I’m Where I Belong As Autumn Begins. And You?

October 2, 2016October 2, 2016 / Ally Bean / 58 Comments

Take the “What State Do You Actually Belong In” quiz. Find out, for sure, where you belong. In case you’re unclear about this. Or you’re just looking for something to do. Which is how I stumbled upon this quiz. Which turned out to be spot on.

• • •

I’ve often thought that if you don’t like autumn around here, then there’s something dead in your soul.

I can understand not liking our gray, snowy winters. They are dreary and can sap your soul, requiring a certain kind of physical and mental strength that not everyone has.

That some years I don’t have. No problem, there. That I get.

But to not like fall here in Ohio?

That seems most peculiar to me, oh Autumn-haters.

• • •

Here’s what I mean.

Autumn is just beginning around here and already the weather has turned cooler, dropping into the 50s at night, and the humidity is gone. I’m sleeping more soundly at night, windows open, and am wearing sweaters, or fleece, during the day.

A more alert me, and you, is good.

The leaves on the trees and bushes have yet to turn colors, but each day a few leaves fall onto the ground, a precursor of what is to come: bold colors, naked trees and clear blue skies by day + dark starry skies by night.

This will be good, just wait and see.

And what about the fact that fall ushers in HallowThanksMasNewYear, a time of endless candy, cookies, costumes, outfits, and decorations? Hmmm? Had you thought of that, oh Autumn-haters?

Sweetness and sparkle is good for all of us.

• • •

Obviously if you, oh Autumn-haters, insist on not liking this season, despite my ~~thrown together~~ well-reasoned and ~~quickly written~~ impassioned entreaty to change your mind, I will let it go.

Which, I do believe, now that I think about it, is the subtext of this entire season.

Don’t ‘ya know? 😉

• • •

Living The Dream, Going Through The Car Wash

September 22, 2016September 22, 2016 / Ally Bean / 33 Comments

They say “dream big,” but I’m a bit of a contrarian on this point.

You see, I’m blessed with a temperament that enjoys silliness…

and tends to focus on the details of life.

As a result, many of my dreams are small…

like sitting in the car as the car goes through the car wash and taking photos of the process.

And do you know what’s the best part of this small dream?

The fact that it came true.

In Which I Politely Turn The Tables On The Holy Rollers

September 20, 2016January 9, 2017 / Ally Bean / 49 Comments

THE SETTING:

Late summer in a midwest suburb. Saturday afternoon. Beautiful clear blue sky with white clouds. Green lawn, well-tended. Leafy trees aplenty. Pink roses blooming along sidewalk up to front door. Daisies giving it their last hurrah near front door.

THE CAST:

Me, free spirit & lapsed Presbyterian

Holy Roller #1, Amy Winehouse wannabe, brandishing iPad

Holy Roller #2, Olivia Walton doppelgänger, carrying Bible

THE STORY:

When the doorbell rang I was sitting in our home study, which is on the first floor of the house, with the window open. The women who had walked up the sidewalk could see me in the study, so I couldn’t hide from them.

I answered the door. Reluctantly.

Amy said “hello.” She introduced herself and her sidekick, Olivia. They were from Jehovah’s Witnesses, dressed in black: Amy opting for the H&M cool vibe, Olivia going with the tried & true Salvation Army look.

Amy explained that they were bringing the word of God to the ~~heathens~~ people on my street, and could she ask me a question?

“Sure,” says I.

To which she said: “what gives you comfort?”

Without a moment’s hesitation I answered: “nature.” Then I pointed out toward our front yard with flowers + trees– and the sky above.

My answer, immediate and honest as it was, stopped Amy. She didn’t know what to say.

But Olivia, consummate holy roller professional, jumped right in and agreed with me: “Yes, God surrounds us all with His majesty.”

I nodded my head to show that we were on the same page here and smiled.

Nothing happened. Neither one said a word to me. They just stood there staring at me.

So I asked them: “Is this a poll? Are there more questions?”

They chuckled and quickly assured me that: “Oh no. This isn’t a poll. There are no more questions.”

Thus giving me the opportunity to bring this unwanted conversation to a conclusion: “Well then, we’re finished here, aren’t we? Thanks for stopping by and good luck with your mission.”

At which point I slowly shut the front door, leaving them confused by what had happened.

I mean, from their perspective they’d brought the word of God to a presumed heathen who had just got rid of them by turning the conversation around to where they admitted they had nothing more to say.

From my perspective, it was a conversation that would make Jesus and Emily Post proud.

Can I get a hallelujah?

~ ~ • ~ ~

The One About The Friend Who Doesn’t Like Wine

September 16, 2016January 28, 2021 / Ally Bean / 61 Comments

Don’t you love a friend who is on a good rant?

Not a close-minded whiner who is spewing hate and prejudice. No, I’m talking about someone who feels strongly about something.

Someone who has researched the topic and has lots of facts, and opinions, on this particular topic.

Someone with the ability to talk in a nuanced, yet entertaining way, about said offensive topic, which he takes personally while it does not bother you at all.

But, because you are a loyal friend, you let this someone, who we shall call Edward, go on & on about his hatred of… WINE.

• • •

Yes, my gentle readers, I have a friend who despises wine.

He’s not against alcohol consumption, nor is he being a snob about quality. Edward just hates everything about wine and the culture + history around it.

He thinks it’s a scam to believe wine is healthy. “Drink a beer, eat some grapes.”

He thinks it’s a scam to buy expensive huge glasses from which to drink the wine. “Buy the happy couple a toaster.”

He thinks that wine is a way for pretentious insecure people to lord their “knowledge” over the rest of us. “Go take a long walk off a short pier.”

And he thinks that there is no tasty wine anywhere on earth. “It’s just vinegar with good PR.”

• • •

I’d never try to convince Edward that he is wrong about wine.

Partially because he is a grown-up and it’s his choice to cut the substance out of his life. And partly because when he goes off on this rant I know that there’ll be more wine in this world for me. 😉

Like I said above, don’t you just love a friend who is on a good rant!

TGIF, everyone. Have a good weekend. See you next week.