mind at 6:00 a.m. when his alarm clock, set on a Mexican music station, jolted us awake.

Being a lawyer he started to cross-examine my testimony.

  • It was the word KRILL?  Not the word SHRILL?  Or PILL?   
  • Was there a whale involved?  Because you know whales eat krill?
  • What were you thinking about last night when you went to sleep?  Fish?

[Immediately, I regretted my decision to share with him.  Can you understand why?  Are those way too many questions for non-caffeinated me in the morning?  The answer is YES.]

# # #

So what do you think, gentle readers?  Why was krill on my brain when I woke up this morning?  Explain it to me.  Tell me a story from your life.  Make something up.  Humor me.  Just give me a reason why it was there… and then I’ll be happy.

[Thank you in advance for your insightful comments on this topic of vital importance!]

Hello NaBloPoMo: A Considered Approach To Participation In Said

/ Ally Bean / 18 Comments

“Good news of long-awaited event will soon arrive.”

~ first Chinese fortune cookie that I opened at lunch

“Relax and enjoy yourself.”

~ second Chinese fortune cookie that I opened at lunch

– • –

It’s that time of year again.  The time of year when bloggers everywhere around the world decided whether or not to participate in NaBloPoMo.

This year, thanks to a change in my November travel plans, I’ll be doing NaBloPoMo again.  But this year, unlike last year, I’m going to participate in a lighter way.  A more “just throw something out there” sort of way.

Because while I enjoyed the amazing sense of accomplishment that came from posting every fricking day for one month, I did not enjoy the stress of focusing on the details of my life every fricking day for one month.

So, I’m going to use some quotes + photos + flapdoodle as filler.  Kind of like those shiny glass gems that you put in the bottom of a hurricane lamp so that the candle inside it will stay in place & continue to burn, while not falling over & catching the house on fire.

That’s how I’m going to do NaBloPoMo this year.  And you?

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NaBloPoMo November 2012

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Sometimes These Quizzes Are Accurate, Says The Ranch House

/ Ally Bean / 16 Comments

•  I took the What’s Your Architectural Personality? quiz.  My results said:

You’re solid as a Ranch house!

Simple and suburban by nature, you exude a cozy warmth that lets people know you don’t mind if they leave their shoes on in the house — it’s only carpet, after all! Family and friends are important to you, and you love having them stop by. While not overly fussy or vain, you care about your looks — but honestly, you’re happiest in sweatpants. To you, life isn’t measured in the goods you’ve acquired, but in time well spent.

•  My results linked to a webpage that explained that I am more than likely to be a… [mighty, mighty] brick house:

“Ranch homes tend to be easy to maintain because they’re often made of brick, which requires little fuss, and they’re sparsely adorned.”

•  Oddly accurate, don’t you think?  [Even more interesting when you consider that the last question on the quiz asked which dog I preferred: a basset hound or a golden retriever?  I chose basset hound.  If I had chosen golden retriever, then my architectural personality would have been Greek Revival— which doesn’t seem like me at all even though I like golden retrievers.]

Thirteen Generic Phrases You Will Say Or Hear Today After Last Evening’s Presidential Debate

/ Ally Bean / 14 Comments

Isn’t it time we made politics fun again?  So today, as a way of mitigating the inevitable & incessant opining that happens after every presidential debate, I give you this list to distract & entertain you.  See how many of these phrases you can use or spot as the day wears on.  Bet it’ll be quite a few.

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1)  Well, everyone’s entitled to his or her own opinion, I guess.  [Extra Points – if said by an uptight church lady in a condescending tone of voice]

2)  I really don’t think that he gets it.

3)  He didn’t answer the question!  How could he do that?!!!

4)  Hmmm.  [Extra Points – if said by a practical middle-aged woman in a tired tone of voice]

5)  Why does he HATE ____________ so much???

6)  That’s not what he said!!!

7)  It’s all because of the media, you know?

8)  You gotta be shi%%ing me!  [Extra Points – if said by an older man in a befuddled tone of voice]

9)  What are you talking about??  Just last week he said ____________.

10)  NO WAY!

11)  I dunno what he said.  I fell asleep.

12)  That. Is. Not. True.

13)  We gotta get this guy____________.  [Extra Points – if said by a hyper-partisan person in a defiant tone of voice]

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